Re: sadness

[Guest guest]

Very sad indeed. I hear you and feel your pain. To an addicted person, nothing is more important than the addictive substance - or so I've heard so many times. Do you ever watch Dr. Drew (addiction expert) on TV) - I think he's great. She probably does care about her baby, but not as much as she cares about drinking. It is that powerful.

What would I do? Nothing. Sad, but true; there is nothing that you can do. It's not as though she doesn't know better. So she has the information. It is up to her. Why, oh why, do such people allow themselves to get pregnant???

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, February 24, 2012 1:15:17 PMSubject: sadness

I heard from a young mother, in second trimester of pregnancy and drinking and said that the pregnancy is not really a deterrent, doesn't really care, and while it was hard to admit, it was her truth. I wanted to punch her out. And now i just can't stop crying. And i just needed to put it out there. What would you do?I'm sitting with sadness at what sort of danger i put others in with drinking. It's fairly amazing I'm not sipping out of a straw right now, that i can still type and think and that i didn't physically harm anyone else. But what an amazingly selfish dangerous destructive behavior. And how dishonest of her to say she doesn't care is my thought. Thanks for listening.

[Guest guest]

Thank you kindly for hearing the pain. Gee, this valued path is painful, is it

not? If she's anything like me, she's full of it. She schlepped her butt to the

meeting and shared about her condition. If she didn't care, why was she there?

And why share? I feel i could've done more, but don't know what. I feel horrible

and don't know what that's about. Responsible even. I don't know. There is more

there for sure, though.

I haven't seen much Dr. Drew as the little i saw and heard led me to conclude he

was well paid to talk a good game. But willing to be wrong. What do you like

about him?

>

>

>

> Very sad indeed.  I hear you and feel your pain .  To an addicted person,

nothing is more important than the addictive substance - or so I've heard so

many times.  Do you ever watch Dr. Drew (addiction expert) on TV ) - I think

he's great .  She probably does care about her baby, but not as much as she

cares about  drinking.  It is that powerful. 

>

>

>

> What would I do?  Nothing.  Sad, but true; there is nothing that you can do

..  It's not as though she doesn't know better.  So she has the information. 

It is up to her.  Why, oh why, do such people allow themselves to get

pregnant???

>

>

>

> Helena 

>

>

>

> sadness

>

>  

>

>

>

>

> I heard from a young mother, in second trimester of pregnancy and drinking and

said that the pregnancy is not really a deterrent, doesn't really care, and

while it was hard to admit, it was her truth.

>

> I wanted to punch her out. And now i just can't stop crying.

>

> And i just needed to put it out there.

>

> What would you do?

>

> I'm sitting with sadness at what sort of danger i put others in with drinking.

It's fairly amazing I'm not sipping out of a straw right now, that i can still

type and think and that i didn't physically harm anyone else.

>

> But what an amazingly selfish dangerous destructive behavior.

>

> And how dishonest of her to say she doesn't care is my thought.

>

> Thanks for listening.

>

[Guest guest]

Terry, maybe she was "forced" to go to the meeting - may have gotten a DUI or something like that. Perhaps sharing is a first baby step for her. I think it can only be good that she did that much, at least. You can't change what you don't acknowledge. Maybe, just maybe, coming to that meeting and sharing her story will make a difference. If not, if she was just putting on an act or was there because she was court-ordered to be ... well, who knows. I do understand your feeling of helplessness and sadness. Did anyone speak up and encourage her to stop drinking for the sake of the baby - or was that something one wouldn't do in an AA meeting? I've only been to one open meeting, as part of a school assignment (psychology class).

I think Dr. Drew is one of the best experts on addiction, based on what I've seen. I watch his daily show - record it, in fact. I like him because he is sincere, kind, authentic, caring, and talented as a show host. Who cares if he makes boatloads of money because "he talks a good game" - more power to him! That doesn't diminish his credibility in my mind at all because he comes across to me as honest and compassionate. He also doesn't mince words and tells it like it is.

He is getting a good message out there via his show. Last night, Tom Arnold was a guest and revealed how he nearly lost his life by becoming addicted to prescribed pain killers after 20 years of abstinence from alcohol. He kept it a secret for a long time, including from his wife; he deluded himself as well and continued to help others get into rehab for alcohol abuse without acknowledging his pill addiction - he said he was a real phony but has made amends with everyone he fooled now.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, February 24, 2012 9:40:04 PMSubject: Re: sadness

Thank you kindly for hearing the pain. Gee, this valued path is painful, is it not? If she's anything like me, she's full of it. She schlepped her butt to the meeting and shared about her condition. If she didn't care, why was she there? And why share? I feel i could've done more, but don't know what. I feel horrible and don't know what that's about. Responsible even. I don't know. There is more there for sure, though.I haven't seen much Dr. Drew as the little i saw and heard led me to conclude he was well paid to talk a good game. But willing to be wrong. What do you like about him? >> > > Very sad indeed. I hear you and feel your pain . To an addicted person, nothing is more important than the addictive substance - or so I've heard so many times. Do you ever watch Dr. Drew (addiction expert) on TV ) - I think he's great . She probably does care about her baby, but not as much as she cares about drinking. It is that powerful. > > > > What would I do? Nothing. Sad, but true; there is nothing that you can do . It's not as though she doesn't know better. So she has the information. It is up to her.  Why, oh why, do such people allow themselves to get pregnant??? > > > > Helena > > > > sadness > >  > > > > > I heard from a young mother, in second trimester of pregnancy and drinking and said that the pregnancy is not really a deterrent, doesn't really care, and while it was hard to admit, it was her truth. > > I wanted to punch her out. And now i just can't stop crying. > > And i just needed to put it out there. > > What would you do? > > I'm sitting with sadness at what sort of danger i put others in with drinking. It's fairly amazing I'm not sipping out of a straw right now, that i can still type and think and that i didn't physically harm anyone else. > > But what an amazingly selfish dangerous destructive behavior. > > And how dishonest of her to say she doesn't care is my thought. > > Thanks for listening.>

[Guest guest]

I don't want to say too much more for risk of trampling on the second A in AA.

The responses that ensued in that meeting were some of the most compassionate

offerings I've ever heard, people sharing their own experience and what that was

like then, what it's like now. I was shocked at the level of acceptance and

honesty and giving back. Pretty amazing, huh? I'm fairly certain it may have

helped me more than the person sharing, but i guess you never know who or how

folks are going to be moved. Yes, I think her sharing was a huge step for her

and that's always a good thing to remember..how long it took me. I'm feeling

less sad today and more like grateful i was part of that experience. And there

is more for sure. Wow, what a ride.

kind regards,

terry

> >

> >

> >

> > Very sad indeed.  I hear you and feel your pain .  To an addicted

person, nothing is more important than the addictive substance - or so I've

heard so many times.  Do you ever watch Dr. Drew (addiction expert) on TV ) -

I think he's great .  She probably does care about her baby, but not as much

as she cares about  drinking.  It is that powerful. 

> >

> >

> >

> > What would I do?  Nothing.  Sad, but true; there is nothing that you

can do .  It's not as though she doesn't know better.  So she has the

information.  It is up to her.  Why, oh why, do such people allow

themselves to get pregnant???

> >

> >

> >

> > Helena 

> >

> >

> >

> > sadness

> >

> >  

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > I heard from a young mother, in second trimester of pregnancy and drinking

and said that the pregnancy is not really a deterrent, doesn't really care, and

while it was hard to admit, it was her truth.

> >

> > I wanted to punch her out. And now i just can't stop crying.

> >

> > And i just needed to put it out there.

> >

> > What would you do?

> >

> > I'm sitting with sadness at what sort of danger i put others in with

drinking. It's fairly amazing I'm not sipping out of a straw right now, that i

can still type and think and that i didn't physically harm anyone else.

> >

> > But what an amazingly selfish dangerous destructive behavior.

> >

> > And how dishonest of her to say she doesn't care is my thought.

> >

> > Thanks for listening.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

BTW, I'm fairly surprised you've managed to reach all the specific conclusions

re: AA you've mentioned in this list having only attended one open meeting.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Very sad indeed.  I hear you and feel your pain .  To an addicted

person, nothing is more important than the addictive substance - or so I've

heard so many times.  Do you ever watch Dr. Drew (addiction expert) on TV ) -

I think he's great .  She probably does care about her baby, but not as much

as she cares about  drinking.  It is that powerful. 

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > What would I do?  Nothing.  Sad, but true; there is nothing that you

can do .  It's not as though she doesn't know better.  So she has the

information.  It is up to her.  Why, oh why, do such people allow

themselves to get pregnant???

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > Helena 

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > sadness

> > >

> > >  

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > I heard from a young mother, in second trimester of pregnancy and drinking

and said that the pregnancy is not really a deterrent, doesn't really care, and

while it was hard to admit, it was her truth.

> > >

> > > I wanted to punch her out. And now i just can't stop crying.

> > >

> > > And i just needed to put it out there.

> > >

> > > What would you do?

> > >

> > > I'm sitting with sadness at what sort of danger i put others in with

drinking. It's fairly amazing I'm not sipping out of a straw right now, that i

can still type and think and that i didn't physically harm anyone else.

> > >

> > > But what an amazingly selfish dangerous destructive behavior.

> > >

> > > And how dishonest of her to say she doesn't care is my thought.

> > >

> > > Thanks for listening.

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, it is surprising, isn't it! However, let it be known that I am not opposed to AA. I simply said it wasn't helpful for me. I'm not sure what other conclusions you think I arrived at regarding AA. Let's not rehash it, though. I don't know why you can't just let comments "just be" without digging, digging, digging into their motivation and implying that one is being disingenuous - the feeling I get when you do that.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Saturday, February 25, 2012 9:02:31 PMSubject: Re: sadness

BTW, I'm fairly surprised you've managed to reach all the specific conclusions re: AA you've mentioned in this list having only attended one open meeting. > > > > > > > > > > > > Very sad indeed. I hear you and feel your pain . To an addicted person, nothing is more important than the addictive substance - or so I've heard so many times. Do you ever watch Dr. Drew (addiction expert) on TV ) - I think he's great . She probably does care about her baby, but not as much as she cares about drinking. It is that powerful. > > > > > > > > > > > > What would I do? Nothing. Sad, but true; there is nothing that you can do . It's not as though she doesn't know better. So she has the information. It is up to her.  Why, oh why, do such people allow themselves to get pregnant??? > > > > > > > > > > > > Helena > > > > > > > > > > > > sadness > > > > > >  > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > I heard from a young mother, in second trimester of pregnancy and drinking and said that the pregnancy is not really a deterrent, doesn't really care, and while it was hard to admit, it was her truth. > > > > > > I wanted to punch her out. And now i just can't stop crying. > > > > > > And i just needed to put it out there. > > > > > > What would you do? > > > > > > I'm sitting with sadness at what sort of danger i put others in with drinking. It's fairly amazing I'm not sipping out of a straw right now, that i can still type and think and that i didn't physically harm anyone else. > > > > > > But what an amazingly selfish dangerous destructive behavior. > > > > > > And how dishonest of her to say she doesn't care is my thought. > > > > > > Thanks for listening. > > >> >>