Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

[Guest guest]

That sucks Tom, I know the bs that can happen in corporate/work settings so I

feel for you, and like you said, compassion can be

lacking. I don't know if the thoughts/negative emotions will stop because your

brain

is warning you about a threat in your environment and in my experience

the mind will not yield easily. I definitely think trying to reduce

stress through some exercise/sleep/diet and relaxation techniques(progressive

muscle relaxation?/Meditative Breathing?) can

help. However don't beat yourself up because of the thoughts/emotions, just try

to up your willingness to have those thoughts and emotions with defusion and

emotional acceptance.... " I notice I'm having the thought that this

review may... " etc... " I notice I'm having the feeling of nervousness...or

whatever " The mind is a master of hooking us and

send us into a tailspin, so do what you can to help the situation behaviorally

and keep defusing and accepting.

- gl.

>

> I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who will review my work

and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am not gonna make the cut.

>

> This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry, this guy is gonna be

critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so compassionate.

>

> I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am blowing this up too

much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly negative stuff.

>

> Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow down advice? self

compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i have ? etc etc? maybe

i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing out the worst case

scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

>

> Tom

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for your reply. This is what i did yesterday.

I decided i couldnt just sit on my hands and knees, i had to do something, get

off my butt and take some action, but i felt i had to get grounded, i needed

some reference point to get me pass this point.

So i downloaded Burns book, Panic Attacks, i remember reading his Feeling

Good book many years and i recall it was pretty good.

Reading thru it, i identified w all the 10 cognitive distortions, the self

defeating behaviours or thoughts SDB so to speak, and i listed all my negative

thoughts and distortions, and then i tried to come out w my positive thought,

and like the book says, that doesnt stop there, in order to heal, your positive

thought has to put a lie to the negative thoughts, it was quite a process.

But looking back to yesterday, i think i came up w my own panic attack, and then

rather than to sit on my hands and knees to suffer, i decided to take some

action steps to get better.

The one that really helped was Burns Acceptance Paradox, which is a

compassionate response, much like s' compassionate child sitting

next to you w same pain exercise. I found that exercise helped to put a lie to

my negative thought.

Anyways, i would say getting up and doing something, anything was better than

just sitting there suffering, also to have had previous self help readings and

remembering the type of books or skills that you could draw from helped, having

built up a library of self help book references helped. Doing the needed

exercises, coming up w my own positive thoughts, and then coming up w my own

positive thought that puts a lie to my negative thoughts.

I know this more CBT then ACT, but now i feel more relaxed, less panicky, i know

what i have to do, and now its only a matter of doing it, and if things dont

turn out for whatever reason, i know i can still hold myself compassionately.

Tom

> >

> > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who will review my work

and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am not gonna make the cut.

> >

> > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry, this guy is gonna be

critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so compassionate.

> >

> > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am blowing this up too

much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly negative stuff.

> >

> > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow down advice? self

compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i have ? etc etc? maybe

i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing out the worst case

scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> >

> > Tom

> >

>

[Guest guest]

That's good, I don't think ACT and Traditional CBT should be mutually exclusive,

and for sure getting active makes you feel better. I know

ACT teaches to just move forward with your negative emotions, but if

you do some thought records/cognitive restructuring with CBT and it helps you

feel better that's great, because imo if your mood improves chances are it will

be a lot easier to behave better, whatever that is in the situation, and of

course feeling better is good too :-).

Good stuff, glad you're feeling better about it.

> > >

> > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who will review my

work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am not gonna make the

cut.

> > >

> > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry, this guy is gonna

be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so compassionate.

> > >

> > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am blowing this up too

much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly negative stuff.

> > >

> > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow down advice? self

compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i have ? etc etc? maybe

i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing out the worst case

scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> > >

> > > Tom

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, im confused act or cbt how can you accept thoughts in act but cbt is about changing restructure thoughts, how can you do both?

Sent from Yahoo!7 Mail on Android

From:

ilikeact ;

To:

<ACT_for_the_Public >;

Subject:

Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

Sent:

Sun, May 6, 2012 11:41:06 PM

That's good, I don't think ACT and Traditional CBT should be mutually exclusive, and for sure getting active makes you feel better. I know

ACT teaches to just move forward with your negative emotions, but if

you do some thought records/cognitive restructuring with CBT and it helps you feel better that's great, because imo if your mood improves chances are it will be a lot easier to behave better, whatever that is in the situation, and of course feeling better is good too :-).

Good stuff, glad you're feeling better about it.

> > >

> > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who will review my work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am not gonna make the cut.

> > >

> > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry, this guy is gonna be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so compassionate.

> > >

> > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am blowing this up too much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly negative stuff.

> > >

> > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow down advice? self compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i have ? etc etc? maybe i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing out the worst case scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> > >

> > > Tom

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, im confused act or cbt how can you accept thoughts in act but cbt is about changing restructure thoughts, how can you do both?

Sent from Yahoo!7 Mail on Android

From:

ilikeact ;

To:

<ACT_for_the_Public >;

Subject:

Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

Sent:

Sun, May 6, 2012 11:41:06 PM

That's good, I don't think ACT and Traditional CBT should be mutually exclusive, and for sure getting active makes you feel better. I know

ACT teaches to just move forward with your negative emotions, but if

you do some thought records/cognitive restructuring with CBT and it helps you feel better that's great, because imo if your mood improves chances are it will be a lot easier to behave better, whatever that is in the situation, and of course feeling better is good too :-).

Good stuff, glad you're feeling better about it.

> > >

> > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who will review my work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am not gonna make the cut.

> > >

> > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry, this guy is gonna be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so compassionate.

> > >

> > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am blowing this up too much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly negative stuff.

> > >

> > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow down advice? self compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i have ? etc etc? maybe i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing out the worst case scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> > >

> > > Tom

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I don't think you could do both at the same time for the same thought. For some people, CBT may work better for certain thoughts and ACT may be more useful for others. Being flexible enough to choose which works best for you is the idea - nothing is cast in stone. CBT does not / never did work for me, and ACT does work for me. But if CBT works for others, make room for it and practice whatever works.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >, ilikeact@...Sent: Tuesday, May 8, 2012 10:22:28 AMSubject: Re: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

Hi, im confused act or cbt how can you accept thoughts in act but cbt is about changing restructure thoughts, how can you do both?

Sent from Yahoo!7 Mail on Android

; To: <ACT_for_the_Public >; Subject: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help Sent: Sun, May 6, 2012 11:41:06 PM

That's good, I don't think ACT and Traditional CBT should be mutually exclusive, and for sure getting active makes you feel better. I knowACT teaches to just move forward with your negative emotions, but ifyou do some thought records/cognitive restructuring with CBT and it helps you feel better that's great, because imo if your mood improves chances are it will be a lot easier to behave better, whatever that is in the situation, and of course feeling better is good too :-).Good stuff, glad you're feeling better about it.> > >> > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who will review my work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am not gonna make the cut.> > > > > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry, this guy is gonna be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so compassionate.> > > > > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am blowing this up too much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly negative stuff.> > > > > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow down advice? self compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i have ? etc etc? maybe i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing out the worst case scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.> > > > > > Tom> > >> >>

[Guest guest]

The way I see it, ACT asks us not to deny the thoughts. CBT also asks us not to deny the thoughts, it's heavy on going over the thought and honestly analyzing if it is a distortion (via the 10 top cognitive thought distortions) or false belief, and why. To: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >; "ilikeact@..." Sent: Tuesday, May

8, 2012 10:22 AM Subject: Re: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

Hi, im confused act or cbt how can you accept thoughts in act but cbt is about changing restructure thoughts, how can you do both?

Sent from Yahoo!7 Mail on Android

From:

ilikeact ;

To:

<ACT_for_the_Public >;

Subject:

Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

Sent:

Sun, May 6, 2012 11:41:06 PM

That's good, I don't think ACT and Traditional CBT should be mutually exclusive, and for sure getting active makes you feel better. I know

ACT teaches to just move forward with your negative emotions, but if

you do some thought records/cognitive restructuring with CBT and it helps you feel better that's great, because imo if your mood improves chances are it will be a lot easier to behave better, whatever that is in the situation, and of course feeling better is good too :-).

Good stuff, glad you're feeling better about it.

> > >

> > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who will review my work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am not gonna make the cut.

> > >

> > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry, this guy is gonna be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so compassionate.

> > >

> > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am blowing this up too much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly negative stuff.

> > >

> > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow down advice? self compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i have ? etc etc? maybe i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing out the worst case scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> > >

> > > Tom

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Like ACT, CBT uses many different tools. In CBT they might use the

acceptance parodox which seems to work well for some people, so there

can be areas where the two therapies might crossover. More modern CBT

practice is very mindfulness based and is much more acceptance

orientated. There are still bits about CBT that I like which I have

found to be useful in the past.

Kv

>

> Hi, im confused act or cbt how can you accept thoughts in act but cbt

is about changing restructure thoughts, how can you do both?

>

>

> Sent from Yahoo!7 Mail on Android

>

[Guest guest]

Lots of things from CBT as well from ACT work for me.  The key is to be open and flexible and non-dogmatic and try things out and see what works.  But not in some hodgepodge random collection of things.  There needs to be some consistency or reason in the integrations of things whether from CBT or ACT or Voodoo or whatever.

Cheers,

 

The way I see it, ACT asks us not to deny the thoughts. CBT also asks us not to deny the thoughts, it's heavy on going over the thought and honestly analyzing if it is a distortion (via the 10 top cognitive thought distortions) or false belief, and why.

To: " ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >; " ilikeact@... "

Sent: Tuesday, May

8, 2012 10:22 AM Subject: Re: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

 

Hi, im confused act or cbt how can you accept thoughts in act but cbt is about changing restructure thoughts, how can you do both?

Sent from Yahoo!7 Mail on Android

From:

ilikeact ;

To:

<ACT_for_the_Public >;

Subject:

Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

Sent:

Sun, May 6, 2012 11:41:06 PM

 

That's good, I don't think ACT and Traditional CBT should be mutually exclusive, and for sure getting active makes you feel better. I know

ACT teaches to just move forward with your negative emotions, but if

you do some thought records/cognitive restructuring with CBT and it helps you feel better that's great, because imo if your mood improves chances are it will be a lot easier to behave better, whatever that is in the situation, and of course feeling better is good too :-).

Good stuff, glad you're feeling better about it.

> > >

> > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who will review my work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am not gonna make the cut.

> > >

> > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry, this guy is gonna be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so compassionate.

> > >

> > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am blowing this up too much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly negative stuff.

> > >

> > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow down advice? self compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i have ? etc etc? maybe i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing out the worst case scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> > >

> > > Tom

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I think you can do both for the same thought.  In fact for me I think it's hard to not to.  For example, if I employ Burns' 10 cognitive distortions, I will quickly and automatically defuse from my thoughts.  When I see one of my thoughts as over-generlization or all-or-nothing thinking or mind reading, etc. I automatically looking at my thoughts from some distance - i.e. I'm defused from the thoughts.  And since these are so common with most all humans, that helps me to take it much more lightly.  And I often see my thoughts and this whole thing is a humorous way, i.e. I take my thoughts lightly.

Cheers,

 

I don't think you could do both at the same time for the same thought.  For some people, CBT may work better for certain thoughts and ACT may be more useful for others.  Being flexible enough to choose which works best for you is the idea - nothing is cast in stone.  CBT does not / never did work for me, and ACT does work for me.  But if CBT works for others, make room for it and practice whatever works.

 

Helena

To: " ACT for the Public " <ACT_for_the_Public >, ilikeact@...

Sent: Tuesday, May 8, 2012 10:22:28 AMSubject: Re: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

 

Hi, im confused act or cbt how can you accept thoughts in act but cbt is about changing restructure thoughts, how can you do both?

Sent from Yahoo!7 Mail on Android

; To: <ACT_for_the_Public >;

Subject: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help Sent: Sun, May 6, 2012 11:41:06 PM

 

That's good, I don't think ACT and Traditional CBT should be mutually exclusive, and for sure getting active makes you feel better. I knowACT teaches to just move forward with your negative emotions, but if

you do some thought records/cognitive restructuring with CBT and it helps you feel better that's great, because imo if your mood improves chances are it will be a lot easier to behave better, whatever that is in the situation, and of course feeling better is good too :-).

Good stuff, glad you're feeling better about it.

> > >> > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who will review my work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am not gonna make the cut.> > > > > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry, this guy is gonna be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so compassionate.

> > > > > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am blowing this up too much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly negative stuff.> > > > > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow down advice? self compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i have ? etc etc? maybe i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing out the worst case scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> > > > > > Tom> > >> >>

[Guest guest]

The same as me, . CBT is easy to understand and helps me to see

the illogic of my thoughts. It helps give me distance and puts things in

perspective, I then use ACT for the rest. I never purposely challenge a

thought and this can become hard work, but sometimes I can see how

alternative thoughts are just as valid.

Kv

> > > > >

> > > > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who will

review

> > my work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am not

gonna

> > make the cut.

> > > > >

> > > > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry, this

guy is

> > gonna be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so

compassionate.

> > > > >

> > > > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am blowing

this

> > up too much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly

negative

> > stuff.

> > > > >

> > > > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow down

advice?

> > self compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i have

? etc

> > etc? maybe i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing out

the

> > worst case scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> > > > >

> > > > > Tom

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi EVERYONE:-)I did CBT for a few months, and i absolutely agree that identifying Cognitive distortions is helpful. What i prefer is Russ ' 6 categories (Defusion pod cast, act in context) vs CBT's Aron Beck 12 categories (coz 6 is less than 12:-) What i prefer THE MOST is simply identifying a thought that's pulling me down as 'UNHELPFUL' . My cbt therapist would ask me, sarah; can u identify what thought ur getting caught up in right now, from the 12 categories, frankly, it was tough for me to just remember all those 12 names. Bottom line, any thought that is preventing u from moving forward in ur life in any meaningful way, is UNHELPFUL, period! Also personally, as far as identifying the thought, i am ok with it, BUT when it calls for 'replacing' it with a more rational/positive thought, i don't c a reason to do that. Our minds have been naturally created to generate both positve & neg. cognitions, & trying to do this every time we r pulled by a neg/irrational. thought, chances r, that will keep us more in our minds & less present in our moments. Also i discovered that no matter how many times i replaced a neg. thought, when in an anxiety provoking situation, it still came back, in it's original form (neg/irrational). Replacing/restructuring means, in my eyes, still some fusion with the thought CONTENT, hence the need to replace it. If we can distance ourselves from the content, & can simply take a back seat & watch it in flight, then there is no need to even replace/fix it. It won't have the same control on us. This is just my PERSONAL OPINION from my expereince with using ACT for dealing with my thoughts vs traditional cbt techniques. take care :-)-K Designs."" Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you criticize them, you're already a mile away AND you have their

shoes." ~ a very pious intellectualTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: akaivey@...Date: Tue, 8 May 2012 18:45:12 +0000Subject: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

The same as me, . CBT is easy to understand and helps me to see

the illogic of my thoughts. It helps give me distance and puts things in

perspective, I then use ACT for the rest. I never purposely challenge a

thought and this can become hard work, but sometimes I can see how

alternative thoughts are just as valid.

Kv

> > > > >

> > > > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who will

review

> > my work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am not

gonna

> > make the cut.

> > > > >

> > > > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry, this

guy is

> > gonna be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so

compassionate.

> > > > >

> > > > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am blowing

this

> > up too much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly

negative

> > stuff.

> > > > >

> > > > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow down

advice?

> > self compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i have

? etc

> > etc? maybe i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing out

the

> > worst case scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> > > > >

> > > > > Tom

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi EVERYONE:-)I did CBT for a few months, and i absolutely agree that identifying Cognitive distortions is helpful. What i prefer is Russ ' 6 categories (Defusion pod cast, act in context) vs CBT's Aron Beck 12 categories (coz 6 is less than 12:-) What i prefer THE MOST is simply identifying a thought that's pulling me down as 'UNHELPFUL' . My cbt therapist would ask me, sarah; can u identify what thought ur getting caught up in right now, from the 12 categories, frankly, it was tough for me to just remember all those 12 names. Bottom line, any thought that is preventing u from moving forward in ur life in any meaningful way, is UNHELPFUL, period! Also personally, as far as identifying the thought, i am ok with it, BUT when it calls for 'replacing' it with a more rational/positive thought, i don't c a reason to do that. Our minds have been naturally created to generate both positve & neg. cognitions, & trying to do this every time we r pulled by a neg/irrational. thought, chances r, that will keep us more in our minds & less present in our moments. Also i discovered that no matter how many times i replaced a neg. thought, when in an anxiety provoking situation, it still came back, in it's original form (neg/irrational). Replacing/restructuring means, in my eyes, still some fusion with the thought CONTENT, hence the need to replace it. If we can distance ourselves from the content, & can simply take a back seat & watch it in flight, then there is no need to even replace/fix it. It won't have the same control on us. This is just my PERSONAL OPINION from my expereince with using ACT for dealing with my thoughts vs traditional cbt techniques. take care :-)-K Designs."" Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you criticize them, you're already a mile away AND you have their

shoes." ~ a very pious intellectualTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: akaivey@...Date: Tue, 8 May 2012 18:45:12 +0000Subject: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

The same as me, . CBT is easy to understand and helps me to see

the illogic of my thoughts. It helps give me distance and puts things in

perspective, I then use ACT for the rest. I never purposely challenge a

thought and this can become hard work, but sometimes I can see how

alternative thoughts are just as valid.

Kv

> > > > >

> > > > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who will

review

> > my work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am not

gonna

> > make the cut.

> > > > >

> > > > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry, this

guy is

> > gonna be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so

compassionate.

> > > > >

> > > > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am blowing

this

> > up too much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly

negative

> > stuff.

> > > > >

> > > > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow down

advice?

> > self compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i have

? etc

> > etc? maybe i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing out

the

> > worst case scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> > > > >

> > > > > Tom

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, CBT is really easy to understand.  I think it may be that people's personality determines how much they like CBT.  I suspect that people who value logic and reason or who are into science and engineering or some kind of technical field, like CBT.

But, like Kaivey, I don't challenge or dispute thoughts much but use ACT.  But, some things can be disputed without danger of fusing.  One example is the mind reading cognitive distortion.  I can challenge and dispute my thinking that I know what others are thinking.  A friend might seem a little cold in greeting me.  I often will automatically think I did something to make my friend cold towards me.  But I don't really know.  ACT urges us to accept our emotions.  Also I think we need to accept things as they are and not just our emotions.  The way things really are is as follows: I don't really know for sure if my friend is a little peeved at me or was just lost in thought about a project he's working on at work or is upset about something else or is just tired, etc.  This kind of disputing is fine I think and especially if one keeps his or her thought light and disputes lightly.

So, I think the acceptance extends to more than just our emotions - but to reality and what is. 

 

The same as me, . CBT is easy to understand and helps me to see

the illogic of my thoughts. It helps give me distance and puts things in

perspective, I then use ACT for the rest. I never purposely challenge a

thought and this can become hard work, but sometimes I can see how

alternative thoughts are just as valid.

Kv

> > > > >

> > > > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who will

review

> > my work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am not

gonna

> > make the cut.

> > > > >

> > > > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry, this

guy is

> > gonna be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so

compassionate.

> > > > >

> > > > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am blowing

this

> > up too much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly

negative

> > stuff.

> > > > >

> > > > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow down

advice?

> > self compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i have

? etc

> > etc? maybe i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing out

the

> > worst case scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> > > > >

> > > > > Tom

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, CBT is really easy to understand.  I think it may be that people's personality determines how much they like CBT.  I suspect that people who value logic and reason or who are into science and engineering or some kind of technical field, like CBT.

But, like Kaivey, I don't challenge or dispute thoughts much but use ACT.  But, some things can be disputed without danger of fusing.  One example is the mind reading cognitive distortion.  I can challenge and dispute my thinking that I know what others are thinking.  A friend might seem a little cold in greeting me.  I often will automatically think I did something to make my friend cold towards me.  But I don't really know.  ACT urges us to accept our emotions.  Also I think we need to accept things as they are and not just our emotions.  The way things really are is as follows: I don't really know for sure if my friend is a little peeved at me or was just lost in thought about a project he's working on at work or is upset about something else or is just tired, etc.  This kind of disputing is fine I think and especially if one keeps his or her thought light and disputes lightly.

So, I think the acceptance extends to more than just our emotions - but to reality and what is. 

 

The same as me, . CBT is easy to understand and helps me to see

the illogic of my thoughts. It helps give me distance and puts things in

perspective, I then use ACT for the rest. I never purposely challenge a

thought and this can become hard work, but sometimes I can see how

alternative thoughts are just as valid.

Kv

> > > > >

> > > > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who will

review

> > my work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am not

gonna

> > make the cut.

> > > > >

> > > > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry, this

guy is

> > gonna be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so

compassionate.

> > > > >

> > > > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am blowing

this

> > up too much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly

negative

> > stuff.

> > > > >

> > > > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow down

advice?

> > self compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i have

? etc

> > etc? maybe i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing out

the

> > worst case scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> > > > >

> > > > > Tom

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

hi looking back at my panic attack, i think if i can differient the feeling is

when i see something as a THREAT, like a big threat, if there is some event, or

some thing or some encounter, i see it or perceive it as a threat, then my

flight to fight response kicks in and there was all sorts of panic buttons that

i pushed.

Then the sleepness nights, dry mouth, kick in.

I dunno how to process this, i think accepting my feelings helped, doing the

Burns cognitive exercises helped, getting up and doing or planning some action

to deal w it helped.

Also, sharing how i felt to others helped too. Some sympathy from my complaints.

Not sure if there is another way. I am thinking if i had grown up w more

experiences that tested my resilience, maybe i would not have crashed so hard as

an adult.

On the internet the other day , i was searching for resilience and

procrastination.

Tom

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who will

> > review

> > > > my work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am not

> > gonna

> > > > make the cut.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry, this

> > guy is

> > > > gonna be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so

> > compassionate.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am blowing

> > this

> > > > up too much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly

> > negative

> > > > stuff.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow down

> > advice?

> > > > self compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i have

> > ? etc

> > > > etc? maybe i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing out

> > the

> > > > worst case scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Tom

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

That's spot on, ,

Sometimes I find things so painful that I can't just let it be, I have

to challenge it and work it through. When I find some relief I can go

back to ACT.

Kv

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who

will

> > review

> > > > my work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am

not

> > gonna

> > > > make the cut.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry,

this

> > guy is

> > > > gonna be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so

> > compassionate.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am

blowing

> > this

> > > > up too much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly

> > negative

> > > > stuff.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow

down

> > advice?

> > > > self compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i

have

> > ? etc

> > > > etc? maybe i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing

out

> > the

> > > > worst case scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Tom

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thoughts don't all neatly fall into the "unhelpful - so defuse" and "helpful - so engage" category. Some negative thoughts have to be processed. When we are taking tough choices, we can't simply only engage with the positive thoughts. We often have to try to make very tough judgement calls, balancing risks and rewards. Such is life.When ACT invokes the "curious scientist", it is trying to get us to peer into the thoughts from a neutral standpoint, trying to tease out whether there is any merit to the thought, or whether the thought is heavily-laden in your mind's harsh judgements and imaginings of catastrophe. I don't see this as

being a million miles away from exercises that invite you to question your thinking to see if it stands-up to rational thought and argument. I think ACT tries to do it in a gentler way. x To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 9 May 2012, 7:21 Subject: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

That's spot on, ,

Sometimes I find things so painful that I can't just let it be, I have

to challenge it and work it through. When I find some relief I can go

back to ACT.

Kv

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who

will

> > review

> > > > my work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am

not

> > gonna

> > > > make the cut.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry,

this

> > guy is

> > > > gonna be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so

> > compassionate.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am

blowing

> > this

> > > > up too much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly

> > negative

> > > > stuff.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow

down

> > advice?

> > > > self compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i

have

> > ? etc

> > > > etc? maybe i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing

out

> > the

> > > > worst case scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Tom

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi :-)<<

When ACT invokes the "curious scientist", it is trying to get us to peer into the thoughts from a neutral standpoint, trying to tease out whether there is any merit to the thought, or whether the thought is heavily-laden in your mind's harsh judgements and imaginings of catastrophe. >>>Absolutely agree with u oscar, & if i were to summarise these 2 lines in 2 words, i say 'helfpul vs unhelpful. Personally, i don't believe i throw my thoughts into 2 categories of helfpul or unhelpful without 1st playing the role of a curious scientist, then bringing my values into this equation, as that is one of the key things that helps me make 'the choice'. <<

When we are taking tough choices, we can't simply only engage with the positive thoughts.>>> Absolutely! & & once again, for me my values serves as a guide during such tough choices.<<

I think ACT tries to do it in a gentler way.>>>YES! & for me that gentler way is SELF COMPASSION, that is the biggest tool that ACT has taught me to cultivate. & personally, that is what has helped me change my perspective on my life & all my sufferings. English is not my primary language/mother tongue, so if my email sounds off, i do apologize. Your email was a great reminder for me & i thank u for that oscar. bye:-)-K Designs."" Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you criticize them, you're already a mile away AND you have their

shoes." ~ a very pious intellectualTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: oscar.robson@...Date: Wed, 9 May 2012 09:39:56 +0100Subject: Re: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

Thoughts don't all neatly fall into the "unhelpful - so defuse" and "helpful - so engage" category. Some negative thoughts have to be processed. When we are taking tough choices, we can't simply only engage with the positive thoughts. We often have to try to make very tough judgement calls, balancing risks and rewards. Such is life.When ACT invokes the "curious scientist", it is trying to get us to peer into the thoughts from a neutral standpoint, trying to tease out whether there is any merit to the thought, or whether the thought is heavily-laden in your mind's harsh judgements and imaginings of catastrophe. I don't see this as

being a million miles away from exercises that invite you to question your thinking to see if it stands-up to rational thought and argument. I think ACT tries to do it in a gentler way. x To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 9 May 2012, 7:21 Subject: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

That's spot on, ,

Sometimes I find things so painful that I can't just let it be, I have

to challenge it and work it through. When I find some relief I can go

back to ACT.

Kv

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who

will

> > review

> > > > my work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am

not

> > gonna

> > > > make the cut.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry,

this

> > guy is

> > > > gonna be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so

> > compassionate.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am

blowing

> > this

> > > > up too much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly

> > negative

> > > > stuff.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow

down

> > advice?

> > > > self compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i

have

> > ? etc

> > > > etc? maybe i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing

out

> > the

> > > > worst case scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Tom

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi , l wonder if by act therapy refering to helpful or unhelpful thought is like positive or negative thoughts in cbt thats refered to. In cbt isnt it possibly, not sure, that by changing a negative thought to a positive more helpful thought is re training the brain, making new neural pathways in a plasticy brain, .

Sent from Yahoo!7 Mail on Android

From:

Khan ;

To:

<act_for_the_public >;

Subject:

RE: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

Sent:

Wed, May 9, 2012 3:14:43 PM

Hi :-)<<

When ACT invokes the " curious scientist " , it is trying to get us to peer into the thoughts from a neutral standpoint, trying to tease out whether there is any merit to the thought, or whether the thought is heavily-laden in your mind's harsh judgements and imaginings of catastrophe. >>>Absolutely agree with u oscar, & if i were to summarise these 2 lines in 2 words, i say 'helfpul vs unhelpful. Personally, i don't believe i throw my thoughts into 2 categories of helfpul or unhelpful without 1st playing the role of a curious scientist, then bringing my values into this equation, as that is one of the key things that helps me make 'the choice'. <<

When we are taking tough choices, we can't simply only engage with the positive thoughts.>>> Absolutely! & & once again, for me my values serves as a guide during such tough choices.<<

I think ACT tries to do it in a gentler way.>>>YES! & for me that gentler way is SELF COMPASSION, that is the biggest tool that ACT has taught me to cultivate. & personally, that is what has helped me change my perspective on my life & all my sufferings. English is not my primary language/mother tongue, so if my email sounds off, i do apologize. Your email was a great reminder for me & i thank u for that oscar. bye:-)-K Designs. " " Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you criticize them, you're already a mile away AND you have their

shoes. " ~ a very pious intellectualTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: oscar.robson@...Date: Wed, 9 May 2012 09:39:56 +0100Subject: Re: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

Thoughts don't all neatly fall into the " unhelpful - so defuse " and " helpful - so engage " category. Some negative thoughts have to be processed. When we are taking tough choices, we can't simply only engage with the positive thoughts. We often have to try to make very tough judgement calls, balancing risks and rewards. Such is life.When ACT invokes the " curious scientist " , it is trying to get us to peer into the thoughts from a neutral standpoint, trying to tease out whether there is any merit to the thought, or whether the thought is heavily-laden in your mind's harsh judgements and imaginings of catastrophe.

I don't see this as

being a million miles away from exercises that invite you to question your thinking to see if it stands-up to rational thought and argument. I think ACT tries to do it in a gentler way. x To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 9 May 2012, 7:21 Subject: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

That's spot on, ,

Sometimes I find things so painful that I can't just let it be, I have

to challenge it and work it through. When I find some relief I can go

back to ACT.

Kv

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who

will

> > review

> > > > my work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am

not

> > gonna

> > > > make the cut.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry,

this

> > guy is

> > > > gonna be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so

> > compassionate.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am

blowing

> > this

> > > > up too much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly

> > negative

> > > > stuff.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow

down

> > advice?

> > > > self compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i

have

> > ? etc

> > > > etc? maybe i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing

out

> > the

> > > > worst case scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Tom

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Your emails have always been clear (and a pleasure) to read, x To: act_for_the_public Sent: Wednesday, 9 May 2012, 16:14 Subject: RE: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

Hi :-)<<

When ACT invokes the "curious scientist", it is trying to get us to peer into the thoughts from a neutral standpoint, trying to tease out whether there is any merit to the thought, or whether the thought is heavily-laden in your mind's harsh judgements and imaginings of catastrophe. >>>Absolutely agree with u oscar, & if i were to summarise these 2 lines in 2 words, i say 'helfpul vs unhelpful. Personally, i don't believe i throw my thoughts into 2 categories of helfpul or unhelpful without 1st playing the role of a curious scientist, then bringing my values into this equation, as that is one of the key things that helps me make 'the choice'. <<

When we are taking tough choices, we can't simply only engage with the positive thoughts.>>> Absolutely! & & once again, for me my values serves as a guide during such tough choices.<<

I think ACT tries to do it in a gentler way.>>>YES! & for me that gentler way is SELF COMPASSION, that is the biggest tool that ACT has taught me to cultivate. & personally, that is what has helped me change my perspective on my life & all my sufferings. English is not my primary language/mother tongue, so if my email sounds off, i do apologize. Your email was a great reminder for me & i thank u for that oscar. bye:-)-K Designs."" Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

That way, when you criticize them, you're already a mile away AND you have their

shoes." ~ a very pious intellectualTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: oscar.robson@...Date: Wed, 9 May 2012 09:39:56 +0100Subject: Re: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

Thoughts don't all neatly fall into the "unhelpful - so defuse" and "helpful - so engage" category. Some negative thoughts have to be processed. When we are taking tough choices, we can't simply only engage with the positive thoughts. We often have to try to make very tough judgement calls, balancing risks and rewards. Such is life.When ACT invokes the "curious scientist", it is trying to get us to peer into the thoughts from a neutral standpoint, trying to tease out whether there is any merit to the thought, or whether the thought is heavily-laden in your mind's harsh judgements and imaginings of catastrophe.

I don't see this as

being a million miles away from exercises that invite you to question your thinking to see if it stands-up to rational thought and argument. I think ACT tries to do it in a gentler way. x To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 9 May 2012, 7:21 Subject: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

That's spot on, ,

Sometimes I find things so painful that I can't just let it be, I have

to challenge it and work it through. When I find some relief I can go

back to ACT.

Kv

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I am feeling stressed out at work, there is someone who

will

> > review

> > > > my work and i am feeling stressed out that he is gonna say i am

not

> > gonna

> > > > make the cut.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > This feeling makes my stomach tight and my throat dry,

this

> > guy is

> > > > gonna be critical and by the book, and so not gonna be so

> > compassionate.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I know my mind is gonna on fast track, and maybe i am

blowing

> > this

> > > > up too much.. but, the thoughts just seem to keep coming, mostly

> > negative

> > > > stuff.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Anyways, not sure what to ask for here, maybe some slow

down

> > advice?

> > > > self compassionate stuff? not to dismiss all the good things i

have

> > ? etc

> > > > etc? maybe i am catastrophizing , my thoughts seem to be playing

out

> > the

> > > > worst case scenario, making me feel like some inadequacy.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Tom

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Nicely put, , a very clearly stated summary, and some helpful analogies.D

 

Thoughts don't all neatly fall into the " unhelpful - so defuse " and " helpful - so engage " category.  

Some negative thoughts have to be processed.  When we are taking tough choices, we can't simply only engage with the positive thoughts.  We often have to try to make very tough judgement calls, balancing risks and rewards.  Such is life.

When ACT invokes the " curious scientist " , it is trying to get us to peer into the thoughts from a neutral standpoint, trying to tease out whether there is any merit to the thought, or whether the thought is heavily-laden in your mind's harsh judgements and imaginings of catastrophe. 

I don't see this as

being a million miles away from exercises that invite you to question your thinking to see if it stands-up to rational thought and argument.  I think ACT tries to do it in a gentler way.

x

To: ACT_for_the_Public

Sent: Wednesday, 9 May 2012, 7:21 Subject: Re: feeling stress at work, need some help

 

That's spot on, ,

Sometimes I find things so painful that I can't just let it be, I have

to challenge it and work it through. When I find some relief I can go

back to ACT.

Kv

> > >

> > > > **

> >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > I don't think you could do both at the same time for the same

> > thought.

> > > > For some people, CBT may work better for certain thoughts and

ACT

> > may be

> > > > more useful for others. Being flexible enough to choose which

works

> > best

> > > > for you is the idea - nothing is cast in stone. CBT does not /

never

> > did

> > > > work for me, and ACT does work for me. But if CBT works for

others,

> > make

> > > > room for it and practice whatever works.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Helena

> > > >

> > > > ------------------------------

> > > >

> > > > *From: * " Vi c Vi " btlot@

> > > > *To: * " ACT for the Public "

-- Darrell G King, RN, CASAC-TRochester, NY, UShttp://darrellking.comDarrellGKing@...