Guest guest Posted April 5, 2012 Report Share Posted April 5, 2012 I've just signed up for one of Russ s' ACT workshops here in Australia in September. Long way off but it feels good to know I'm going. My biggest struggle is with defusion. Still believing the 'data' that flows through my mind. I think I need to read The Compassionate Mind as I turn all the violent messages from my childhood inward on myself. My response to trauma was to freeze to stay safe and it's very, very hard to unfreeze even still. I'll be yelling at myself in my head to move but I don't. And the yelling isn't helping! Duh! Two nights ago, I had my first 'flashback' in years, where I'm absolutely certain someone is in the house and will kill me if I move. The terror was full on. But it only lasted about half an hour before I could get up and go from room to room, instead of an hour or more. AND I did notice I was at least able to form the question, 'is this really happening or is this a flashback?'...THAT'S new. thanks for listening WEndy ps I've just written my first blog article if you'd like to check it out: www.metaphoricallysqueaking.weebly.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2012 Report Share Posted April 8, 2012 You are awesome, . Your wiring sparked an observation and a question for me, so I hope I am not intruding, and I apologize if I am:Observation: Isn't it interesting how the mind always has to translate everything into carefully created symbols and arrange them just so? I mean, I know it is a problem-solving machine and only doing what it does, but I am still amazed at the endless capacity it has to conceptualize stuff, and to keep going until it has all the details comfortably sorted. Your comments about l grout this out once again for me. Question: Have you ever tried to answer these questions about purpose without thinking them through? Of course we have a vision for the future - our minds do little else but create these endlessly - but what about the experience of thinking, of breathing, of being? When my mind raises the question of 'why am I alive?', I never find the answer through reason no matter how many intricate models I think up. It seems the experiential approach is best for me in that arena. Thank,D " Why do you have to know why you've lived? " Hmmm, good question Helena, I've been sitting with it. I need to know why I lived because.... I get, (to an extent) Viktor l's conversations about existence and the importance of responsibility to that (on many levels). Problem is, once there, I found empty. Where was the survival instinct? Where was the sense of responsibility, not only to myself but also my girl? Why didn't I fight to save myself? How and in what way do I actually exist (beyond organic)? (The white-coats may take me for this one :-)...I believe that I'm here because of destiny. I'm not at all religious but I feel like I have seen angels/energy at times. Death is everywhere, everyday, splashed all over the news and in movies, games etc. People all over the world are falling yet I remain. I don't know what destiny is exactly, but there it is. I also believe that it's this thinking that drives my ego. (Not functional. I think back to the analogy of the ego being security on a computer). I think that doing the values work with the required committed action is only possible when one not only functions in the now but is driven by meaning, by a vision of future. For example, no therapist takes on a client without having some vision of that person functioning differently at some future time. Without that vision of future, one can continue to act but it appears quite pointless and puppet like. End of the day, the reason I'm here is outlined in my list of values and goals. This is tough stuff, I appreciate these conversations. Thanks ACT girlfriend, To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Saturday, 7 April 2012 7:06 PM Subject: Re: Re: ACT workshop and defusion Why? Why do you have to know why you've lived? You're here. Just be here. And if you need a reason, look at your daughter. She wouldn't be here if you were never here. I don't know why I'm here, either. But it doesn't bother me because I don't have to know. I laugh, I cry, I hurt, I smile, I fall, I get up, I live. Moment by moment. " Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream....merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily....life is but a dream. " Helena To: " ACT for the Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Saturday, April 7, 2012 4:43:05 AMSubject: Re: Re: ACT workshop and defusion Please...before you all crucify and persecute me...I tried to keep it generic...no religion ok...no judgement ok...no need for anger or persecution...none exists in my world today, I love you all! Despite hurt, blame, persecution...I've lived you and you know me too. I move on ok. There is more that we seek than just living today.....I just wish to not end it with this wish...I have no purpose really, I don't know why I lived?...I HAVE NO CLUE....maybe I'm just stupid and will never see....silly them....silly me....I don't know WHY I lived? To: " ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Saturday, 7 April 2012 5:38 PMSubject: Re: Re: ACT workshop and defusion Damn shame Russ, now I feel like I'm wasting my money....why bother, I probably wont get it anyway? I'm not that smart...my history is testament...(some people have kinetic intelligence...maybe that is me (my capacity...)? I do wish the people in ACT were more willingly accessible....it's easy to get lost you know. as a layman...I miss my therapist a lot, I miss his ability to send me away with pearls! I wish money was 'not' the root of all evil. (Ha, ha, ha, such drama huh!) Gosh I'm over it! Even on good days, when I feel all is good; I want to go because I know it is all an illusion, both the good and bad...it's just my own perception...but I think I want to go all the time, I just feel tired so often that I jump on the energetic moments so as to live my maximum potential because it never lasts. I falter so often....damn it! Nothing lasts...ever...why the fuck am I here? Why do I bother? I wish so much to go because I see no point in riding this pain....it is masochistic. As Katy tells me... " Who are we living for " .......there are some days where I have nowhere to go...nothing to do....but I keep on trying....I wonder why? To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Friday, 6 April 2012 8:29 PM -- Darrell G King, RN, CASAC-TRochester, NY, UShttp://darrellking.comDarrellGKing@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 8, 2012 Report Share Posted April 8, 2012 What she said...D Questions are good. Wondering why is good. But when we wonder why in the sense of " I am not worthwhile, life is not worth living " unless I know why I'm here, then that is just our minds trying to play tricks on us. It's a demanding sort of quest rather than a curious one. The sense of wonder is replaced with angst. My question about why you have to know why you're living was not meant to imply it's not OK to want to know ... on some level, we all ask that question. But when your mind turns that question into something painful, causing great distress, that is exactly when the ACT principles come into play. Let that silly old mind churn out its negativity, its half truths and downright lies. Have a laugh at it. OK mind, I see you're up to your old tricks - there you go again! Even if you believe you are here because of destiny - whatever that means to you - that is just a belief conjured up by the mind. If that belief rings true for you and helps you in your quest to live according to your values, it's a keeper. Otherwise, perhaps not. Beliefs are funny things. They can make or destroy us. I try to have as few beliefs as possible. I have a lot of ideas and inklings about things, but very few solid beliefs. The old saying that " beliefs are not cast in stone " literally means that until one is dead with a headstone marking the grave, you have the ability to change your mind, discard useless or harmful beliefs. In my mind, having a vision of the future is helpful but not essential to being driven by meaning (and values give life meaning). I see how attractive that concept is, however. For me, I articulate my values, set goals according to those values, and work those goals moment by moment. My vision of the future is simply to keep doing that. And if other people have a loftier or more detailed vision of their future, that's OK, too. I sort of gave that up because I was always falling short of my vision (in my mind) so now I just let life unfold as it will, worrying only about what I'm doing NOW. Helena To: " ACT for the Public " <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Sunday, April 8, 2012 4:06:52 AMSubject: Re: Re: ACT workshop and defusion " Why do you have to know why you've lived? " Hmmm, good question Helena, I've been sitting with it. I need to know why I lived because.... I get, (to an extent) Viktor l's conversations about existence and the importance of responsibility to that (on many levels). Problem is, once there, I found empty. Where was the survival instinct? Where was the sense of responsibility, not only to myself but also my girl? Why didn't I fight to save myself? How and in what way do I actually exist (beyond organic)? (The white-coats may take me for this one :-)...I believe that I'm here because of destiny. I'm not at all religious but I feel like I have seen angels/energy at times. Death is everywhere, everyday, splashed all over the news and in movies, games etc. People all over the world are falling yet I remain. I don't know what destiny is exactly, but there it is. I also believe that it's this thinking that drives my ego. (Not functional. I think back to the analogy of the ego being security on a computer). I think that doing the values work with the required committed action is only possible when one not only functions in the now but is driven by meaning, by a vision of future. For example, no therapist takes on a client without having some vision of that person functioning differently at some future time. Without that vision of future, one can continue to act but it appears quite pointless and puppet like. End of the day, the reason I'm here is outlined in my list of values and goals. This is tough stuff, I appreciate these conversations. Thanks ACT girlfriend, To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Saturday, 7 April 2012 7:06 PM Subject: Re: Re: ACT workshop and defusion Why? Why do you have to know why you've lived? You're here. Just be here. And if you need a reason, look at your daughter. She wouldn't be here if you were never here. I don't know why I'm here, either. But it doesn't bother me because I don't have to know. I laugh, I cry, I hurt, I smile, I fall, I get up, I live. Moment by moment. " Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream....merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily....life is but a dream. " Helena To: " ACT for the Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Saturday, April 7, 2012 4:43:05 AMSubject: Re: Re: ACT workshop and defusion Please...before you all crucify and persecute me...I tried to keep it generic...no religion ok...no judgement ok...no need for anger or persecution...none exists in my world today, I love -- Darrell G King, RN, CASAC-TRochester, NY, UShttp://darrellking.comDarrellGKing@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 9, 2012 Report Share Posted April 9, 2012 You are the general public. I think you meant it's more of an advanced course for those stuck using ACT --with themselves, with others. Maybe not. > > That e-course is for therapists who are getting stuck using ACT with their > clients. Not much use for the general public. But the best stuff I've ever > written on ACT is in my most recent self-help book The Reality Slap, which > is now available in the USA, and pretty good value for money. > > > > All the best, > > Cheers, > > Russ > > > > www.actmindfully.com.au > > www.thehappinesstrap.com > > > > From: ACT_for_the_Public > [mailto:ACT_for_the_Public ] On Behalf Of Rajesh > Sent: Friday, 6 April 2012 1:42 PM > To: ACT_for_the_Public > Subject: Re: ACT workshop and defusion > > > > > > is this e course for practioiner only or can it be used by people who do not > reach for the thearpist > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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