Re: Re: To turn away from the sunset

[Guest guest]

Bloody despressing - why dwell on such a song? Does it lift you up, or just offer some relief because that's how you feel and you identify with it at the moment? I'm really just curious, not judging. I used to dwell on crap a lot, too. Maybe it is a stage you need to go through? Or do you?

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Wednesday, February 22, 2012 6:49:35 AMSubject: Re: To turn away from the sunset

Just a thought...(just the lyrics)...All I want is your understanding,As in the small light of affections.Why is this my life?Is almost everybodies question.And I've tried,Everything but suicide,But its crossed my mind.I prefer peace,Wouldn't have to have one worldy possesion,But essentially I'm an animal,So just what do I do with all the aggresion?Well I've tried,Everything but suicide,But it's crossed my mind.Life is a one way street and,If you could paint it,I'd draw myself going in the right direction,So I go all the way,Like I really really know but the truth is,I'm only guessing.And I've tried,Everything but suicide,Ooh but it's crossed my mind...Just a thought.It's even dark in the day time,It's not just good, it's great depressionWhen I was lost I even found myself,Looking in the guns direction.And so I've triedEverything but suicideBut yes, it's crossed my mind...BUT I'M FINE......(Crash....small....insignificant as must....the destiny....Lou)> >> > > > Today someone I work with told me to "Fuck off", to just, "Piss off, I don't want your help!" Ok, that's work, defuse right!!? Nothing is personal there, it's all about the client yeh? Fine, I know that feeling anyway. My work colleagues tell me, "You're special, I've never known anyone with your empathy". This is a curse, not a blessing (unless my name is Tenzin Gyatso *Dali Lama* and it is your destiny to preach compassion) because humanity sees it as weakness, an inability to perform. Fine but I can't/don't want to live another way. Curse me, fire me, kill me...it is all good in my world. There is nothing I can do about that except have `faith' that it all ends there. I wonder about Nirvana, I don't want to come back reincarnated to go through it all again.> > > > Tomorrow I leave my therapist, the person who sat on that rock under a tree with me for so many hours. Did he do it because he has trained to do it, because he has to do it for a crust (money), because he needs to move forward himself and this is the only way. You know it doesn't even matter......because of the value he gave me...it is beyond the title of `gift'. > > > > Ode to my Spiritual Healer (rewritten more than 'tweaked')> > > > You taught me so much of living,> > That it is ok to care, to cry, to live and roll.> > Lessons that both enriched and crippled> > My full heart and my empty soul.> > > > I know I caused you to suffer> > With my lack of faith and distain.> > I feel sorrow my mentor, my muse,> > I will never do it again.> > > > You, the human with spirit and knowledge,> > With a being so large,> > I'm humbled by your courage> > As I sit with this barrage.> > > > I hope you know your value,> > That your work has meaning,> > Leading lives from desert> > Into lives of greening.> > > > You showed me your strength> > And your vulnerability.> > You taught me how to live,> > You taught me humility.> > > > I love, I love, > > I live, I live,> > Because you were the one,> > So willing to give.> > > > Thank you now> > And thank you for days gone> > For you wisdom and lessons> > But now I must go on.> > > > I'll love you always.> > > > Really it's a shitty verse because I have too much to say/express/feel, it is totally beyond words...worthless trying....> > > > Louise> >>

[Guest guest]

This is a very nice reply to this post, this thread. But, for crying out loud Lou, you left us with some very disturbing thoughts and images here. Do you think you can make it all go away by sending a sober email?

When you post drunk or high, or whatever you want to call it, we get involved. We don't know what to do. We don't know if you are going to kill yourself or your daughter or not. We have no way of knowing what you intend when you are under the influence of whatever.

What do you want us to do when you post drunk or high? How can we help? A lot of us are in a different time zone. When you post drunk, it often coincides with my getting up in the morning (at 4 or 5 a.m.). I have reached out at times then, but reaching out to someone who is high or drunk is like trying to save a person drowning in air. But they can't breathe, for some reason.

So - what should we do the next time you post drunk? Would you prefer that we ignore you? Should we answer you in the moment (I've tried that and you don't hear me)? Let you wake up the next morning? If you do?

Let me know how to respond to the drunk Lou. I mean it. I would like to know how to help.

Helena

From: "" <experiential2012@....au>To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Thursday, February 23, 2012 1:07:23 AMSubject: Re: To turn away from the sunset

Well, I have done the deed and left my therapist to do his good work with others. I'm enveloped by the sadness of the loss. To my benefit, utter privilege, he left me with a piece of him, the gift of music (no Gnarls Barkley, ha, ha, ha), instead tracks full of illuminating messages. I feel life as intensely as it can be today. As much as you can feel love, I feel it, as much as you can feel pain, I feel it. What an incredibly smart dude! I'm deeply indebted. So I want to shout out praise for the psychological healers...my daughter would be killed or without a mother if not for the benefit of their knowledge and skill. My learned psychologist saved two lives.

[Guest guest]

Are you kidding? -- please keep screaming out your dysfunction in public - where else are you going to put it?

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, February 24, 2012 5:21:33 PMSubject: Re: To turn away from the sunset

Helena,I love the poetry and truth to this line, "...reaching out to someone who is high or drunk is like trying to save a person drowning in air". Please accept my most heartfelt apology for screaming out my dysfunction in public. The only one responsible for my life is me. As Viktor l says, "I would say that being human is being responsible – existentially responsible, responsible for one's own existence". I have that on my wall but as you know I falter all too often in my responsibility to my own existence. Certainly being ignored has been a recurring theme in my life and I can see why people take a wide berth when there is nothing to be done but witness destruction. I have long suffered from being `too much' as opposed to `not enough'. I promise you I am working with this most vigilantly now, the substance use I mean, and although I can't promise perfection, I can promise to do my best.I have absolutely no desire to cause suffering in others so I will make every effort to be more mindful on this forum ok.I owe you another apology too Helena. I thought about my acting on the urge to put my own words to your writing and all I could see was my own ego and disrespect for your communication. I made a mistake there too. I enjoyed your noteworthy message, quite plainly, it got me thinking. Sorry I changed it.I appreciate this feedback with a heart mindfully humbled,>> > > This is a very nice reply to this post, this thread. But, for crying out loud Lou, you left us with some very disturbing thoughts and images here. Do you think you can make it all go away by sending a sober email? > > > When you post drunk or high, or whatever you want to call it, we get involved. We don't know what to do. We don't know if you are going to kill yourself or your daughter or not. We have no way of knowing what you intend when you are under the influence of whatever. > >  > > What do you want us to do when you post drunk or high? How can we help? A lot of us are in a different time zone. When you post drunk, it often coincides with my getting up in the morning (at 4 or 5 a.m.). I have reached out at times then, but reaching out to someone who is high or drunk is like trying to save a person drowning in air. But they can't breathe, for some reason. > >  > > So - what should we do the next time you post drunk? Would you prefer that we ignore you? Should we answer you in the moment (I've tried that and you don't hear me)? Let you wake up the next morning? If you do? > > > Let me know how to respond to the drunk Lou. I mean it. I would like to know how to help. > >  > > Helena > > > > Re: To turn away from the sunset > >  > > > > > Well, I have done the deed and left my therapist to do his good work with others. I'm enveloped by the sadness of the loss. To my benefit, utter privilege, he left me with a piece of him, the gift of music (no Gnarls Barkley, ha, ha, ha), instead tracks full of illuminating messages. I feel life as intensely as it can be today. As much as you can feel love, I feel it, as much as you can feel pain, I feel it. What an incredibly smart dude! > > I'm deeply indebted. So I want to shout out praise for the psychological healers...my daughter would be killed or without a mother if not for the benefit of their knowledge and skill. My learned psychologist saved two lives. > > >

[Guest guest]

I owe you another apology too Helena. I thought about my acting on the urge to put my own words to your writing and all I could see was my own ego and disrespect for your communication. I made a mistake there too. I enjoyed your noteworthy message, quite plainly, it got me thinking. Sorry I changed it.

Are you kidding? I welcome your comments, your edits. That was not your ego talking - that was real. You made no mistake. You did not disrespect me. Why do you own what isn't true, what isn't you? Why do you so much want to make it your fault? I don't get that.

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, February 24, 2012 5:36:45 PMSubject: Re: Re: To turn away from the sunset

Are you kidding? -- please keep screaming out your dysfunction in public - where else are you going to put it?

From: "" <experiential2012@....au>To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, February 24, 2012 5:21:33 PMSubject: Re: To turn away from the sunset

Helena,I love the poetry and truth to this line, "...reaching out to someone who is high or drunk is like trying to save a person drowning in air". Please accept my most heartfelt apology for screaming out my dysfunction in public. The only one responsible for my life is me. As Viktor l says, "I would say that being human is being responsible – existentially responsible, responsible for one's own existence". I have that on my wall but as you know I falter all too often in my responsibility to my own existence. Certainly being ignored has been a recurring theme in my life and I can see why people take a wide berth when there is nothing to be done but witness destruction. I have long suffered from being `too much' as opposed to `not enough'. I promise you I am working with this most vigilantly now, the substance use I mean, and although I can't promise perfection, I can promise to do my best.I have absolutely no desire to cause suffering in others so I will make every effort to be more mindful on this forum ok.I owe you another apology too Helena. I thought about my acting on the urge to put my own words to your writing and all I could see was my own ego and disrespect for your communication. I made a mistake there too. I enjoyed your noteworthy message, quite plainly, it got me thinking. Sorry I changed it.I appreciate this feedback with a heart mindfully humbled,>> > > This is a very nice reply to this post, this thread. But, for crying out loud Lou, you left us with some very disturbing thoughts and images here. Do you think you can make it all go away by sending a sober email? > > > When you post drunk or high, or whatever you want to call it, we get involved. We don't know what to do. We don't know if you are going to kill yourself or your daughter or not. We have no way of knowing what you intend when you are under the influence of whatever. > >  > > What do you want us to do when you post drunk or high? How can we help? A lot of us are in a different time zone. When you post drunk, it often coincides with my getting up in the morning (at 4 or 5 a.m.). I have reached out at times then, but reaching out to someone who is high or drunk is like trying to save a person drowning in air. But they can't breathe, for some reason. > >  > > So - what should we do the next time you post drunk? Would you prefer that we ignore you? Should we answer you in the moment (I've tried that and you don't hear me)? Let you wake up the next morning? If you do? > > > Let me know how to respond to the drunk Lou. I mean it. I would like to know how to help. > >  > > Helena > > > > Re: To turn away from the sunset > >  > > > > > Well, I have done the deed and left my therapist to do his good work with others. I'm enveloped by the sadness of the loss. To my benefit, utter privilege, he left me with a piece of him, the gift of music (no Gnarls Barkley, ha, ha, ha), instead tracks full of illuminating messages. I feel life as intensely as it can be today. As much as you can feel love, I feel it, as much as you can feel pain, I feel it. What an incredibly smart dude! > > I'm deeply indebted. So I want to shout out praise for the psychological healers...my daughter would be killed or without a mother if not for the benefit of their knowledge and skill. My learned psychologist saved two lives. > > >

[Guest guest]

Why not post this on ACT, to the public?

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, February 24, 2012 6:03:46 PMSubject: Re: To turn away from the sunset

Gosh Helena,Sometimes you just tap directly into my soul. This issue of `fault', or `taking blame' is something that I spent a lot of time working on. My therapist was like a beacon of light during these conversations. I still have trouble verbalising "It's not my fault because...." but this is all tied up in historical thinking and my purpose is to move forward. I guess I'm just projecting all the unworkable old programming (again). Thanks for letting me off the hook.Your ACT girlfriend,Lou > > > > > > > > This is a very nice reply to this post, this thread. But, for crying out loud Lou, you left us with some very disturbing thoughts and images here. Do you think you can make it all go away by sending a sober email? > > > > > > When you post drunk or high, or whatever you want to call it, we get involved. We don't know what to do. We don't know if you are going to kill yourself or your daughter or not. We have no way of knowing what you intend when you are under the influence of whatever. > > > >  > > > > What do you want us to do when you post drunk or high? How can we help? A lot of us are in a different time zone. When you post drunk, it often coincides with my getting up in the morning (at 4 or 5 a.m.). I have reached out at times then, but reaching out to someone who is high or drunk is like trying to save a person drowning in air. But they can't breathe, for some reason. > > > >  > > > > So - what should we do the next time you post drunk? Would you prefer that we ignore you? Should we answer you in  the moment (I've tried that and you don't hear me)? Let you wake up the next morning? If you  do? > > > > > > Let me know how  to respond to the drunk Lou. I mean it. I would like to know how to help. > > > >  > > > > Helena  > > > > > > > > Re: To turn away from the sunset > > > >  > > > > > > > > > > Well, I have done the deed and left my therapist to do his good work with others. I'm enveloped by the sadness of the loss. To my benefit, utter privilege, he left me with a piece of him, the gift of music (no Gnarls Barkley, ha, ha, ha), instead tracks full of illuminating messages. I feel life as intensely as it can be today. As much as you can feel love, I feel it, as much as you can feel pain, I feel it. What an incredibly smart dude! > > > > I'm deeply indebted. So I want to shout out praise for the psychological healers...my daughter would be killed or without a mother if not for the benefit of their knowledge and skill. My learned psychologist saved two lives. > > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

You did. Sorry. I'm feeling such sorrow right now.

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, February 24, 2012 6:03:46 PMSubject: Re: To turn away from the sunset

Gosh Helena,Sometimes you just tap directly into my soul. This issue of `fault', or `taking blame' is something that I spent a lot of time working on. My therapist was like a beacon of light during these conversations. I still have trouble verbalising "It's not my fault because...." but this is all tied up in historical thinking and my purpose is to move forward. I guess I'm just projecting all the unworkable old programming (again). Thanks for letting me off the hook.Your ACT girlfriend,Lou > > > > > > > > This is a very nice reply to this post, this thread. But, for crying out loud Lou, you left us with some very disturbing thoughts and images here. Do you think you can make it all go away by sending a sober email? > > > > > > When you post drunk or high, or whatever you want to call it, we get involved. We don't know what to do. We don't know if you are going to kill yourself or your daughter or not. We have no way of knowing what you intend when you are under the influence of whatever. > > > >  > > > > What do you want us to do when you post drunk or high? How can we help? A lot of us are in a different time zone. When you post drunk, it often coincides with my getting up in the morning (at 4 or 5 a.m.). I have reached out at times then, but reaching out to someone who is high or drunk is like trying to save a person drowning in air. But they can't breathe, for some reason. > > > >  > > > > So - what should we do the next time you post drunk? Would you prefer that we ignore you? Should we answer you in  the moment (I've tried that and you don't hear me)? Let you wake up the next morning? If you  do? > > > > > > Let me know how  to respond to the drunk Lou. I mean it. I would like to know how to help. > > > >  > > > > Helena  > > > > > > > > Re: To turn away from the sunset > > > >  > > > > > > > > > > Well, I have done the deed and left my therapist to do his good work with others. I'm enveloped by the sadness of the loss. To my benefit, utter privilege, he left me with a piece of him, the gift of music (no Gnarls Barkley, ha, ha, ha), instead tracks full of illuminating messages. I feel life as intensely as it can be today. As much as you can feel love, I feel it, as much as you can feel pain, I feel it. What an incredibly smart dude! > > > > I'm deeply indebted. So I want to shout out praise for the psychological healers...my daughter would be killed or without a mother if not for the benefit of their knowledge and skill. My learned psychologist saved two lives. > > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

My sister is near death. I know I posted this before.

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, February 24, 2012 6:11:16 PMSubject: Re: Re: To turn away from the sunset

You did. Sorry. I'm feeling such sorrow right now.

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, February 24, 2012 6:03:46 PMSubject: Re: To turn away from the sunset

Gosh Helena,Sometimes you just tap directly into my soul. This issue of `fault', or `taking blame' is something that I spent a lot of time working on. My therapist was like a beacon of light during these conversations. I still have trouble verbalising "It's not my fault because...." but this is all tied up in historical thinking and my purpose is to move forward. I guess I'm just projecting all the unworkable old programming (again). Thanks for letting me off the hook.Your ACT girlfriend,Lou > > > > > > > > This is a very nice reply to this post, this thread. But, for crying out loud Lou, you left us with some very disturbing thoughts and images here. Do you think you can make it all go away by sending a sober email? > > > > > > When you post drunk or high, or whatever you want to call it, we get involved. We don't know what to do. We don't know if you are going to kill yourself or your daughter or not. We have no way of knowing what you intend when you are under the influence of whatever. > > > >  > > > > What do you want us to do when you post drunk or high? How can we help? A lot of us are in a different time zone. When you post drunk, it often coincides with my getting up in the morning (at 4 or 5 a.m.). I have reached out at times then, but reaching out to someone who is high or drunk is like trying to save a person drowning in air. But they can't breathe, for some reason. > > > >  > > > > So - what should we do the next time you post drunk? Would you prefer that we ignore you? Should we answer you in  the moment (I've tried that and you don't hear me)? Let you wake up the next morning? If you  do? > > > > > > Let me know how  to respond to the drunk Lou. I mean it. I would like to know how to help. > > > >  > > > > Helena  > > > > > > > > Re: To turn away from the sunset > > > >  > > > > > > > > > > Well, I have done the deed and left my therapist to do his good work with others. I'm enveloped by the sadness of the loss. To my benefit, utter privilege, he left me with a piece of him, the gift of music (no Gnarls Barkley, ha, ha, ha), instead tracks full of illuminating messages. I feel life as intensely as it can be today. As much as you can feel love, I feel it, as much as you can feel pain, I feel it. What an incredibly smart dude! > > > > I'm deeply indebted. So I want to shout out praise for the psychological healers...my daughter would be killed or without a mother if not for the benefit of their knowledge and skill. My learned psychologist saved two lives. > > > > > >>

[Guest guest]

Hi Helena

I am very sorry to hear that. Hopefully she will recover. Best wishes from your friend Francis

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: hbbr@...Date: Fri, 24 Feb 2012 23:12:56 +0000Subject: Re: Re: To turn away from the sunset

My sister is near death. I know I posted this before.

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, February 24, 2012 6:11:16 PMSubject: Re: Re: To turn away from the sunset

You did. Sorry. I'm feeling such sorrow right now.

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, February 24, 2012 6:03:46 PMSubject: Re: To turn away from the sunset

Gosh Helena,Sometimes you just tap directly into my soul. This issue of `fault', or `taking blame' is something that I spent a lot of time working on. My therapist was like a beacon of light during these conversations. I still have trouble verbalising "It's not my fault because...." but this is all tied up in historical thinking and my purpose is to move forward. I guess I'm just projecting all the unworkable old programming (again). Thanks for letting me off the hook.Your ACT girlfriend,Lou > > > > > > > > This is a very nice reply to this post, this thread. But, for crying out loud Lou, you left us with some very disturbing thoughts and images here. Do you think you can make it all go away by sending a sober email? > > > > > > When you post drunk or high, or whatever you want to call it, we get involved. We don't know what to do. We don't know if you are going to kill yourself or your daughter or not. We have no way of knowing what you intend when you are under the influence of whatever. > > > >  > > > > What do you want us to do when you post drunk or high? How can we help? A lot of us are in a different time zone. When you post drunk, it often coincides with my getting up in the morning (at 4 or 5 a.m.). I have reached out at times then, but reaching out to someone who is high or drunk is like trying to save a person drowning in air. But they can't breathe, for some reason. > > > >  > > > > So - what should we do the next time you post drunk? Would you prefer that we ignore you? Should we answer you in  the moment (I've tried that and you don't hear me)? Let you wake up the next morning? If you  do? > > > > > > Let me know how  to respond to the drunk Lou. I mean it. I would like to know how to help. > > > >  > > > > Helena  > > > > > > > > Re: To turn away from the sunset > > > >  > > > > > > > > > > Well, I have done the deed and left my therapist to do his good work with others. I'm enveloped by the sadness of the loss. To my benefit, utter privilege, he left me with a piece of him, the gift of music (no Gnarls Barkley, ha, ha, ha), instead tracks full of illuminating messages. I feel life as intensely as it can be today. As much as you can feel love, I feel it, as much as you can feel pain, I feel it. What an incredibly smart dude! > > > > I'm deeply indebted. So I want to shout out praise for the psychological healers...my daughter would be killed or without a mother if not for the benefit of their knowledge and skill. My learned psychologist saved two lives. > > > > > >>