Guest guest Posted January 14, 2012 Report Share Posted January 14, 2012 .... and I know I've written about this before, but both of us (my sis and I) don't think she will live to see 2013. I am at my wits end on how to help her with her pain and suffering, which is beyond any humans ability to bear, truly. She is in terrible, constant pain. I listened to her for two hours this morning; listening is about all I can do for her anymore. And that ain't easy, 'cause she is sobbing most of the time. It hurts us both like hell. So ... eventually, in the course of the conversation ... I asked if she would knit me a scarf. She got excited! She got happy! I will send her the yarn, with the size instructions (a "snood" or "infinity" scarf). I guess I hit on a value of hers that got her alive: she loves to knit things for people - loves to feel useful - loves to please with her handmade gifts. Maybe loves to know that she is still worthwhile in spite of her pain, in spite of the fact that she will soon die. Thanks for listening. Helena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 14, 2012 Report Share Posted January 14, 2012 HelenaIt must be so hard to see your sister in pain and not to be able to help. I'm sure you're going to treasure that scarf!And, I think it's great that you're not avoiding your sister. You're there for her despite the unpleasant feelings it causes you. Birgit Sent from my iPhone .... and I know I've written about this before, but both of us (my sis and I) don't think she will live to see 2013. I am at my wits end on how to help her with her pain and suffering, which is beyond any humans ability to bear, truly. She is in terrible, constant pain. I listened to her for two hours this morning; listening is about all I can do for her anymore. And that ain't easy, 'cause she is sobbing most of the time. It hurts us both like hell. So ... eventually, in the course of the conversation ... I asked if she would knit me a scarf. She got excited! She got happy! I will send her the yarn, with the size instructions (a "snood" or "infinity" scarf). I guess I hit on a value of hers that got her alive: she loves to knit things for people - loves to feel useful - loves to please with her handmade gifts. Maybe loves to know that she is still worthwhile in spite of her pain, in spite of the fact that she will soon die. Thanks for listening. Helena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2012 Report Share Posted January 15, 2012 Thanks so much, Birgit. I could never avoid her, nor would she me. We grew up in the same foster home for most of our childhood and have a very, very strong bond that came from facing a tough childhood together. My other sister is there for her, too, but she grew up in different homes and we are not as close as a result, although she is very loving. And our brother - well, let's just say he's not there at all! Helena To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Saturday, January 14, 2012 10:46:52 PMSubject: Re: My sister is very sick Helena It must be so hard to see your sister in pain and not to be able to help. I'm sure you're going to treasure that scarf! And, I think it's great that you're not avoiding your sister. You're there for her despite the unpleasant feelings it causes you. Birgit Sent from my iPhone .... and I know I've written about this before, but both of us (my sis and I) don't think she will live to see 2013. I am at my wits end on how to help her with her pain and suffering, which is beyond any humans ability to bear, truly. She is in terrible, constant pain. I listened to her for two hours this morning; listening is about all I can do for her anymore. And that ain't easy, 'cause she is sobbing most of the time. It hurts us both like hell. So ... eventually, in the course of the conversation ... I asked if she would knit me a scarf. She got excited! She got happy! I will send her the yarn, with the size instructions (a "snood" or "infinity" scarf). I guess I hit on a value of hers that got her alive: she loves to knit things for people - loves to feel useful - loves to please with her handmade gifts. Maybe loves to know that she is still worthwhile in spite of her pain, in spite of the fact that she will soon die. Thanks for listening. Helena Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2012 Report Share Posted January 15, 2012 Helena, I would like to recommend that you or your sister look into hospice or palliative care. It is available to anyone, often without regard to their ability to pay. Their primary focus is eliminating pain and suffering for people at the end of their life. It sounds like your sister would benefit from both the medical and emotional support that they could give her. I am a volunteer for a non-profit hospice. I go into people's homes for a few hours each week and help with chores, fixing meals, or just sitting and talking to give some support. Each person is assigned a team of doctors, nurses, social workers and spiritual advisors to help them through this difficult time. I hope you can look into this, as I have seen what a difference it can make. You can find hospice services through her insurance, or if she has none, through the phone book in her area. Best wishes at this difficult time, Shauna > > > > > >  > > > > > > ... and I know I've written about this before, but both of us (my sis and I) don't think she will live to see 2013. I am at my wits end on how to help her with her pain and suffering, which is beyond any humans ability to bear, truly. She is in terrible, constant pain. I listened to her for two hours this morning; listening is about all I can do for her anymore. And that ain't easy, 'cause she is sobbing most of the time. It hurts us both like hell. > >  > > So ... eventually, in the course of the conversation ... I asked if she would knit me a scarf.  She got excited! She got happy! I will send her the yarn, with the size instructions (a " snood " or " infinity " scarf). I guess I hit on a value of hers that got her alive: she loves to knit things for people - loves to feel useful - loves to please with her handmade gifts. Maybe loves to know that she is still worthwhile in spite of her pain, in spite of the fact that she will soon die. > >  > > Thanks for listening. > >  > > Helena > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 15, 2012 Report Share Posted January 15, 2012 Thank you, Shauna. Yes, we are looking into hospice. Right now, she has caretakers and wound care nurses coming daily to her home. Helena To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Sunday, January 15, 2012 2:04:48 PMSubject: Re: My sister is very sick Helena,I would like to recommend that you or your sister look into hospice or palliative care. It is available to anyone, often without regard to their ability to pay. Their primary focus is eliminating pain and suffering for people at the end of their life. It sounds like your sister would benefit from both the medical and emotional support that they could give her. I am a volunteer for a non-profit hospice. I go into people's homes for a few hours each week and help with chores, fixing meals, or just sitting and talking to give some support. Each person is assigned a team of doctors, nurses, social workers and spiritual advisors to help them through this difficult time. I hope you can look into this, as I have seen what a difference it can make. You can find hospice services through her insurance, or if she has none, through the phone book in her area.Best wishes at this difficult time,Shauna > > > > > >  > > > > > > ... and I know I've written about this before, but both of us (my sis and I) don't think she will live to see 2013. I am at my wits end on how to help her with her pain and suffering, which is beyond any humans ability to bear, truly. She is in terrible, constant pain. I listened to her for two hours this morning; listening is about all I can do for her anymore. And that ain't easy, 'cause she is sobbing most of the time. It hurts us both like hell. > >  > > So ... eventually, in the course of the conversation ... I asked if she would knit me a scarf.  She got excited! She got happy! I will send her the yarn, with the size instructions (a "snood" or "infinity" scarf). I guess I hit on a value of hers that got her alive: she loves to knit things for people - loves to feel useful - loves to please with her handmade gifts. Maybe loves to know that she is still worthwhile in spite of her pain, in spite of the fact that she will soon die. > >  > > Thanks for listening. > >  > > Helena> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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