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hi Jill,

my name is tessa, im 20. i was also diagnosed with VV, ive had it for a year

now. i also have dysplasia/HPV, thats what my doctors say causes my VV. im

sorry you have to deal with this in a marriage, i know the struggles with

sex and stuff like that are very frustrating. ive been with my bf almost two

years now and we havent had sex in a year.

here is a webpage of vulvar specialists across the US.

http://www.med.umich.edu/whrc/vulvar.html

also is UVA the univ of virginia? you also might think about going to NY if

you dont mind the travel. dr. howard glazer is in NY, he also has a mailing

list for vulvodynia.

well i hope that you find some answers and relief soon, we are all here to

help.

take care

tess

>From: jvasile@...

>Reply-To: VulvarDisordersegroups

>To: VulvarDisordersegroups

>Subject: new member

>Date: Sun, 08 Oct 2000 02:59:12 -0000

>

>Hello all,

>I just discovered this group while searching for information on

>vulvar vestibulitis. Although I have not been completely diagnosed

>yet, everything is pointing to it. I just had a vulvar biopsy less

>than two weeks ago and the results are confirming the diagnosis. I'm

>writing to hopefully touch base with people who can answer some of

>the many questions I have about this. First off, I am only 21 years

>old, three months into a marriage, and am so concerned about how this

>is going to affect the rest of my life!!

>

>I, like many others, have been seeing doctor after doctor because of

>itching, burning in the vulvar area for over two years!!! Finally,

>my new doctor suggested that it might be vulvar vestibulitis because

>every other test under the sun came back negative. Although he is a

>great doctor, I'm looking into seeing a specialist. Does anyone

>recommend a specific doctor at UVA or s Hopkins? That's where

>he'll be referring me. I'd appreciate any feedback on experience

>anyone may have had with any doctor at these two places. Also, if

>anyone is my age going through this...please write! I'd appreciate

>the wisdom of older women, too. I guess I just need a sounding board

>to someone who has a clue what this is!!

>

>Thanks for listening. Hope to hear from you soon.

>

>Jill

>

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  • 1 year later...
Guest guest

I have just been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes. My fasting blood sugar was

105, but the GHb was 6.5. He stated that many of his patients would like to

have that percent because they would consider it under control.

He wants me to try diet, but did not specify any specific plan. I was on

Atkins, and when I told him that he started his sentence with, " I have a

real problem with ... " I just knew he was going to say low-carb diets, but

instead he said he has a problem with any diet plan. Because the diet plans

imply starting and stopping something. He told me I knew what I needed to

do, cut back on fat, watch desserts, etc. Sometimes this makes it harder

when there isn't a plan. You have to actually make decisions on your own.

I've been on and off so many diets, researched diet information, that he's

right, I do know what I need to do.

I'm using a software program, DietPower. Do any of you also us a software

program to track your food intake, etc?

Ila East ieast@...

Personal Web Site

http://mutans.astate.edu/ieast

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  • 5 years later...

Karla -- good for your husband for putting his foot down. Your

mother is disturbed and your husband has the right to draw the line

at what chaos he's willing to put up with in his own home. An OD

certainly qualifies as over the line.

Yes, it IS like an addiction: our BPD mothers taught us that WE

were responsible for all their miseries, or that we could cure them,

or that we made their lives and they had nothing else, etc., etc.....

What you need to really take in and believe is that you are NOT

responsible for her and that you have the right to your OWN life as

an adult, detached from her. Sure, it would be nice if she could

sort out a NORMAL, give and take, affectionate relationship with

you, but unfortunately, the BPD makes that near impossible.

It's time to save yourself. Or, more importantly, it's time to GIVE

YOURSELF PERMISSION to save yourself and your life with your husband.

You can rewrite your relationship with your mother. You can step

back and detach from her (living with you obviously means you guys

were pretty enmeshed with each other, right?). Her suicide attempt

means she needs more serious care than you can give, and if she

tries to make it like you're betraying her by not letting her live

with you, you should tell her that. You can do it gently, firmly

and politely. But you can still say it.

Other good books are " Boundaries " by Henry Cloud, " Surviving the

Borderline Parent " , and " Understanding the Borderline Mother " ....

If I were you, the FIRST thing I'd do is arm myself with information

about this disease and what it means you'll be dealing with once you

start laying down boundaries about how your relationship will be

changing.

Good luck -- You deserve a life free of this strife.

-Kyla

>

> Hi Karla,

> Welcome to the site! I know exactly what you mean about being

addicted to her.

> It really is an addiction, just as powerful as any drug. It took

me a long time to go LC with my fada. I just kept diving back in

for more abuse, until finally I couldn't take it anymore and started

my healing process. And it is a process. I've been going through

all the stages of grief -- denial, bargaining, anger, etc. I'm

doing better after a few months and am even finding some

compassion. No desire, thank goodness, for more contact, just a

lessening of the rage. It's helped me to realize that we're all at

various stages of development and he's stuck at a very immature age

that only sees others as objects for his own means. Good luck as

you do your healing work. There are many excellent books out there

which will help, as well as this group, which is very supportive.

> Glad you're here, but sorry you have to be!

> AZClown

>

>

> new member

>

> Hello All,

>

> My mother was just recently diagnosed with BPD. She had been

living

> with me and my family for the past 5 yrs, and on New Years night

she

> tried to OD. My husband, having had enough, did not allow her to

> return home. Just just got diagnosed last week.

>

> I am currently reading Stop Walking on Egg Shells, and I am having

a

> really hard time right now figuring out what to do. I am having a

> hard time seperating myself from her. She is like an addiction, I

feel

> horrible until I call her atleast once in the day, then I do, and

she

> makes me feel horrible. But yet, I keep calling!

>

> I am happy to have found this site, and hope all of you can give

me

> advice.

>

> Thank you,

> Karla

>

>

>

>

>

>

_____________________________________________________________________

_______________

> Be a better friend, newshound, and

> know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ

>

>

>

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Hi Kyla,

Thank you for your encouraging words and advice. I am so happy to have found

this site. It is still unbelievable to me how many people are going through or

have gone through the same thing.

It has been 3 days now that I have finally stopped calling my mother. On the

second day of my not calling she called me at work and took me by surprise. She

asked why I had not called and my answer was, I was waiting to see if you would

call me. Her reply was to scold me and tell me I am acting like a child. My

good friend who is a co-worker was next to me and she knew right away that I was

talking to my mom, because she heard my tone of voice. I sounded like a little

girl who was scared. After I hung up, I was so upset to realize how scared I

was when I heard her voice. I couldnt even speak the truth. I was too scared

of how she would react.

I have had family members call me as well (my aunts, my mom's sisters) and they

have said very negative things to me, and I do nothing but stay silent. This is

what is driving my husband nuts. He has refused to let our children see her, my

son is 15 and my daughter is 9, they were both there that night when she tried

to OD, it was a horrible moment for all of us. Half of me understands his

reasoning and the other half is having a tough time.

I know I have a long road ahead of me. I am grateful to read all of your

postings, as it truly is helping.

By the way, I wanted to share with all of you that as I said in my first post,

my mother tried to OD on New Years night, this was not her first time. This was

her fourth. All of my family acts like its no big deal and seem to ignore the

problem.

Thanks again,

Karla

new member

>

> Hello All,

>

> My mother was just recently diagnosed with BPD. She had been

living

> with me and my family for the past 5 yrs, and on New Years night

she

> tried to OD. My husband, having had enough, did not allow her to

> return home. Just just got diagnosed last week.

>

> I am currently reading Stop Walking on Egg Shells, and I am having

a

> really hard time right now figuring out what to do. I am having a

> hard time seperating myself from her. She is like an addiction, I

feel

> horrible until I call her atleast once in the day, then I do, and

she

> makes me feel horrible. But yet, I keep calling!

>

> I am happy to have found this site, and hope all of you can give

me

> advice.

>

> Thank you,

> Karla

>

>

>

>

>

>

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _

____________ ___

> Be a better friend, newshound, and

> know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

http://mobile. yahoo.com/ ;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR 8HDtDypao8Wcj9tA cJ

>

>

>

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