age and acting out

[Guest guest]

I found out about BPD, sort of, when Toxic Parents first came out- back

somewhere in the 90s. Kept looking for more info because it was the first time

something seemed so right, and found Randi s site through an internet search

about 1997. Stayed a couple of years while working with a therapist and was

greatly helped. Went NC for a few years, went off list to live some life, and

got lured back through one of nada s semi annual death scenes. She is still

going strong.

But wanted to mention, for some of you who are dealing with nada s in their 50s,

mine went into extreme acting out in those years, really whacko, for someone who

had maintained the external facade as a prim and proper schoolteacher. I wonder

if it was menopause, declining faculties or something else. SHe would go into

what is clearly a psychotic break, a different reality that was alarming to

watch. My stepfather sent her to me ( 600 miles away!)for a couple of weeks

because he said if she didnt stop attacking my teenage sister, he d leave her.

But other people started to witness the rages and the breaks; she could throw

major tantrums over a waitress she deemed slow, she would make racists taunts

that I had never heard before,she yelled out at ,my tiny cousin's wedding- Why

she's BULEMIC! See She s BULEMIC!!!, which the assembled politely ignored until

I could shut her up. ( Which I did by redirecting the rage at myself).

Now days she doesnt demonstrate the rages at least if not provoked; though she

was as hateful as ever to my stepfather until he died last december.

I dont know if anyone else sees a pattern; they used to say BPD s got better as

they aged, but those years were a nightmare. SHe has broadened her repertoire

which may takes the place of rages, at least I dont see them now, but I dont

provoke her either. She is living on her own which she hates, and I am waiting

to see if she deteriorates without someone else to blame for her daily

tribulations.

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