Why forgive?

[Guest guest]

Why forgive? I read about it and I have talked about with my

therapist. There is an anger in me that is deep ... and before I

forgive my mother and sister, I want JUSTICE. I was the person who

was weak, beaten, and down trodden... victimized. When I asked for

mercy, I did not get it. Why should I bother to hand forgiveness out?

It just ticks me off(I wanted use stronger language!) that people

tell me this forgiveness garbage. I feel like saying " sure that easy

for you to say... let me beat you for awhile and see if you forgive

me. " Ha. You know what I want? I want JUSTICE. If I had a dream, it

would be to hire a 12 foot tall Judge Judy as my personal body guard

whose job is to always protect me. I want a judge to say I declare

you NOT CRAZY, and what your mother and sister have done is the worst

offense in the world. I want the judge to validate me, AND declare

that all the abuse was and is WRONG. And, it is NO WAY to treat

another human being. And, I have to say that if I am honest with the

feelings that are on my heart... I would like ten minutes in a boxing

ring with them ... five minutes alone in a room to dish back some of

the crap that was dish out to me. BPD people have all this freedom

and no one stops them. To me, they are bullies and it just doesn't

seem right to let them off the hook for all this garbage, and it

makes very very angry. I don't know if it is going overboard here,

but I have been to a German consentration camp. I just don't

understand the neighbors to a camp could ignore it and ignore the

people. It was like that for me with my BPD mother... everyone

watched... some joined in on the abuse... no one was the hero... no

one was a 12 foot tall Judge Judy. I think forgiveness is just plan

stupid, and it sets a person up for more abuse. Justice is my choice.