Guest guest Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Hi I'm not sure you will find much benefit in answering this question, so I won't actually try :0) ACT encourages us to follow our own values, not those of other people. Indeed, trying to please other people, or make people think better or us, or trying to make other people happy is all rather tiring. I have enough of my own Happiness Traps, without failling into other people's. However......We can choose values that relate to how we interact with other people: we can be kind to people, we can think of other people's interests; we can be good friends, neighbours, brothers and sisters. But this is essentially fulfilling our own personal values.If you want to rid yourself of self-centredness (in the way I think you mean it) then look at your values. If you value the connection you get from other people around you, then do your values and goals reflect this?. If not, what might you add, and what might you do to remedy it? x To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 7 March 2012, 8:54 Subject: EGO-ISM I wonder if you guys could help clarify ego for me? I have been witness to self-centeredness since childhood and I feel like all my lessons were wrong. So much of what I do seems to be self-centred, I am a bit confused about how to rid myself of this. At the very minimum, I'm confused as to how to live with that. I have never felt a sense of importance...except as a parent (totally not self-oriented). I believe that "I'm not a big world" (Kid Cudi), why should I matter at all. Can anyone define EGO? Egoistic behaviour? Many definitions would be ideal..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 Can you be clearer about what it is you are asking.. this something you see as appealing somehow in others and you want more of? I falter all the time too, btw, but just want to be clear as to what you're asking. kind regards, J > > > > , > >  > > I didn't thank you for this because I continue to work with it, even today and undoubtedly till tomorrow and the next. I wish I could work this one to an end. My friend is due to arrive. I feel his ego as infamous, it consumes him without him seeing so. I'm lost, really I don't know what to do with this ego, I KNOW it doesn't work, it is not functional to move forward. I acknowledge that this is perhaps one of those unanswerable questions. > >  > > I will mindfully sit with my friend...and me tonight.... > >  > > > > > > > > ________________________________ > > From: Robson <oscar.robson@> > > To: " ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public > > > Sent: Thursday, 8 March 2012 3:35 AM > > Subject: Re: EGO-ISM > > > > > >  > > > > Hi > > > > I'm not sure you will find much benefit in answering this question, so I won't actually try :0) ACT encourages us to follow our own values, not those of other people. Indeed, trying to please other people, or make people think better or us, or trying to make other people happy is all rather tiring. I have enough of my own Happiness Traps, without failling into other people's. However...... > > > > We can choose values that relate to how we interact with other people: we can be kind to people, we can think of other people's interests; we can be good friends, neighbours, brothers and sisters. But this is essentially fulfilling our own personal values. > > > > If you want to rid yourself of self-centredness (in the way I think you mean it) then look at your values. If you value the connection you get from other people around you, then do your values and goals reflect this?. If not, what might you add, and what might you do to remedy it? > > > > > > x > > > > > > > > ________________________________ > > From: experiential2012 <experiential2012@> > > To: ACT_for_the_Public > > Sent: Wednesday, 7 March 2012, 8:54 > > Subject: EGO-ISM > > > > > >  > > > > I wonder if you guys could help clarify ego for me? I have been witness to self-centeredness since childhood and I feel like all my lessons were wrong. So much of what I do seems to be self-centred, I am a bit confused about how to rid myself of this. At the very minimum, I'm confused as to how to live with that. I have never felt a sense of importance...except as a parent (totally not self-oriented). I believe that " I'm not a big world " (Kid Cudi), why should I matter at all. > > > > Can anyone define EGO? Egoistic behaviour? Many definitions would be ideal..... > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 > >> Can you be clearer about what it is you are asking.. this something you see as appealing somehow in others and you want more of? I falter all the time too, btw, but just want to be clear as to what you're asking. >> kind regards,> J>> >> >>> > ,>> >  >> > I didn't thank you for this because I continue to work with it, even today and undoubtedly till tomorrow and the next. I wish I could work this one to an end. My friend is due to arrive. I feel his ego as infamous, it consumes him without him seeing so. I'm lost, really I don't know what to do with this ego, I KNOW it doesn't work, it is not functional to move forward. I acknowledge that this is perhaps one of those unanswerable questions. >> >  >> > I will mindfully sit with my friend...and me tonight....>> >  >> > >> >>> >>> > ________________________________ >> > From: Robson <oscar.robson@>>> > To: " ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public > >> > Sent: Thursday, 8 March 2012 3:35 AM>> > Subject: Re: EGO-ISM>> >>> >>> >  >> >>> > Hi >> > >> > I'm not sure you will find much benefit in answering this question, so I won't actually try :0) ACT encourages us to follow our own values, not those of other people. Indeed, trying to please other people, or make people think better or us, or trying to make other people happy is all rather tiring. I have enough of my own Happiness Traps, without failling into other people's. However...... >> >>> > We can choose values that relate to how we interact with other people: we can be kind to people, we can think of other people's interests; we can be good friends, neighbours, brothers and sisters. But this is essentially fulfilling our own personal values. >> >>> > If you want to rid yourself of self-centredness (in the way I think you mean it) then look at your values. If you value the connection you get from other people around you, then do your values and goals reflect this?. If not, what might you add, and what might you do to remedy it? >> >>> >>> > x>> >>> >>> >>> > ________________________________>> > From: experiential2012 <experiential2012@> >> > To: ACT_for_the_Public >> > Sent: Wednesday, 7 March 2012, 8:54>> > Subject: EGO-ISM>> > >> >>> >  >> >>> > I wonder if you guys could help clarify ego for me? I have been witness to self-centeredness since childhood and I feel like all my lessons were wrong. So much of what I do seems to be self-centred, I am a bit confused about how to rid myself of this. At the very minimum, I'm confused as to how to live with that. I have never felt a sense of importance...except as a parent (totally not self-oriented). I believe that " I'm not a big world " (Kid Cudi), why should I matter at all. >> >>> > Can anyone define EGO? Egoistic behaviour? Many definitions would be ideal.....>> >>> > >> >>>>> -- Darrell G King, RN, CASAC-TRochester, NY, UShttp://darrellking.com DarrellGKing@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 ,Perhaps ego is evident when one feels a need to define it? Perhaps it is the feeling that results when the thinking, conceptual, language-driven mind slips into the driver's seat and demands acknowledgment and security? If we concede for a moment that our thinking minds are dedicated to providing safety through problem-solving, then perhaps those minds find their highest purpose in securing their own safety, like a computer given the directive of keeping itself safe so it can continue to do its job. If this were the case, then one way a mind (which works exclusively with symbols) might fulfill the directive is to create a conceptual model of itself as seperate and lasting. With this symbol in place, it could then busy itself with strategies for continuing this durable entity. When I think about it like that, it seems the concept of ego as I have been exposed to it fits this model. The result of this speculation (by the selfsame mind I am speculating about!) is that the ego is the mind's picture of itself as something seperate from the process that is me. It is, so to speak, what the mind sees when it looks in a mirror. Before you throw anything, remember you asked....D > >> Hey there group,>> I conclude that ego is when one believes that everything is either happening 'to' them or 'because of' them. Ego is a primary emotion and there are many secondary emotions that manifest in the light of ego. >> Ego is about dominance; the secondary emotion is......> Ego is about unfaltering knowledge; the secondary emotion is......> Ego is about ignorance; the secondary emotion is......> Ego produces paranoia; the secondary emotion is..... >> I look and look and sometimes I see. I see life in action, right before my eyes. People doing amazing things, without `staying' with challenges but continuing as they continue. is the most prominent teacher (in this circle) of these lessons that I've come across so far. I often wonder how to be so open. He shows me `ego contained' but I falter in these lessons, hence my thought process. >> Can you guys help me with this? Maybe fill in the blanks? I know what I think, but I wonder what you think?>> ? -- Darrell G King, RN, CASAC-TRochester, NY, UShttp://darrellking.com DarrellGKing@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 14, 2012 Report Share Posted March 14, 2012 ,Sometimes, when I feel stuck, I try switching the question around. Perhaps, since asking " what to do with this ego " is proving fruitless, you might try gaining new perspective by asking something like " how did this ago develop " , " where did it come from " , or " what purpose could such a thing serve in his life? " Just a thought.D, I didn't thank you for this because I continue to work with it, even today and undoubtedly till tomorrow and the next. I wish I could work this one to an end. My friend is due to arrive. I feel his ego as infamous, it consumes him without him seeing so. I'm lost, really I don't know what to do with this ego, I KNOW it doesn't work, it is not functional to move forward. I acknowledge that this is perhaps one of those unanswerable questions. I will mindfully sit with my friend...and me tonight.... -- Darrell G King, RN, CASAC-TRochester, NY, UShttp://darrellking.com DarrellGKing@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 15, 2012 Report Share Posted March 15, 2012 Darrell fleshes out what occured to me yesterday when I was thinking about Lou's question. I was lying in bed, ready to fall alseep, when it hit me that "the ego's purpose is to insure survival (of itself)." Sounds like we're on the same track. Helena To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Wednesday, March 14, 2012 8:26:50 PMSubject: Re: EGO-ISM Thanks Darrell,You've given me fresh eyes. I like the analogy of ego being the security software on a computer, it works on many levels for me. Also, ego is, "...what the mind sees when it looks in a mirror." Is golden. I like that very much. I think you're right about changing the question, I've been looking at it from the wrong angle.He, he, he, I wouldn't throw anything...I'm as quiet as a lamb ;-)> >> >> > Hey there group,> >> > I conclude that ego is when one believes that everything is either> happening 'to' them or 'because of' them. Ego is a primary emotion and> there are many secondary emotions that manifest in the light of ego.> >> > Ego is about dominance; the secondary emotion is......> > Ego is about unfaltering knowledge; the secondary emotion is......> > Ego is about ignorance; the secondary emotion is......> > Ego produces paranoia; the secondary emotion is.....> >> > I look and look and sometimes I see. I see life in action, right before> my eyes. People doing amazing things, without `staying' with challenges but> continuing as they continue. is the most prominent teacher (in this> circle) of these lessons that I've come across so far. I often wonder how> to be so open. He shows me `ego contained' but I falter in these lessons,> hence my thought process.> >> > Can you guys help me with this? Maybe fill in the blanks? I know what I> think, but I wonder what you think?> >> > ?> > -- > Darrell G King, RN, CASAC-T> Rochester, NY, US> http://darrellking.com> DarrellGKing@...> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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