Guest guest Posted February 25, 2012 Report Share Posted February 25, 2012 Hi - I think the best way to get information on perspective taking is to join the professionals listserv. http://tech.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/join It gets quite geeky from time to time but it also has some good stuff for us lay folks. I think quite a few of the people on the public list also watch the professional list.You must be a dues-paying member of ACBS to join the professional list, but the dues are on a sliding scale. Information about joining and dues are at http://contextualpsychology.org/ You can also search "perspective taking" on the public list and professional list to find past posts of this topic.Happy perspective taking and committed valued action.BillTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: experiential2012@...Date: Sat, 25 Feb 2012 00:13:55 +0000Subject: Re: Being Invisible This is great Bill, (exactly what I was hoping for) It would be great to collate everyones experiences and pin down what is common to us all. I too use instruments in the environment to come back to being grounded. Like music, mints, hot and cold liquids and the colour green. During interpersonal interactions I have always been fascinated by eyes, expression and movement so these days I'm conscious of being mindful when I observe/interact with others. This results in a fuller engagement, noticing is just one aspect there and I think that sensation of fullness (?) is an awareness or sense of self. I often wonder why some people seem to know who they are at an early age and pursue what is important to them from the beginning of their adult life. Is it about intellectual capacity? Opportunities or lack there of? A gap in developmental lessons? Why is it that people have a sense of `who' they are at different developmental stages of their life? I like sons model of personality development and looking at that I tend to think the reasons for the questions posed above lay within the resolution of those conflicts, just as he says. If your lessons on trust or love have been misinformation, one would have to re-educate before they could look to who they are. What do you think? Perhaps thats why people learn a sense of self at different stages. You mentioned the term, `flexible perspective taking'. With your definition, "the place from which I can see what needs to be seen and to live a valued life." I like this a lot, got the ol' mind ticking over. Are there more definitions? Have you been reading about flexible perspective taking? Warm regards, > > > Hi > I like your words about your experiences with "observing self." I have made similar discoveries. I gather that the ACT community's understanding of "observing self" is evolving. Most recently the term "flexible perspective taking" is being used. I've tinkered with a definition I can be comfortable with and come up with "the place from which I can see what needs to be seen and to live a valued life." I like to think of it as taking a step or two (or a hundred!) back from my thinking self. > I find that observing self is a very important ACT process to master. It allows meto notice what's going on and decide how best to use the other ACT processes. Sometimes I get so tangled up in what's going on in my head I forget to exercise my observing self. I use physical things to remind me to use my observing self - a rock in my pocket, a little bumble bee sticker on my car dash board. I've also found it helpful to use the physical symptoms of my anxiety to remind me to use my observing self. Often times simply noticing what's going on (or more importantly, noticing that I'm noticing) really helps me let go of whatever I'm struggling with. It helps to say out loud what I've noticed and write it down. I often chuckle when I write or say it as it seems so silly when I hear/see it through my physical senses after believing it in my head. > Observing self also helps me realize that I am simply the me I've always been and not the one I've cooked up in my head. > Nice work and thanks for posting these helpful words. > Bill > > To: ACT_for_the_Public > From: experiential2012@... > Date: Fri, 24 Feb 2012 06:10:35 +0000 > Subject: Being Invisible > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Lately my mind has often had me in summary mode, working within the need to tie up loose ends, to compact and order all the lessons. Today I spent time reviewing my changing experience of feeling invisible. > > > > ****************** > > > > Being invisible feels like people, society, the world, just pass right through you like a ghost. It has the appearance of being absent of soul, a place where the spirit lies almost dormant. Contact with other people becomes an intensely sensational experience because of the need to feel physically real, organic. Where that does not occur, there is left a sensation of emptiness, of existing without being. > > > > This is the birthplace of aloneness, where we feel alone in a crowd or with loved ones. The hustle and bustle continues all around you as you tick-tock the time away performing necessary tasks; all within an atmosphere of alone/empty/worthless. > > > > I found a ladder to climb out of that pit and it came in the form of the `observing self'. I cannot say that I feel whole but no longer do I persistently feel like I'm invisible, a ghost, a shadow or to be without any substance, soul. > > > > I learnt about more functional ways of receiving messages from others and more workable ways of responding. The world/society began to respond differently to me. I launched into a process of engagement with observing non-judgementally and as I stood looking again and again, I began to see myself. Initially it was like an image in a mirror, seeming real but feeling disjointed and abstract, still an illusion (be it having the appearance of looking real). I continued observing and noticed that I was still the same me regardless of the response of others. I began to feel a fullness, kind of and ability to breathe despite the weight on my chest. > > > > There were numerous exercises that I engaged with many times. More recently I have been thinking about a new one where I imagine my physical outline on a white board and it has my name written in it. I move back from the board and mindfully observe the substance less form. I feel myself sitting there physically, organic and full of sensation. I begin to see the difference between the observer and what is being seen/experienced. > > > > ************* > > > > It would be great to hear how others have worked with the 'observing self', I'm still travelling with this one. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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