Re: Mindfully Bypassing Feeling, Contacting Prior Insight

March 5, 2012

Thanks Rato,This is really wonderful and rings true. It reminds me of the concept of the " disease " in 12-step recovery programs in which people say things like, " while you are sober, your disease is out there doing pushups. " or " the disease will speak to you in your own voice, " " the disease wants to get you alone so it can kill you, " etc.

Great to be reminded that this is just as true of other beliefs and feeling states. Jim

***This is a new version of the previous essay I posted on " Faith. " In response to feedback, I have taken that word out. Thanks to all who had comments, and please share any new comments you might have.***

" Are sense and feelings suitable to judge of the dispensations and designs of God by? Can their testimony be safely relied on? Is it safe to argue thus: `If God had any love for my soul, I should feel it now, as well as in former times; but I cannot feel it, therefore it is gone?' May you not as well conclude, when the sun is invisible to you, that it has ceased to exist? "

— Rev. Flavel, 1627 - 1691

Abstract: When our feelings are distorted by psychological forces such as depression and infatuation, and we know this is happening, we often try, through an act of will, to counteract their persuasiveness and believability, render them less compelling. But this doesn't work. To transcend them, we need to understand them from a higher level, as unreliable outgrowths of a specific state of mind, rather than as signposts to reality. We need to expect them to be persuasive and believable, let them be such, and yet proceed to not believe them even despite. We need to bypass them, dismiss them in favor of our prior, more reliable insights, those realized during periods in which we were not under their delusive grasp.

When I was depressed, I would experience certain intense emotions. These emotions would paint a somber, tragic picture of my life. They would tell me that at my core I was weak, needy, pathetic, inferior, alone, unlike everyone else. They would remind me of the optimistic hopes and dreams that I had as a child, and emphasize how ashamed that child would have been if someone had shown him how his life would eventually turn out: the sad disappointment that he would eventually become. I had let myself down.In the wiser, more rational parts of my being, I knew that these emotions were just the dramatic delusions of a depressed mind. But they felt real. Because they felt real, they would break me down.I tried to reason with the emotions— " C'mon, you have no reason to believe these things about yourself " —but that rarely worked. The emotions felt too true not to believe. Ironically, my effort to argue them away, to stop them from feeling so true and justified, would aggravate them, make them more intense. I would end up in an exhausting and counterproductive struggle with my own mind, a struggle that I would consistently lose.The depression would get worse when I was under stress or deprived of sleep. One day, during a period of heavy stress at work, and after a particularly unpleasant episode of insomnia, I came to the following realization: " I know, in the calmer parts of my mind, where I am wiser and more rational, that these emotions are just symptoms of a temporary state of mind. The neurochemicals in my brain are firing them off not because they are true, or because they reflect on me, but because I'm stressed out. I got no sleep last night. As a result, my mind is extremely sensitive, prone to charged emotional reactions. " " The problem is that even though I know this, I can't seem to make the emotions stop feeling so true. I can't seem to weaken or undo their persuasiveness and believability. They have me sold, hook line and sinker. " Ultimately, I concluded that there was nothing I could really do about the emotions. They were there, they were going to continue to arise, and when they did, they were going to feel incredibly true and right. So I took a different approach. I gave up on the attempt to change how they felt. I gave up on the effort to counteract their allure, their persuasiveness, their believability. I started to expect them to feel alluring, persuasive, believable—that was part of the trick, how they operated. This expectation reframed my understanding of them. They lost their ability to convince me, even as they continued to feel convincing. It was as if my mind, given its past experiences, was able to get a few steps ahead of them, and take them out of the circuit through which they would otherwise drive my beliefs.I remembered the many times that I had felt the emotions and bought into them, only to realize, after the depressed state of mind had lifted, that I had been sucked into a delusion. " Wow, where did that come from? " I embraced what I had seen so clearly in previous undeluded states of mind: that I was neither good nor bad, a success nor a failure, but just a person struggling with circumstances, doing what anyone else in my shoes would do. I contacted this insight and went with it, even as the emotions themselves continued to bubble up. Rather than fight to neuter the emotions, I let them continue to be alluring, persuasive, believable. I stepped back and raised my awareness to a level at which I could understand their allure, persuasiveness and believability in a different light, a level at which I could gently dismiss them even as they continued to feel that way to me.Surprisingly, in response to this approach, the emotions gradually lost their intensity. I was able to see past them and confidently move on.What I employed was a type of mindfulness, a way to transcend the mind's present delusions by accessing its prior insights. In the piece that follows, I am going to discuss and clarify this form of mindfulness, and hopefully give the reader tools to put it into practice.Mindfully Bypassing Feeling, Contacting Prior InsightNormally, when we believe something, some thought, we believe it because our feelings tell us that it is true. It feels true. We follow that feeling. The problem is that our feelings are often distorted, warped by the many variants of mental delusion: depression, infatuation, anxiety, the list goes on.When we realize that our feelings are distorted, what do we instinctively try to do? We try to " fix " them. We argue with them, plead with them, suppress them, try not to feel them, try to feel other more palatable feelings in their place. But this approach does not work. It rattles the mind and leaves the feelings that much more entrenched.When our belief system operates on their terms, consults them for guidance, direction, they always win. They always suck us in. What we need to do, then, is bypass them, short-circuit them, take them out of the process through which they govern our beliefs. They are, after all, broken aspects of our mental machinery.Now, this does not mean that we need to change how they feel. Again, we can't change how they feel. Regardless of what we try to do with them, they will always feel alluring, persuasive, believable to us. What we need to do is process the way they feel—process their allure, persuasiveness and believability—in a different light. We need to expect them to feel alluring, persuasive and belieavable. We need to " chalk up " that quality to its cause: the delusion. Then, we can dismiss it.Instead of embracing their messages, we need to embrace what we know in the wiser, more rational parts of our minds. We need to contact the insights that we've gained by going through the delusions and then having them lift, seeing after the fact that they were just delusions. In a type of leap, we need to go with those insights, without demanding that our feelings confirm them.Consider the example of a person that experiences bouts of depression followed by periods of mental normalcy. The person cycles through the following states of mind:

(a) Normal: emotions calm, senses clear.

(aa) Depression hits: experiences tragic, judgment-laden, guilt-ridden, self-persecutional emotions. View of world and view of self painfully distorted.

( Depression lifts: emotions calm, senses regained, clarity and insight emerge, " What was that all about? "

(bb) Depression returns: experiences tragic, judgment-laden, guilt-ridden, self-persecutional emotions. View of world and view of self painfully distorted by emotions.

(cc) Depression returns: experience tragic, judgment-laden, guilt-ridden, self-persecutional emotions. View of world and view of self painfully distorted by emotions.

The question is, what should a person in (cc) do? She can't fight the emotions. They are too powerful. Regardless of her efforts, they will continue to feel persuasive and believable to her when she considers them. What she needs to do is shift the way that she sees them. She needs to see them as feelings, mental events, outgrowths of a depressed state of mind. She needs to expect them to feel persuasive and believable precisely because of what they are. She needs to " chalk them up " to their cause, and then dismiss them. In their place, she needs to recall the prior insights that she gained in ( and ©, where she was able to see the depression lift, the lie exposed as such. She needs to go with those prior insights, without demanding confirmation from her presently distorted state of mind. " I know these feelings are just delusions. I was able to clearly see that fact when I was not under the throes of this mess. So that's what I'm going to go with, I'm going to go with that prior knowledge, even though right now the feelings feel so incredibly compelling to me, and even as I relax on them and allow them to feel that way. Moving on…. " This shift is very difficult to clearly describe, and so if it confuses you, don't worry. It confuses most people. Rather than try hard to put it into practice in your life right now, just let it be a fuzzy idea, something that may eventually blossom into a deeper realization.Two ConditionsThe approach described above works particularly well when the following two conditions are met:

(1) Basis – obviously, there has to be a prior insight. To use the example of depression, you've been through it before, you've seen it and been fooled by it many times. It is for that very reason that you are able to contact your prior insights and avoid being fooled again.

But if there are no prior insights, if you are someone experiencing depression for the first time, then there is nothing for you to contact. Your world has suddenly shifted, but you don't have the experience to know that it's all in your mind. Thus, you will not be able to make much use of this approach.

(2) Subjective with No Real-World Impact – the approach is especially powerful when applied to something that is subjective and that has no real-world impact. To again use the example of depression, the claims that the depression makes—that you are pathetic, inferior, worthless, hopeless, whatever—are subjective value judgments. They are opinions, not facts, and therefore they cannot be true in the literal sense. Whether they are taken to be true has no impact on any aspect of reality. The only thing that is impacted is how you feel.

The approach works best with things that are subjective and that lack a real-world impact because the mind doesn't have as much reason to doubt them and worry about them. If you try to contact prior insights with respect to issues that have a real-world impact, you could be wrong. Your mind will recognize this risk and may express doubts. If you are wrong, it will matter, and so your mind will stay on the issue.

But if you are working with something about which you can't be wrong, something that is subjective and that doesn't impact anything, your mind has no reason to worry. You can set aside the worries, let them go, because they have no way to come back and haunt you. The issue is entirely mental.

Depression, and its close cousin romantic infatuation, where a person gets caught up in grand negative delusions about himself, or grand positive delusions about another person, meet these conditions perfectly. That is why the approach works very well as a way to transcend them. The approach also works for anxiety and OCD, but not as well, because the mind will always come back and ask " What if you're wrong, what if you're missing something? " In the case of depression and infatuation, you can't be wrong, and that simplifies things significantly.Summary

To summarize, if you are suffering from depression (or infatuation, or anxiety, or some other form of mental delusion), and you are experiencing the associated feelings of shame and persecution, try this. See if you can recollect on and follow your prior insight, the realization that that these feelings are just feelings, just outgrowths of a depressed state of mind, not truth or reality. See if you can take that approach even as you relax on the feelings and let them continue to feel persuasive to you. See if you can understand and anticipate their persuasive aspect, " chalk it up " to its cause, without trying to challenge or change it. You may not be able to, and in that cases, other approaches may be more helpful. But if you can, you may find that the feelings lose their ability to dominate and oppress you, and that you are able to rise above them.

March 8, 2012

Well sure, using ACT terms, fusion is fusion and the mind will come up with lots

of ways to pretend, avoid -- take me away from what matters most. I love that

saying, btw..and funny, used to believe that saying as more fodder you were out

to get me, make me afraid, that you wanted me to relapse by keeping me afraid.

And turns out That WAS my disease talking, that belief and being convinced the

saying itself was something I needed to debate about!

>

> > **

> >

> > ***This is a new version of the previous essay I posted on " Faith. " In

> > response to feedback, I have taken that word out. Thanks to all who had

> > comments, and please share any new comments you might have.***

> >

> > " Are sense and feelings suitable to judge of the dispensations and designs

> > of God by? Can their testimony be safely relied on? Is it safe to argue

> > thus: `If God had any love for my soul, I should feel it now, as well as in

> > former times; but I cannot feel it, therefore it is gone?' May you not as

> > well conclude, when the sun is invisible to you, that it has ceased to

> > exist? "

> > — *Rev. Flavel*, 1627 - 1691

> >

> > *Abstract*: When our feelings are distorted by psychological forces

> > such as depression and infatuation, and we know this is happening, we often

> > try, through an act of will, to counteract their persuasiveness and

> > believability, render them less compelling. But this doesn't work. To

> > transcend them, we need to understand them from a higher level, as

> > unreliable outgrowths of a specific state of mind, rather than as signposts

> > to reality. We need to expect them to be persuasive and believable, let

> > them be such, and yet proceed to not believe them even despite. We need to

> > bypass them, dismiss them in favor of our prior, more reliable insights,

> > those realized during periods in which we were not under their delusive

> > grasp.

> >

> > When I was depressed, I would experience certain intense emotions. These

> > emotions would paint a somber, tragic picture of my life. They would tell

> > me that at my core I was weak, needy, pathetic, inferior, alone, unlike

> > everyone else. They would remind me of the optimistic hopes and dreams

> > that I had as a child, and emphasize how ashamed that child would have been

> > if someone had shown him how his life would eventually turn out: the sad

> > disappointment that he would eventually become. I had let myself down.

> >

> > In the wiser, more rational parts of my being, I knew that these emotions

> > were just the dramatic delusions of a depressed mind. But they *felt*real.

Because they felt real, they would break me down.

> >

> > I tried to reason with the emotions— " C'mon, you have no reason to believe

> > these things about yourself " —but that rarely worked. The emotions felt too

> > true not to believe. Ironically, my effort to argue them away, to stop

> > them from feeling so true and justified, would aggravate them, make them

> > more intense. I would end up in an exhausting and counterproductive

> > struggle with my own mind, a struggle that I would consistently lose.

> >

> > The depression would get worse when I was under stress or deprived of

> > sleep. One day, during a period of heavy stress at work, and after a

> > particularly unpleasant episode of insomnia, I came to the following

> > realization:

> >

> > " I know, in the calmer parts of my mind, where I am wiser and more

> > rational, that these emotions are just symptoms of a temporary state of

> > mind. The neurochemicals in my brain are firing them off not because they

> > are true, or because they reflect on me, but because I'm stressed out. I

> > got no sleep last night. As a result, my mind is extremely sensitive,

> > prone to charged emotional reactions. "

> >

> > " The problem is that even though I know this, I can't seem to make the

> > emotions stop feeling so true. I can't seem to weaken or undo their

> > persuasiveness and believability. They have me sold, hook line and sinker. "

> >

> > Ultimately, I concluded that there was nothing I could really do about the

> > emotions. They were there, they were going to continue to arise, and when

> > they did, they were going to feel incredibly true and right. So I took a

> > different approach. I gave up on the attempt to change how they felt. I

> > gave up on the effort to counteract their allure, their persuasiveness,

> > their believability. I started to *expect* them to feel alluring,

> > persuasive, believable—that was part of the trick, how they operated. This

> > expectation reframed my understanding of them. They lost their ability to

> > convince me, even as they continued to feel convincing. It was as if my

> > mind, given its past experiences, was able to get a few steps ahead of

> > them, and take them out of the circuit through which they would otherwise

> > drive my beliefs.

> >

> > I remembered the many times that I had felt the emotions and bought into

> > them, only to realize, after the depressed state of mind had lifted, that I

> > had been sucked into a delusion. " Wow, where did that come from? " I

> > embraced what I had seen so clearly in previous undeluded states of mind:

> > that I was neither good nor bad, a success nor a failure, but just a person

> > struggling with circumstances, doing what anyone else in my shoes would

> > do. I contacted this insight and went with it, even as the emotions

> > themselves continued to bubble up. Rather than fight to neuter the

> > emotions, I let them continue to be alluring, persuasive, believable. I

> > stepped back and raised my awareness to a level at which I could understand

> > their allure, persuasiveness and believability in a different light, a

> > level at which I could gently dismiss them even as they continued to feel

> > that way to me.

> >

> > Surprisingly, in response to this approach, the emotions gradually lost

> > their intensity. I was able to see past them and confidently move on.

> >

> > What I employed was a type of mindfulness, a way to transcend the mind's

> > present delusions by accessing its prior insights. In the piece that

> > follows, I am going to discuss and clarify this form of mindfulness, and

> > hopefully give the reader tools to put it into practice.

> > *

> > *Mindfully Bypassing Feeling, Contacting Prior Insight*

> >

> > Normally, when we believe something, some thought, we believe it because

> > our feelings tell us that it is true. It *feels* true. We follow that

> > feeling. The problem is that our feelings are often distorted, warped by

> > the many variants of mental delusion: depression, infatuation, anxiety, the

> > list goes on.

> >

> > When we realize that our feelings are distorted, what do we instinctively

> > try to do? We try to " fix " them. We argue with them, plead with them,

> > suppress them, try *not* to feel them, try to feel other more palatable

> > feelings in their place. But this approach does not work. It rattles the

> > mind and leaves the feelings that much more entrenched.

> >

> > When our belief system operates on their terms, consults them for

> > guidance, direction, they always win. They always suck us in. What we

> > need to do, then, is bypass them, short-circuit them, take them out of the

> > process through which they govern our beliefs. They are, after all, broken

> > aspects of our mental machinery.

> >

> > Now, this does not mean that we need to change how they feel. Again, we *

> > can't* change how they feel. Regardless of what we try to do with them,

> > they will always feel alluring, persuasive, believable to us. What we need

> > to do is process the way they feel—process their allure, persuasiveness and

> > believability—in a different light. We need to *expect* them to feel

> > alluring, persuasive and belieavable. We need to " chalk up " that quality

> > to its cause: the delusion. Then, we can dismiss it.

> >

> > Instead of embracing their messages, we need to embrace what we know in

> > the wiser, more rational parts of our minds. We need to contact the

> > insights that we've gained by going through the delusions and then having

> > them lift, seeing after the fact that they were *just* delusions. In a

> > type of leap, we need to go with those insights, without demanding that our

> > feelings confirm them.

> >

> > Consider the example of a person that experiences bouts of depression

> > followed by periods of mental normalcy. The person cycles through the

> > following states of mind:

> >

> > (a) Normal: emotions calm, senses clear.

> >

> > (aa) Depression hits: experiences tragic, judgment-laden, guilt-ridden,

> > self-persecutional emotions. View of world and view of self painfully

> > distorted.

> >

> > ( Depression lifts: emotions calm, senses regained, clarity and insight

> > emerge, " What was that all about? "

> >

> > (bb) Depression returns: experiences tragic, judgment-laden, guilt-ridden,

> > self-persecutional emotions. View of world and view of self painfully

> > distorted by emotions.

> >

> > © Depression lifts: emotions calm, senses regained, clarity and insight

> > emerge, what was that all about?

> >

> > (cc) Depression returns: experience tragic, judgment-laden, guilt-ridden,

> > self-persecutional emotions. View of world and view of self painfully

> > distorted by emotions.

> >

> > The question is, what should a person in (cc) do? She can't fight the

> > emotions. They are too powerful. Regardless of her efforts, they will

> > continue to feel persuasive and believable to her when she considers them.

> > What she needs to do is shift the way that she sees them. She needs to see

> > them as feelings, mental events, outgrowths of a depressed state of mind.

> > She needs to *expect* them to feel persuasive and believable precisely

> > because of what they are. She needs to " chalk them up " to their cause, and

> > then dismiss them. In their place, she needs to recall the prior insights

> > that she gained in ( and ©, where she was able to see the depression

> > lift, the lie exposed as such. She needs to go with those prior insights,

> > without demanding confirmation from her presently distorted state of mind.

> >

> > " I know these feelings are just delusions. I was able to clearly see that

> > fact when I was not under the throes of this mess. So that's what I'm

> > going to go with, I'm going to go with that prior knowledge, *even

though*right now the feelings feel so incredibly compelling to me, and

> > *even as* I relax on them and allow them to feel that way. Moving on…. "

> >

> > This shift is very difficult to clearly describe, and so if it confuses

> > you, don't worry. It confuses *most* people. Rather than try hard to

> > put it into practice in your life right now, just let it be a fuzzy idea,

> > something that may eventually blossom into a deeper realization.

> >

> > *

> >

> > *Two Conditions*

> >

> > The approach described above works particularly well when the following

> > two conditions are met:

> >

> > (1) *Basis* – obviously, there has to be a prior insight. To use the

> > example of depression, you've been through it before, you've seen it and

> > been fooled by it many times. It is for that very reason that you are able

> > to contact your prior insights and avoid being fooled again.

> >

> > But if there are no prior insights, if you are someone experiencing

> > depression for the first time, then there is nothing for you to contact.

> > Your world has suddenly shifted, but you don't have the experience to know

> > that it's all in your mind. Thus, you will not be able to make much use of

> > this approach.

> >

> > (2) *Subjective with No Real-World Impact* – the approach is especially

> > powerful when applied to something that is subjective and that has no

> > real-world impact. To again use the example of depression, the claims that

> > the depression makes—that you are pathetic, inferior, worthless, hopeless,

> > whatever—are subjective value judgments. They are opinions, not facts, and

> > therefore they *cannot be true* in the literal sense. Whether they are

> > taken to be true has no impact on any aspect of reality. The only thing

> > that is impacted is how you feel.

> >

> > The approach works best with things that are subjective and that lack a

> > real-world impact because the mind doesn't have as much reason to doubt

> > them and worry about them. If you try to contact prior insights with

> > respect to issues that have a real-world impact, you could be wrong. Your

> > mind will recognize this risk and may express doubts. If you are wrong, it

> > will matter, and so your mind will stay on the issue.

> >

> > But if you are working with something about which you can't be wrong,

> > something that is subjective and that doesn't impact anything, your mind

> > has no reason to worry. You can set aside the worries, let them go,

> > because they have no way to come back and haunt you. The issue is entirely

> > mental.

> >

> > Depression, and its close cousin romantic infatuation, where a person gets

> > caught up in grand negative delusions about himself, or grand positive

> > delusions about another person, meet these conditions perfectly. That is

> > why the approach works very well as a way to transcend them. The approach

> > also works for anxiety and OCD, but not as well, because the mind will

> > always come back and ask " What if you're wrong, what if you're missing

> > something? " In the case of depression and infatuation, you *can't* be

> > wrong, and that simplifies things significantly.

> >

> > *

> >

> > *Summary*

> >

> > To summarize, if you are suffering from depression (or infatuation, or

> > anxiety, or some other form of mental delusion), and you are experiencing

> > the associated feelings of shame and persecution, try this. See if you can

> > recollect on and follow your prior insight, the realization that that these

> > feelings are just feelings, just outgrowths of a depressed state of mind,

> > not truth or reality. See if you can take that approach *even as* you

> > relax on the feelings and let them continue to feel persuasive to you. See

> > if you can understand and anticipate their persuasive aspect, " chalk it up "

> > to its cause, without trying to challenge or change it. You may not be

> > able to, and in that cases, other approaches may be more helpful. But if

> > you can, you may find that the feelings lose their ability to dominate and

> > oppress you, and that you are able to rise above them.

> >

>

March 8, 2012

BTW, have not heard anyone say the disease wants to get me alone so it will kill

me. I have heard the disease wants me to believe I can only do it alone. And

hear lots of encouragement to create alone time in a productive healing

way--quiet time: prayer, journaling, meditation, breathing.

> >

> > > **

> > >

> > > ***This is a new version of the previous essay I posted on " Faith. " In

> > > response to feedback, I have taken that word out. Thanks to all who had

> > > comments, and please share any new comments you might have.***

> > >

> > > " Are sense and feelings suitable to judge of the dispensations and designs

> > > of God by? Can their testimony be safely relied on? Is it safe to argue

> > > thus: `If God had any love for my soul, I should feel it now, as well as

in

> > > former times; but I cannot feel it, therefore it is gone?' May you not as

> > > well conclude, when the sun is invisible to you, that it has ceased to

> > > exist? "

> > > — *Rev. Flavel*, 1627 - 1691

> > >

> > > *Abstract*: When our feelings are distorted by psychological forces

> > > such as depression and infatuation, and we know this is happening, we

often

> > > try, through an act of will, to counteract their persuasiveness and

> > > believability, render them less compelling. But this doesn't work. To

> > > transcend them, we need to understand them from a higher level, as

> > > unreliable outgrowths of a specific state of mind, rather than as

signposts

> > > to reality. We need to expect them to be persuasive and believable, let

> > > them be such, and yet proceed to not believe them even despite. We need

to

> > > bypass them, dismiss them in favor of our prior, more reliable insights,

> > > those realized during periods in which we were not under their delusive

> > > grasp.

> > >

> > > When I was depressed, I would experience certain intense emotions. These

> > > emotions would paint a somber, tragic picture of my life. They would tell

> > > me that at my core I was weak, needy, pathetic, inferior, alone, unlike

> > > everyone else. They would remind me of the optimistic hopes and dreams

> > > that I had as a child, and emphasize how ashamed that child would have

been

> > > if someone had shown him how his life would eventually turn out: the sad

> > > disappointment that he would eventually become. I had let myself down.

> > >

> > > In the wiser, more rational parts of my being, I knew that these emotions

> > > were just the dramatic delusions of a depressed mind. But they

*felt*real. Because they felt real, they would break me down.

> > >

> > > I tried to reason with the emotions— " C'mon, you have no reason to believe

> > > these things about yourself " —but that rarely worked. The emotions felt

too

> > > true not to believe. Ironically, my effort to argue them away, to stop

> > > them from feeling so true and justified, would aggravate them, make them

> > > more intense. I would end up in an exhausting and counterproductive

> > > struggle with my own mind, a struggle that I would consistently lose.

> > >

> > > The depression would get worse when I was under stress or deprived of

> > > sleep. One day, during a period of heavy stress at work, and after a

> > > particularly unpleasant episode of insomnia, I came to the following

> > > realization:

> > >

> > > " I know, in the calmer parts of my mind, where I am wiser and more

> > > rational, that these emotions are just symptoms of a temporary state of

> > > mind. The neurochemicals in my brain are firing them off not because they

> > > are true, or because they reflect on me, but because I'm stressed out. I

> > > got no sleep last night. As a result, my mind is extremely sensitive,

> > > prone to charged emotional reactions. "

> > >

> > > " The problem is that even though I know this, I can't seem to make the

> > > emotions stop feeling so true. I can't seem to weaken or undo their

> > > persuasiveness and believability. They have me sold, hook line and

sinker. "

> > >

> > > Ultimately, I concluded that there was nothing I could really do about the

> > > emotions. They were there, they were going to continue to arise, and when

> > > they did, they were going to feel incredibly true and right. So I took a

> > > different approach. I gave up on the attempt to change how they felt. I

> > > gave up on the effort to counteract their allure, their persuasiveness,

> > > their believability. I started to *expect* them to feel alluring,

> > > persuasive, believable—that was part of the trick, how they operated.

This

> > > expectation reframed my understanding of them. They lost their ability to

> > > convince me, even as they continued to feel convincing. It was as if my

> > > mind, given its past experiences, was able to get a few steps ahead of

> > > them, and take them out of the circuit through which they would otherwise

> > > drive my beliefs.

> > >

> > > I remembered the many times that I had felt the emotions and bought into

> > > them, only to realize, after the depressed state of mind had lifted, that

I

> > > had been sucked into a delusion. " Wow, where did that come from? " I

> > > embraced what I had seen so clearly in previous undeluded states of mind:

> > > that I was neither good nor bad, a success nor a failure, but just a

person

> > > struggling with circumstances, doing what anyone else in my shoes would

> > > do. I contacted this insight and went with it, even as the emotions

> > > themselves continued to bubble up. Rather than fight to neuter the

> > > emotions, I let them continue to be alluring, persuasive, believable. I

> > > stepped back and raised my awareness to a level at which I could

understand

> > > their allure, persuasiveness and believability in a different light, a

> > > level at which I could gently dismiss them even as they continued to feel

> > > that way to me.

> > >

> > > Surprisingly, in response to this approach, the emotions gradually lost

> > > their intensity. I was able to see past them and confidently move on.

> > >

> > > What I employed was a type of mindfulness, a way to transcend the mind's

> > > present delusions by accessing its prior insights. In the piece that

> > > follows, I am going to discuss and clarify this form of mindfulness, and

> > > hopefully give the reader tools to put it into practice.

> > > *

> > > *Mindfully Bypassing Feeling, Contacting Prior Insight*

> > >

> > > Normally, when we believe something, some thought, we believe it because

> > > our feelings tell us that it is true. It *feels* true. We follow that

> > > feeling. The problem is that our feelings are often distorted, warped by

> > > the many variants of mental delusion: depression, infatuation, anxiety,

the

> > > list goes on.

> > >

> > > When we realize that our feelings are distorted, what do we instinctively

> > > try to do? We try to " fix " them. We argue with them, plead with them,

> > > suppress them, try *not* to feel them, try to feel other more palatable

> > > feelings in their place. But this approach does not work. It rattles the

> > > mind and leaves the feelings that much more entrenched.

> > >

> > > When our belief system operates on their terms, consults them for

> > > guidance, direction, they always win. They always suck us in. What we

> > > need to do, then, is bypass them, short-circuit them, take them out of the

> > > process through which they govern our beliefs. They are, after all,

broken

> > > aspects of our mental machinery.

> > >

> > > Now, this does not mean that we need to change how they feel. Again, we *

> > > can't* change how they feel. Regardless of what we try to do with them,

> > > they will always feel alluring, persuasive, believable to us. What we

need

> > > to do is process the way they feel—process their allure, persuasiveness

and

> > > believability—in a different light. We need to *expect* them to feel

> > > alluring, persuasive and belieavable. We need to " chalk up " that quality

> > > to its cause: the delusion. Then, we can dismiss it.

> > >

> > > Instead of embracing their messages, we need to embrace what we know in

> > > the wiser, more rational parts of our minds. We need to contact the

> > > insights that we've gained by going through the delusions and then having

> > > them lift, seeing after the fact that they were *just* delusions. In a

> > > type of leap, we need to go with those insights, without demanding that

our

> > > feelings confirm them.

> > >

> > > Consider the example of a person that experiences bouts of depression

> > > followed by periods of mental normalcy. The person cycles through the

> > > following states of mind:

> > >

> > > (a) Normal: emotions calm, senses clear.

> > >

> > > (aa) Depression hits: experiences tragic, judgment-laden, guilt-ridden,

> > > self-persecutional emotions. View of world and view of self painfully

> > > distorted.

> > >

> > > ( Depression lifts: emotions calm, senses regained, clarity and insight

> > > emerge, " What was that all about? "

> > >

> > > (bb) Depression returns: experiences tragic, judgment-laden, guilt-ridden,

> > > self-persecutional emotions. View of world and view of self painfully

> > > distorted by emotions.

> > >

> > > © Depression lifts: emotions calm, senses regained, clarity and insight

> > > emerge, what was that all about?

> > >

> > > (cc) Depression returns: experience tragic, judgment-laden, guilt-ridden,

> > > self-persecutional emotions. View of world and view of self painfully

> > > distorted by emotions.

> > >

> > > The question is, what should a person in (cc) do? She can't fight the

> > > emotions. They are too powerful. Regardless of her efforts, they will

> > > continue to feel persuasive and believable to her when she considers them.

> > > What she needs to do is shift the way that she sees them. She needs to

see

> > > them as feelings, mental events, outgrowths of a depressed state of mind.

> > > She needs to *expect* them to feel persuasive and believable precisely

> > > because of what they are. She needs to " chalk them up " to their cause,

and

> > > then dismiss them. In their place, she needs to recall the prior insights

> > > that she gained in ( and ©, where she was able to see the depression

> > > lift, the lie exposed as such. She needs to go with those prior insights,

> > > without demanding confirmation from her presently distorted state of mind.

> > >

> > > " I know these feelings are just delusions. I was able to clearly see that

> > > fact when I was not under the throes of this mess. So that's what I'm

> > > going to go with, I'm going to go with that prior knowledge, *even

though*right now the feelings feel so incredibly compelling to me, and

> > > *even as* I relax on them and allow them to feel that way. Moving on…. "

> > >

> > > This shift is very difficult to clearly describe, and so if it confuses

> > > you, don't worry. It confuses *most* people. Rather than try hard to

> > > put it into practice in your life right now, just let it be a fuzzy idea,

> > > something that may eventually blossom into a deeper realization.

> > >

> > > *

> > >

> > > *Two Conditions*

> > >

> > > The approach described above works particularly well when the following

> > > two conditions are met:

> > >

> > > (1) *Basis* – obviously, there has to be a prior insight. To use the

> > > example of depression, you've been through it before, you've seen it and

> > > been fooled by it many times. It is for that very reason that you are

able

> > > to contact your prior insights and avoid being fooled again.

> > >

> > > But if there are no prior insights, if you are someone experiencing

> > > depression for the first time, then there is nothing for you to contact.

> > > Your world has suddenly shifted, but you don't have the experience to know

> > > that it's all in your mind. Thus, you will not be able to make much use

of

> > > this approach.

> > >

> > > (2) *Subjective with No Real-World Impact* – the approach is especially

> > > powerful when applied to something that is subjective and that has no

> > > real-world impact. To again use the example of depression, the claims

that

> > > the depression makes—that you are pathetic, inferior, worthless, hopeless,

> > > whatever—are subjective value judgments. They are opinions, not facts,

and

> > > therefore they *cannot be true* in the literal sense. Whether they are

> > > taken to be true has no impact on any aspect of reality. The only thing

> > > that is impacted is how you feel.

> > >

> > > The approach works best with things that are subjective and that lack a

> > > real-world impact because the mind doesn't have as much reason to doubt

> > > them and worry about them. If you try to contact prior insights with

> > > respect to issues that have a real-world impact, you could be wrong. Your

> > > mind will recognize this risk and may express doubts. If you are wrong,

it

> > > will matter, and so your mind will stay on the issue.

> > >

> > > But if you are working with something about which you can't be wrong,

> > > something that is subjective and that doesn't impact anything, your mind

> > > has no reason to worry. You can set aside the worries, let them go,

> > > because they have no way to come back and haunt you. The issue is

entirely

> > > mental.

> > >

> > > Depression, and its close cousin romantic infatuation, where a person gets

> > > caught up in grand negative delusions about himself, or grand positive

> > > delusions about another person, meet these conditions perfectly. That is

> > > why the approach works very well as a way to transcend them. The approach

> > > also works for anxiety and OCD, but not as well, because the mind will

> > > always come back and ask " What if you're wrong, what if you're missing

> > > something? " In the case of depression and infatuation, you *can't* be

> > > wrong, and that simplifies things significantly.

> > >

> > > *

> > >

> > > *Summary*

> > >

> > > To summarize, if you are suffering from depression (or infatuation, or

> > > anxiety, or some other form of mental delusion), and you are experiencing

> > > the associated feelings of shame and persecution, try this. See if you

can

> > > recollect on and follow your prior insight, the realization that that

these

> > > feelings are just feelings, just outgrowths of a depressed state of mind,

> > > not truth or reality. See if you can take that approach *even as* you

> > > relax on the feelings and let them continue to feel persuasive to you.

See

> > > if you can understand and anticipate their persuasive aspect, " chalk it

up "

> > > to its cause, without trying to challenge or change it. You may not be

> > > able to, and in that cases, other approaches may be more helpful. But if

> > > you can, you may find that the feelings lose their ability to dominate and

> > > oppress you, and that you are able to rise above them.

> > >

> >

>

March 9, 2012

Again, not sure what " program " you're speaking to (?), but in my 12-Step program

most are quite aware substance us is/was but a symptom of a much larger

problem..that the " ism " was there before and " ism " remains in varying degrees

sans drinking. But it's there without the excessive drama, complication the

destructive substance use tends to ensure.

> > > > >

> > > > > > **

> > > > > >

> > > > > > ***This is a new version of the previous essay I posted on " Faith. "

In

> > > > > > response to feedback, I have taken that word out. Thanks to all who

had

> > > > > > comments, and please share any new comments you might have.***

> > > > > >

> > > > > > " Are sense and feelings suitable to judge of the dispensations and

designs

> > > > > > of God by? Can their testimony be safely relied on? Is it safe to

argue

> > > > > > thus: `If God had any love for my soul, I should feel it now, as

well as in

> > > > > > former times; but I cannot feel it, therefore it is gone?' May you

not as

> > > > > > well conclude, when the sun is invisible to you, that it has ceased

to

> > > > > > exist? "

> > > > > > — *Rev. Flavel*, 1627 - 1691

> > > > > >

> > > > > > *Abstract*: When our feelings are distorted by psychological forces

> > > > > > such as depression and infatuation, and we know this is happening,

we often

> > > > > > try, through an act of will, to counteract their persuasiveness and

> > > > > > believability, render them less compelling. But this doesn't work.

To

> > > > > > transcend them, we need to understand them from a higher level, as

> > > > > > unreliable outgrowths of a specific state of mind, rather than as

signposts

> > > > > > to reality. We need to expect them to be persuasive and believable,

let

> > > > > > them be such, and yet proceed to not believe them even despite. We

need to

> > > > > > bypass them, dismiss them in favor of our prior, more reliable

insights,

> > > > > > those realized during periods in which we were not under their

delusive

> > > > > > grasp.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > When I was depressed, I would experience certain intense emotions.

These

> > > > > > emotions would paint a somber, tragic picture of my life. They would

tell

> > > > > > me that at my core I was weak, needy, pathetic, inferior, alone,

unlike

> > > > > > everyone else. They would remind me of the optimistic hopes and

dreams

> > > > > > that I had as a child, and emphasize how ashamed that child would

have been

> > > > > > if someone had shown him how his life would eventually turn out: the

sad

> > > > > > disappointment that he would eventually become. I had let myself

down.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > In the wiser, more rational parts of my being, I knew that these

emotions

> > > > > > were just the dramatic delusions of a depressed mind. But they

*felt*real. Because they felt real, they would break me down.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I tried to reason with the emotions— " C'mon, you have no reason to

believe

> > > > > > these things about yourself " —but that rarely worked. The emotions

felt too

> > > > > > true not to believe. Ironically, my effort to argue them away, to

stop

> > > > > > them from feeling so true and justified, would aggravate them, make

them

> > > > > > more intense. I would end up in an exhausting and counterproductive

> > > > > > struggle with my own mind, a struggle that I would consistently

lose.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > The depression would get worse when I was under stress or deprived

of

> > > > > > sleep. One day, during a period of heavy stress at work, and after a

> > > > > > particularly unpleasant episode of insomnia, I came to the following

> > > > > > realization:

> > > > > >

> > > > > > " I know, in the calmer parts of my mind, where I am wiser and more

> > > > > > rational, that these emotions are just symptoms of a temporary state

of

> > > > > > mind. The neurochemicals in my brain are firing them off not because

they

> > > > > > are true, or because they reflect on me, but because I'm stressed

out. I

> > > > > > got no sleep last night. As a result, my mind is extremely

sensitive,

> > > > > > prone to charged emotional reactions. "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > " The problem is that even though I know this, I can't seem to make

the

> > > > > > emotions stop feeling so true. I can't seem to weaken or undo their

> > > > > > persuasiveness and believability. They have me sold, hook line and

sinker. "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Ultimately, I concluded that there was nothing I could really do

about the

> > > > > > emotions. They were there, they were going to continue to arise, and

when

> > > > > > they did, they were going to feel incredibly true and right. So I

took a

> > > > > > different approach. I gave up on the attempt to change how they

felt. I

> > > > > > gave up on the effort to counteract their allure, their

persuasiveness,

> > > > > > their believability. I started to *expect* them to feel alluring,

> > > > > > persuasive, believable—that was part of the trick, how they

operated. This

> > > > > > expectation reframed my understanding of them. They lost their

ability to

> > > > > > convince me, even as they continued to feel convincing. It was as if

my

> > > > > > mind, given its past experiences, was able to get a few steps ahead

of

> > > > > > them, and take them out of the circuit through which they would

otherwise

> > > > > > drive my beliefs.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I remembered the many times that I had felt the emotions and bought

into

> > > > > > them, only to realize, after the depressed state of mind had lifted,

that I

> > > > > > had been sucked into a delusion. " Wow, where did that come from? " I

> > > > > > embraced what I had seen so clearly in previous undeluded states of

mind:

> > > > > > that I was neither good nor bad, a success nor a failure, but just a

person

> > > > > > struggling with circumstances, doing what anyone else in my shoes

would

> > > > > > do. I contacted this insight and went with it, even as the emotions

> > > > > > themselves continued to bubble up. Rather than fight to neuter the

> > > > > > emotions, I let them continue to be alluring, persuasive,

believable. I

> > > > > > stepped back and raised my awareness to a level at which I could

understand

> > > > > > their allure, persuasiveness and believability in a different light,

a

> > > > > > level at which I could gently dismiss them even as they continued to

feel

> > > > > > that way to me.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Surprisingly, in response to this approach, the emotions gradually

lost

> > > > > > their intensity. I was able to see past them and confidently move

on.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > What I employed was a type of mindfulness, a way to transcend the

mind's

> > > > > > present delusions by accessing its prior insights. In the piece that

> > > > > > follows, I am going to discuss and clarify this form of mindfulness,

and

> > > > > > hopefully give the reader tools to put it into practice.

> > > > > > *

> > > > > > *Mindfully Bypassing Feeling, Contacting Prior Insight*

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Normally, when we believe something, some thought, we believe it

because

> > > > > > our feelings tell us that it is true. It *feels* true. We follow

that

> > > > > > feeling. The problem is that our feelings are often distorted,

warped by

> > > > > > the many variants of mental delusion: depression, infatuation,

anxiety, the

> > > > > > list goes on.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > When we realize that our feelings are distorted, what do we

instinctively

> > > > > > try to do? We try to " fix " them. We argue with them, plead with

them,

> > > > > > suppress them, try *not* to feel them, try to feel other more

palatable

> > > > > > feelings in their place. But this approach does not work. It rattles

the

> > > > > > mind and leaves the feelings that much more entrenched.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > When our belief system operates on their terms, consults them for

> > > > > > guidance, direction, they always win. They always suck us in. What

we

> > > > > > need to do, then, is bypass them, short-circuit them, take them out

of the

> > > > > > process through which they govern our beliefs. They are, after all,

broken

> > > > > > aspects of our mental machinery.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Now, this does not mean that we need to change how they feel. Again,

we *

> > > > > > can't* change how they feel. Regardless of what we try to do with

them,

> > > > > > they will always feel alluring, persuasive, believable to us. What

we need

> > > > > > to do is process the way they feel—process their allure,

persuasiveness and

> > > > > > believability—in a different light. We need to *expect* them to feel

> > > > > > alluring, persuasive and belieavable. We need to " chalk up " that

quality

> > > > > > to its cause: the delusion. Then, we can dismiss it.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Instead of embracing their messages, we need to embrace what we know

in

> > > > > > the wiser, more rational parts of our minds. We need to contact the

> > > > > > insights that we've gained by going through the delusions and then

having

> > > > > > them lift, seeing after the fact that they were *just* delusions. In

a

> > > > > > type of leap, we need to go with those insights, without demanding

that our

> > > > > > feelings confirm them.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Consider the example of a person that experiences bouts of

depression

> > > > > > followed by periods of mental normalcy. The person cycles through

the

> > > > > > following states of mind:

> > > > > >

> > > > > > (a) Normal: emotions calm, senses clear.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > (aa) Depression hits: experiences tragic, judgment-laden,

guilt-ridden,

> > > > > > self-persecutional emotions. View of world and view of self

painfully

> > > > > > distorted.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > ( Depression lifts: emotions calm, senses regained, clarity and

insight

> > > > > > emerge, " What was that all about? "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > (bb) Depression returns: experiences tragic, judgment-laden,

guilt-ridden,

> > > > > > self-persecutional emotions. View of world and view of self

painfully

> > > > > > distorted by emotions.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > © Depression lifts: emotions calm, senses regained, clarity and

insight

> > > > > > emerge, what was that all about?

> > > > > >

> > > > > > (cc) Depression returns: experience tragic, judgment-laden,

guilt-ridden,

> > > > > > self-persecutional emotions. View of world and view of self

painfully

> > > > > > distorted by emotions.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > The question is, what should a person in (cc) do? She can't fight

the

> > > > > > emotions. They are too powerful. Regardless of her efforts, they

will

> > > > > > continue to feel persuasive and believable to her when she considers

them.

> > > > > > What she needs to do is shift the way that she sees them. She needs

to see

> > > > > > them as feelings, mental events, outgrowths of a depressed state of

mind.

> > > > > > She needs to *expect* them to feel persuasive and believable

precisely

> > > > > > because of what they are. She needs to " chalk them up " to their

cause, and

> > > > > > then dismiss them. In their place, she needs to recall the prior

insights

> > > > > > that she gained in ( and ©, where she was able to see the

depression

> > > > > > lift, the lie exposed as such. She needs to go with those prior

insights,

> > > > > > without demanding confirmation from her presently distorted state of

mind.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > " I know these feelings are just delusions. I was able to clearly see

that

> > > > > > fact when I was not under the throes of this mess. So that's what

I'm

> > > > > > going to go with, I'm going to go with that prior knowledge, *even

though*right now the feelings feel so incredibly compelling to me, and

> > > > > > *even as* I relax on them and allow them to feel that way. Moving

on…. "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > This shift is very difficult to clearly describe, and so if it

confuses

> > > > > > you, don't worry. It confuses *most* people. Rather than try hard to

> > > > > > put it into practice in your life right now, just let it be a fuzzy

idea,

> > > > > > something that may eventually blossom into a deeper realization.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > *

> > > > > >

> > > > > > *Two Conditions*

> > > > > >

> > > > > > The approach described above works particularly well when the

following

> > > > > > two conditions are met:

> > > > > >

> > > > > > (1) *Basis* – obviously, there has to be a prior insight. To use the

> > > > > > example of depression, you've been through it before, you've seen it

and

> > > > > > been fooled by it many times. It is for that very reason that you

are able

> > > > > > to contact your prior insights and avoid being fooled again.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > But if there are no prior insights, if you are someone experiencing

> > > > > > depression for the first time, then there is nothing for you to

contact.

> > > > > > Your world has suddenly shifted, but you don't have the experience

to know

> > > > > > that it's all in your mind. Thus, you will not be able to make much

use of

> > > > > > this approach.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > (2) *Subjective with No Real-World Impact* – the approach is

especially

> > > > > > powerful when applied to something that is subjective and that has

no

> > > > > > real-world impact. To again use the example of depression, the

claims that

> > > > > > the depression makes—that you are pathetic, inferior, worthless,

hopeless,

> > > > > > whatever—are subjective value judgments. They are opinions, not

facts, and

> > > > > > therefore they *cannot be true* in the literal sense. Whether they

are

> > > > > > taken to be true has no impact on any aspect of reality. The only

thing

> > > > > > that is impacted is how you feel.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > The approach works best with things that are subjective and that

lack a

> > > > > > real-world impact because the mind doesn't have as much reason to

doubt

> > > > > > them and worry about them. If you try to contact prior insights with

> > > > > > respect to issues that have a real-world impact, you could be wrong.

Your

> > > > > > mind will recognize this risk and may express doubts. If you are

wrong, it

> > > > > > will matter, and so your mind will stay on the issue.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > But if you are working with something about which you can't be

wrong,

> > > > > > something that is subjective and that doesn't impact anything, your

mind

> > > > > > has no reason to worry. You can set aside the worries, let them go,

> > > > > > because they have no way to come back and haunt you. The issue is

entirely

> > > > > > mental.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Depression, and its close cousin romantic infatuation, where a

person gets

> > > > > > caught up in grand negative delusions about himself, or grand

positive

> > > > > > delusions about another person, meet these conditions perfectly.

That is

> > > > > > why the approach works very well as a way to transcend them. The

approach

> > > > > > also works for anxiety and OCD, but not as well, because the mind

will

> > > > > > always come back and ask " What if you're wrong, what if you're

missing

> > > > > > something? " In the case of depression and infatuation, you *can't*

be

> > > > > > wrong, and that simplifies things significantly.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > *

> > > > > >

> > > > > > *Summary*

> > > > > >

> > > > > > To summarize, if you are suffering from depression (or infatuation,

or

> > > > > > anxiety, or some other form of mental delusion), and you are

experiencing

> > > > > > the associated feelings of shame and persecution, try this. See if

you can

> > > > > > recollect on and follow your prior insight, the realization that

that these

> > > > > > feelings are just feelings, just outgrowths of a depressed state of

mind,

> > > > > > not truth or reality. See if you can take that approach *even as*

you

> > > > > > relax on the feelings and let them continue to feel persuasive to

you. See

> > > > > > if you can understand and anticipate their persuasive aspect, " chalk

it up "

> > > > > > to its cause, without trying to challenge or change it. You may not

be

> > > > > > able to, and in that cases, other approaches may be more helpful.

But if

> > > > > > you can, you may find that the feelings lose their ability to

dominate and

> > > > > > oppress you, and that you are able to rise above them.

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

March 9, 2012

Again, not sure what " program " you're speaking to (?), but in my 12-Step program

most are quite aware substance use is/was but a symptom of a much larger

problem..that the " ism " was there before and " ism " remains in varying degrees

sans drinking. But it's there without the excessive drama, complication the

destructive substance use tends to ensure.

> > > > >

> > > > > > **

> > > > > >

> > > > > > ***This is a new version of the previous essay I posted on " Faith. "

In

> > > > > > response to feedback, I have taken that word out. Thanks to all who

had

> > > > > > comments, and please share any new comments you might have.***

> > > > > >

> > > > > > " Are sense and feelings suitable to judge of the dispensations and

designs

> > > > > > of God by? Can their testimony be safely relied on? Is it safe to

argue

> > > > > > thus: `If God had any love for my soul, I should feel it now, as

well as in

> > > > > > former times; but I cannot feel it, therefore it is gone?' May you

not as

> > > > > > well conclude, when the sun is invisible to you, that it has ceased

to

> > > > > > exist? "

> > > > > > — *Rev. Flavel*, 1627 - 1691

> > > > > >

> > > > > > *Abstract*: When our feelings are distorted by psychological forces

> > > > > > such as depression and infatuation, and we know this is happening,

we often

> > > > > > try, through an act of will, to counteract their persuasiveness and

> > > > > > believability, render them less compelling. But this doesn't work.

To

> > > > > > transcend them, we need to understand them from a higher level, as

> > > > > > unreliable outgrowths of a specific state of mind, rather than as

signposts

> > > > > > to reality. We need to expect them to be persuasive and believable,

let

> > > > > > them be such, and yet proceed to not believe them even despite. We

need to

> > > > > > bypass them, dismiss them in favor of our prior, more reliable

insights,

> > > > > > those realized during periods in which we were not under their

delusive

> > > > > > grasp.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > When I was depressed, I would experience certain intense emotions.

These

> > > > > > emotions would paint a somber, tragic picture of my life. They would

tell

> > > > > > me that at my core I was weak, needy, pathetic, inferior, alone,

unlike

> > > > > > everyone else. They would remind me of the optimistic hopes and

dreams

> > > > > > that I had as a child, and emphasize how ashamed that child would

have been

> > > > > > if someone had shown him how his life would eventually turn out: the

sad

> > > > > > disappointment that he would eventually become. I had let myself

down.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > In the wiser, more rational parts of my being, I knew that these

emotions

> > > > > > were just the dramatic delusions of a depressed mind. But they

*felt*real. Because they felt real, they would break me down.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I tried to reason with the emotions— " C'mon, you have no reason to

believe

> > > > > > these things about yourself " —but that rarely worked. The emotions

felt too

> > > > > > true not to believe. Ironically, my effort to argue them away, to

stop

> > > > > > them from feeling so true and justified, would aggravate them, make

them

> > > > > > more intense. I would end up in an exhausting and counterproductive

> > > > > > struggle with my own mind, a struggle that I would consistently

lose.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > The depression would get worse when I was under stress or deprived

of

> > > > > > sleep. One day, during a period of heavy stress at work, and after a

> > > > > > particularly unpleasant episode of insomnia, I came to the following

> > > > > > realization:

> > > > > >

> > > > > > " I know, in the calmer parts of my mind, where I am wiser and more

> > > > > > rational, that these emotions are just symptoms of a temporary state

of

> > > > > > mind. The neurochemicals in my brain are firing them off not because

they

> > > > > > are true, or because they reflect on me, but because I'm stressed

out. I

> > > > > > got no sleep last night. As a result, my mind is extremely

sensitive,

> > > > > > prone to charged emotional reactions. "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > " The problem is that even though I know this, I can't seem to make

the

> > > > > > emotions stop feeling so true. I can't seem to weaken or undo their

> > > > > > persuasiveness and believability. They have me sold, hook line and

sinker. "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Ultimately, I concluded that there was nothing I could really do

about the

> > > > > > emotions. They were there, they were going to continue to arise, and

when

> > > > > > they did, they were going to feel incredibly true and right. So I

took a

> > > > > > different approach. I gave up on the attempt to change how they

felt. I

> > > > > > gave up on the effort to counteract their allure, their

persuasiveness,

> > > > > > their believability. I started to *expect* them to feel alluring,

> > > > > > persuasive, believable—that was part of the trick, how they

operated. This

> > > > > > expectation reframed my understanding of them. They lost their

ability to

> > > > > > convince me, even as they continued to feel convincing. It was as if

my

> > > > > > mind, given its past experiences, was able to get a few steps ahead

of

> > > > > > them, and take them out of the circuit through which they would

otherwise

> > > > > > drive my beliefs.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I remembered the many times that I had felt the emotions and bought

into

> > > > > > them, only to realize, after the depressed state of mind had lifted,

that I

> > > > > > had been sucked into a delusion. " Wow, where did that come from? " I

> > > > > > embraced what I had seen so clearly in previous undeluded states of

mind:

> > > > > > that I was neither good nor bad, a success nor a failure, but just a

person

> > > > > > struggling with circumstances, doing what anyone else in my shoes

would

> > > > > > do. I contacted this insight and went with it, even as the emotions

> > > > > > themselves continued to bubble up. Rather than fight to neuter the

> > > > > > emotions, I let them continue to be alluring, persuasive,

believable. I

> > > > > > stepped back and raised my awareness to a level at which I could

understand

> > > > > > their allure, persuasiveness and believability in a different light,

a

> > > > > > level at which I could gently dismiss them even as they continued to

feel

> > > > > > that way to me.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Surprisingly, in response to this approach, the emotions gradually

lost

> > > > > > their intensity. I was able to see past them and confidently move

on.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > What I employed was a type of mindfulness, a way to transcend the

mind's

> > > > > > present delusions by accessing its prior insights. In the piece that

> > > > > > follows, I am going to discuss and clarify this form of mindfulness,

and

> > > > > > hopefully give the reader tools to put it into practice.

> > > > > > *

> > > > > > *Mindfully Bypassing Feeling, Contacting Prior Insight*

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Normally, when we believe something, some thought, we believe it

because

> > > > > > our feelings tell us that it is true. It *feels* true. We follow

that

> > > > > > feeling. The problem is that our feelings are often distorted,

warped by

> > > > > > the many variants of mental delusion: depression, infatuation,

anxiety, the

> > > > > > list goes on.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > When we realize that our feelings are distorted, what do we

instinctively

> > > > > > try to do? We try to " fix " them. We argue with them, plead with

them,

> > > > > > suppress them, try *not* to feel them, try to feel other more

palatable

> > > > > > feelings in their place. But this approach does not work. It rattles

the

> > > > > > mind and leaves the feelings that much more entrenched.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > When our belief system operates on their terms, consults them for

> > > > > > guidance, direction, they always win. They always suck us in. What

we

> > > > > > need to do, then, is bypass them, short-circuit them, take them out

of the

> > > > > > process through which they govern our beliefs. They are, after all,

broken

> > > > > > aspects of our mental machinery.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Now, this does not mean that we need to change how they feel. Again,

we *

> > > > > > can't* change how they feel. Regardless of what we try to do with

them,

> > > > > > they will always feel alluring, persuasive, believable to us. What

we need

> > > > > > to do is process the way they feel—process their allure,

persuasiveness and

> > > > > > believability—in a different light. We need to *expect* them to feel

> > > > > > alluring, persuasive and belieavable. We need to " chalk up " that

quality

> > > > > > to its cause: the delusion. Then, we can dismiss it.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Instead of embracing their messages, we need to embrace what we know

in

> > > > > > the wiser, more rational parts of our minds. We need to contact the

> > > > > > insights that we've gained by going through the delusions and then

having

> > > > > > them lift, seeing after the fact that they were *just* delusions. In

a

> > > > > > type of leap, we need to go with those insights, without demanding

that our

> > > > > > feelings confirm them.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Consider the example of a person that experiences bouts of

depression

> > > > > > followed by periods of mental normalcy. The person cycles through

the

> > > > > > following states of mind:

> > > > > >

> > > > > > (a) Normal: emotions calm, senses clear.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > (aa) Depression hits: experiences tragic, judgment-laden,

guilt-ridden,

> > > > > > self-persecutional emotions. View of world and view of self

painfully

> > > > > > distorted.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > ( Depression lifts: emotions calm, senses regained, clarity and

insight

> > > > > > emerge, " What was that all about? "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > (bb) Depression returns: experiences tragic, judgment-laden,

guilt-ridden,

> > > > > > self-persecutional emotions. View of world and view of self

painfully

> > > > > > distorted by emotions.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > © Depression lifts: emotions calm, senses regained, clarity and

insight

> > > > > > emerge, what was that all about?

> > > > > >

> > > > > > (cc) Depression returns: experience tragic, judgment-laden,

guilt-ridden,

> > > > > > self-persecutional emotions. View of world and view of self

painfully

> > > > > > distorted by emotions.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > The question is, what should a person in (cc) do? She can't fight

the

> > > > > > emotions. They are too powerful. Regardless of her efforts, they

will

> > > > > > continue to feel persuasive and believable to her when she considers

them.

> > > > > > What she needs to do is shift the way that she sees them. She needs

to see

> > > > > > them as feelings, mental events, outgrowths of a depressed state of

mind.

> > > > > > She needs to *expect* them to feel persuasive and believable

precisely

> > > > > > because of what they are. She needs to " chalk them up " to their

cause, and

> > > > > > then dismiss them. In their place, she needs to recall the prior

insights

> > > > > > that she gained in ( and ©, where she was able to see the

depression

> > > > > > lift, the lie exposed as such. She needs to go with those prior

insights,

> > > > > > without demanding confirmation from her presently distorted state of

mind.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > " I know these feelings are just delusions. I was able to clearly see

that

> > > > > > fact when I was not under the throes of this mess. So that's what

I'm

> > > > > > going to go with, I'm going to go with that prior knowledge, *even

though*right now the feelings feel so incredibly compelling to me, and

> > > > > > *even as* I relax on them and allow them to feel that way. Moving

on…. "

> > > > > >

> > > > > > This shift is very difficult to clearly describe, and so if it

confuses

> > > > > > you, don't worry. It confuses *most* people. Rather than try hard to

> > > > > > put it into practice in your life right now, just let it be a fuzzy

idea,

> > > > > > something that may eventually blossom into a deeper realization.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > *

> > > > > >

> > > > > > *Two Conditions*

> > > > > >

> > > > > > The approach described above works particularly well when the

following

> > > > > > two conditions are met:

> > > > > >

> > > > > > (1) *Basis* – obviously, there has to be a prior insight. To use the

> > > > > > example of depression, you've been through it before, you've seen it

and

> > > > > > been fooled by it many times. It is for that very reason that you

are able

> > > > > > to contact your prior insights and avoid being fooled again.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > But if there are no prior insights, if you are someone experiencing

> > > > > > depression for the first time, then there is nothing for you to

contact.

> > > > > > Your world has suddenly shifted, but you don't have the experience

to know

> > > > > > that it's all in your mind. Thus, you will not be able to make much

use of

> > > > > > this approach.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > (2) *Subjective with No Real-World Impact* – the approach is

especially

> > > > > > powerful when applied to something that is subjective and that has

no

> > > > > > real-world impact. To again use the example of depression, the

claims that

> > > > > > the depression makes—that you are pathetic, inferior, worthless,

hopeless,

> > > > > > whatever—are subjective value judgments. They are opinions, not

facts, and

> > > > > > therefore they *cannot be true* in the literal sense. Whether they

are

> > > > > > taken to be true has no impact on any aspect of reality. The only

thing

> > > > > > that is impacted is how you feel.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > The approach works best with things that are subjective and that

lack a

> > > > > > real-world impact because the mind doesn't have as much reason to

doubt

> > > > > > them and worry about them. If you try to contact prior insights with

> > > > > > respect to issues that have a real-world impact, you could be wrong.

Your

> > > > > > mind will recognize this risk and may express doubts. If you are

wrong, it

> > > > > > will matter, and so your mind will stay on the issue.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > But if you are working with something about which you can't be

wrong,

> > > > > > something that is subjective and that doesn't impact anything, your

mind

> > > > > > has no reason to worry. You can set aside the worries, let them go,

> > > > > > because they have no way to come back and haunt you. The issue is

entirely

> > > > > > mental.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > Depression, and its close cousin romantic infatuation, where a

person gets

> > > > > > caught up in grand negative delusions about himself, or grand

positive

> > > > > > delusions about another person, meet these conditions perfectly.

That is

> > > > > > why the approach works very well as a way to transcend them. The

approach

> > > > > > also works for anxiety and OCD, but not as well, because the mind

will

> > > > > > always come back and ask " What if you're wrong, what if you're

missing

> > > > > > something? " In the case of depression and infatuation, you *can't*

be

> > > > > > wrong, and that simplifies things significantly.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > *

> > > > > >

> > > > > > *Summary*

> > > > > >

> > > > > > To summarize, if you are suffering from depression (or infatuation,

or

> > > > > > anxiety, or some other form of mental delusion), and you are

experiencing

> > > > > > the associated feelings of shame and persecution, try this. See if

you can

> > > > > > recollect on and follow your prior insight, the realization that

that these

> > > > > > feelings are just feelings, just outgrowths of a depressed state of

mind,

> > > > > > not truth or reality. See if you can take that approach *even as*

you

> > > > > > relax on the feelings and let them continue to feel persuasive to

you. See

> > > > > > if you can understand and anticipate their persuasive aspect, " chalk

it up "

> > > > > > to its cause, without trying to challenge or change it. You may not

be

> > > > > > able to, and in that cases, other approaches may be more helpful.

But if

> > > > > > you can, you may find that the feelings lose their ability to

dominate and

> > > > > > oppress you, and that you are able to rise above them.

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

March 9, 2012

Oh for sure..good to hear from you !:-)

>

> > I think " get me alone " here doesn't mean quiet contemplation time which, as

you suggest is a good thing. It's about turning your back on your program and

support network until you're isolated and vulnerable.

> >

> > Jim

> >

> > .

> >

>

> I'm with Jim on this. I have always assumed that these admonitions about " my

disease wants to get me alone so it can kill me " as preemptive of the nasty

outcomes of fusion and avoidance--to use ACT language.

>

> Sometimes, when things are said out loud, with a bit of recognizing them as

thoughts perspective changes a bit ( " so the other day, I was alone in my

apartment and my head says to me...one drink? What's the big deal? " ). If someone

were to say that out loud at an AA meeting, they would get a chuckle. Hearing

it, they might chuckle themselves.

>

> Cut yourself off from social support. Spend a bunch of time alone

ruminating/worrying. What happens? We are social creatures and spending a lot of

time cut off is bad medicine. Alone and ruminating/worrying is a formula for bad

outcomes.

>

> Time for meditation, sure. Demonstrably good stuff. Buddhists say so (well,

really, all the great spiritual traditions). AA says so. And, psychological

science says so. As long as people get the distinction between meditation and

rumination:-)

>

> In my most recent book I talk about a lot of great defusion and active life

engagement found in AA: here is a snippet from The Wisdom to Know the Difference

>

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572249285/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8 & tag=mindfort\

wo20 & linkCode=as2 & camp=1789 & creative=9325 & creativeASIN=1572249285

> " There are many other 12-step sayings you might hear in meetings that contain

this admonishment to hold what we think lightly. " You have a thinking problem,

not a drinking problem " points to a tendency to get caught in worry and

rumination and to lose direct contact with your own life. It is, of course,

really a warning against overthinking, not thinking per se. The problem of

fusion is a problem of letting thinking about life substitute for life. In

keeping with the oftentimes self-deprecating humor found around AA, a favorite

saying is, " Don't go into your mind alone; it's not a safe neighborhood, " and

there's this version from Narcotics Anonymous: " An addict alone is in bad

company. " These sayings can be interpreted as negative self-statements, but if

they are held lightly, and in kindness, what they point toward is the human

tendency to become so engaged in analysis and speculation that we lose contact

with the directly experienced world. When you hear a recovering alcoholic,

sitting in a church basement at an AA meeting, say with a smile on his or her

face, " My best thinking got me here, " you are not looking at self-hatred, you

are looking at someone who has learned through trial and error that sometimes

their best thinking on a given day is a great source of amusement on another

day. Sayings like " Don't intellectualize, utilize " are calls to action. Thinking

about recovery is not the same as active recovery. AA is a program of action,

not a program of thinking about action. Ponder, for example, the saying " The

three most dangerous words for an alcoholic—`I've been thinking.' " As with the

other 12-step sayings, even the saying ought to be held lightly. No one, and I

mean no one, with an ounce of sense thinks that you should give up planning and

thinking. But as the Serenity Prayer suggests, recognize the things you cannot

change. And if you find yourself grinding through some thoughts over and over

and over and over, and, yes, over—maybe, just maybe it is time to let go of

thinking for a moment and choose some small act, or series of acts, that serves

your values. As they say in AA, " Do the next right thing. " This is not just AA

folk wisdom; there is a substantial body of scientific evidence that shows that

worry and rumi- nation—a couple of very popular ways to get lost in

thought—produce bad outcomes. And there is also a convincing body of evidence

that suggests that moving your feet and actually doing things (sometimes called

behavioral activation by psychologists) is very good medicine. In closing, on

this little note, consider this AA adage: " In AA you live your way into a new

way of thinking. You do not think your way into a new way of living. "

>

> By the way, for people who do not like 12-step, the pieces of the book that

are about 12-step/AA connections are set in sections separate from the general

text. People can easily read them or not. The main stream of the text is ACT

oriented recovery without AA, but the two streams are crafted to be compatible

and complimentary.

>

> with warm regards,

>

> G.

> 205 Peabody Building

> Psychology Department

> University of Mississippi

> Oxford, MS 38677

>

> ph:

> fax:

>

> academic homepage:

> www.olemiss.edu/working/kwilson/kwilson.htm

>

> also check out

> www.onelifellc.com

> www.mindfulnessfortwo.com

> www.facebook.com/kellygwilson

> www.tastybehaviorism.com

> www.abnormalwootwoot.com

>

March 10, 2012

I don't know how you can responsibly assert AA especially unsuitable for people

who are successful stopping another way. You often sound like you're reading

from a book. Needs of course change over time for everyone. I was terrified

after reading a bunch of hate stuff about AA and so stayed away for years. I

recently stopped on my own for six weeks and it was okay, but not nearly as

fantastic as now going to meetings-- in terms of my spiritual, emotional, social

growth, which have accelerated tenfold as result. And I'm just beginning. Just

as we've been discussing, the meeting is a substantial way to address the " ism "

of the disease. The one of social isolation began to illustrate here,

getting me out of my mind, over-thinking everything. The meeting is like

acceptance, defusion, mindfulness values in flight. We laugh, cry, share our

struggles and triumphs and at the end, the lighter feeling is palpable. Hugs and

phone numbers exchanged. I become known. What a gift. I'm so glad people like

kept the doors open for me all these years.

kind regards,

terry

> > > >

> > > > I think " get me alone " here doesn't mean quiet contemplation time

> > which, as you suggest is a good thing. It's about turning your back on

> > your program and support network until you're isolated and vulnerable.

> > > >

> > > > Jim

> > > >

> > > > .

> > > > <serv.gif>

> > > >

> > > > I'm with Jim on this. I have always assumed that these admonitions

> > about " my disease wants to get me alone so it can kill me " as preemptive

> > of the nasty outcomes of fusion and avoidance--to use ACT language.

> > > >

> > > > Sometimes, when things are said out loud, with a bit of recognizing

> > them as thoughts perspective changes a bit ( " so the other day, I was

> > alone in my apartment and my head says to me...one drink? What's the big

> > deal? " ). If someone were to say that out loud at an AA meeting, they

> > would get a chuckle. Hearing it, they might chuckle themselves.

> > > >

> > > > Cut yourself off from social support. Spend a bunch of time alone

> > ruminating/worrying. What happens? We are social creatures and spending

> > a lot of time cut off is bad medicine. Alone and ruminating/worrying is

> > a formula for bad outcomes.

> > > >

> > > > Time for meditation, sure. Demonstrably good stuff. Buddhists say so

> > (well, really, all the great spiritual traditions). AA says so. And,

> > psychological science says so. As long as people get the distinction

> > between meditation and rumination:-)

> > > >

> > > > In my most recent book I talk about a lot of great defusion and

> > active life engagement found in AA: here is a snippet from The Wisdom to

> > Know the Difference

> > > >

> > http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572249285/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8 & tag=\

> > mindfortwo20 & linkCode=as2 & camp=1789 & creative=9325 & creativeASIN=157224928\

> >

5<http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572249285/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8 & tag=mindfo\

rtwo20 & linkCode=as2 & camp=1789 & creative=9325 & creativeASIN=1572249285>

> >

> > > > " There are many other 12-step sayings you might hear in meetings

> > that contain this admonishment to hold what we think lightly. " You

> > have a thinking problem, not a drinking problem " points to a

> > tendency to get caught in worry and rumination and to lose direct

> > contact with your own life. It is, of course, really a warning against

> > overthinking, not thinking per se. The problem of fusion is a problem of

> > letting thinking about life substitute for life. In keeping with the

> > oftentimes self-deprecating humor found around AA, a favorite saying is,

> > " Don't go into your mind alone; it's not a safe

> > neighborhood, " and there's this version from Narcotics

> > Anonymous: " An addict alone is in bad company. " These sayings

> > can be interpreted as negative self-statements, but if they are held

> > lightly, and in kindness, what they point toward is the human tendency

> > to become so engaged in analysis and speculation that we lose contact

> > with the directly experienced world. When you hear a recovering

> > alcoholic, sitting in a church basement at an AA meeting, say with a

> > smile on his or her face, " My best thinking got me here, " you

> > are not looking at self-hatred, you are looking at someone who has

> > learned through trial and error that sometimes their best thinking on a

> > given day is a great source of amusement on another day. Sayings like

> > " Don't intellectualize, utilize " are calls to action.

> > Thinking about recovery is not the same as active recovery. AA is a

> > program of action, not a program of thinking about action. Ponder, for

> > example, the saying " The three most dangerous words for an

> > alcoholic—`I've been thinking.' " As with the other 12-step

> > sayings, even the saying ought to be held lightly. No one, and I mean no

> > one, with an ounce of sense thinks that you should give up planning and

> > thinking. But as the Serenity Prayer suggests, recognize the things you

> > cannot change. And if you find yourself grinding through some thoughts

> > over and over and over and over, and, yes, over—maybe, just maybe it

> > is time to let go of thinking for a moment and choose some small act, or

> > series of acts, that serves your values. As they say in AA, " Do the

> > next right thing. " This is not just AA folk wisdom; there is a

> > substantial body of scientific evidence that shows that worry and rumi-

> > nation—a couple of very popular ways to get lost in

> > thought—produce bad outcomes. And there is also a convincing body of

> > evidence that suggests that moving your feet and actually doing things

> > (sometimes called behavioral activation by psychologists) is very good

> > medicine. In closing, on this little note, consider this AA adage:

> > " In AA you live your way into a new way of thinking. You do not

> > think your way into a new way of living. "

> > > > By the way, for people who do not like 12-step, the pieces of the

> > book that are about 12-step/AA connections are set in sections separate

> > from the general text. People can easily read them or not. The main

> > stream of the text is ACT oriented recovery without AA, but the two

> > streams are crafted to be compatible and complimentary.

> > > >

> > > > with warm regards,

> > > >

> > > > G.

> > > > 205 Peabody Building

> > > > Psychology Department

> > > > University of Mississippi

> > > > Oxford, MS 38677

> > > >

> > > > ph:

> > > > fax:

> > > >

> > > > academic homepage:

> > > > www.olemiss.edu/working/kwilson/kwilson.htm

> > > >

> > > > also check out

> > > > www.onelifellc.com

> > > > www.mindfulnessfortwo.com

> > > > www.facebook.com/kellygwilson

> > > > www.tastybehaviorism.com

> > > > www.abnormalwootwoot.com

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

March 11, 2012

Helena,

Perhaps this is between Terry and Jim. If you are feeling scared or

judgemental, you could deal with those feelings and your thoughts about this

interaction by using some ACT processes. Defusion comes to mind, but accepting

that people will not always act in ways that you approve of might also help.

These are methods I try to use in dealing with posts in which you act in ways

that I do not agree with. I hope they will bring you some peace.

Shauna

> > > > >

> > > > > I think " get me alone " here doesn't mean quiet contemplation time

> > > which, as you suggest is a good thing. It's about turning your back on

> > > your program and support network until you're isolated and vulnerable.

> > > > >

> > > > > Jim

> > > > >

> > > > > .

> > > > > < serv . gif >

> > > > >

> > > > > I'm with Jim on this. I have always assumed that these admonitions

> > > about " my disease wants to get me alone so it can kill me " as preemptive

> > > of the nasty outcomes of fusion and avoidance--to use ACT language.

> > > > >

> > > > > Sometimes, when things are said out loud, with a bit of recognizing

> > > them as thoughts perspective changes a bit ( " so the other day, I was

> > > alone in my apartment and my head says to me...one drink? What's the big

> > > deal? " ). If someone were to say that out loud at an AA meeting, they

> > > would get a chuckle. Hearing it, they might chuckle themselves.

> > > > >

> > > > > Cut yourself off from social support. Spend a bunch of time alone

> > > ruminating/worrying. What happens? We are social creatures and spending

> > > a lot of time cut off is bad medicine. Alone and ruminating/worrying is

> > > a formula for bad outcomes.

> > > > >

> > > > > Time for meditation, sure. Demonstrably good stuff. Buddhists say so

> > > (well, really, all the great spiritual traditions). AA says so. And,

> > > psychological science says so. As long as people get the distinction

> > > between meditation and rumination:-)

> > > > >

> > > > > In my most recent book I talk about a lot of great defusion and

> > > active life engagement found in AA: here is a snippet from The Wisdom to

> > > Know the Difference

> > > > >

> > > http://www.amazon.com/ gp /product/1572249285/ref=as_ li _ tf _ tl ? ie

=UTF8 & tag=\

> > > mindfortwo20 & linkCode =as2 & camp=1789 & creative=9325 & creativeASIN

=157224928\

> > > 5< http://www.amazon.com/ gp /product/1572249285/ref=as_ li _ tf _ tl ? ie

=UTF8 & tag=mindfortwo20 & linkCode =as2 & camp=1789 & creative=9325 & creativeASIN

=1572249285 >

> > >

> > > > > " There are many other 12-step sayings you might hear in meetings

> > > that contain this admonishment to hold what we think lightly. " You

> > > have a thinking problem, not a drinking problem " points to a

> > > tendency to get caught in worry and rumination and to lose direct

> > > contact with your own life. It is, of course, really a warning against

> > > overthinking , not thinking per se . The problem of fusion is a problem of

> > > letting thinking about life substitute for life. In keeping with the

> > > oftentimes self-deprecating humor found around AA, a favorite saying is,

> > > " Don't go into your mind alone; it's not a safe

> > > neighborhood, " and there's this version from Narcotics

> > > Anonymous: " An addict alone is in bad company. " These sayings

> > > can be interpreted as negative self-statements, but if they are held

> > > lightly, and in kindness, what they point toward is the human tendency

> > > to become so engaged in analysis and speculation that we lose contact

> > > with the directly experienced world. When you hear a recovering

> > > alcoholic, sitting in a church basement at an AA meeting, say with a

> > > smile on his or her face, " My best thinking got me here, " you

> > > are not looking at self-hatred, you are looking at someone who has

> > > learned through trial and error that sometimes their best thinking on a

> > > given day is a great source of amusement on another day. Sayings like

> > > " Don't intellectualize, utilize " are calls to action.

> > > Thinking about recovery is not the same as active recovery. AA is a

> > > program of action, not a program of thinking about action. Ponder, for

> > > example, the saying " The three most dangerous words for an

> > > alcoholicâ€ " `I've been thinking.' " As with the other 12-step

> > > sayings, even the saying ought to be held lightly. No one, and I mean no

> > > one, with an ounce of sense thinks that you should give up planning and

> > > thinking. But as the Serenity Prayer suggests, recognize the things you

> > > cannot change. And if you find yourself grinding through some thoughts

> > > over and over and over and over, and, yes, overâ€ " maybe, just maybe it

> > > is time to let go of thinking for a moment and choose some small act, or

> > > series of acts, that serves your values. As they say in AA, " Do the

> > > next right thing. " This is not just AA folk wisdom; there is a

> > > substantial body of scientific evidence that shows that worry and rumi-

> > > nationâ€ " a couple of very popular ways to get lost in

> > > thoughtâ€ " produce bad outcomes. And there is also a convincing body of

> > > evidence that suggests that moving your feet and actually doing things

> > > (sometimes called behavioral activation by psychologists) is very good

> > > medicine. In closing, on this little note, consider this AA adage:

> > > " In AA you live your way into a new way of thinking. You do not

> > > think your way into a new way of living. "

> > > > > By the way, for people who do not like 12-step, the pieces of the

> > > book that are about 12-step/AA connections are set in sections separate

> > > from the general text. People can easily read them or not. The main

> > > stream of the text is ACT oriented recovery without AA, but the two

> > > streams are crafted to be compatible and complimentary.

> > > > >

> > > > > with warm regards,

> > > > >

> > > > > G.

> > > > > 205 Peabody Building

> > > > > Psychology Department

> > > > > University of Mississippi

> > > > > Oxford, MS 38677

> > > > >

> > > > > ph :

> > > > > fax:

> > > > >

> > > > > academic homepage:

> > > > > www. olemiss . edu /working/ kwilson / kwilson . htm

> > > > >

> > > > > also check out

> > > > > www. onelifellc .com

> > > > > www. mindfulnessfortwo .com

> > > > > www.facebook.com/ kellygwilson

> > > > > www. tastybehaviorism .com

> > > > > www. abnormalwootwoot .com

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

March 14, 2012

Jim,

Thanks. Yes, certainly no quarrel. But still a two part question: What do you

mean when you say AA is " especially unsuitable for people who are successful

stopping or moderating some other way. " (?). And please...where is this

assertion grounded from (e.g., your own experience, a reading, etc)?

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I think " get me alone " here doesn't mean quiet contemplation time

> > > > > which, as you suggest is a good thing. It's about turning your back on

> > > > > your program and support network until you're isolated and vulnerable.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Jim

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > .

> > > > > > > < serv . gif >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I'm with Jim on this. I have always assumed that these admonitions

> > > > > about " my disease wants to get me alone so it can kill me " as

preemptive

> > > > > of the nasty outcomes of fusion and avoidance--to use ACT language.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Sometimes, when things are said out loud, with a bit of

recognizing

> > > > > them as thoughts perspective changes a bit ( " so the other day, I was

> > > > > alone in my apartment and my head says to me...one drink? What's the

big

> > > > > deal? " ). If someone were to say that out loud at an AA meeting, they

> > > > > would get a chuckle. Hearing it, they might chuckle themselves.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Cut yourself off from social support. Spend a bunch of time alone

> > > > > ruminating/worrying. What happens? We are social creatures and

spending

> > > > > a lot of time cut off is bad medicine. Alone and ruminating/worrying

is

> > > > > a formula for bad outcomes.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Time for meditation, sure. Demonstrably good stuff. Buddhists say

so

> > > > > (well, really, all the great spiritual traditions). AA says so. And,

> > > > > psychological science says so. As long as people get the distinction

> > > > > between meditation and rumination:-)

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > In my most recent book I talk about a lot of great defusion and

> > > > > active life engagement found in AA: here is a snippet from The Wisdom

to

> > > > > Know the Difference

> > > > > > >

> > > > > http://www.amazon.com/ gp /product/1572249285/ref=as_ li _ tf _ tl ?

ie =UTF8 & tag=\

> > > > > mindfortwo20 & linkCode =as2 & camp=1789 & creative=9325 & creativeASIN

=157224928\

> > > > > 5< http://www.amazon.com/ gp /product/1572249285/ref=as_ li _ tf _ tl

? ie =UTF8 & tag=mindfortwo20 & linkCode =as2 & camp=1789 & creative=9325 & creativeASIN

=1572249285 >

> > > > >

> > > > > > > " There are many other 12-step sayings you might hear in meetings

> > > > > that contain this admonishment to hold what we think lightly. " You

> > > > > have a thinking problem, not a drinking problem " points to a

> > > > > tendency to get caught in worry and rumination and to lose direct

> > > > > contact with your own life. It is, of course, really a warning against

> > > > > overthinking , not thinking per se . The problem of fusion is a

problem of

> > > > > letting thinking about life substitute for life. In keeping with the

> > > > > oftentimes self-deprecating humor found around AA, a favorite saying

is,

> > > > > " Don't go into your mind alone; it's not a safe

> > > > > neighborhood, " and there's this version from Narcotics

> > > > > Anonymous: " An addict alone is in bad company. " These sayings

> > > > > can be interpreted as negative self-statements, but if they are held

> > > > > lightly, and in kindness, what they point toward is the human tendency

> > > > > to become so engaged in analysis and speculation that we lose contact

> > > > > with the directly experienced world. When you hear a recovering

> > > > > alcoholic, sitting in a church basement at an AA meeting, say with a

> > > > > smile on his or her face, " My best thinking got me here, " you

> > > > > are not looking at self-hatred, you are looking at someone who has

> > > > > learned through trial and error that sometimes their best thinking on

a

> > > > > given day is a great source of amusement on another day. Sayings like

> > > > > " Don't intellectualize, utilize " are calls to action.

> > > > > Thinking about recovery is not the same as active recovery. AA is a

> > > > > program of action, not a program of thinking about action. Ponder, for

> > > > > example, the saying " The three most dangerous words for an

> > > > > alcoholicâ€ " `I've been thinking.' " As with the other 12-step

> > > > > sayings, even the saying ought to be held lightly. No one, and I mean

no

> > > > > one, with an ounce of sense thinks that you should give up planning

and

> > > > > thinking. But as the Serenity Prayer suggests, recognize the things

you

> > > > > cannot change. And if you find yourself grinding through some thoughts

> > > > > over and over and over and over, and, yes, overâ€ " maybe, just maybe it

> > > > > is time to let go of thinking for a moment and choose some small act,

or

> > > > > series of acts, that serves your values. As they say in AA, " Do the

> > > > > next right thing. " This is not just AA folk wisdom; there is a

> > > > > substantial body of scientific evidence that shows that worry and

rumi-

> > > > > nationâ€ " a couple of very popular ways to get lost in

> > > > > thoughtâ€ " produce bad outcomes. And there is also a convincing body of

> > > > > evidence that suggests that moving your feet and actually doing things

> > > > > (sometimes called behavioral activation by psychologists) is very good

> > > > > medicine. In closing, on this little note, consider this AA adage:

> > > > > " In AA you live your way into a new way of thinking. You do not

> > > > > think your way into a new way of living. "

> > > > > > > By the way, for people who do not like 12-step, the pieces of the

> > > > > book that are about 12-step/AA connections are set in sections

separate

> > > > > from the general text. People can easily read them or not. The main

> > > > > stream of the text is ACT oriented recovery without AA, but the two

> > > > > streams are crafted to be compatible and complimentary.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > with warm regards,

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > G.

> > > > > > > 205 Peabody Building

> > > > > > > Psychology Department

> > > > > > > University of Mississippi

> > > > > > > Oxford, MS 38677

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > ph :

> > > > > > > fax:

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > academic homepage:

> > > > > > > www. olemiss . edu /working/ kwilson / kwilson . htm

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > also check out

> > > > > > > www. onelifellc .com

> > > > > > > www. mindfulnessfortwo .com

> > > > > > > www.facebook.com/ kellygwilson

> > > > > > > www. tastybehaviorism .com

> > > > > > > www. abnormalwootwoot .com

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

March 14, 2012

Sometimes I get a bit carried away in my posts (as I have a lot of pent

up anger). I had a girlfreind once that was in a 12 step recovery group

of bulminia who insisted that she could never recover but only manage

the condition as this is what her group had told her. She was completely

resigned to this. I guess to her that meant no more pointless struggle

and this brought some peace. But to me this sounded terrifying so I did

some research and found out that AA's theories were not grounded in

science. Phew! That's a relief.

I guess we all have different types of anxiety problems so maybe I

should join a 12 step group for people that aren't any good at accepting

dreadful things. But would I be playing the guitar today if I had

listened to my mind which said that only gifted people can play a

musical instrument? Learning to play took an awful lot of hard work and

a lot of feelings that this was never going to go anywhere with this.

But I'm glad I persisted, though.

My life has been an immense struggle but perhaps all this this enormous

effort hasn't always been helpful as I am so tired all the time. But it

took a lot of determination not to be brought down by the theories of

psychaitry - or their cousin, the 12 step groups and hangers on- that

there was someting wrong with my brain and that I was born like this.

Another load of rubbish not based on any science, but was just a fraud.

For all this pain that they caused me I am still very angry indeed.

Kv

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > I think " get me alone " here doesn't mean quiet

contemplation time

> > > > > > which, as you suggest is a good thing. It's about turning

your back on

> > > > > > your program and support network until you're isolated and

vulnerable.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Jim

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > .

> > > > > > > > < serv . gif >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > I'm with Jim on this. I have always assumed that these

admonitions

> > > > > > about " my disease wants to get me alone so it can kill me "

as preemptive

> > > > > > of the nasty outcomes of fusion and avoidance--to use ACT

language.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Sometimes, when things are said out loud, with a bit of

recognizing

> > > > > > them as thoughts perspective changes a bit ( " so the other

day, I was

> > > > > > alone in my apartment and my head says to me...one drink?

What's the big

> > > > > > deal? " ). If someone were to say that out loud at an AA

meeting, they

> > > > > > would get a chuckle. Hearing it, they might chuckle

themselves.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Cut yourself off from social support. Spend a bunch of

time alone

> > > > > > ruminating/worrying. What happens? We are social creatures

and spending

> > > > > > a lot of time cut off is bad medicine. Alone and

ruminating/worrying is

> > > > > > a formula for bad outcomes.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Time for meditation, sure. Demonstrably good stuff.

Buddhists say so

> > > > > > (well, really, all the great spiritual traditions). AA says

so. And,

> > > > > > psychological science says so. As long as people get the

distinction

> > > > > > between meditation and rumination:-)

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > In my most recent book I talk about a lot of great

defusion and

> > > > > > active life engagement found in AA: here is a snippet from

The Wisdom to

> > > > > > Know the Difference

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > http://www.amazon.com/ gp /product/1572249285/ref=as_ li _

tf _ tl ? ie =UTF8 & tag=\

> > > > > > mindfortwo20 & linkCode =as2 & camp=1789 & creative=9325 &

creativeASIN =157224928\

> > > > > > 5< http://www.amazon.com/ gp /product/1572249285/ref=as_ li

_ tf _ tl ? ie =UTF8 & tag=mindfortwo20 & linkCode

=as2 & camp=1789 & creative=9325 & creativeASIN =1572249285 >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > > > " There are many other 12-step sayings you might hear in

meetings

> > > > > > that contain this admonishment to hold what we think

lightly. " You

> > > > > > have a thinking problem, not a drinking problem " points to a

> > > > > > tendency to get caught in worry and rumination and to lose

direct

> > > > > > contact with your own life. It is, of course, really a

warning against

> > > > > > overthinking , not thinking per se . The problem of fusion

is a problem of

> > > > > > letting thinking about life substitute for life. In keeping

with the

> > > > > > oftentimes self-deprecating humor found around AA, a

favorite saying is,

> > > > > > " Don't go into your mind alone; it's not a safe

> > > > > > neighborhood, " and there's this version from Narcotics

> > > > > > Anonymous: " An addict alone is in bad company. " These

sayings

> > > > > > can be interpreted as negative self-statements, but if they

are held

> > > > > > lightly, and in kindness, what they point toward is the

human tendency

> > > > > > to become so engaged in analysis and speculation that we

lose contact

> > > > > > with the directly experienced world. When you hear a

recovering

> > > > > > alcoholic, sitting in a church basement at an AA meeting,

say with a

> > > > > > smile on his or her face, " My best thinking got me here, "

you

> > > > > > are not looking at self-hatred, you are looking at someone

who has

> > > > > > learned through trial and error that sometimes their best

thinking on a

> > > > > > given day is a great source of amusement on another day.

Sayings like

> > > > > > " Don't intellectualize, utilize " are calls to action.

> > > > > > Thinking about recovery is not the same as active recovery.

AA is a

> > > > > > program of action, not a program of thinking about action.

Ponder, for

> > > > > > example, the saying " The three most dangerous words for an

> > > > > > alcoholicâ€ " `I've been thinking.' " As with the other

12-step

> > > > > > sayings, even the saying ought to be held lightly. No one,

and I mean no

> > > > > > one, with an ounce of sense thinks that you should give up

planning and

> > > > > > thinking. But as the Serenity Prayer suggests, recognize the

things you

> > > > > > cannot change. And if you find yourself grinding through

some thoughts

> > > > > > over and over and over and over, and, yes, overâ€ " maybe,

just maybe it

> > > > > > is time to let go of thinking for a moment and choose some

small act, or

> > > > > > series of acts, that serves your values. As they say in AA,

" Do the

> > > > > > next right thing. " This is not just AA folk wisdom; there is

a

> > > > > > substantial body of scientific evidence that shows that

worry and rumi-

> > > > > > nationâ€ " a couple of very popular ways to get lost in

> > > > > > thoughtâ€ " produce bad outcomes. And there is also a

convincing body of

> > > > > > evidence that suggests that moving your feet and actually

doing things

> > > > > > (sometimes called behavioral activation by psychologists) is

very good

> > > > > > medicine. In closing, on this little note, consider this AA

adage:

> > > > > > " In AA you live your way into a new way of thinking. You do

not

> > > > > > think your way into a new way of living. "

> > > > > > > > By the way, for people who do not like 12-step, the

pieces of the

> > > > > > book that are about 12-step/AA connections are set in

sections separate

> > > > > > from the general text. People can easily read them or not.

The main

> > > > > > stream of the text is ACT oriented recovery without AA, but

the two

> > > > > > streams are crafted to be compatible and complimentary.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > with warm regards,

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > G.

> > > > > > > > 205 Peabody Building

> > > > > > > > Psychology Department

> > > > > > > > University of Mississippi

> > > > > > > > Oxford, MS 38677

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > ph :

> > > > > > > > fax:

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > academic homepage:

> > > > > > > > www. olemiss . edu /working/ kwilson / kwilson . htm

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > also check out

> > > > > > > > www. onelifellc .com

> > > > > > > > www. mindfulnessfortwo .com

> > > > > > > > www.facebook.com/ kellygwilson

> > > > > > > > www. tastybehaviorism .com

> > > > > > > > www. abnormalwootwoot .com

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

March 14, 2012

Kv,

I can relate to the rage you feel when you read about AA or any 12-Step program.

In ACT like AA you " give up " not to harm yourself but because that allows some

winning-- and " giving up " and " winning " are loosely held terms in both contexts.

More like surrendering to what's so in order to find breathing room for a freer

life. I don't know what you mean by gentler paths, but if you find something

that is more workable for you, why remain so rageful?

> > >

> > > I think " get me alone " here doesn't mean quiet contemplation time

> which, as you suggest is a good thing. It's about turning your back on

> your program and support network until you're isolated and vulnerable.

> > >

> > > Jim

> > >

> > > .

> > > <serv.gif>

> > >

> > > I'm with Jim on this. I have always assumed that these admonitions

> about " my disease wants to get me alone so it can kill me " as preemptive

> of the nasty outcomes of fusion and avoidance--to use ACT language.

> > >

> > > Sometimes, when things are said out loud, with a bit of recognizing

> them as thoughts perspective changes a bit ( " so the other day, I was

> alone in my apartment and my head says to me...one drink? What's the big

> deal? " ). If someone were to say that out loud at an AA meeting, they

> would get a chuckle. Hearing it, they might chuckle themselves.

> > >

> > > Cut yourself off from social support. Spend a bunch of time alone

> ruminating/worrying. What happens? We are social creatures and spending

> a lot of time cut off is bad medicine. Alone and ruminating/worrying is

> a formula for bad outcomes.

> > >

> > > Time for meditation, sure. Demonstrably good stuff. Buddhists say so

> (well, really, all the great spiritual traditions). AA says so. And,

> psychological science says so. As long as people get the distinction

> between meditation and rumination:-)

> > >

> > > In my most recent book I talk about a lot of great defusion and

> active life engagement found in AA: here is a snippet from The Wisdom to

> Know the Difference

> > >

> http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572249285/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8 & tag=\

> mindfortwo20 & linkCode=as2 & camp=1789 & creative=9325 & creativeASIN=157224928\

> 5

> > > " There are many other 12-step sayings you might hear in meetings

> that contain this admonishment to hold what we think lightly. " You

> have a thinking problem, not a drinking problem " points to a

> tendency to get caught in worry and rumination and to lose direct

> contact with your own life. It is, of course, really a warning against

> overthinking, not thinking per se. The problem of fusion is a problem of

> letting thinking about life substitute for life. In keeping with the

> oftentimes self-deprecating humor found around AA, a favorite saying is,

> " Don't go into your mind alone; it's not a safe

> neighborhood, " and there's this version from Narcotics

> Anonymous: " An addict alone is in bad company. " These sayings

> can be interpreted as negative self-statements, but if they are held

> lightly, and in kindness, what they point toward is the human tendency

> to become so engaged in analysis and speculation that we lose contact

> with the directly experienced world. When you hear a recovering

> alcoholic, sitting in a church basement at an AA meeting, say with a

> smile on his or her face, " My best thinking got me here, " you

> are not looking at self-hatred, you are looking at someone who has

> learned through trial and error that sometimes their best thinking on a

> given day is a great source of amusement on another day. Sayings like

> " Don't intellectualize, utilize " are calls to action.

> Thinking about recovery is not the same as active recovery. AA is a

> program of action, not a program of thinking about action. Ponder, for

> example, the saying " The three most dangerous words for an

> alcoholic—`I've been thinking.' " As with the other 12-step

> sayings, even the saying ought to be held lightly. No one, and I mean no

> one, with an ounce of sense thinks that you should give up planning and

> thinking. But as the Serenity Prayer suggests, recognize the things you

> cannot change. And if you find yourself grinding through some thoughts

> over and over and over and over, and, yes, over—maybe, just maybe it

> is time to let go of thinking for a moment and choose some small act, or

> series of acts, that serves your values. As they say in AA, " Do the

> next right thing. " This is not just AA folk wisdom; there is a

> substantial body of scientific evidence that shows that worry and rumi-

> nation—a couple of very popular ways to get lost in

> thought—produce bad outcomes. And there is also a convincing body of

> evidence that suggests that moving your feet and actually doing things

> (sometimes called behavioral activation by psychologists) is very good

> medicine. In closing, on this little note, consider this AA adage:

> " In AA you live your way into a new way of thinking. You do not

> think your way into a new way of living. "

> > > By the way, for people who do not like 12-step, the pieces of the

> book that are about 12-step/AA connections are set in sections separate

> from the general text. People can easily read them or not. The main

> stream of the text is ACT oriented recovery without AA, but the two

> streams are crafted to be compatible and complimentary.

> > >

> > > with warm regards,

> > >

> > > G.

> > > 205 Peabody Building

> > > Psychology Department

> > > University of Mississippi

> > > Oxford, MS 38677

> > >

> > > ph:

> > > fax:

> > >

> > > academic homepage:

> > > www.olemiss.edu/working/kwilson/kwilson.htm

> > >

> > > also check out

> > > www.onelifellc.com

> > > www.mindfulnessfortwo.com

> > > www.facebook.com/kellygwilson

> > > www.tastybehaviorism.com

> > > www.abnormalwootwoot.com

> > >

> >

>

March 14, 2012

I see we just cross-posted--you sent something to this very topic as i was

drafting a note to you. Great minds think alike?

> > > >

> > > > I think " get me alone " here doesn't mean quiet contemplation time

> > which, as you suggest is a good thing. It's about turning your back on

> > your program and support network until you're isolated and vulnerable.

> > > >

> > > > Jim

> > > >

> > > > .

> > > > <serv.gif>

> > > >

> > > > I'm with Jim on this. I have always assumed that these admonitions

> > about " my disease wants to get me alone so it can kill me " as preemptive

> > of the nasty outcomes of fusion and avoidance--to use ACT language.

> > > >

> > > > Sometimes, when things are said out loud, with a bit of recognizing

> > them as thoughts perspective changes a bit ( " so the other day, I was

> > alone in my apartment and my head says to me...one drink? What's the big

> > deal? " ). If someone were to say that out loud at an AA meeting, they

> > would get a chuckle. Hearing it, they might chuckle themselves.

> > > >

> > > > Cut yourself off from social support. Spend a bunch of time alone

> > ruminating/worrying. What happens? We are social creatures and spending

> > a lot of time cut off is bad medicine. Alone and ruminating/worrying is

> > a formula for bad outcomes.

> > > >

> > > > Time for meditation, sure. Demonstrably good stuff. Buddhists say so

> > (well, really, all the great spiritual traditions). AA says so. And,

> > psychological science says so. As long as people get the distinction

> > between meditation and rumination:-)

> > > >

> > > > In my most recent book I talk about a lot of great defusion and

> > active life engagement found in AA: here is a snippet from The Wisdom to

> > Know the Difference

> > > >

> > http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572249285/ref=as_li_tf_tl?ie=UTF8 & tag=\

> > mindfortwo20 & linkCode=as2 & camp=1789 & creative=9325 & creativeASIN=157224928\

> > 5