Guest guest Posted April 1, 2012 Report Share Posted April 1, 2012 Surf it. The day's nearly over. Tomorrow is a new day. With compassion and encouragement Van L wrote: I don't care! Gillard can say how healthy we are and how dysfuncional we are if not to her stereo type. Thats fine...I just have to LIVE....I need it as I cry and cry for my child.........I want to live! I wish you could help me...I know you are only people like me....I know I ask tooo much.....I am so sorry....really, so sorrry, I just wish and beg out of this death mode...Lou From: L To: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Sunday, 1 April 2012 1:06 PM Subject: Re: Venting worthlessness I tried SANE SA 1800 187 263...they cant help me and reffer...to the national hope line....I run out of credit on my mobile trying to communicate, my phone ends...I top up and try again. they don't answer...they cant deal with me...there is too much legal liability...There is no-one when I'm in this mode. No one is there you can kill me its ok, no one would notice anyway....I need to leave so much.....my dauhter ties me here to this earth but it is not me......I want to go so much...........I'm beyond asking for help, It is not there and I know you know it....you've been leading me all this time......now I just cry and cry because I know it is not true.....LOU To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Sunday, 1 April 2012 11:47 AM Subject: Venting worthlessness I need to vent, I know I will be shunned, dismissed, ignored and told I'm not worth anything anyway ("I'll NEVER talk to you again because you deleted some emails or you are stupid, yes I heard you the first time). It's just the nature of things right, humanity as it is. What do I have to lose? This aggression is so nasty, I feel like I lost me somewhere from last night to waking this morning. I woke melancholy, noticing the low spirit and getting ready for work anyway. Keep on right? So off I go to work and I'm in the car noticing the telephone poles and surfing the urge to ram one (feeling the pointlessness). OK man, I fucken notice it, sure, and I'm still here, I'm still fucken here everyday, SHIT! (I can't let that death mode genie out of the bottle!)! I get to the first person I work with thinking that when I get there it will be about him and I can distract from this difficult mood. Not! Things got so bad for me that I couldn't face the second person on my roster. I threw up, I fought the urge to cry. I lost. I came home to my child. I want to leave so much but she needs me. I wish sometimes I never gave birth. *sigh* And ACT/DBT skills is all I have today. And I'll wake tomorrow. It's just a thought right..... Whoever this is? (Just stuck in a moment) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.