Re: feel the fear do it anyway book

[Guest guest]

It's good advice, but I would add to it that the experiencing of a difficult emotion must take place gently, compassionately and without judgement or it can compound the trauma that's often at its root. This is also ACT-consistent, but Raphael Cushnir goes more deeply into it in a way I find very, very helpful. 

Read an interview with him here:http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-connection/200901/unleashing-the-power-emotional-connection 

JimPS--There's a phenomenal interview with him entitled " The Power of Emotional Connection " on the Soundstrue podcast page on iTunes.

 

Yes, I read several years ago.  It's definitely very ACT like.  I don't recall it being based on ACT.  It's a very good book.  Other books by same author are not very good, but this one is one of the best self help books of all time.

Sent from my iPad

 

Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based on act the therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like a very motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure

From:

Rajesh ;

To:

<ACT_for_the_Public >;

Subject:

choice

Sent:

Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM

 

My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in choices.

Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will be get stuck like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the choice point by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.

I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off people for reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in different perspective and can write something useful to me.

there is suffering inherent in every choice, includingthe choice not to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary valuein a choice. We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and findlater that we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous andmean-spirited way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own histo¬ries.) The possibility of one of these negative outcomes is psychologicallyinherent in the choice—it is why the choice is hard (and avoided). Now theissue of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to examine theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is that what we want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and defusion in this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic possibilities dance—that place onthe brink of choice.

This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations predominate. One is toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should I-shouldn't I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should and reasons weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip decisively and tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second option is to justchoose—but in the service of ending the burden this frightening psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what we want our lives to stand for?We explore both of these options with clients. We first take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk up to the edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the pressure; we then back up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and minuses. We examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in an experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel the anxiety, notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the

peak of anxiety, we choose a direction—explicitly in the service ofending the anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also thethought, " What if I had chosen the other way? " In both of these scenarios,the choice occurs psychologically as a " must " and as a " must do cor¬rectly " —both psychological aspects of the choice that begs for defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack of freedom. There is athird path. Camus describes it best in " An Absurd Reasoning " : " The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as that is possible, and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant regions. Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this inhuman show in which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their dialogue "  (1955, p.   8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a psychological space where the client canstand rather than have to jump forward or backward?

To us, that is theplace from which choices with the most vitality emerge—that place whereeven whether to choose occurs psychologically as choice.

Also in

" get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl) " book steve hayes say choice are to be made for there sake not for or against reason and it gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice even when there are for and against reason for selection.

Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN EVERDAY LIFE DECISION.

P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for understanding and liberation for realization " .

[Guest guest]

Jim,I don't recall anything in Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway advocating to face difficult emotions roughly, non-compassionately and with judgement.

 

It's good advice, but I would add to it that the experiencing of a difficult emotion must take place gently, compassionately and without judgement or it can compound the trauma that's often at its root. This is also ACT-consistent, but Raphael Cushnir goes more deeply into it in a way I find very, very helpful. 

Read an interview with him here:http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-connection/200901/unleashing-the-power-emotional-connection 

JimPS--There's a phenomenal interview with him entitled " The Power of Emotional Connection " on the Soundstrue podcast page on iTunes.

 

Yes, I read several years ago.  It's definitely very ACT like.  I don't recall it being based on ACT.  It's a very good book.  Other books by same author are not very good, but this one is one of the best self help books of all time.

Sent from my iPad

 

Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based on act the therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like a very motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure

From:

Rajesh ;

To:

<ACT_for_the_Public >;

Subject:

choice

Sent:

Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM

 

My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in choices.

Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will be get stuck like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the choice point by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.

I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off people for reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in different perspective and can write something useful to me.

there is suffering inherent in every choice, includingthe choice not to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary valuein a choice. We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and findlater that we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous andmean-spirited way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own histo¬ries.) The possibility of one of these negative outcomes is psychologicallyinherent in the choice—it is why the choice is hard (and avoided). Now theissue of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to examine theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is that what we want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and defusion in this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic possibilities dance—that place onthe brink of choice.

This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations predominate. One is toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should I-shouldn't I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should and reasons weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip decisively and tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second option is to justchoose—but in the service of ending the burden this frightening psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what we want our lives to stand for?We explore both of these options with clients. We first take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk up to the edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the pressure; we then back up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and minuses. We examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in an experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel the anxiety, notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the

peak of anxiety, we choose a direction—explicitly in the service ofending the anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also thethought, " What if I had chosen the other way? " In both of these scenarios,the choice occurs psychologically as a " must " and as a " must do cor¬rectly " —both psychological aspects of the choice that begs for defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack of freedom. There is athird path. Camus describes it best in " An Absurd Reasoning " : " The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as that is possible, and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant regions. Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this inhuman show in which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their dialogue "  (1955, p.   8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a psychological space where the client canstand rather than have to jump forward or backward?

To us, that is theplace from which choices with the most vitality emerge—that place whereeven whether to choose occurs psychologically as choice.

Also in

" get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl) " book steve hayes say choice are to be made for there sake not for or against reason and it gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice even when there are for and against reason for selection.

Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN EVERDAY LIFE DECISION.

P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for understanding and liberation for realization " .

[Guest guest]

Hi Russel,Of course not. I wasn't implying that there was.  But Raphael Cushnir's take on experiencing difficult emotions goes to another level. It's definitely worth checking out.

Jim

 

Jim,I don't recall anything in Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway advocating to face difficult emotions roughly, non-compassionately and with judgement.

 

It's good advice, but I would add to it that the experiencing of a difficult emotion must take place gently, compassionately and without judgement or it can compound the trauma that's often at its root. This is also ACT-consistent, but Raphael Cushnir goes more deeply into it in a way I find very, very helpful. 

Read an interview with him here:http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-connection/200901/unleashing-the-power-emotional-connection 

JimPS--There's a phenomenal interview with him entitled " The Power of Emotional Connection " on the Soundstrue podcast page on iTunes.

 

Yes, I read several years ago.  It's definitely very ACT like.  I don't recall it being based on ACT.  It's a very good book.  Other books by same author are not very good, but this one is one of the best self help books of all time.

Sent from my iPad

 

Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based on act the therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like a very motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure

From:

Rajesh ;

To:

<ACT_for_the_Public >;

Subject:

choice

Sent:

Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM

 

My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in choices.

Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will be get stuck like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the choice point by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.

I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off people for reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in different perspective and can write something useful to me.

there is suffering inherent in every choice, includingthe choice not to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary valuein a choice. We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and findlater that we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous andmean-spirited way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own histo¬ries.) The possibility of one of these negative outcomes is psychologicallyinherent in the choice—it is why the choice is hard (and avoided). Now theissue of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to examine theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is that what we want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and defusion in this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic possibilities dance—that place onthe brink of choice.

This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations predominate. One is toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should I-shouldn't I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should and reasons weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip decisively and tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second option is to justchoose—but in the service of ending the burden this frightening psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what we want our lives to stand for?We explore both of these options with clients. We first take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk up to the edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the pressure; we then back up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and minuses. We examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in an experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel the anxiety, notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the

peak of anxiety, we choose a direction—explicitly in the service ofending the anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also thethought, " What if I had chosen the other way? " In both of these scenarios,the choice occurs psychologically as a " must " and as a " must do cor¬rectly " —both psychological aspects of the choice that begs for defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack of freedom. There is athird path. Camus describes it best in " An Absurd Reasoning " : " The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as that is possible, and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant regions. Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this inhuman show in which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their dialogue "  (1955, p.   8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a psychological space where the client canstand rather than have to jump forward or backward?

To us, that is theplace from which choices with the most vitality emerge—that place whereeven whether to choose occurs psychologically as choice.

Also in

" get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl) " book steve hayes say choice are to be made for there sake not for or against reason and it gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice even when there are for and against reason for selection.

Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN EVERDAY LIFE DECISION.

P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for understanding and liberation for realization " .

[Guest guest]

Sounds to me this Cushnir guy's another level might be more along the lines of experiencial avoidance.As I recall, Feel the Fear Theme is that so many things you may want to do will come along with fear.  If you worry so much about not feeling fear than you end up avoiding doing things you value or is in your interest to do.  Sounds a lot like ACT, right?

So to live the life you want you have to feel unpleasant emotions like fear.  This going to another level I am pretty sure is about attempting to do something that you hope will avoid or at least greatly reduce unpleasant emotions such as fear.

There is nothing forcing or rough and being tough and calling you a chicken if you don't do it anyway.  But it does face the reality that to live a life you value you will have unpleasant emotions like fear.

 

Hi Russel,Of course not. I wasn't implying that there was.  But Raphael Cushnir's take on experiencing difficult emotions goes to another level. It's definitely worth checking out.

Jim

 

Jim,I don't recall anything in Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway advocating to face difficult emotions roughly, non-compassionately and with judgement.

 

It's good advice, but I would add to it that the experiencing of a difficult emotion must take place gently, compassionately and without judgement or it can compound the trauma that's often at its root. This is also ACT-consistent, but Raphael Cushnir goes more deeply into it in a way I find very, very helpful. 

Read an interview with him here:http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-connection/200901/unleashing-the-power-emotional-connection 

JimPS--There's a phenomenal interview with him entitled " The Power of Emotional Connection " on the Soundstrue podcast page on iTunes.

 

Yes, I read several years ago.  It's definitely very ACT like.  I don't recall it being based on ACT.  It's a very good book.  Other books by same author are not very good, but this one is one of the best self help books of all time.

Sent from my iPad

 

Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based on act the therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like a very motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure

From:

Rajesh ;

To:

<ACT_for_the_Public >;

Subject:

choice

Sent:

Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM

 

My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in choices.

Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will be get stuck like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the choice point by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.

I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off people for reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in different perspective and can write something useful to me.

there is suffering inherent in every choice, includingthe choice not to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary valuein a choice. We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and findlater that we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous andmean-spirited way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own histo¬ries.) The possibility of one of these negative outcomes is psychologicallyinherent in the choice—it is why the choice is hard (and avoided). Now theissue of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to examine theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is that what we want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and defusion in this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic possibilities dance—that place onthe brink of choice.

This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations predominate. One is toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should I-shouldn't I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should and reasons weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip decisively and tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second option is to justchoose—but in the service of ending the burden this frightening psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what we want our lives to stand for?We explore both of these options with clients. We first take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk up to the edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the pressure; we then back up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and minuses. We examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in an experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel the anxiety, notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the

peak of anxiety, we choose a direction—explicitly in the service ofending the anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also thethought, " What if I had chosen the other way? " In both of these scenarios,the choice occurs psychologically as a " must " and as a " must do cor¬rectly " —both psychological aspects of the choice that begs for defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack of freedom. There is athird path. Camus describes it best in " An Absurd Reasoning " : " The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as that is possible, and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant regions. Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this inhuman show in which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their dialogue "  (1955, p.   8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a psychological space where the client canstand rather than have to jump forward or backward?

To us, that is theplace from which choices with the most vitality emerge—that place whereeven whether to choose occurs psychologically as choice.

Also in

" get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl) " book steve hayes say choice are to be made for there sake not for or against reason and it gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice even when there are for and against reason for selection.

Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN EVERDAY LIFE DECISION.

P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for understanding and liberation for realization " .

[Guest guest]

I meant to say in Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway There is nothing forcing or rough and being tough and calling you a chicken if you don't do it anyway.  But it does face the reality that to

live a life you value you will have unpleasant emotions like fear.

Sounds to me this Cushnir guy's another level might be more along the lines of experiencial avoidance.As I recall, Feel the Fear Theme is that so many things you may want to do will come along with fear.  If you worry so much about not feeling fear than you end up avoiding doing things you value or is in your interest to do.  Sounds a lot like ACT, right?

So to live the life you want you have to feel unpleasant emotions like fear.  This going to another level I am pretty sure is about attempting to do something that you hope will avoid or at least greatly reduce unpleasant emotions such as fear.

There is nothing forcing or rough and being tough and calling you a chicken if you don't do it anyway.  But it does face the reality that to live a life you value you will have unpleasant emotions like fear.

 

Hi Russel,Of course not. I wasn't implying that there was.  But Raphael Cushnir's take on experiencing difficult emotions goes to another level. It's definitely worth checking out.

Jim

 

Jim,I don't recall anything in Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway advocating to face difficult emotions roughly, non-compassionately and with judgement.

 

It's good advice, but I would add to it that the experiencing of a difficult emotion must take place gently, compassionately and without judgement or it can compound the trauma that's often at its root. This is also ACT-consistent, but Raphael Cushnir goes more deeply into it in a way I find very, very helpful. 

Read an interview with him here:http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-connection/200901/unleashing-the-power-emotional-connection 

JimPS--There's a phenomenal interview with him entitled " The Power of Emotional Connection " on the Soundstrue podcast page on iTunes.

 

Yes, I read several years ago.  It's definitely very ACT like.  I don't recall it being based on ACT.  It's a very good book.  Other books by same author are not very good, but this one is one of the best self help books of all time.

Sent from my iPad

 

Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based on act the therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like a very motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure

From:

Rajesh ;

To:

<ACT_for_the_Public >;

Subject:

choice

Sent:

Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM

 

My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in choices.

Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will be get stuck like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the choice point by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.

I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off people for reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in different perspective and can write something useful to me.

there is suffering inherent in every choice, includingthe choice not to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary valuein a choice. We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and findlater that we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous andmean-spirited way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own histo¬ries.) The possibility of one of these negative outcomes is psychologicallyinherent in the choice—it is why the choice is hard (and avoided). Now theissue of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to examine theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is that what we want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and defusion in this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic possibilities dance—that place onthe brink of choice.

This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations predominate. One is toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should I-shouldn't I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should and reasons weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip decisively and tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second option is to justchoose—but in the service of ending the burden this frightening psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what we want our lives to stand for?We explore both of these options with clients. We first take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk up to the edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the pressure; we then back up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and minuses. We examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in an experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel the anxiety, notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the

peak of anxiety, we choose a direction—explicitly in the service ofending the anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also thethought, " What if I had chosen the other way? " In both of these scenarios,the choice occurs psychologically as a " must " and as a " must do cor¬rectly " —both psychological aspects of the choice that begs for defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack of freedom. There is athird path. Camus describes it best in " An Absurd Reasoning " : " The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as that is possible, and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant regions. Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this inhuman show in which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their dialogue "  (1955, p.   8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a psychological space where the client canstand rather than have to jump forward or backward?

To us, that is theplace from which choices with the most vitality emerge—that place whereeven whether to choose occurs psychologically as choice.

Also in

" get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl) " book steve hayes say choice are to be made for there sake not for or against reason and it gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice even when there are for and against reason for selection.

Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN EVERDAY LIFE DECISION.

P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for understanding and liberation for realization " .

[Guest guest]

 Where in the linked interview does Cushnir suggest it's good to avoid unpleasant feelings or the situations that bring them on? 

 

Sounds to me this Cushnir guy's another level might be more along the lines of experiencial avoidance.As I recall, Feel the Fear Theme is that so many things you may want to do will come along with fear.  If you worry so much about not feeling fear than you end up avoiding doing things you value or is in your interest to do.  Sounds a lot like ACT, right?

So to live the life you want you have to feel unpleasant emotions like fear.  This going to another level I am pretty sure is about attempting to do something that you hope will avoid or at least greatly reduce unpleasant emotions such as fear.

There is nothing forcing or rough and being tough and calling you a chicken if you don't do it anyway.  But it does face the reality that to live a life you value you will have unpleasant emotions like fear.

 

Hi Russel,Of course not. I wasn't implying that there was.  But Raphael Cushnir's take on experiencing difficult emotions goes to another level. It's definitely worth checking out.

Jim

 

Jim,I don't recall anything in Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway advocating to face difficult emotions roughly, non-compassionately and with judgement.

 

It's good advice, but I would add to it that the experiencing of a difficult emotion must take place gently, compassionately and without judgement or it can compound the trauma that's often at its root. This is also ACT-consistent, but Raphael Cushnir goes more deeply into it in a way I find very, very helpful. 

Read an interview with him here:http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-connection/200901/unleashing-the-power-emotional-connection 

JimPS--There's a phenomenal interview with him entitled " The Power of Emotional Connection " on the Soundstrue podcast page on iTunes.

 

Yes, I read several years ago.  It's definitely very ACT like.  I don't recall it being based on ACT.  It's a very good book.  Other books by same author are not very good, but this one is one of the best self help books of all time.

Sent from my iPad

 

Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based on act the therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like a very motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure

From:

Rajesh ;

To:

<ACT_for_the_Public >;

Subject:

choice

Sent:

Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM

 

My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in choices.

Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will be get stuck like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the choice point by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.

I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off people for reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in different perspective and can write something useful to me.

there is suffering inherent in every choice, includingthe choice not to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary valuein a choice. We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and findlater that we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous andmean-spirited way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own histo¬ries.) The possibility of one of these negative outcomes is psychologicallyinherent in the choice—it is why the choice is hard (and avoided). Now theissue of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to examine theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is that what we want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and defusion in this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic possibilities dance—that place onthe brink of choice.

This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations predominate. One is toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should I-shouldn't I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should and reasons weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip decisively and tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second option is to justchoose—but in the service of ending the burden this frightening psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what we want our lives to stand for?We explore both of these options with clients. We first take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk up to the edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the pressure; we then back up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and minuses. We examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in an experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel the anxiety, notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the

peak of anxiety, we choose a direction—explicitly in the service ofending the anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also thethought, " What if I had chosen the other way? " In both of these scenarios,the choice occurs psychologically as a " must " and as a " must do cor¬rectly " —both psychological aspects of the choice that begs for defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack of freedom. There is athird path. Camus describes it best in " An Absurd Reasoning " : " The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as that is possible, and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant regions. Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this inhuman show in which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their dialogue "  (1955, p.   8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a psychological space where the client canstand rather than have to jump forward or backward?

To us, that is theplace from which choices with the most vitality emerge—that place whereeven whether to choose occurs psychologically as choice.

Also in

" get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl) " book steve hayes say choice are to be made for there sake not for or against reason and it gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice even when there are for and against reason for selection.

Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN EVERDAY LIFE DECISION.

P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for understanding and liberation for realization " .

[Guest guest]

No, but your writing, " It's good advice, but I would add to it that the experiencing of a difficult emotion must take place gently, compassionately and without judgement or it can compound the trauma that's often at its root. " indicates some wishful thinking that there is a way to get around difficult emotions.

 

 Where in the linked interview does Cushnir suggest it's good to avoid unpleasant feelings or the situations that bring them on? 

 

Sounds to me this Cushnir guy's another level might be more along the lines of experiencial avoidance.As I recall, Feel the Fear Theme is that so many things you may want to do will come along with fear.  If you worry so much about not feeling fear than you end up avoiding doing things you value or is in your interest to do.  Sounds a lot like ACT, right?

So to live the life you want you have to feel unpleasant emotions like fear.  This going to another level I am pretty sure is about attempting to do something that you hope will avoid or at least greatly reduce unpleasant emotions such as fear.

There is nothing forcing or rough and being tough and calling you a chicken if you don't do it anyway.  But it does face the reality that to live a life you value you will have unpleasant emotions like fear.

 

Hi Russel,Of course not. I wasn't implying that there was.  But Raphael Cushnir's take on experiencing difficult emotions goes to another level. It's definitely worth checking out.

Jim

 

Jim,I don't recall anything in Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway advocating to face difficult emotions roughly, non-compassionately and with judgement.

 

It's good advice, but I would add to it that the experiencing of a difficult emotion must take place gently, compassionately and without judgement or it can compound the trauma that's often at its root. This is also ACT-consistent, but Raphael Cushnir goes more deeply into it in a way I find very, very helpful. 

Read an interview with him here:http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-connection/200901/unleashing-the-power-emotional-connection 

JimPS--There's a phenomenal interview with him entitled " The Power of Emotional Connection " on the Soundstrue podcast page on iTunes.

 

Yes, I read several years ago.  It's definitely very ACT like.  I don't recall it being based on ACT.  It's a very good book.  Other books by same author are not very good, but this one is one of the best self help books of all time.

Sent from my iPad

 

Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based on act the therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like a very motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure

From:

Rajesh ;

To:

<ACT_for_the_Public >;

Subject:

choice

Sent:

Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM

 

My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in choices.

Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will be get stuck like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the choice point by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.

I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off people for reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in different perspective and can write something useful to me.

there is suffering inherent in every choice, includingthe choice not to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary valuein a choice. We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and findlater that we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous andmean-spirited way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own histo¬ries.) The possibility of one of these negative outcomes is psychologicallyinherent in the choice—it is why the choice is hard (and avoided). Now theissue of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to examine theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is that what we want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and defusion in this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic possibilities dance—that place onthe brink of choice.

This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations predominate. One is toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should I-shouldn't I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should and reasons weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip decisively and tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second option is to justchoose—but in the service of ending the burden this frightening psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what we want our lives to stand for?We explore both of these options with clients. We first take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk up to the edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the pressure; we then back up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and minuses. We examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in an experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel the anxiety, notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the

peak of anxiety, we choose a direction—explicitly in the service ofending the anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also thethought, " What if I had chosen the other way? " In both of these scenarios,the choice occurs psychologically as a " must " and as a " must do cor¬rectly " —both psychological aspects of the choice that begs for defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack of freedom. There is athird path. Camus describes it best in " An Absurd Reasoning " : " The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as that is possible, and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant regions. Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this inhuman show in which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their dialogue "  (1955, p.   8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a psychological space where the client canstand rather than have to jump forward or backward?

To us, that is theplace from which choices with the most vitality emerge—that place whereeven whether to choose occurs psychologically as choice.

Also in

" get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl) " book steve hayes say choice are to be made for there sake not for or against reason and it gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice even when there are for and against reason for selection.

Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN EVERDAY LIFE DECISION.

P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for understanding and liberation for realization " .

[Guest guest]

By its emphasis of so called positive thinking, I have a strong memory of this

book `helping' me to do something that really wasn't right for me. Something

that was really really the wrong thing to do. This was a few years ago and way

before I was introduced to ACT. As Russ says, it lacked anything on values,

mindfulness etc. For me it was powerful, but quite dangerously out of balance.

I admit I was pretty oput of balance myself at the time and write with full

respect for those who have found it valuable and useful. It was just my

experience - floundering around on my own and trying to get help from a

promising 'self-help' book.

Anne x

> >

> > > Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based on act the

> > therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like a very

> > motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure

> > >

> > >

> > > ;

> > > To: <ACT_for_the_Public >;

> > > Subject: choice

> > > Sent: Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM

> > >

> > >

> > > My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in choices.

> > > Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will be get stuck

> > like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the choice point

> > by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.

> > >

> > > I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off people for

> > reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in different

> > perspective and can write something useful to me.

> > >

> > > there is suffering inherent in every choice, includingthe choice not

> > to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary valuein a choice.

> > We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and findlater that

> > we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous andmean-spirited

> > way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own histo¬ries.) The

> > possibility of one of these negative outcomes is psychologicallyinherent

> > in the choice†" it is why the choice is hard (and avoided). Now theissue

> > of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to examine

> > theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is that what we

> > want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and defusion in

> > this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic possibilities

> > dance†" that place onthe brink of choice.

> > > This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations predominate. One is

> > toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should I-shouldn't

> > I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should and reasons

> > weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip decisively and

> > tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second option is to

> > justchoose†" but in the service of ending the burden this frightening

> > psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what we want our lives

> > to stand for?We explore both of these options with clients. We first

> > take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk up to the

> > edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the pressure; we then back

> > up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and minuses. We

> > examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in an

> > experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel the anxiety,

> > notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the peak of

> > anxiety, we choose a direction†" explicitly in the service ofending the

> > anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also thethought,

> > " What if I had chosen the other way? " In both of these scenarios,the

> > choice occurs psychologically as a " must " and as a " must do

> > cor¬rectly " †" both psychological aspects of the choice that begs for

> > defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack of freedom.

> > There is athird path. Camus describes it best in " An Absurd Reasoning " :

> > " The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as that is possible,

> > and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant regions.

> > Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this inhuman show in

> > which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their dialogue " (1955, p.

> > 8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a psychological

> > space where the client canstand rather than have to jump forward or

> > backward? To us, that is theplace from which choices with the most

> > vitality emerge†" that place whereeven whether to choose occurs

> > psychologically as choice.

> > >

> > > Also in

> > >

> > > " get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl) " book steve hayes say

> > choice are to be made for there sake not for or against reason and it

> > gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice even when

> > there are for and against reason for selection.

> > > Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN EVERDAY LIFE

> > DECISION.

> > >

> > > P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for understanding

> > and liberation for realization " .

> > >

> > >

>

> All the best,

> Cheers,

> Russ

>

> www.actmindfully.com.au

>

[Guest guest]

The book was recommended to me years ago but I hated the thing and threw

the thing in the bin - well, maybe I took it to charity shop.

Personally, I think it is okay for a mother who is a bit nervous of

entering an egg and spoon race at her child's charity school fete, or

for the junior manage thinking of going up a rung, but it is is not

people with chronic and deliberating nervous illness like mine.

When I read my first ACT book, though, I was absolutely delighted, and I

then bought some more (and then even more after that- one of my

compulsions is buying books). Now I can tell the difference between pop

psychology and something that is a truly authentic therapy. Feel the

Fear made me feel horrible, but my ACT books were life affirming and

gave encouragement even if successs was going to be quite limited to

start with. Well, If you fail then just use some defusion to help

neutralise beating yourself up - now that's friendly. Also, I liked the

people who wrote the books that I have, sensitive types, like me.

Kv

> > >

> > > > Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based on act

the

> > > therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like a very

> > > motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > From: Rajesh raj_surana@;

> > > > To: ACT_for_the_Public ;

> > > > Subject: choice

> > > > Sent: Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in choices.

> > > > Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will be get

stuck

> > > like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the choice

point

> > > by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.

> > > >

> > > > I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off people for

> > > reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in different

> > > perspective and can write something useful to me.

> > > >

> > > > there is suffering inherent in every choice, includingthe choice

not

> > > to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary valuein a

choice.

> > > We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and

findlater that

> > > we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous

andmean-spirited

> > > way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own

histo¬ries.) The

> > > possibility of one of these negative outcomes is

psychologicallyinherent

> > > in the choice†" it is why the choice is hard (and avoided).

Now theissue

> > > of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to examine

> > > theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is that what

we

> > > want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and

defusion in

> > > this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic

possibilities

> > > dance†" that place onthe brink of choice.

> > > > This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations predominate. One

is

> > > toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should

I-shouldn't

> > > I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should and

reasons

> > > weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip

decisively and

> > > tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second option

is to

> > > justchoose†" but in the service of ending the burden this

frightening

> > > psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what we want

our lives

> > > to stand for?We explore both of these options with clients. We

first

> > > take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk up to

the

> > > edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the pressure; we

then back

> > > up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and minuses. We

> > > examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in an

> > > experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel the

anxiety,

> > > notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the peak of

> > > anxiety, we choose a direction†" explicitly in the service

ofending the

> > > anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also

thethought,

> > > " What if I had chosen the other way? " In both of these

scenarios,the

> > > choice occurs psychologically as a " must " and as a " must do

> > > cor¬rectly " †" both psychological aspects of the choice

that begs for

> > > defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack of

freedom.

> > > There is athird path. Camus describes it best in " An Absurd

Reasoning " :

> > > " The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as that is

possible,

> > > and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant regions.

> > > Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this inhuman show

in

> > > which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their dialogue " (1955, p.

> > > 8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a

psychological

> > > space where the client canstand rather than have to jump forward

or

> > > backward? To us, that is theplace from which choices with the most

> > > vitality emerge†" that place whereeven whether to choose

occurs

> > > psychologically as choice.

> > > >

> > > > Also in

> > > >

> > > > " get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl) " book steve hayes

say

> > > choice are to be made for there sake not for or against reason and

it

> > > gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice even

when

> > > there are for and against reason for selection.

> > > > Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN EVERDAY

LIFE

> > > DECISION.

> > > >

> > > > P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for

understanding

> > > and liberation for realization " .

> > > >

> > > >

> >

> > All the best,

> > Cheers,

> > Russ

> >

> > www.actmindfully.com.au

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I couldn't agree more Kaivey. That's my experience too. ACT takes work, real

work - it's a long haul project. But it's truly inspirational and very sound.

It plants seeds that grow with time, in spite of some periods of seeming

drought.

Anne x

> > > >

> > > > > Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based on act

> the

> > > > therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like a very

> > > > motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > From: Rajesh raj_surana@;

> > > > > To: ACT_for_the_Public ;

> > > > > Subject: choice

> > > > > Sent: Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in choices.

> > > > > Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will be get

> stuck

> > > > like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the choice

> point

> > > > by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.

> > > > >

> > > > > I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off people for

> > > > reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in different

> > > > perspective and can write something useful to me.

> > > > >

> > > > > there is suffering inherent in every choice, includingthe choice

> not

> > > > to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary valuein a

> choice.

> > > > We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and

> findlater that

> > > > we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous

> andmean-spirited

> > > > way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own

> histo¬ries.) The

> > > > possibility of one of these negative outcomes is

> psychologicallyinherent

> > > > in the choice†" it is why the choice is hard (and avoided).

> Now theissue

> > > > of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to examine

> > > > theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is that what

> we

> > > > want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and

> defusion in

> > > > this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic

> possibilities

> > > > dance†" that place onthe brink of choice.

> > > > > This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations predominate. One

> is

> > > > toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should

> I-shouldn't

> > > > I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should and

> reasons

> > > > weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip

> decisively and

> > > > tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second option

> is to

> > > > justchoose†" but in the service of ending the burden this

> frightening

> > > > psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what we want

> our lives

> > > > to stand for?We explore both of these options with clients. We

> first

> > > > take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk up to

> the

> > > > edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the pressure; we

> then back

> > > > up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and minuses. We

> > > > examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in an

> > > > experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel the

> anxiety,

> > > > notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the peak of

> > > > anxiety, we choose a direction†" explicitly in the service

> ofending the

> > > > anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also

> thethought,

> > > > " What if I had chosen the other way? " In both of these

> scenarios,the

> > > > choice occurs psychologically as a " must " and as a " must do

> > > > cor¬rectly " †" both psychological aspects of the choice

> that begs for

> > > > defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack of

> freedom.

> > > > There is athird path. Camus describes it best in " An Absurd

> Reasoning " :

> > > > " The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as that is

> possible,

> > > > and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant regions.

> > > > Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this inhuman show

> in

> > > > which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their dialogue " (1955, p.

> > > > 8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a

> psychological

> > > > space where the client canstand rather than have to jump forward

> or

> > > > backward? To us, that is theplace from which choices with the most

> > > > vitality emerge†" that place whereeven whether to choose

> occurs

> > > > psychologically as choice.

> > > > >

> > > > > Also in

> > > > >

> > > > > " get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl) " book steve hayes

> say

> > > > choice are to be made for there sake not for or against reason and

> it

> > > > gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice even

> when

> > > > there are for and against reason for selection.

> > > > > Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN EVERDAY

> LIFE

> > > > DECISION.

> > > > >

> > > > > P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for

> understanding

> > > > and liberation for realization " .

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > >

> > > All the best,

> > > Cheers,

> > > Russ

> > >

> > > www.actmindfully.com.au

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Since childhood my way has been "Rhinoing" through -- just gritting my teeth and brazenly forcing my way through whatever barrier kept me from reaching the desired or needed goal. This has worked, up to a point. But seen from a different perspective it hasn't worked at all. Why? Because I, my innermost being, my real self, wasn't present. How do I know this? Because I feel just as fake as I ever have -- the gritted teeth and brazenness hid and continues to hide the scared little kid who's doing the best he knows how, however inadequate in the larger scheme of things. I haven't been present for most of the portentous events of my life. It's as though someone else is living my life.That said, by hook and by crook I'm learning to be there when I need to be. It's not Act; it's not this or that fabulous new therapy: it's all of those things. It's even drugs and medications on occasion. I'm centered only when, in the depth of the night, alone in my bed, I open my eyes and the darkness seeps into my consciousness and illuminates all.> > > > >> > > > > > Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based on act> > the> > > > > therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like a very> > > > > motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure> > > > > >> > > > > >> > > > > > From: Rajesh raj_surana@;> > > > > > To: ACT_for_the_Public ;> > > > > > Subject: choice> > > > > > Sent: Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM> > > > > >> > > > > >> > > > > > My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in choices.> > > > > > Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will be get> > stuck> > > > > like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the choice> > point> > > > > by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.> > > > > >> > > > > > I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off people for> > > > > reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in different> > > > > perspective and can write something useful to me.> > > > > >> > > > > > there is suffering inherent in every choice, includingthe > > choice> > not> > > > > to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary valuein a> > choice.> > > > > We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and> > findlater that> > > > > we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous> > andmean-spirited> > > > > way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own> > histo¬ries.) The> > > > > possibility of one of these negative outcomes is> > psychologicallyinherent> > > > > in the choiceâ€"it is why the choice is hard (and avoided).> > Now theissue> > > > > of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to > > examine> > > > > theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is that > > what> > we> > > > > want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and> > defusion in> > > > > this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic> > possibilities> > > > > danceâ€"that place onthe brink of choice.> > > > > > This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations predominate. > > One> > is> > > > > toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should> > I-shouldn't> > > > > I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should and> > reasons> > > > > weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip> > decisively and> > > > > tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second > > option> > is to> > > > > justchooseâ€"but in the service of ending the burden this> > frightening> > > > > psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what we want> > our lives> > > > > to stand for?We explore both of these options with clients. We> > first> > > > > take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk up to> > the> > > > > edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the pressure; we> > then back> > > > > up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and minuses. > > We> > > > > examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in an> > > > > experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel the> > anxiety,> > > > > notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the peak > > of> > > > > anxiety, we choose a directionâ€"explicitly in the service> > ofending the> > > > > anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also> > thethought,> > > > > "What if I had chosen the other way?" In both of these> > scenarios,the> > > > > choice occurs psychologically as a "must" and as a "must do> > > > > cor¬rectly"â€"both psychological aspects of the choice> > that begs for> > > > > defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack of> > freedom.> > > > > There is athird path. Camus describes it best in "An Absurd> > Reasoning":> > > > > "The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as that is> > possible,> > > > > and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant > > regions.> > > > > Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this inhuman > > show> > in> > > > > which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their > > dialogue" (1955, p.> > > > > 8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a> > psychological> > > > > space where the client canstand rather than have to jump forward> > or> > > > > backward? To us, that is theplace from which choices with the > > most> > > > > vitality emergeâ€"that place whereeven whether to choose> > occurs> > > > > psychologically as choice.> > > > > >> > > > > > Also in> > > > > >> > > > > > "get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl)"book steve > > hayes> > say> > > > > choice are to be made for there sake not for or against reason > > and> > it> > > > > gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice even> > when> > > > > there are for and against reason for selection.> > > > > > Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN EVERDAY> > LIFE> > > > > DECISION.> > > > > >> > > > > > P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for> > understanding> > > > > and liberation for realization".> > > > > >> > > > > >> > > >> > > > All the best,> > > > Cheers,> > > > Russ > > > >> > > > www.actmindfully.com.au> > > >> > >> >> >>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for this beautifully honest post. You're not alone in feeling like this

- so much I can connect to here.

Anne x

> > > > > >

> > > > > > > Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based on

> act

> > > the

> > > > > > therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like a

> very

> > > > > > motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > From: Rajesh raj_surana@;

> > > > > > > To: ACT_for_the_Public ;

> > > > > > > Subject: choice

> > > > > > > Sent: Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in

> choices.

> > > > > > > Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will be

> get

> > > stuck

> > > > > > like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the

> choice

> > > point

> > > > > > by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off people

> for

> > > > > > reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in

> different

> > > > > > perspective and can write something useful to me.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > there is suffering inherent in every choice, includingthe

> > > choice

> > > not

> > > > > > to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary valuein a

> > > choice.

> > > > > > We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and

> > > findlater that

> > > > > > we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous

> > > andmean-spirited

> > > > > > way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own

> > > histo¬ries.) The

> > > > > > possibility of one of these negative outcomes is

> > > psychologicallyinherent

> > > > > > in the choice†" it is why the choice is hard (and

> avoided).

> > > Now theissue

> > > > > > of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to

> > > examine

> > > > > > theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is that

> > > what

> > > we

> > > > > > want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and

> > > defusion in

> > > > > > this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic

> > > possibilities

> > > > > > dance†" that place onthe brink of choice.

> > > > > > > This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations predominate.

> > > One

> > > is

> > > > > > toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should

> > > I-shouldn't

> > > > > > I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should and

> > > reasons

> > > > > > weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip

> > > decisively and

> > > > > > tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second

> > > option

> > > is to

> > > > > > justchoose†" but in the service of ending the burden this

> > > frightening

> > > > > > psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what we

> want

> > > our lives

> > > > > > to stand for?We explore both of these options with clients. We

> > > first

> > > > > > take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk up

> to

> > > the

> > > > > > edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the pressure;

> we

> > > then back

> > > > > > up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and minuses.

> > > We

> > > > > > examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in an

> > > > > > experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel the

> > > anxiety,

> > > > > > notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the peak

> > > of

> > > > > > anxiety, we choose a direction†" explicitly in the service

> > > ofending the

> > > > > > anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also

> > > thethought,

> > > > > > " What if I had chosen the other way? " In both of these

> > > scenarios,the

> > > > > > choice occurs psychologically as a " must " and as a " must do

> > > > > > cor¬rectly " †" both psychological aspects of the choice

> > > that begs for

> > > > > > defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack of

> > > freedom.

> > > > > > There is athird path. Camus describes it best in " An Absurd

> > > Reasoning " :

> > > > > > " The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as that is

> > > possible,

> > > > > > and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant

> > > regions.

> > > > > > Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this inhuman

> > > show

> > > in

> > > > > > which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their

> > > dialogue " (1955, p.

> > > > > > 8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a

> > > psychological

> > > > > > space where the client canstand rather than have to jump

> forward

> > > or

> > > > > > backward? To us, that is theplace from which choices with the

> > > most

> > > > > > vitality emerge†" that place whereeven whether to choose

> > > occurs

> > > > > > psychologically as choice.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Also in

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > " get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl) " book steve

> > > hayes

> > > say

> > > > > > choice are to be made for there sake not for or against reason

> > > and

> > > it

> > > > > > gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice even

> > > when

> > > > > > there are for and against reason for selection.

> > > > > > > Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN

> EVERDAY

> > > LIFE

> > > > > > DECISION.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for

> > > understanding

> > > > > > and liberation for realization " .

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > All the best,

> > > > > Cheers,

> > > > > Russ

> > > > >

> > > > > www.actmindfully.com.au

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Do you know, Detlef, after a few years of depression and not having a

girlfriend I decided to get brave and just go out and meet them, so I

joined a singles club. Well, I was incredibly shy with not much to talk

about -unless you liked politics, listened to Radio 4 only (current

affairs) loved hard core techno, experimental pop and rock music, Robyn

Hitchcock and the Egyptians (who?) and was into fanatically healthy

vegetarian food (I'm now a vegan) . So, there I was, meeting women at

clubs with my new singles friends and just NOT BEING SHY. Well, it was a

complete disaster.

Fortunately, things are better now, and I don't try so hard to get to

know women, I just let things happen naturally. But when I look back,

I'm horrifed at how clumsey I was. But all my social skills had gone

rusty due to chronic loneliness and depression. I was very brave,

though.

Kv

> > > > > >

> > > > > > > Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based on

> act

> > > the

> > > > > > therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like a

> very

> > > > > > motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > From: Rajesh raj_surana@;

> > > > > > > To: ACT_for_the_Public ;

> > > > > > > Subject: choice

> > > > > > > Sent: Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in

> choices.

> > > > > > > Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will be

> get

> > > stuck

> > > > > > like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the

> choice

> > > point

> > > > > > by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off people

> for

> > > > > > reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in

> different

> > > > > > perspective and can write something useful to me.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > there is suffering inherent in every choice, includingthe

> > > choice

> > > not

> > > > > > to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary valuein

a

> > > choice.

> > > > > > We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and

> > > findlater that

> > > > > > we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous

> > > andmean-spirited

> > > > > > way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own

> > > histo¬ries.) The

> > > > > > possibility of one of these negative outcomes is

> > > psychologicallyinherent

> > > > > > in the choice†" it is why the choice is hard (and

> avoided).

> > > Now theissue

> > > > > > of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to

> > > examine

> > > > > > theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is that

> > > what

> > > we

> > > > > > want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and

> > > defusion in

> > > > > > this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic

> > > possibilities

> > > > > > dance†" that place onthe brink of choice.

> > > > > > > This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations

predominate.

> > > One

> > > is

> > > > > > toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should

> > > I-shouldn't

> > > > > > I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should

and

> > > reasons

> > > > > > weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip

> > > decisively and

> > > > > > tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second

> > > option

> > > is to

> > > > > > justchoose†" but in the service of ending the burden

this

> > > frightening

> > > > > > psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what we

> want

> > > our lives

> > > > > > to stand for?We explore both of these options with clients.

We

> > > first

> > > > > > take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk

up

> to

> > > the

> > > > > > edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the

pressure;

> we

> > > then back

> > > > > > up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and

minuses.

> > > We

> > > > > > examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in an

> > > > > > experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel the

> > > anxiety,

> > > > > > notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the

peak

> > > of

> > > > > > anxiety, we choose a direction†" explicitly in the

service

> > > ofending the

> > > > > > anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also

> > > thethought,

> > > > > > " What if I had chosen the other way? " In both of these

> > > scenarios,the

> > > > > > choice occurs psychologically as a " must " and as a " must do

> > > > > > cor¬rectly " †" both psychological aspects of the

choice

> > > that begs for

> > > > > > defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack

of

> > > freedom.

> > > > > > There is athird path. Camus describes it best in " An Absurd

> > > Reasoning " :

> > > > > > " The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as that

is

> > > possible,

> > > > > > and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant

> > > regions.

> > > > > > Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this inhuman

> > > show

> > > in

> > > > > > which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their

> > > dialogue " (1955, p.

> > > > > > 8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a

> > > psychological

> > > > > > space where the client canstand rather than have to jump

> forward

> > > or

> > > > > > backward? To us, that is theplace from which choices with

the

> > > most

> > > > > > vitality emerge†" that place whereeven whether to choose

> > > occurs

> > > > > > psychologically as choice.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Also in

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > " get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl) " book steve

> > > hayes

> > > say

> > > > > > choice are to be made for there sake not for or against

reason

> > > and

> > > it

> > > > > > gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice

even

> > > when

> > > > > > there are for and against reason for selection.

> > > > > > > Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN

> EVERDAY

> > > LIFE

> > > > > > DECISION.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for

> > > understanding

> > > > > > and liberation for realization " .

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > All the best,

> > > > > Cheers,

> > > > > Russ

> > > > >

> > > > > www.actmindfully.com.au

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I'm was one of those shy people that would go out with a really loud

flowery silk shirt, or something. Luckily, my girlfreinds over the years

have helped me to get my dress sense sorted out. I still sometimes where

a pink watch, though. It's very nice.

Kv

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based

on

> > act

> > > > the

> > > > > > > therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like

a

> > very

> > > > > > > motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > From: Rajesh raj_surana@;

> > > > > > > > To: ACT_for_the_Public ;

> > > > > > > > Subject: choice

> > > > > > > > Sent: Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in

> > choices.

> > > > > > > > Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will

be

> > get

> > > > stuck

> > > > > > > like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the

> > choice

> > > > point

> > > > > > > by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off

people

> > for

> > > > > > > reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in

> > different

> > > > > > > perspective and can write something useful to me.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > there is suffering inherent in every choice,

includingthe

> > > > choice

> > > > not

> > > > > > > to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary

valuein

> a

> > > > choice.

> > > > > > > We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and

> > > > findlater that

> > > > > > > we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous

> > > > andmean-spirited

> > > > > > > way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own

> > > > histo¬ries.) The

> > > > > > > possibility of one of these negative outcomes is

> > > > psychologicallyinherent

> > > > > > > in the choice†" it is why the choice is hard (and

> > avoided).

> > > > Now theissue

> > > > > > > of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to

> > > > examine

> > > > > > > theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is

that

> > > > what

> > > > we

> > > > > > > want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and

> > > > defusion in

> > > > > > > this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic

> > > > possibilities

> > > > > > > dance†" that place onthe brink of choice.

> > > > > > > > This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations

> predominate.

> > > > One

> > > > is

> > > > > > > toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should

> > > > I-shouldn't

> > > > > > > I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should

> and

> > > > reasons

> > > > > > > weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip

> > > > decisively and

> > > > > > > tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second

> > > > option

> > > > is to

> > > > > > > justchoose†" but in the service of ending the burden

> this

> > > > frightening

> > > > > > > psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what

we

> > want

> > > > our lives

> > > > > > > to stand for?We explore both of these options with

clients.

> We

> > > > first

> > > > > > > take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk

> up

> > to

> > > > the

> > > > > > > edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the

> pressure;

> > we

> > > > then back

> > > > > > > up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and

> minuses.

> > > > We

> > > > > > > examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in

an

> > > > > > > experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel

the

> > > > anxiety,

> > > > > > > notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the

> peak

> > > > of

> > > > > > > anxiety, we choose a direction†" explicitly in the

> service

> > > > ofending the

> > > > > > > anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also

> > > > thethought,

> > > > > > > " What if I had chosen the other way? " In both of these

> > > > scenarios,the

> > > > > > > choice occurs psychologically as a " must " and as a " must

do

> > > > > > > cor¬rectly " †" both psychological aspects of the

> choice

> > > > that begs for

> > > > > > > defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack

> of

> > > > freedom.

> > > > > > > There is athird path. Camus describes it best in " An

Absurd

> > > > Reasoning " :

> > > > > > > " The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as

that

> is

> > > > possible,

> > > > > > > and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant

> > > > regions.

> > > > > > > Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this

inhuman

> > > > show

> > > > in

> > > > > > > which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their

> > > > dialogue " (1955, p.

> > > > > > > 8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a

> > > > psychological

> > > > > > > space where the client canstand rather than have to jump

> > forward

> > > > or

> > > > > > > backward? To us, that is theplace from which choices with

> the

> > > > most

> > > > > > > vitality emerge†" that place whereeven whether to

choose

> > > > occurs

> > > > > > > psychologically as choice.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Also in

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > " get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl) " book

steve

> > > > hayes

> > > > say

> > > > > > > choice are to be made for there sake not for or against

> reason

> > > > and

> > > > it

> > > > > > > gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice

> even

> > > > when

> > > > > > > there are for and against reason for selection.

> > > > > > > > Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN

> > EVERDAY

> > > > LIFE

> > > > > > > DECISION.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for

> > > > understanding

> > > > > > > and liberation for realization " .

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > All the best,

> > > > > > Cheers,

> > > > > > Russ

> > > > > >

> > > > > > www.actmindfully.com.au

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Oh, I feel guitly now, if it helped you then it was a good book. And thousands

of others have liked it too. But if you search down the Amazon ratings columns

occassioanlly you will find people who it wasn't helpful for. It made me feel

miserable and useless because I was so overwhelmed by my fears. I needed a more

gentle therapy to get me started.

Anyway, I'm out dancing Lindy Hop tonight. Years ago joining a club and learning

something new would have just completely overwhelmed me. But in the end I knew

there was no other way out of this, so I just had to go out all on my own and do

something. Learning jive, lindy, and Rock and Roll was my salvation as it so

easy to meet new people through dancing. Geee! I don't even have to say much if

I can't think of anything to talk about.

Kv

> >

> > > Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based on act the

> > therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like a very

> > motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure

> > >

> > >

> > > ;

> > > To: <ACT_for_the_Public >;

> > > Subject: choice

> > > Sent: Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM

> > >

> > > 

> > > My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in choices.

> > > Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will be get stuck

> > like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the choice point

> > by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.

> > >

> > > I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off people for

> > reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in different

> > perspective and can write something useful to me.

> > >

> > > there is suffering inherent in every choice, includingthe choice not

> > to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary valuein a choice.

> > We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and findlater that

> > we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous andmean-spirited

> > way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own histo¬ries.) The

> > possibility of one of these negative outcomes is psychologicallyinherent

> > in the choice†" it is why the choice is hard (and avoided). Now theissue

> > of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to examine

> > theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is that what we

> > want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and defusion in

> > this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic possibilities

> > dance†" that place onthe brink of choice.

> > > This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations predominate. One is

> > toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should I-shouldn't

> > I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should and reasons

> > weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip decisively and

> > tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second option is to

> > justchoose†" but in the service of ending the burden this frightening

> > psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what we want our lives

> > to stand for?We explore both of these options with clients. We first

> > take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk up to the

> > edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the pressure; we then back

> > up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and minuses. We

> > examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in an

> > experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel the anxiety,

> > notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the peak of

> > anxiety, we choose a direction†" explicitly in the service ofending the

> > anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also thethought,

> > " What if I had chosen the other way? " In both of these scenarios,the

> > choice occurs psychologically as a " must " and as a " must do

> > cor¬rectly " †" both psychological aspects of the choice that begs for

> > defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack of freedom.

> > There is athird path. Camus describes it best in " An Absurd Reasoning " :

> > " The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as that is possible,

> > and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant regions.

> > Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this inhuman show in

> > which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their dialogue "   (1955, p. 

> > 8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a psychological

> > space where the client canstand rather than have to jump forward or

> > backward? To us, that is theplace from which choices with the most

> > vitality emerge†" that place whereeven whether to choose occurs

> > psychologically as choice.

> > >

> > > Also in

> > >

> > > " get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl) " book steve hayes say

> > choice are to be made for there sake not for or against reason and it

> > gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice even when

> > there are for and against reason for selection.

> > > Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN EVERDAY LIFE

> > DECISION.

> > >

> > > P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for understanding

> > and liberation for realization " .

> > >

> > >

>

> All the best,

> Cheers,

> Russ

>

> www.actmindfully.com.au

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org

>

> If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may

> unsubscribe by sending an email to

> ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links

>

>

>

>     http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/

>

[Guest guest]

It was a very moving post. It touched me too.

Kv

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based on

> > act

> > > > the

> > > > > > > therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like a

> > very

> > > > > > > motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > From: Rajesh raj_surana@;

> > > > > > > > To: ACT_for_the_Public ;

> > > > > > > > Subject: choice

> > > > > > > > Sent: Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in

> > choices.

> > > > > > > > Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will be

> > get

> > > > stuck

> > > > > > > like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the

> > choice

> > > > point

> > > > > > > by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off people

> > for

> > > > > > > reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in

> > different

> > > > > > > perspective and can write something useful to me.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > there is suffering inherent in every choice, includingthe

> > > > choice

> > > > not

> > > > > > > to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary valuein a

> > > > choice.

> > > > > > > We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and

> > > > findlater that

> > > > > > > we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous

> > > > andmean-spirited

> > > > > > > way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own

> > > > histo¬ries.) The

> > > > > > > possibility of one of these negative outcomes is

> > > > psychologicallyinherent

> > > > > > > in the choice†" it is why the choice is hard (and

> > avoided).

> > > > Now theissue

> > > > > > > of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to

> > > > examine

> > > > > > > theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is that

> > > > what

> > > > we

> > > > > > > want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and

> > > > defusion in

> > > > > > > this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic

> > > > possibilities

> > > > > > > dance†" that place onthe brink of choice.

> > > > > > > > This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations predominate.

> > > > One

> > > > is

> > > > > > > toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should

> > > > I-shouldn't

> > > > > > > I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should and

> > > > reasons

> > > > > > > weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip

> > > > decisively and

> > > > > > > tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second

> > > > option

> > > > is to

> > > > > > > justchoose†" but in the service of ending the burden this

> > > > frightening

> > > > > > > psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what we

> > want

> > > > our lives

> > > > > > > to stand for?We explore both of these options with clients. We

> > > > first

> > > > > > > take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk up

> > to

> > > > the

> > > > > > > edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the pressure;

> > we

> > > > then back

> > > > > > > up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and minuses.

> > > > We

> > > > > > > examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in an

> > > > > > > experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel the

> > > > anxiety,

> > > > > > > notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the peak

> > > > of

> > > > > > > anxiety, we choose a direction†" explicitly in the service

> > > > ofending the

> > > > > > > anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also

> > > > thethought,

> > > > > > > " What if I had chosen the other way? " In both of these

> > > > scenarios,the

> > > > > > > choice occurs psychologically as a " must " and as a " must do

> > > > > > > cor¬rectly " †" both psychological aspects of the choice

> > > > that begs for

> > > > > > > defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack of

> > > > freedom.

> > > > > > > There is athird path. Camus describes it best in " An Absurd

> > > > Reasoning " :

> > > > > > > " The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as that is

> > > > possible,

> > > > > > > and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant

> > > > regions.

> > > > > > > Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this inhuman

> > > > show

> > > > in

> > > > > > > which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their

> > > > dialogue " (1955, p.

> > > > > > > 8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a

> > > > psychological

> > > > > > > space where the client canstand rather than have to jump

> > forward

> > > > or

> > > > > > > backward? To us, that is theplace from which choices with the

> > > > most

> > > > > > > vitality emerge†" that place whereeven whether to choose

> > > > occurs

> > > > > > > psychologically as choice.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Also in

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > " get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl) " book steve

> > > > hayes

> > > > say

> > > > > > > choice are to be made for there sake not for or against reason

> > > > and

> > > > it

> > > > > > > gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice even

> > > > when

> > > > > > > there are for and against reason for selection.

> > > > > > > > Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN

> > EVERDAY

> > > > LIFE

> > > > > > > DECISION.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for

> > > > understanding

> > > > > > > and liberation for realization " .

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > All the best,

> > > > > > Cheers,

> > > > > > Russ

> > > > > >

> > > > > > www.actmindfully.com.au

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, it was written long time ago - 80s or 90s when ACT was in it's infancy and in research mode - which is strong point of ACT.  Feel the Fear is not an ACT book or based on ACT.

 

By its emphasis of so called positive thinking, I have a strong memory of this book `helping' me to do something that really wasn't right for me. Something that was really really the wrong thing to do. This was a few years ago and way before I was introduced to ACT. As Russ says, it lacked anything on values, mindfulness etc. For me it was powerful, but quite dangerously out of balance. I admit I was pretty oput of balance myself at the time and write with full respect for those who have found it valuable and useful. It was just my experience - floundering around on my own and trying to get help from a promising 'self-help' book.

Anne x

> >

> > > Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based on act the

> > therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like a very

> > motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure

> > >

> > >

> > > ;

> > > To: <ACT_for_the_Public >;

> > > Subject: choice

> > > Sent: Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM

> > >

> > >

> > > My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in choices.

> > > Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will be get stuck

> > like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the choice point

> > by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.

> > >

> > > I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off people for

> > reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in different

> > perspective and can write something useful to me.

> > >

> > > there is suffering inherent in every choice, includingthe choice not

> > to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary valuein a choice.

> > We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and findlater that

> > we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous andmean-spirited

> > way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own histo¬ries.) The

> > possibility of one of these negative outcomes is psychologicallyinherent

> > in the choice†" it is why the choice is hard (and avoided). Now theissue

> > of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to examine

> > theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is that what we

> > want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and defusion in

> > this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic possibilities

> > dance†" that place onthe brink of choice.

> > > This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations predominate. One is

> > toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should I-shouldn't

> > I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should and reasons

> > weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip decisively and

> > tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second option is to

> > justchoose†" but in the service of ending the burden this frightening

> > psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what we want our lives

> > to stand for?We explore both of these options with clients. We first

> > take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk up to the

> > edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the pressure; we then back

> > up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and minuses. We

> > examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in an

> > experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel the anxiety,

> > notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the peak of

> > anxiety, we choose a direction†" explicitly in the service ofending the

> > anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also thethought,

> > " What if I had chosen the other way? " In both of these scenarios,the

> > choice occurs psychologically as a " must " and as a " must do

> > cor¬rectly " †" both psychological aspects of the choice that begs for

> > defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack of freedom.

> > There is athird path. Camus describes it best in " An Absurd Reasoning " :

> > " The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as that is possible,

> > and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant regions.

> > Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this inhuman show in

> > which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their dialogue " (1955, p.

> > 8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a psychological

> > space where the client canstand rather than have to jump forward or

> > backward? To us, that is theplace from which choices with the most

> > vitality emerge†" that place whereeven whether to choose occurs

> > psychologically as choice.

> > >

> > > Also in

> > >

> > > " get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl) " book steve hayes say

> > choice are to be made for there sake not for or against reason and it

> > gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice even when

> > there are for and against reason for selection.

> > > Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN EVERDAY LIFE

> > DECISION.

> > >

> > > P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for understanding

> > and liberation for realization " .

> > >

> > >

>

> All the best,

> Cheers,

> Russ

>

> www.actmindfully.com.au

>

[Guest guest]

The trouble for me was that it hyped me so much with positive thinking,

that I followed my emotion to jump in the water and got bitten by the sharks,

badly. Sorry to wrap this in ACT terms, but talking from recent experience that

I've found to be true for me, I acted against my true values and was well and

properly fused to an infactuation but didn't have the concept of the 'observer'

to see that. That's why I found it such an unbalanced book at the time. Maybe I

missed something though.

Anne x

> >> >

> >> > > Hi the book feel the fear and do it anyway is it based on act the

> >> > therapy any one read it, l read few pages and sounds like a very

> >> > motivational book with cbt in it ? Not sure

> >> > >

> >> > >

> >> > > ;

> >> > > To: <ACT_for_the_Public >;

> >> > > Subject: choice

> >> > > Sent: Thu, May 17, 2012 12:50:40 PM

> >> > >

> >> > >

> >> > > My thinking get frezeed ,confused while selecting in choices.

> >> > > Everybody will be making choice everday, somebody will be get stuck

> >> > like me somebody not. I hope i can learn to move over the choice point

> >> > by learing from the collective wisdom of this list.

> >> > >

> >> > > I am reposting one of earlier post. It may piss off people for

> >> > reposting such a long post but what if one of u are in different

> >> > perspective and can write something useful to me.

> >> > >

> >> > > there is suffering inherent in every choice, includingthe choice not

> >> > to choose. We may cut off something of extraordinary valuein a choice.

> >> > We may feel that we are making a values-driven choice and findlater

> >> that

> >> > we were completely blind and acting in a self-righteous

> >> andmean-spirited

> >> > way. (We sweat as we recollect such events in our own histo¬ries.) The

> >> > possibility of one of these negative outcomes is

> >> psychologicallyinherent

> >> > in the choice—it is why the choice is hard (and avoided). Now theissue

> >> > of living with integrity falls back a step, and we need to examine

> >> > theintegrity of not choosing in the service of fear: Is that what we

> >> > want ourlives to stand for? We may need to do exposure and defusion in

> >> > this fright¬ening region, where delightful and tragic possibilities

> >> > dance—that place onthe brink of choice.

> >> > > This is a hard place to stay. Two inclinations predominate. One is

> >> > toback up from choosing and dwell in the land of should I-shouldn't

> >> > I,making little lists in our head of the reasons we should and reasons

> >> > weshouldn't in vain hope that the scales will finally tip decisively

> >> and

> >> > tell usthe truth about the choice we should make. A second option is to

> >> > justchoose—but in the service of ending the burden this frightening

> >> > psychologi¬cal space engenders. However, is that what we want our lives

> >> > to stand for?We explore both of these options with clients. We first

> >> > take imaginal tripsin experiential exercises where we walk up to the

> >> > edge of choice and experi¬ence the anxiety, the pressure; we then back

> >> > up into rumination and worryand add up the pluses and minuses. We

> >> > examine the vitality of that act.Then, again, we walk, in an

> >> > experiential exercise, to the edge of choice.Again, feel the anxiety,

> >> > notice the memories, how the body feels; this time,at the peak of

> >> > anxiety, we choose a direction—explicitly in the service ofending the

> >> > anxiety. And then, notice what happens. Relief, but also thethought,

> >> > " What if I had chosen the other way? " In both of these scenarios,the

> >> > choice occurs psychologically as a " must " and as a " must do

> >> > cor¬rectly " —both psychological aspects of the choice that begs for

> >> > defusionand exposure. They occur psychologically as a lack of freedom.

> >> > There is athird path. Camus describes it best in " An Absurd Reasoning " :

> >> > " The realeffort is to stay there, rather, in so far as that is

> >> possible,

> >> > and to examineclosely the odd vegetation of those distant regions.

> >> > Tenacity and acumenare privileged spectators of this inhuman show in

> >> > which absurdity, hope,and death carry on their dialogue " (1955, p.

> >> > 8). What if we can, bydefusion and exposure, create a psychological

> >> > space where the client canstand rather than have to jump forward or

> >> > backward? To us, that is theplace from which choices with the most

> >> > vitality emerge—that place whereeven whether to choose occurs

> >> > psychologically as choice.

> >> > >

> >> > > Also in

> >> > >

> >> > > " get out of your mind into your l.ife(goomiyl) " book steve hayes say

> >> > choice are to be made for there sake not for or against reason and it

> >> > gave a excercise of selecting the two alpbhapet as choice even when

> >> > there are for and against reason for selection.

> >> > > Metaphorically i understood it BUT HOW DO I USE IT IN EVERDAY LIFE

> >> > DECISION.

> >> > >

> >> > > P.s i read a nice quote " do not mistake realization for

> >> understanding

> >> > and liberation for realization " .

> >> > >

> >> > >

> >>

> >> All the best,

> >> Cheers,

> >> Russ

> >>

> >> www.actmindfully.com.au

> >>

> >>

> >> ------------------------------------

> >>

> >> For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org

> >>

> >> If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may

> >> unsubscribe by sending an email to

> >> ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

" ACT terms " made the statement pretty darn clear for me, Annie.... Even without any details, I found it to be a common bond of similar experience, followed by a succinct synopsis of a workable response to the problem. A handy use of ACT terms!

DOn Sunday, May 20, 2012, lostinfrance101 wrote:

 The trouble for me was that it hyped me so much with positive thinking, that I followed my emotion to jump in the water and got bitten by the sharks, badly. Sorry to wrap this in ACT terms, but talking from recent experience that I've found to be true for me, I acted against my true values and was well and properly fused to an infactuation but didn't have the concept of the 'observer' to see that. That's why I found it such an unbalanced book at the time. Maybe I missed something though.

Anne x>

-- Darrell G King, RN, CASAC-TRochester, NY, UShttp://darrellking.comDarrellGKing@...

[Guest guest]

>

> You know sometimes, the water in the swimming pool may feel cold and you

> don't feel like jumping in even though you want to go swimming. Often,

> it's just easier in long run to just dive in and start swimming. If you

> try to be so gentle with yourself and just stick in foot first and then

> very slowly slide in you end up prolonging the cold feeling.

>

> Or sometimes it's less painful in long run to rip bandage off instead of

> slowly pulling it off and prolonging pain for longer time.

>

> I think that many of you are taking this idea of being gentle with yourself

> and having compassion to such an extreme and thinking that somehow you can

> avoid the pain or any difficult emotion.

For many though, including myself, the 'diving in' and 'ripping off' are also

ways of avoiding. It may sound strange but that's as common a tactic...just the

opposite end of the same avoidance continuum. The trick, in my opinion, is

finding the balance that works for the individual. For me, finding that balance

where part of me knows it's safe in the present, and part of me is feeling the

original pain, knowing it's old, is the sweet spot where the unprocessed hurt

can drain.

And it definitely works better for me to be offered kindness and a supporting

hand to hold, wherever I'm at in the journey, along with insistence in moving

forward.

[Guest guest]

I'm sorry Darrel. I honestly don't understand what you've written here. Could

you clarify?

Anne x

> > >

> >

>

>

> --

> Darrell G King, RN, CASAC-T

> Rochester, NY, US

> http://darrellking.com

> DarrellGKing@...

>

[Guest guest]

I agree, . Whether you're the type to dip in a toe at a time or the type to plunge in all at once - what does it matter as long as you are getting in the water, your way? It all depends on the individual and the circumstances, and on being flexible - perhaps sometimes being a "dipper" and at other times a "diver". I think most of us, if we know ACT at all, are not expecting gentleness and self-compassion to take away the pain. They are merely tools, if you will, to help with acceptance of 'what is' without adding layers of judgment and guilt to the pain that is already there. Practicing gentleness and compassion with others is so much easier to do with others but something I constantly need to remind myself to do for ME.HelenaFrom: "warriorprincessz" <warriorprincessz>To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Sunday, May 20, 2012 9:34:24 AMSubject: Re: feel the fear do it anyway book

>

> You know sometimes, the water in the swimming pool may feel cold and you

> don't feel like jumping in even though you want to go swimming. Often,

> it's just easier in long run to just dive in and start swimming. If you

> try to be so gentle with yourself and just stick in foot first and then

> very slowly slide in you end up prolonging the cold feeling.

>

> Or sometimes it's less painful in long run to rip bandage off instead of

> slowly pulling it off and prolonging pain for longer time.

>

> I think that many of you are taking this idea of being gentle with yourself

> and having compassion to such an extreme and thinking that somehow you can

> avoid the pain or any difficult emotion.

For many though, including myself, the 'diving in' and 'ripping off' are also ways of avoiding. It may sound strange but that's as common a tactic...just the opposite end of the same avoidance continuum. The trick, in my opinion, is finding the balance that works for the individual. For me, finding that balance where part of me knows it's safe in the present, and part of me is feeling the original pain, knowing it's old, is the sweet spot where the unprocessed hurt can drain.

And it definitely works better for me to be offered kindness and a supporting hand to hold, wherever I'm at in the journey, along with insistence in moving forward.

[Guest guest]

I liked the way you used the ACT terms to describe your recent experience. The way you strung them together walked me right through it, and I felt your decription could fit a few of my own past adventures....

D

 

I'm sorry Darrel. I honestly don't understand what you've written here. Could you clarify?

Anne x

> > >

> >

>

>

> --

> Darrell G King, RN, CASAC-T

> Rochester, NY, US

> http://darrellking.com

> DarrellGKing@...

>

-- Darrell G King, RN, CASAC-TRochester, NY, UShttp://darrellking.comDarrellGKing@...

[Guest guest]

Thanks Darrel ... on re-reading what you wrote at first was very clear, I had

just misread it.

Anne x

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > > --

> > > Darrell G King, RN, CASAC-T

> > > Rochester, NY, US

> > > http://darrellking.com

> > > DarrellGKing@

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

> --

> Darrell G King, RN, CASAC-T

> Rochester, NY, US

> http://darrellking.com

> DarrellGKing@...

>

[Guest guest]

When you come to a fork in the road, take it!

C. Quinn, PhD, MHA

Licensed Psychologist / Board Certified Behavior Analyst

Work phone: Work FAX:

Sent from my iPad

Please respect the privacy and confidentiality of others.