Re: Hello Old History

June 27, 2012

Something like this happened to me recently. Developedsome atrial fibrillation (my 90 y old mother has it;my 66 year old brother has it ... no biggie) ...actually passed out on stage in Germany after a talk (this is in March)

which is how I became aware of it.Later that night my heart was zooming up and down like a lunatic.No anxiety ... just weird heart stuff. When to an ER.Docs strip charted it for an hour

and finally gave me IV beta-blockers. Boom ... all fine.Stays fine. They send me home with a beta-blocker -- ifyour heart goes nuts and it stays like that for 30-60 minutes

give it a whack and go see a cardiologistStill walking thru all that. Mostly seems fine. On statins now. yadda yaddaBut I still have these beta blockers

OK, fine. But then I go to give a talk somewhere and my mindstarts screeaammming " TAKE A BETA BLOCKER!TAKE A BETA BLOCKER! " I go, like, what?! Are you kidding me?

Why the hell would I take a beta-blocker?I'm feeling fine.YOU MIGHT GET ANXIOUS!AND YOU MIGHT GET FLIPPY!AND YOU MIGHT PASS OUT ON STAGE!

TAKE A BETA BLOCKER!TAKE A BETA BLOCKER!I take a breath (and consider it ... sounds half attractive.I always loved beta-blockers back in my anxiety wrestling match days).

I take another breath.I go " no, I'm sorry. I'm not gonna. If my heart goes crazy flippyfor 30-60 minutes, OK. But I'm not struggling with anxiety hereMr. Mind. I know it looks like it because the freakin pill bottle is there,

but its not about that. Thanks for all your help though. Glad you arewith me, trying to save me from lions, and tigers, and bears.Don't need the " help " right now tho. "

In the several talks I've given since the " take a beta blocker " chatter has quieted back to near zero levels; and the " your are going toget anxious " talk is back to baseline (it never did hit zero even after 25-30 years ...

it bounces at a very, very low level.)Speaking just as a geek psychologistAnxiety struggles are integrated repertoires. They are ways of being with

yourself and with the world. If you touch one part of the repertoire it tends topull the whole set initially. But sometimes elements of an abandoned repertoireare things you need to do for other reasons ... like yeah, I'm now taking heart meds.

Excuse me for livingYou are a creature of habit. You can expect your mind to try toreintegrate the whole freakin pattern if you touch any part of it. But sometimes you need to do that for entirely healthy reasons.

Don't expect your mind to understand that (or agree it is healthy etc) ... your mind is mindless.It's a freakin machine. A tool. Be glad you have it but don't give it the keys to the car.

Meanwhile stay alert; chose wisely. Don't get freaked by the emergence of old patterns -- its built in to conditioning processes.No biggie: The patterns will gradually reintegrate in a healthy

place if you groove the new patterns in a mindful, values-based way.Peace, love, and life- S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298

University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062 " Love isn't everything, it's the only thing " hayes@... or stevenchayes@...

Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mind

Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page:

http://contextualpsychology.org/steve_hayesor you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.com

If you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost is up to your own values.

If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions, join the ACT list: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/join

or the RFT list:http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., " Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life " etc) and want to be part of that conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join

Hi,

I've been on this list years - it's been a great support. ACT has gone by the board a bit recently as I have been pursuing my values and doing rather well at it. Doing things I thought unimaginable a few years back.

However - one of my most dreaded aunts has turned up just when I was feeling really good and sent me down a hellava rabbit hole.

Last week I had an incredibly busy week - I did a couple of powerpoint presentations and took beta blockers to smooth out anxiety a bit. It worked well. A day or so after each my heart when skippy skip several times over and scared the .... out of me. And now it's sent me into a mental constipation of 'what if's' - this feels old, and very familiar. I am struggling to decide whether going to the Doc is feeding the monster or being sensible - and decided on the latter- but I really don't want to go. And I am on edge waiting for the 'next episode' I am lost inside my head again for the first time in ages. Bum. Any thoughts...

Simone

June 27, 2012

Seems to me that you ought to make damn sure that the symptoms aren't caused by a real physical issue. All well and good to 'handle' things with whatever psyche voodoo floats your boat, but sometimes a broken heart is just a broken heart, broken as in you'redeadifyoudon'tdosomethingaboutit.'Just' a thought.Detlef> > > **> >> >> >> > Hi,> >> > I've been on this list years - it's been a great support. ACT has gone by> > the board a bit recently as I have been pursuing my values and doing rather> > well at it. Doing things I thought unimaginable a few years back.> > However - one of my most dreaded aunts has turned up just when I was> > feeling really good and sent me down a hellava rabbit hole.> > Last week I had an incredibly busy week - I did a couple of powerpoint> > presentations and took beta blockers to smooth out anxiety a bit. It worked> > well. A day or so after each my heart when skippy skip several times over> > and scared the .... out of me. And now it's sent me into a mental> > constipation of 'what if's' - this feels old, and very familiar. I am> > struggling to decide whether going to the Doc is feeding the monster or> > being sensible - and decided on the latter- but I really don't want to go.> > And I am on edge waiting for the 'next episode' I am lost inside my head> > again for the first time in ages. Bum. Any thoughts...> >> > Simone> >> > > >>

June 27, 2012

One more thing on this to add to my last postRegarding " Last week I had an incredibly busy week - I did a couple of powerpoint presentations and took beta blockers to smooth out anxiety a bit. It worked well. "

Look, I'm not sayin you can't take your time.I took beta blockers for years after developing ACT.Did I know it was inconsistent?Yes.Did I know I was still feeding the beast?

Yes.Did I know it had to be addressed?Yes.And eventually I did. I just keep reducing them and reducing them untilI finally caught myself licking a pill before a big talk.

Licking a pill. Ridiculous. I stopped entirely.BUTWhen you say what yo say above you could mean " I buy into the idea that I need touse pills and other methods like that to reduce anxiety to do well.

And it is OK to use these methods permanently -- they " work well " -- and they will not have a cost to me. " Well ....That is not your choice. That is not yours to decide.

It is you choice to use or not, but how they " work " -- wellthey work how they work.You may be experiencing how they work right now.Sure ... get your physical stuff checked out ... BUT

also keep your eyes wide- S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062

" Love isn't everything, it's the only thing " hayes@... or stevenchayes@...

Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mind

Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page:

http://contextualpsychology.org/steve_hayesor you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.com

If you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost is up to your own values.

If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions, join the ACT list: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/join

or the RFT list:http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., " Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life " etc) and want to be part of that conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join

Hi,

I've been on this list years - it's been a great support. ACT has gone by the board a bit recently as I have been pursuing my values and doing rather well at it. Doing things I thought unimaginable a few years back.

However - one of my most dreaded aunts has turned up just when I was feeling really good and sent me down a hellava rabbit hole.

Last week I had an incredibly busy week - I did a couple of powerpoint presentations and took beta blockers to smooth out anxiety a bit. It worked well. A day or so after each my heart when skippy skip several times over and scared the .... out of me. And now it's sent me into a mental constipation of 'what if's' - this feels old, and very familiar. I am struggling to decide whether going to the Doc is feeding the monster or being sensible - and decided on the latter- but I really don't want to go. And I am on edge waiting for the 'next episode' I am lost inside my head again for the first time in ages. Bum. Any thoughts...

Simone

June 27, 2012

BTW, although love may be everything and the only thing, like all things it's a commodity that's in short supply. Maybe Apple 'll come up with an app that'll provide unlimited love for everyone, or at least all iPhone users. In my Attenborough mode, I've yet to encounter actual love in the wild, so to speak. Perhaps I've been looking in all the wrong places. But then, maybe it's a chimera, like so much that passes for reality.Still searching.> > > **> >> >> >> > Hi,> >> > I've been on this list years - it's been a great support. ACT has gone by> > the board a bit recently as I have been pursuing my values and doing rather> > well at it. Doing things I thought unimaginable a few years back.> > However - one of my most dreaded aunts has turned up just when I was> > feeling really good and sent me down a hellava rabbit hole.> > Last week I had an incredibly busy week - I did a couple of powerpoint> > presentations and took beta blockers to smooth out anxiety a bit. It worked> > well. A day or so after each my heart when skippy skip several times over> > and scared the .... out of me. And now it's sent me into a mental> > constipation of 'what if's' - this feels old, and very familiar. I am> > struggling to decide whether going to the Doc is feeding the monster or> > being sensible - and decided on the latter- but I really don't want to go.> > And I am on edge waiting for the 'next episode' I am lost inside my head> > again for the first time in ages. Bum. Any thoughts...> >> > Simone> >> > > >>

June 27, 2012

I sense the pain in those words ...still there seems to be something to say:Think of love as a value and it looks differentAs a value its an adverb -- a quality of your action.

Lovingly I ....Where is the con? I don't see itIf there is a " con " it is the " con " of outcomes and othersthat you mind demands. But then who is conning whom?

That is not love as a value.The quality of action you choose is not a storyand it is not an outcome in the usual sense --its a process you choose to embody.

I get the pain. I mean no dismissal of that pain when I say " welcome to human life " I dont get the con- S C.

Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062 " Love isn't everything, it's the only thing " hayes@... or stevenchayes@...

Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mind

Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page:

http://contextualpsychology.org/steve_hayesor you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.com

If you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost is up to your own values.

If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions, join the ACT list: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/join

or the RFT list:http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., " Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life " etc) and want to be part of that conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join

Love is only for the people who can think straight and keep everything even.

For the rest of us it is a con, an empty promise that leads nowhere.

To: ACT_for_the_Public

Sent: Thursday, 28 June 2012 2:58 AM Subject: Re: Hello Old History

BTW, although love may be everything and the only thing, like all things it's a commodity that's in short supply. Maybe Apple 'll come up with an app that'll provide unlimited love for everyone, or at least all iPhone users.

In my Attenborough mode, I've yet to encounter actual love in the wild, so to speak. Perhaps I've been looking in all the wrong places. But then, maybe it's a chimera, like so much that passes for reality.

Still searching.> > > **> >> >> >> > Hi,> >> > I've been on this list years - it's been a great support. ACT has gone by

> > the board a bit recently as I have been pursuing my values and doing rather> > well at it. Doing things I thought unimaginable a few years back.> > However - one of my most dreaded aunts has turned up just when I was

> > feeling really good and sent me down a hellava rabbit hole.> > Last week I had an incredibly busy week - I did a couple of powerpoint> > presentations and took beta blockers to smooth out anxiety a bit. It worked

> > well. A day or so after each my heart when skippy skip several times

over> > and scared the .... out of me. And now it's sent me into a mental> > constipation of 'what if's' - this feels old, and very familiar. I am> > struggling to decide whether going to the Doc is feeding the monster or

> > being sensible - and decided on the latter- but I really don't want to go.> > And I am on edge waiting for the 'next episode' I am lost inside my head> > again for the first time in ages. Bum. Any thoughts...

> >> > Simone> >> > > >>

June 28, 2012

Thanks ,

I got pulled into the rip tide - but it is subsiding now- I am gently rolling with the waves. My old history is 20% sensation and 80% worry and panic about the sensation. It's my conditioned response. This time however, I have noticed it - which is a big difference. I notice my mind pulling me forward to an imaginary death ( or maybe even a real one!) - jumping in and out of that rip tide. Struggle, let go, struggle let go, struggle, let go - pulling me away from all that sustains and empowers me. I'll go to the doc because I value my health - even though I am scared of tests and stuff - but I'll do it it from a place of love and care for myself - not fear. There is a deep joy in letting go of the need to control - and I think I am slowly, (very slowly!) learning it! I'll keep my eyes wide open and observe the pattern.

Thanks for your response - it means a lot.

Simone

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 27 June 2012, 16:27Subject: Re: Hello Old History

Something like this happened to me recently.

Developed

some atrial fibrillation (my 90 y old mother has it;

my 66 year old brother has it ... no biggie) ...

actually passed out on stage in Germany after a talk (this is in March)

which is how I became aware of it.

Later that night my heart was zooming up and down like a lunatic.

No anxiety ... just weird heart stuff. When to an ER.

Docs strip charted it for an hour

and finally gave me IV beta-blockers. Boom ... all fine.

Stays fine.

They send me home with a beta-blocker -- if

your heart goes nuts and it stays like that for 30-60 minutes

give it a whack and go see a cardiologist

Still walking thru all that. Mostly seems fine. On statins now. yadda yadda

But I still have these beta blockers

OK, fine. But then I go to give a talk somewhere and my mind

starts screeaammming

"TAKE A BETA BLOCKER!

TAKE A BETA BLOCKER!"

I go, like, what?! Are you kidding me?

Why the hell would I take a beta-blocker?

I'm feeling fine.

YOU MIGHT GET ANXIOUS!

AND YOU MIGHT GET FLIPPY!

AND YOU MIGHT PASS OUT ON STAGE!

TAKE A BETA BLOCKER!

I take a breath (and consider it ... sounds half attractive.

I always loved beta-blockers back in my anxiety wrestling match days).

I take another breath.

I go "no, I'm sorry. I'm not gonna. If my heart goes crazy flippy

for 30-60 minutes, OK. But I'm not struggling with anxiety here

Mr. Mind. I know it looks like it because the freakin pill bottle is there,

but its not about that. Thanks for all your help though. Glad you are

with me, trying to save me from lions, and tigers, and bears.

Don't need the "help" right now tho."

In the several talks I've given since the "take a beta blocker"

chatter has quieted back to near zero levels; and the "your are going to

get anxious" talk is back to baseline (it never did hit zero even after 25-30 years ...

it bounces at a very, very low level.)

Speaking just as a geek psychologist

Anxiety struggles are integrated repertoires. They are ways of being with

yourself and with the world. If you touch one part of the repertoire it tends to

pull the whole set initially. But sometimes elements of an abandoned repertoire

are things you need to do for other reasons ... like yeah, I'm now taking heart meds.

Excuse me for living

You are a creature of habit. You can expect your mind to try to

reintegrate the whole freakin pattern if you touch any part of it.

But sometimes you need to do that for entirely healthy reasons.

Don't expect your mind to understand that (or agree it is healthy etc) ... your mind is mindless.

It's a freakin machine. A tool. Be glad you have it but don't give it the

keys to the car.

Meanwhile stay alert; chose wisely. Don't get freaked by the

emergence of old patterns -- its built in to conditioning processes.

No biggie: The patterns will gradually reintegrate in a healthy

place if you groove the new patterns in a mindful, values-based way.

Peace, love, and life

- S

C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062"Love isn't everything, it's the only thing"hayes@... or stevenchayes@...Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mindHuffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my

vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page: http://contextualpsychology.org/steve_hayesor you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.comIf you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): http://www.contextualpsychology.org/. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost is up to your own values. If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions, join the ACT list: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/joinor the RFT list:http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" etc) and want to be part of that conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join

Hi,I've been on this list years - it's been a great support. ACT has gone by the board a bit recently as I have been pursuing my values and doing rather well at it. Doing things I thought unimaginable a few years back.However - one of my most dreaded aunts has turned up just when I was feeling really good and sent me down a hellava rabbit hole.Last week I had an incredibly busy week - I did a couple of powerpoint presentations and took beta blockers to smooth out anxiety a bit. It worked well. A day or so after each my heart when skippy skip several times over and scared the .... out of me. And now it's sent me into a mental constipation of 'what if's' - this feels old, and very familiar. I am struggling to decide whether going to the Doc is feeding the monster or being sensible - and decided on the latter- but I really don't want to go. And I am on edge waiting for the 'next episode' I am lost inside my head again for the first

time in ages. Bum. Any thoughts...Simone

June 28, 2012

Hey , I know where you are coming from - feel it myself sometimes-but remember it's not about other people- it's about your relationship with yourself. Don't let life harden you.

From Mother .....

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;It was never between you and them anyway.

[Reportedly inscribed on the wall of Mother 's children's home in Calcu

To: "ACT_for_the_Public " <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Thursday, 28 June 2012, 0:14Subject: Re: Re: Hello Old History

Love is only for the people who can think straight and keep everything even.

For the rest of us it is a con, an empty promise that leads nowhere.

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Thursday, 28 June 2012 2:58 AMSubject: Re: Hello Old History

BTW, although love may be everything and the only thing, like all things it's a commodity that's in short supply. Maybe Apple 'll come up with an app that'll provide unlimited love for everyone, or at least all iPhone users. In my Attenborough mode, I've yet to encounter actual love in the wild, so to speak. Perhaps I've been looking in all the wrong places. But then, maybe it's a chimera, like so much that passes for reality.Still searching.> > > **> >> >> >> > Hi,> >> > I've been on this list years - it's been a great support. ACT has gone by> > the board a bit recently as I have been pursuing my values and doing rather> > well at it. Doing things I thought unimaginable a few years back.> > However - one of my most dreaded aunts has turned up just when I was> > feeling really good and sent me down a hellava rabbit hole.> > Last week I had an incredibly busy week - I did a couple of powerpoint> > presentations and took beta blockers to smooth out anxiety a bit. It worked> > well. A day or so after each my heart when skippy skip several times

over> > and scared the .... out of me. And now it's sent me into a mental> > constipation of 'what if's' - this feels old, and very familiar. I am> > struggling to decide whether going to the Doc is feeding the monster or> > being sensible - and decided on the latter- but I really don't want to go.> > And I am on edge waiting for the 'next episode' I am lost inside my head> > again for the first time in ages. Bum. Any thoughts...> >> > Simone> >> > > >>

June 28, 2012

Expecting to be loved back - well, that's quite understandable. But it's not a part of Love - it's from ego. Teenagers challenge the most loving parents, I've heard!I hope your job holds out. That is truly scary. Why are you fearful of losing it - have they told you? Please answer after you've allowed your mind to rest awhile (so you can speak more logically and not just from the fear) - hope that's OK to ask of you. HelenaTo: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Wednesday, June 27, 2012 10:53:40 PMSubject: Re: Re: Hello Old History

Huh...if only that were true....lets see...

YES...I lovingly care for my child using a

gentle, easy manner and the language of patience and kindness...(without

outcome), fact is she tells me that I'm a mentally unstable woman with no

friends and then rips me off...hmmm, not much love in any of that....

YES...I lovingly pursue the best outcomes

for the people I work with, evident by comments from colleagues who tell me

they have never known anyone as compassionate yet my job is at risk, I'm sure

it wont be long now, they are interviewing as we speak....

Thereâ€™s no point to this note. Itâ€™s all just

another boring old whinge session. What you say is only true for some people. Iâ€™m

not slamming anyone or anything. Still, the evidence says it all (in the facts, lay the con).

It is what it is.

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Thursday, 28 June 2012 9:54 AM Subject: Re: Re: Hello Old History

I sense the pain in those words ...still there seems to be something to say:Think of love as a value and it looks differentAs a value its an adverb -- a quality of your action.

Lovingly I ....Where is the con? I don't see itIf there is a "con" it is the "con" of outcomes and othersthat you mind demands. But then who is conning whom?

That is not love as a value.The quality of action you choose is not a storyand it is not an outcome in the usual sense --its a process you choose to embody.

I get the pain. I mean no dismissal of that pain when I say "welcome to human life"I dont get the con- S C.

Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062"Love isn't everything, it's the only thing"hayes@... or stevenchayes@...

Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mind

Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page:

http://contextualpsychology.org/steve_hayesor you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.com

If you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): http://www.contextualpsychology.org/. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost is up to your own values.

If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions, join the ACT list: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/join

or the RFT list:http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" etc) and want to be part of that conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join