Guest guest Posted September 9, 2002 Report Share Posted September 9, 2002 Vicki, Welcome. I'm fairly new here too. I'm in Ft Worth. Where are you at in Tx? Good luck to you! Luanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 9, 2002 Report Share Posted September 9, 2002 Welcome to the group, Vicki! Jump right in! -:|:- ----- Original Message ----- From: " renegadesangel2001 " Hi, my name is Vicki and I'm from Texas. I'm 31 and have 2 children ages 9 and 6. I just got married to a wonderful man on 2/1/01 and because of work conditions in this area, he had to get a over the road job driving a truck. My goal is to loose weight and feel great about myself and I will be able to look better every time he comes home... I am excited in joining your group and getting liter with every one of you.. Thanks, Vicki (Renegades Angel) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 8, 2008 Report Share Posted February 8, 2008 Hi,I'm new to this group. Reading through some of the messages here has been a bit of an eye opening experiance; The experances here are pretty much my life with my mother. I haven't spoken to her since leaving a voice mail the day I left for army basic training over two years ago. She threw me out of the house at 2am during Christmas break my senior year of college, because I didn't want her to buy me a new cell phone. I feel bad about not talking to her, but I also feel it's better for my own mental health and wellbeing. Unfortunatly my father is very upset about this despite having been divorced from my mother since I was 4 (I'm turning 25 next week.) We don't talk anymore either. I'm always so embaresed when I have to update the myraid forms the army requires to deal with arrangements if you're killed or seriously injured. I don't think most people understand how you can have that bad a relationship with your parents. If I'm lucky they just assume they're both dead. When I was a teenager I relised that my mother was definately not normal, and probably had some sort of mental illness. My classmates and friends didn't have parents who screamed there heads off at random times, and weren't reponsible for all the coooking, laundry and cleaning. My older sister (by 20 years) decided the BPD seemed to fit her behavior by the time I was in college. After reading some about it I'd have to say she's probably right. My mother of course denys anything's wrong, and insists we're both crazy, and ungratful. She insists she woun't speak to me until I see a psychitrist (which is fine by me, since I don't want talk to her anyhow.) My older sister's more my mother than my mother is. A lot of the time I feel like I'm doomed to live variations of my childhood over and over again. After joining the army and completing my training, I ended up joining an already deployed unit in Iraq while fairly seriously injured, where no one would talk to me and didn't want me around anymore than my mother seemed to. I sometimes feel like one of the monkeys in those experiments that's been raised in a chickenwire cage, and isn't properly socilaised to understand the other monkeys. I've been seeing a good therapist, who understands the whole millitary experiance, but he doesn't really seem to have any understanding of my weird childhood. Anyhow, I'm just glad to find that there's other people out there coping well with similiar experiances. Tee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2008 Report Share Posted February 9, 2008 Tee, I had to reply to your post. I could have written quite a bit of it. > The experances here are > pretty much my life with my mother. I haven't spoken to her since > leaving a voice mail the day I left for army basic training over two > years ago. I scheduled a time to go join the Army while my nada (term used to describe a mother that was not a mother, see WTO abbreviations under the FILES heading) was on vacation with my little brother in California. I did a delayed entry of twenty days but I literally did not call her to let her know until after I signed my papers. I would have waited until she came home but my dad guilted me into it. (I was twenty years old with no clue what I wanted to do with my life and no money) I was so scared that even my dad did not know until the day I went to the Louisville MEPS station. I did not want anyone talking me out of it. I lost almost ten pounds in those twenty days because I could not eat I was so nervous. And I did not even have a war to think about like you. Iraq part one aka Desert Storm happened while I was in my last year of service. >She threw me out of the house at 2am during Christmas > break my senior year of college, because I didn't want her to buy me > a new cell phone. I feel bad about not talking to her, but I also > feel it's better for my own mental health and wellbeing. > Unfortunatly my father is very upset about this despite having been > divorced from my mother since I was 4 (I'm turning 25 next week.) We > don't talk anymore either. Dads, even ones that are divorced from our nada's still sometimes think it is our jobs to keep the monster fed. They do not realize that they are feeding into nada's manipulations. >I'm always so embaresed when I have to > update the myraid forms the army requires to deal with arrangements > if you're killed or seriously injured. I don't think most people > understand how you can have that bad a relationship with your > parents. If I'm lucky they just assume they're both dead. That is too bad but I am sure you have your sister listed. > > When I was a teenager I relised that my mother was definately not > normal, and probably had some sort of mental illness. My classmates > and friends didn't have parents who screamed there heads off at > random times, and weren't reponsible for all the coooking, laundry > and cleaning. I know this one too. I had a schedule of when I had to do everything and in what order. I even learned how to cook my own breakfast at seven years old because I was having low blood sugar issues due to not having enough protein for breakfast. How great that you were somehow healthy enough that you saw that there was a problem. I was told by my dad that my mom had mental illness issues when I was maybe seven or eight. >My older sister (by 20 years) decided the BPD seemed > to fit her behavior by the time I was in college. After reading some > about it I'd have to say she's probably right. My mother of course > denys anything's wrong, and insists we're both crazy, and ungratful. > She insists she woun't speak to me until I see a psychitrist (which > is fine by me, since I don't want talk to her anyhow.) My older > sister's more my mother than my mother is. I guess your nada gave you a gift. NC (no contact) and accusations of being ungrateful is another nada standard. As are projections of her kids being the ones that need the psychiatric care. (man some of this stuff must be in the nada manual) > A lot of the time I feel like I'm doomed to live variations of my > childhood over and over again. After joining the army and completing > my training, I ended up joining an already deployed unit in Iraq > while fairly seriously injured, where no one would talk to me and > didn't want me around anymore than my mother seemed to. Tee, I will tell you from personal experience that the Army is very intolerant of injuries and disability of any kind. Even people that have an x-ray and proof of injury get accused of " trying to get over " . I doubt much of the language has changed in the sixteen years since I got out. Take care of you and try to remind yourself that this is the military culture. You can try to change it but I hope you have a lot of energy. It will take many more lifetimes than you and I have to give. > I sometimes feel like one of the monkeys in those experiments that's > been raised in a chickenwire cage, and isn't properly socilaised to > understand the other monkeys. I've been seeing a good therapist, who > understands the whole millitary experiance, but he doesn't really > seem to have any understanding of my weird childhood. Is your therapists open to learning about BPD? He might surprise you. Loan him a book of yours to read. If he isn't then start looking for someone else or at least keep up here because you will find tons of validation reading about yourself in someone else " s words. > Anyhow, I'm just glad to find that there's other people out there > coping well with similiar experiances. I for one am glad you are here. I wish I had this support group at twenty-five. I was curious. Are you still in the Army? MOS? If you are out what are you doing now? Me...I was in from 88-91. I was an 88mike (different now but that was a truck driver then) I am now a massage therapist for over 14 years. Hang in there you will figure it out and loose the monkey feelings. Carla Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.