My exposure Therapy today:-)

[Guest guest]

salaamz:-)This is my longest speech, 20 mins. In the past i have only done 5 to 7 min speeches in my public speaking club. Ofcourse i am nervous. I feel a lump on my throat right now. i am makinf room for it, breathing around it, as we speak. I am NOT prepared, as until day b4 yesyerday i was under the impression the speech was next thrusday, i found out tueday that it is in 2 days, and natural reaction went somethin like this "SHOOOOOOOOT!" My speech topics r always about what i am passionate about, b4 they used to be comparative religions (similarities) and now i speak about ACT. last week i did a 5 min speech about act metaphor, today it is a 20 min speech, so am doing the metaphor again, PLUS all act principles, plus illusion of control, described briefly. Obviously speech content is not as polished as i would have liked it to be, didn't have enough time. but what the TM clubs focus a bit more on is delivery. so voice, gestures, eyecontact, no note cards, movement, approriate pauses, time alloted, speech flow etc etc. Being a social anxiety/phobia suffere for 8 years, presentation anxiety is my bestest buddy:-). what i fear the most is talking in front of people, making eye contct, being the focal atthention etc. etc. But if u ask me, sarah despite this being ur biggest fear, if this anxiety was not there, would u have liked to be able to speak confidentally in front of a crowd, connect with people, have some impact on them? my answer wo0uld be OFCOURSE, i would. ahaa...theres is a value hidden somewhere under this immense anxiety. So today while i talk about defusion, expansion, being present, connecting with my observing self, taking action in service of a value, i will be (hopefully) simultanoeuly be pracitsing it myself while talking FOR 20 MINS!! (shoot:-)result is not as imp (how the speech goes), what is imp. to me right now is whether i can actualy physically practise what i belive in my heart, i.e. despite any pain/fear/anxiety/sadness being present, can we still move forward, take effective action, not guided by that immensly painful feelings, but rather by a value that we hold so close to our heart? whether that value be 'connection', like mine today, or be it, 'making the most of my life on earth, 1 moment at a time moment'.wasalaam:-) -K Designs.l