well, it wasn't *that* bad...

[Guest guest]

Ok, so I was thinking about the posts lately where people say, " Well,

I wasn't [hit, strangled, locked in a closet, starved, deprived,

etc.], so I guess the abuse wasnt *that* bad. "

I've said the same thing myself.

Yesterday, though, I thought about the opposite extreme. For

example, I like to sing, and I'm pretty good at it. I know there are

others out there who are far more talented and experienced. Does

that mean that I'm not a good singer just because someone out there

is better than me? NO. I am still a talented musician.

There is always someone out there who is better or prettier or

smarter, etc., but that doesn't negate our own positive qualities.

Similarly, just because there is someone out there who endured

harsher abuse doesn't negate our own. It's not a competition.

I know somehow comparing our situation to others' must make us

somehow feel better about it, but I guess we need to consider that it

can be a little dangerous if it makes us deny that anything bad went

on at all. I think it's important that we recognize our own pain as

valid.

Anyway, just some thoughts on the matter...

kt