Re: Sitting With Values

July 10, 2012

In the long-run, I think you will look back at this time as five of the best hours you've spent!! Well done. Don't worry if the 12 values aren't absolutely perfect yet. In fact they may never be absolutely perfect, because we always change and we can't always be sure what we want. That can be part of life's adventure! Good luck and thanks for telling us x To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Tuesday, 10 July 2012, 19:31 Subject: Sitting With Values

It's been an interesting couple days where I have spent most of my time sitting with values. (Yes I am finally putting the effort in).

Several months ago I did a Values Discovery Questionnaire, but at that time I dismissed as rubbish to my therapist, as I felt I was only writing what was expected, what one should put in as answers. At that time every question, was fraught with resistance taking an hour to come up with "I don't Know!" It was like trying to get blood out of a stone, while mentally bunching the living daylights out of it at the same time. In the end I wrote out my values with a sense of duty, rather than what I saw as my values as I just could not get my head to go there. Since breaking through some of my resistance and learning to sit with it, I have realised I have lived a valued way in my past as I was really passionate on developing personal effectiveness. So somewhere along the way I stopped living my life in a valued way. I just gave up.

Now I can come up with a lot of different reasons why this happened, after all our minds are really good at coming up with all sorts of explanations, justifications, etc. Does it really matter, and will it really make a difference. Or is it more important to just realise you were lost on the mind train.

The analyser in me wants to spend hours trying to establish when it actually happened, at what point, what was the true catalyst, how can I prevent this happening again, it can't happen again. Then I realised these are just thoughts. I can't change the past and I don't know what is around the corner, I can only deal with this moment. What I have done is acknowledge and accept my sadness that I gave up on me and let go of what I feel were my lost years, so I can move forward.

So today is all I have and today I sat with my Values Identification Worksheet, full of words that express who you are. The list was long and not exhaustive you could even add to it. It still fascinates me that despite knowing what I now know and understand, I still feel the twinge of discomfort when I picked up the list to read it. Reading the words one by one, realising my heart was beating just that little bit faster, breath quickening, heat building, muscles tensing, stomach churning. I am not enjoying looking at these words. So I put it down, I took a breath and listened and remained present. Once I had dealt with my thoughts I picked up the worksheet started again. It's taken me 5 hours, but I now have my list of 12 values, ready to discuss with my therapist. Interestingly my mind wants me to worry there wrong, that there are more important ones I haven't selected, I've messed up, and I have made a big mistake. I felt anxious when I

completed my list of 12 values, what if my mind was right...so yet again time to breath and sit still, be present and observe. I sent all those thoughts down my lovely river, with thanks and loving kindness for today I have my Values List.

I promised you and many others I would let you know if I made any progress with values. I know I did today.

With loving kindness

Jo

July 10, 2012

I'm happy to share mine.CorporalitaConnectionContributionCuriosityEconomicsI'm missing one. I'll look when I get home. I like this part of ACT the best. It's similar in many ways to positive psychology. It is a positive psychology.

Corporalita I got from the book How To Think Like Leonardo da Vinci. It relates to body. It incorporates fitness, good nutritionist, grace, athleticism, good physique, health. I know this won't be high on most people's list of values but it is for me. I don't separate mind and body. it's all the same and so this also incorporates healthy brain functioning too. And the mind-body all is the same and works together and everything is effected by everything else. So how well you think depends on how healthy and fit you are. A lot of people think they can be all intellectual and sit around in a coffee shop and chain smoke and eat crap. I don't think so. And often these folk put down more active and athletic people. This behavior will be determental to your health including your cognitive functioning.

And yes I know the ACT values are about behavior and acting and not obtaining certain goals. How I write it may seem like I'm getting goals and values mixed up. But I'm not. So the Corporalita really I could state as being fit and healthy, eating healthy, moving with grace, doing things that contribute to being healthy.

Economics is not really at all about money. Maybe just what money represents - good and services. But not any kind of obsession with money. Actually more what I'm thinking of is having a nice comfortable apartment that inviting for visitors and is a nice little refuge for me. So maybe the way to state this is " making a home " . But it's not just my home - it would include any kind of asset I have - property or a business. I want it to have quality and give something valuable to the universe. So maybe you guys can help me with a better name than Economics or I'll be interested in any ideas and values you may have similar to this. I'd be interested in how you state it. Or maybe even if this is not one of your high values, if you think you have better way for me to state this, then let me know.

Hi Jo, I don't suppose anyone could say that the values you determined are wrong. I think it would be like someone telling you your name is wrong. Creating my values was a massive step in my journey, it softened me very much. I'm so pleased to have them I want to shout what I learned from a roof-top, I've posted all my values on multiple occasions hoping that others will do the same but many people are shy to post their values. I'm wondering if you would share your discoveries? What are your values made up of?

With respect.

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 4:01 AM

Subject: Sitting With Values

It's been an interesting couple days where I have spent most of my time sitting with values. (Yes I am finally putting the effort in).

Several months ago I did a Values Discovery Questionnaire, but at that time I dismissed as rubbish to my therapist, as I felt I was only writing what was expected, what one should put in as answers. At that time every question, was fraught with resistance taking an hour to come up with " I don't Know! " It was like trying to get blood out of a stone, while mentally bunching the living daylights out of it at the same time. In the end I wrote out my values with a sense of duty, rather than what I saw as my values as I just could not get my head to go there. Since breaking through some of my resistance and learning to sit with it, I have realised I have lived a valued way in my past as I was really passionate on developing personal effectiveness. So somewhere along the way I stopped living my life in a valued way. I just gave up.

Now I can come up with a lot of different reasons why this happened, after all our minds are really good at coming up with all sorts of explanations, justifications, etc. Does it really matter, and will it really make a difference. Or is it more important to just realise you were lost on the mind train.

The analyser in me wants to spend hours trying to establish when it actually happened, at what point, what was the true catalyst, how can I prevent this happening again, it can't happen again. Then I realised these are just thoughts. I can't change the past and I don't know what is around the corner, I can only deal with this moment. What I have done is acknowledge and accept my sadness that I gave up on me and let go of what I feel were my lost years, so I can move forward.

So today is all I have and today I sat with my Values Identification Worksheet, full of words that express who you are. The list was long and not exhaustive you could even add to it. It still fascinates me that despite knowing what I now know and understand, I still feel the twinge of discomfort when I picked up the list to read it. Reading the words one by one, realising my heart was beating just that little bit faster, breath quickening, heat building, muscles tensing, stomach churning. I am not enjoying looking at these words. So I put it down, I took a breath and listened and remained present. Once I had dealt with my thoughts I picked up the worksheet started again. It's taken me 5 hours, but I now have my list of 12 values, ready to discuss with my therapist. Interestingly my mind wants me to worry there wrong, that there are more important ones I haven't selected, I've messed up, and I have made a big mistake. I felt anxious when I

completed my list of 12 values, what if my mind was right...so yet again time to breath and sit still, be present and observe. I sent all those thoughts down my lovely river, with thanks and loving kindness for today I have my Values List.

I promised you and many others I would let you know if I made any progress with values. I know I did today.

With loving kindness

Jo

July 10, 2012

Good Evening ,Thanks for warm welcome.Environment. Yes I like it. I was thinking Quality while driving home. Creating Quality Environment maybe is a good way to put it. Yes, you know I didn't mention this, but in career or work I want to be doing quality work and having good quality work relations - kind of ties in with connection and contribution. So yeah some values of mine put in the more action verb case are

ConnectingContributingand Creating quality environment.Oh, the one value I was forgetting is spirituality. I'm not religious but I mean spirituality in a general broad sense. Verb form - spiritualiting? Being spiritual I guess sounds better.

And the others in verb formCuriositing? or maybe Inquiring. Investigating. Studying. Learning.And Corporaliting? Anyone know Italian out there? What is verb form of Corporalita? The -ing form.

Morning , I'm very happy to hear from you :-)

Thanks so much for sharing, I really like your " Corporalita " , it definately works for me too. Everything you say about mind, body and good health is true. At least, that is my experience as well.

As for " economics " , when I look deeper, I see envorinment. Sure money is needed to create the environment that you value because it provides a comfortable place to enjoy connections with others, be it within your home or business. Maybe the most important thing there is to have an environment conducive to connection.

I've a huge smile, good to hear from

you,

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 9:22 AM

Subject: Re: Sitting With Values

I'm happy to share mine.CorporalitaConnectionContributionCuriosityEconomicsI'm missing one. I'll look when I get home. I like this part of ACT the best. It's similar in many ways to positive psychology. It is a positive psychology.

Corporalita I got from the book How To Think Like Leonardo da Vinci. It relates to body. It incorporates fitness, good nutritionist, grace, athleticism, good physique, health. I know this won't be high on most people's list of values but it is for me. I don't separate mind and body. it's all the same and so this also incorporates healthy brain functioning too. And the mind-body all is the same and works together and everything is effected by everything else. So how well you think depends on how healthy and fit you are. A lot of people think they can be all intellectual and sit around in a coffee shop and chain smoke and eat crap. I don't think so. And often these folk put down more active and athletic people. This behavior will be determental to your health including your cognitive functioning.

And yes I know the ACT values are about behavior and acting and not obtaining certain goals. How I write it may seem like I'm getting goals and values mixed up. But I'm not. So the Corporalita really I could state as being fit and healthy, eating healthy, moving with grace, doing things that contribute to being healthy.

Economics is not really at all about money. Maybe just what money represents - good and services. But not any kind of obsession with money. Actually more what I'm thinking of is having a nice comfortable apartment that inviting for visitors and is a nice little refuge for me. So maybe the way to state this is " making a home " . But it's not just my home - it would include any kind of asset I have - property or a business. I want it to have quality and give something valuable to the universe. So maybe you guys can help me with a better name than Economics or I'll be interested in any ideas and values you may have similar to this. I'd be interested in how you state it. Or maybe even if this is not one of your high values, if you think you have better way for me to state this, then let me know.

Hi Jo, I don't suppose anyone could say that the values you determined are wrong. I think it would be like someone telling you your name is wrong. Creating my values was a massive step in my journey, it softened me very much. I'm so pleased to have them I want to shout what I learned from a roof-top, I've posted all my values on multiple occasions hoping that others will do the same but many people are shy to post their values. I'm wondering if you would share your discoveries? What are your values made up of?

With respect.

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 4:01 AM

Subject: Sitting With Values

It's been an interesting couple days where I have spent most of my time sitting with values. (Yes I am finally putting the effort in).

Several months ago I did a Values Discovery Questionnaire, but at that time I dismissed as rubbish to my therapist, as I felt I was only writing what was expected, what one should put in as answers. At that time every question, was fraught with resistance taking an hour to come up with " I don't Know! " It was like trying to get blood out of a stone, while mentally bunching the living daylights out of it at the same time. In the end I wrote out my values with a sense of duty, rather than what I saw as my values as I just could not get my head to go there. Since breaking through some of my resistance and learning to sit with it, I have realised I have lived a valued way in my past as I was really passionate on developing personal effectiveness. So somewhere along the way I stopped living my life in a valued way. I just gave up.

Now I can come up with a lot of different reasons why this happened, after all our minds are really good at coming up with all sorts of explanations, justifications, etc. Does it really matter, and will it really make a difference. Or is it more important to just realise you were lost on the mind train.

The analyser in me wants to spend hours trying to establish when it actually happened, at what point, what was the true catalyst, how can I prevent this happening again, it can't happen again. Then I realised these are just thoughts. I can't change the past and I don't know what is around the corner, I can only deal with this moment. What I have done is acknowledge and accept my sadness that I gave up on me and let go of what I feel were my lost years, so I can move forward.

So today is all I have and today I sat with my Values Identification Worksheet, full of words that express who you are. The list was long and not exhaustive you could even add to it. It still fascinates me that despite knowing what I now know and understand, I still feel the twinge of discomfort when I picked up the list to read it. Reading the words one by one, realising my heart was beating just that little bit faster, breath quickening, heat building, muscles tensing, stomach churning. I am not enjoying looking at these words. So I put it down, I took a breath and listened and remained present. Once I had dealt with my thoughts I picked up the worksheet started again. It's taken me 5 hours, but I now have my list of 12 values, ready to discuss with my therapist. Interestingly my mind wants me to worry there wrong, that there are more important ones I haven't selected, I've messed up, and I have made a big mistake. I felt anxious when I

completed my list of 12 values, what if my mind was right...so yet again time to breath and sit still, be present and observe. I sent all those thoughts down my lovely river, with thanks and loving kindness for today I have my Values List.

I promised you and many others I would let you know if I made any progress with values. I know I did today.

With loving kindness

Jo

July 11, 2012

I jus wanna whisper , take even your value " word " lightly.taking.action and

experincing will only know what is what.

July 11, 2012

I jus wanna whisper , take even your value " word " lightly.taking.action and

experincing will only know what is what.

July 11, 2012

Well I guess I'm assuming Corporalita is a noun. Yes, I'm sure like Spanish, Italian have different endings depending on person and whether singular or plural, etc. But like Spanish I'm sure there is the just the -ing form that is not conjugated. In Spanish I think this form ends in -ando and -iendo. So hamblando just means talking. I talk is hamblo, they talk is hamblan etc. So it's the -ing form I'm looking for. They serve sort of like nouns. Like talking and walking can serve as nouns. E.g. " Walking is good for your health " - Walking is working like a noun in that sentence.

German has these different endings on verbs too. I think most European languages besides English do. English has lost them except 3rd person singular still has an -s ending. She talks.Reading about values in ACT, I think they are better served with these -ing verbs. ACT values are about ways of being. But I found trying to come up with verb form of curiosity was hard and so I decided to name my values with regular nouns. Curiositing? Curiosity sounds better. These names are just tags or labels for my values and not the thing in itself. But I try to be careful not to confused what are some of my goals (like have a trim fit body) with values - acting in ways to promote my health - exercising, eating nutritious food, sleeping 8 hours a night, etc.

Oh yes, he, he, this made me laugh... " Anyone know Italian out there? What is verb form of Corporalita? "

I believe that in Italian, verbs change according to who you are talking about (I, you, them, us, we...etc.)...it's likely, (if there is such a word) in Italian you may end up with four or five words.

I think corporalita works. :-)

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 1:32 PM

Subject: Re: Sitting With Values

Good Evening ,Thanks for warm welcome.Environment. Yes I like it. I was thinking Quality while driving home. Creating Quality Environment maybe is a good way to put it. Yes, you know I didn't mention this, but in career or work I want to be doing quality work and having good quality work relations - kind of ties in with connection and contribution. So yeah some values of mine put in the more action verb case are

ConnectingContributingand Creating quality environment.Oh, the one value I was forgetting is spirituality. I'm not religious but I mean spirituality in a general broad sense. Verb form - spiritualiting? Being spiritual I guess sounds better.

And the others in verb formCuriositing? or maybe Inquiring. Investigating. Studying. Learning.And Corporaliting? Anyone know Italian out there? What is verb form of Corporalita? The -ing form.

Morning , I'm very happy to hear from you :-)

Thanks so much for sharing, I really like your " Corporalita " , it definately works for me too. Everything you say about mind, body and good health is true. At least, that is my experience as well.

As for " economics " , when I look deeper, I see envorinment. Sure money is needed to create the environment that you value because it provides a comfortable place to enjoy connections with others, be it within your home or business. Maybe the most important thing there is to have an environment conducive to connection.

I've a huge smile, good to hear from

you,

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 9:22 AM

Subject: Re: Sitting With Values

I'm happy to share mine.CorporalitaConnectionContributionCuriosityEconomicsI'm missing one. I'll look when I get home. I like this part of ACT the best. It's similar in many ways to positive psychology. It is a positive psychology.

Corporalita I got from the book How To Think Like Leonardo da Vinci. It relates to body. It incorporates fitness, good nutritionist, grace, athleticism, good physique, health. I know this won't be high on most people's list of values but it is for me. I don't separate mind and body. it's all the same and so this also incorporates healthy brain functioning too. And the mind-body all is the same and works together and everything is effected by everything else. So how well you think depends on how healthy and fit you are. A lot of people think they can be all intellectual and sit around in a coffee shop and chain smoke and eat crap. I don't think so. And often these folk put down more active and athletic people. This behavior will be determental to your health including your cognitive functioning.

And yes I know the ACT values are about behavior and acting and not obtaining certain goals. How I write it may seem like I'm getting goals and values mixed up. But I'm not. So the Corporalita really I could state as being fit and healthy, eating healthy, moving with grace, doing things that contribute to being healthy.

Economics is not really at all about money. Maybe just what money represents - good and services. But not any kind of obsession with money. Actually more what I'm thinking of is having a nice comfortable apartment that inviting for visitors and is a nice little refuge for me. So maybe the way to state this is " making a home " . But it's not just my home - it would include any kind of asset I have - property or a business. I want it to have quality and give something valuable to the universe. So maybe you guys can help me with a better name than Economics or I'll be interested in any ideas and values you may have similar to this. I'd be interested in how you state it. Or maybe even if this is not one of your high values, if you think you have better way for me to state this, then let me know.

Hi Jo, I don't suppose anyone could say that the values you determined are wrong. I think it would be like someone telling you your name is wrong. Creating my values was a massive step in my journey, it softened me very much. I'm so pleased to have them I want to shout what I learned from a roof-top, I've posted all my values on multiple occasions hoping that others will do the same but many people are shy to post their values. I'm wondering if you would share your discoveries? What are your values made up of?

With respect.

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 4:01 AM

Subject: Sitting With Values

It's been an interesting couple days where I have spent most of my time sitting with values. (Yes I am finally putting the effort in).

Several months ago I did a Values Discovery Questionnaire, but at that time I dismissed as rubbish to my therapist, as I felt I was only writing what was expected, what one should put in as answers. At that time every question, was fraught with resistance taking an hour to come up with " I don't Know! " It was like trying to get blood out of a stone, while mentally bunching the living daylights out of it at the same time. In the end I wrote out my values with a sense of duty, rather than what I saw as my values as I just could not get my head to go there. Since breaking through some of my resistance and learning to sit with it, I have realised I have lived a valued way in my past as I was really passionate on developing personal effectiveness. So somewhere along the way I stopped living my life in a valued way. I just gave up.

Now I can come up with a lot of different reasons why this happened, after all our minds are really good at coming up with all sorts of explanations, justifications, etc. Does it really matter, and will it really make a difference. Or is it more important to just realise you were lost on the mind train.

The analyser in me wants to spend hours trying to establish when it actually happened, at what point, what was the true catalyst, how can I prevent this happening again, it can't happen again. Then I realised these are just thoughts. I can't change the past and I don't know what is around the corner, I can only deal with this moment. What I have done is acknowledge and accept my sadness that I gave up on me and let go of what I feel were my lost years, so I can move forward.

So today is all I have and today I sat with my Values Identification Worksheet, full of words that express who you are. The list was long and not exhaustive you could even add to it. It still fascinates me that despite knowing what I now know and understand, I still feel the twinge of discomfort when I picked up the list to read it. Reading the words one by one, realising my heart was beating just that little bit faster, breath quickening, heat building, muscles tensing, stomach churning. I am not enjoying looking at these words. So I put it down, I took a breath and listened and remained present. Once I had dealt with my thoughts I picked up the worksheet started again. It's taken me 5 hours, but I now have my list of 12 values, ready to discuss with my therapist. Interestingly my mind wants me to worry there wrong, that there are more important ones I haven't selected, I've messed up, and I have made a big mistake. I felt anxious when I

completed my list of 12 values, what if my mind was right...so yet again time to breath and sit still, be present and observe. I sent all those thoughts down my lovely river, with thanks and loving kindness for today I have my Values List.

I promised you and many others I would let you know if I made any progress with values. I know I did today.

With loving kindness

Jo

July 11, 2012

Well I guess I'm assuming Corporalita is a noun. Yes, I'm sure like Spanish, Italian have different endings depending on person and whether singular or plural, etc. But like Spanish I'm sure there is the just the -ing form that is not conjugated. In Spanish I think this form ends in -ando and -iendo. So hamblando just means talking. I talk is hamblo, they talk is hamblan etc. So it's the -ing form I'm looking for. They serve sort of like nouns. Like talking and walking can serve as nouns. E.g. " Walking is good for your health " - Walking is working like a noun in that sentence.

German has these different endings on verbs too. I think most European languages besides English do. English has lost them except 3rd person singular still has an -s ending. She talks.Reading about values in ACT, I think they are better served with these -ing verbs. ACT values are about ways of being. But I found trying to come up with verb form of curiosity was hard and so I decided to name my values with regular nouns. Curiositing? Curiosity sounds better. These names are just tags or labels for my values and not the thing in itself. But I try to be careful not to confused what are some of my goals (like have a trim fit body) with values - acting in ways to promote my health - exercising, eating nutritious food, sleeping 8 hours a night, etc.

Oh yes, he, he, this made me laugh... " Anyone know Italian out there? What is verb form of Corporalita? "

I believe that in Italian, verbs change according to who you are talking about (I, you, them, us, we...etc.)...it's likely, (if there is such a word) in Italian you may end up with four or five words.

I think corporalita works. :-)

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 1:32 PM

Subject: Re: Sitting With Values

Good Evening ,Thanks for warm welcome.Environment. Yes I like it. I was thinking Quality while driving home. Creating Quality Environment maybe is a good way to put it. Yes, you know I didn't mention this, but in career or work I want to be doing quality work and having good quality work relations - kind of ties in with connection and contribution. So yeah some values of mine put in the more action verb case are

ConnectingContributingand Creating quality environment.Oh, the one value I was forgetting is spirituality. I'm not religious but I mean spirituality in a general broad sense. Verb form - spiritualiting? Being spiritual I guess sounds better.

And the others in verb formCuriositing? or maybe Inquiring. Investigating. Studying. Learning.And Corporaliting? Anyone know Italian out there? What is verb form of Corporalita? The -ing form.

Morning , I'm very happy to hear from you :-)

Thanks so much for sharing, I really like your " Corporalita " , it definately works for me too. Everything you say about mind, body and good health is true. At least, that is my experience as well.

As for " economics " , when I look deeper, I see envorinment. Sure money is needed to create the environment that you value because it provides a comfortable place to enjoy connections with others, be it within your home or business. Maybe the most important thing there is to have an environment conducive to connection.

I've a huge smile, good to hear from

you,

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 9:22 AM

Subject: Re: Sitting With Values

I'm happy to share mine.CorporalitaConnectionContributionCuriosityEconomicsI'm missing one. I'll look when I get home. I like this part of ACT the best. It's similar in many ways to positive psychology. It is a positive psychology.

Corporalita I got from the book How To Think Like Leonardo da Vinci. It relates to body. It incorporates fitness, good nutritionist, grace, athleticism, good physique, health. I know this won't be high on most people's list of values but it is for me. I don't separate mind and body. it's all the same and so this also incorporates healthy brain functioning too. And the mind-body all is the same and works together and everything is effected by everything else. So how well you think depends on how healthy and fit you are. A lot of people think they can be all intellectual and sit around in a coffee shop and chain smoke and eat crap. I don't think so. And often these folk put down more active and athletic people. This behavior will be determental to your health including your cognitive functioning.

And yes I know the ACT values are about behavior and acting and not obtaining certain goals. How I write it may seem like I'm getting goals and values mixed up. But I'm not. So the Corporalita really I could state as being fit and healthy, eating healthy, moving with grace, doing things that contribute to being healthy.

Economics is not really at all about money. Maybe just what money represents - good and services. But not any kind of obsession with money. Actually more what I'm thinking of is having a nice comfortable apartment that inviting for visitors and is a nice little refuge for me. So maybe the way to state this is " making a home " . But it's not just my home - it would include any kind of asset I have - property or a business. I want it to have quality and give something valuable to the universe. So maybe you guys can help me with a better name than Economics or I'll be interested in any ideas and values you may have similar to this. I'd be interested in how you state it. Or maybe even if this is not one of your high values, if you think you have better way for me to state this, then let me know.

Hi Jo, I don't suppose anyone could say that the values you determined are wrong. I think it would be like someone telling you your name is wrong. Creating my values was a massive step in my journey, it softened me very much. I'm so pleased to have them I want to shout what I learned from a roof-top, I've posted all my values on multiple occasions hoping that others will do the same but many people are shy to post their values. I'm wondering if you would share your discoveries? What are your values made up of?

With respect.

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 4:01 AM

Subject: Sitting With Values

It's been an interesting couple days where I have spent most of my time sitting with values. (Yes I am finally putting the effort in).

Several months ago I did a Values Discovery Questionnaire, but at that time I dismissed as rubbish to my therapist, as I felt I was only writing what was expected, what one should put in as answers. At that time every question, was fraught with resistance taking an hour to come up with " I don't Know! " It was like trying to get blood out of a stone, while mentally bunching the living daylights out of it at the same time. In the end I wrote out my values with a sense of duty, rather than what I saw as my values as I just could not get my head to go there. Since breaking through some of my resistance and learning to sit with it, I have realised I have lived a valued way in my past as I was really passionate on developing personal effectiveness. So somewhere along the way I stopped living my life in a valued way. I just gave up.

Now I can come up with a lot of different reasons why this happened, after all our minds are really good at coming up with all sorts of explanations, justifications, etc. Does it really matter, and will it really make a difference. Or is it more important to just realise you were lost on the mind train.

The analyser in me wants to spend hours trying to establish when it actually happened, at what point, what was the true catalyst, how can I prevent this happening again, it can't happen again. Then I realised these are just thoughts. I can't change the past and I don't know what is around the corner, I can only deal with this moment. What I have done is acknowledge and accept my sadness that I gave up on me and let go of what I feel were my lost years, so I can move forward.

So today is all I have and today I sat with my Values Identification Worksheet, full of words that express who you are. The list was long and not exhaustive you could even add to it. It still fascinates me that despite knowing what I now know and understand, I still feel the twinge of discomfort when I picked up the list to read it. Reading the words one by one, realising my heart was beating just that little bit faster, breath quickening, heat building, muscles tensing, stomach churning. I am not enjoying looking at these words. So I put it down, I took a breath and listened and remained present. Once I had dealt with my thoughts I picked up the worksheet started again. It's taken me 5 hours, but I now have my list of 12 values, ready to discuss with my therapist. Interestingly my mind wants me to worry there wrong, that there are more important ones I haven't selected, I've messed up, and I have made a big mistake. I felt anxious when I

completed my list of 12 values, what if my mind was right...so yet again time to breath and sit still, be present and observe. I sent all those thoughts down my lovely river, with thanks and loving kindness for today I have my Values List.

I promised you and many others I would let you know if I made any progress with values. I know I did today.

With loving kindness

Jo

July 11, 2012

,In a nutshell, I do my spiritualiting by studying science - physics, biology, chemistry, anthropology, evolution, nature.I don't believe in any religions but I do like the pagan religions, the Greek religion with all their different gods and Native American religions which seems to me to be much more about this earth and this life and more practical than something like Christianity which is more focused on a life after death and so not about this life now on earth. Also Christianity is so anti-body. Anti-sex.

Yes, quality. That has continually come up in different contexts since I started this journey. I had a really difficult moment on the phone with my therapist one time and he mentioned 'the quality of emotion'. Seeing the emotion with 'quality' changed the way I experienced it. Yes, quality is very important too.

I wonder how you would practice, " spiritualiting " ? I think I'll spend a lifetime of unknown within the spiritual domain. I'm not religous either so my practice is more about moving towards the need for nothing. Not to be dramatic, I just think it would be great to want for nothing.

:-)

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 1:32 PM

Subject: Re: Sitting With Values

Good Evening ,Thanks for warm welcome.Environment. Yes I like it. I was thinking Quality while driving home. Creating Quality Environment maybe is a good way to put it. Yes, you know I didn't mention this, but in career or work I want to be doing quality work and having good quality work relations - kind of ties in with connection and contribution. So yeah some values of mine put in the more action verb case are

ConnectingContributingand Creating quality environment.Oh, the one value I was forgetting is spirituality. I'm not religious but I mean spirituality in a general broad sense. Verb form - spiritualiting? Being spiritual I guess sounds better.

And the others in verb formCuriositing? or maybe Inquiring. Investigating. Studying. Learning.And Corporaliting? Anyone know Italian out there? What is verb form of Corporalita? The -ing form.

Morning , I'm very happy to hear from you :-)

Thanks so much for sharing, I really like your " Corporalita " , it definately works for me too. Everything you say about mind, body and good health is true. At least, that is my experience as well.

As for " economics " , when I look deeper, I see envorinment. Sure money is needed to create the environment that you value because it provides a comfortable place to enjoy connections with others, be it within your home or business. Maybe the most important thing there is to have an environment conducive to connection.

I've a huge smile, good to hear from

you,

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 9:22 AM

Subject: Re: Sitting With Values

I'm happy to share mine.CorporalitaConnectionContributionCuriosityEconomicsI'm missing one. I'll look when I get home. I like this part of ACT the best. It's similar in many ways to positive psychology. It is a positive psychology.

Corporalita I got from the book How To Think Like Leonardo da Vinci. It relates to body. It incorporates fitness, good nutritionist, grace, athleticism, good physique, health. I know this won't be high on most people's list of values but it is for me. I don't separate mind and body. it's all the same and so this also incorporates healthy brain functioning too. And the mind-body all is the same and works together and everything is effected by everything else. So how well you think depends on how healthy and fit you are. A lot of people think they can be all intellectual and sit around in a coffee shop and chain smoke and eat crap. I don't think so. And often these folk put down more active and athletic people. This behavior will be determental to your health including your cognitive functioning.

And yes I know the ACT values are about behavior and acting and not obtaining certain goals. How I write it may seem like I'm getting goals and values mixed up. But I'm not. So the Corporalita really I could state as being fit and healthy, eating healthy, moving with grace, doing things that contribute to being healthy.

Economics is not really at all about money. Maybe just what money represents - good and services. But not any kind of obsession with money. Actually more what I'm thinking of is having a nice comfortable apartment that inviting for visitors and is a nice little refuge for me. So maybe the way to state this is " making a home " . But it's not just my home - it would include any kind of asset I have - property or a business. I want it to have quality and give something valuable to the universe. So maybe you guys can help me with a better name than Economics or I'll be interested in any ideas and values you may have similar to this. I'd be interested in how you state it. Or maybe even if this is not one of your high values, if you think you have better way for me to state this, then let me know.

Hi Jo, I don't suppose anyone could say that the values you determined are wrong. I think it would be like someone telling you your name is wrong. Creating my values was a massive step in my journey, it softened me very much. I'm so pleased to have them I want to shout what I learned from a roof-top, I've posted all my values on multiple occasions hoping that others will do the same but many people are shy to post their values. I'm wondering if you would share your discoveries? What are your values made up of?

With respect.

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 4:01 AM

Subject: Sitting With Values

It's been an interesting couple days where I have spent most of my time sitting with values. (Yes I am finally putting the effort in).

Several months ago I did a Values Discovery Questionnaire, but at that time I dismissed as rubbish to my therapist, as I felt I was only writing what was expected, what one should put in as answers. At that time every question, was fraught with resistance taking an hour to come up with " I don't Know! " It was like trying to get blood out of a stone, while mentally bunching the living daylights out of it at the same time. In the end I wrote out my values with a sense of duty, rather than what I saw as my values as I just could not get my head to go there. Since breaking through some of my resistance and learning to sit with it, I have realised I have lived a valued way in my past as I was really passionate on developing personal effectiveness. So somewhere along the way I stopped living my life in a valued way. I just gave up.

Now I can come up with a lot of different reasons why this happened, after all our minds are really good at coming up with all sorts of explanations, justifications, etc. Does it really matter, and will it really make a difference. Or is it more important to just realise you were lost on the mind train.

The analyser in me wants to spend hours trying to establish when it actually happened, at what point, what was the true catalyst, how can I prevent this happening again, it can't happen again. Then I realised these are just thoughts. I can't change the past and I don't know what is around the corner, I can only deal with this moment. What I have done is acknowledge and accept my sadness that I gave up on me and let go of what I feel were my lost years, so I can move forward.

So today is all I have and today I sat with my Values Identification Worksheet, full of words that express who you are. The list was long and not exhaustive you could even add to it. It still fascinates me that despite knowing what I now know and understand, I still feel the twinge of discomfort when I picked up the list to read it. Reading the words one by one, realising my heart was beating just that little bit faster, breath quickening, heat building, muscles tensing, stomach churning. I am not enjoying looking at these words. So I put it down, I took a breath and listened and remained present. Once I had dealt with my thoughts I picked up the worksheet started again. It's taken me 5 hours, but I now have my list of 12 values, ready to discuss with my therapist. Interestingly my mind wants me to worry there wrong, that there are more important ones I haven't selected, I've messed up, and I have made a big mistake. I felt anxious when I

completed my list of 12 values, what if my mind was right...so yet again time to breath and sit still, be present and observe. I sent all those thoughts down my lovely river, with thanks and loving kindness for today I have my Values List.

I promised you and many others I would let you know if I made any progress with values. I know I did today.

With loving kindness

Jo

July 11, 2012

,In a nutshell, I do my spiritualiting by studying science - physics, biology, chemistry, anthropology, evolution, nature.I don't believe in any religions but I do like the pagan religions, the Greek religion with all their different gods and Native American religions which seems to me to be much more about this earth and this life and more practical than something like Christianity which is more focused on a life after death and so not about this life now on earth. Also Christianity is so anti-body. Anti-sex.

Yes, quality. That has continually come up in different contexts since I started this journey. I had a really difficult moment on the phone with my therapist one time and he mentioned 'the quality of emotion'. Seeing the emotion with 'quality' changed the way I experienced it. Yes, quality is very important too.

I wonder how you would practice, " spiritualiting " ? I think I'll spend a lifetime of unknown within the spiritual domain. I'm not religous either so my practice is more about moving towards the need for nothing. Not to be dramatic, I just think it would be great to want for nothing.

:-)

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 1:32 PM

Subject: Re: Sitting With Values

Good Evening ,Thanks for warm welcome.Environment. Yes I like it. I was thinking Quality while driving home. Creating Quality Environment maybe is a good way to put it. Yes, you know I didn't mention this, but in career or work I want to be doing quality work and having good quality work relations - kind of ties in with connection and contribution. So yeah some values of mine put in the more action verb case are

ConnectingContributingand Creating quality environment.Oh, the one value I was forgetting is spirituality. I'm not religious but I mean spirituality in a general broad sense. Verb form - spiritualiting? Being spiritual I guess sounds better.

And the others in verb formCuriositing? or maybe Inquiring. Investigating. Studying. Learning.And Corporaliting? Anyone know Italian out there? What is verb form of Corporalita? The -ing form.

Morning , I'm very happy to hear from you :-)

Thanks so much for sharing, I really like your " Corporalita " , it definately works for me too. Everything you say about mind, body and good health is true. At least, that is my experience as well.

As for " economics " , when I look deeper, I see envorinment. Sure money is needed to create the environment that you value because it provides a comfortable place to enjoy connections with others, be it within your home or business. Maybe the most important thing there is to have an environment conducive to connection.

I've a huge smile, good to hear from

you,

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 9:22 AM

Subject: Re: Sitting With Values

I'm happy to share mine.CorporalitaConnectionContributionCuriosityEconomicsI'm missing one. I'll look when I get home. I like this part of ACT the best. It's similar in many ways to positive psychology. It is a positive psychology.

Corporalita I got from the book How To Think Like Leonardo da Vinci. It relates to body. It incorporates fitness, good nutritionist, grace, athleticism, good physique, health. I know this won't be high on most people's list of values but it is for me. I don't separate mind and body. it's all the same and so this also incorporates healthy brain functioning too. And the mind-body all is the same and works together and everything is effected by everything else. So how well you think depends on how healthy and fit you are. A lot of people think they can be all intellectual and sit around in a coffee shop and chain smoke and eat crap. I don't think so. And often these folk put down more active and athletic people. This behavior will be determental to your health including your cognitive functioning.

And yes I know the ACT values are about behavior and acting and not obtaining certain goals. How I write it may seem like I'm getting goals and values mixed up. But I'm not. So the Corporalita really I could state as being fit and healthy, eating healthy, moving with grace, doing things that contribute to being healthy.

Economics is not really at all about money. Maybe just what money represents - good and services. But not any kind of obsession with money. Actually more what I'm thinking of is having a nice comfortable apartment that inviting for visitors and is a nice little refuge for me. So maybe the way to state this is " making a home " . But it's not just my home - it would include any kind of asset I have - property or a business. I want it to have quality and give something valuable to the universe. So maybe you guys can help me with a better name than Economics or I'll be interested in any ideas and values you may have similar to this. I'd be interested in how you state it. Or maybe even if this is not one of your high values, if you think you have better way for me to state this, then let me know.

Hi Jo, I don't suppose anyone could say that the values you determined are wrong. I think it would be like someone telling you your name is wrong. Creating my values was a massive step in my journey, it softened me very much. I'm so pleased to have them I want to shout what I learned from a roof-top, I've posted all my values on multiple occasions hoping that others will do the same but many people are shy to post their values. I'm wondering if you would share your discoveries? What are your values made up of?

With respect.

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Wednesday, 11 July 2012 4:01 AM

Subject: Sitting With Values

It's been an interesting couple days where I have spent most of my time sitting with values. (Yes I am finally putting the effort in).

Several months ago I did a Values Discovery Questionnaire, but at that time I dismissed as rubbish to my therapist, as I felt I was only writing what was expected, what one should put in as answers. At that time every question, was fraught with resistance taking an hour to come up with " I don't Know! " It was like trying to get blood out of a stone, while mentally bunching the living daylights out of it at the same time. In the end I wrote out my values with a sense of duty, rather than what I saw as my values as I just could not get my head to go there. Since breaking through some of my resistance and learning to sit with it, I have realised I have lived a valued way in my past as I was really passionate on developing personal effectiveness. So somewhere along the way I stopped living my life in a valued way. I just gave up.

Now I can come up with a lot of different reasons why this happened, after all our minds are really good at coming up with all sorts of explanations, justifications, etc. Does it really matter, and will it really make a difference. Or is it more important to just realise you were lost on the mind train.

The analyser in me wants to spend hours trying to establish when it actually happened, at what point, what was the true catalyst, how can I prevent this happening again, it can't happen again. Then I realised these are just thoughts. I can't change the past and I don't know what is around the corner, I can only deal with this moment. What I have done is acknowledge and accept my sadness that I gave up on me and let go of what I feel were my lost years, so I can move forward.

So today is all I have and today I sat with my Values Identification Worksheet, full of words that express who you are. The list was long and not exhaustive you could even add to it. It still fascinates me that despite knowing what I now know and understand, I still feel the twinge of discomfort when I picked up the list to read it. Reading the words one by one, realising my heart was beating just that little bit faster, breath quickening, heat building, muscles tensing, stomach churning. I am not enjoying looking at these words. So I put it down, I took a breath and listened and remained present. Once I had dealt with my thoughts I picked up the worksheet started again. It's taken me 5 hours, but I now have my list of 12 values, ready to discuss with my therapist. Interestingly my mind wants me to worry there wrong, that there are more important ones I haven't selected, I've messed up, and I have made a big mistake. I felt anxious when I

completed my list of 12 values, what if my mind was right...so yet again time to breath and sit still, be present and observe. I sent all those thoughts down my lovely river, with thanks and loving kindness for today I have my Values List.

I promised you and many others I would let you know if I made any progress with values. I know I did today.

With loving kindness

Jo

July 12, 2012

Values, what you CARE about, I think, gives your life journey dignity. Without

Values, without Caring about Something, we meander through life without any

purpose, without any sense of where we're headed, or if anything at all matters

or mean anything.

I think we wanna have/need Values, because we Care, about something.

Tom

>

> It's been an interesting couple days where I have spent most of my time

sitting with values. (Yes I am finally putting the effort in).

>

> Several months ago I did a Values Discovery Questionnaire, but at that time I

dismissed as rubbish to my therapist, as I felt I was only writing what was

expected, what one should put in as answers. At that time every question, was

fraught with resistance taking an hour to come up with " I don't Know! " It was

like trying to get blood out of a stone, while mentally bunching the living

daylights out of it at the same time. In the end I wrote out my values with a

sense of duty, rather than what I saw as my values as I just could not get my

head to go there. Since breaking through some of my resistance and learning to

sit with it, I have realised I have lived a valued way in my past as I was

really passionate on developing personal effectiveness. So somewhere along the

way I stopped living my life in a valued way. I just gave up.

>

> Now I can come up with a lot of different reasons why this happened, after all

our minds are really good at coming up with all sorts of explanations,

justifications, etc. Does it really matter, and will it really make a

difference. Or is it more important to just realise you were lost on the mind

train.

>

> The analyser in me wants to spend hours trying to establish when it actually

happened, at what point, what was the true catalyst, how can I prevent this

happening again, it can't happen again. Then I realised these are just

thoughts. I can't change the past and I don't know what is around the corner, I

can only deal with this moment. What I have done is acknowledge and accept my

sadness that I gave up on me and let go of what I feel were my lost years, so I

can move forward.

>

> So today is all I have and today I sat with my Values Identification

Worksheet, full of words that express who you are. The list was long and not

exhaustive you could even add to it. It still fascinates me that despite

knowing what I now know and understand, I still feel the twinge of discomfort

when I picked up the list to read it. Reading the words one by one, realising

my heart was beating just that little bit faster, breath quickening, heat

building, muscles tensing, stomach churning. I am not enjoying looking at these

words. So I put it down, I took a breath and listened and remained present.

Once I had dealt with my thoughts I picked up the worksheet started again. It's

taken me 5 hours, but I now have my list of 12 values, ready to discuss with my

therapist. Interestingly my mind wants me to worry there wrong, that there are

more important ones I haven't selected, I've messed up, and I have made a big

mistake. I felt anxious when I completed my list of 12 values, what if my mind

was right...so yet again time to breath and sit still, be present and observe.

I sent all those thoughts down my lovely river, with thanks and loving kindness

for today I have my Values List.

>

> I promised you and many others I would let you know if I made any

progress with values. I know I did today.

>

> With loving kindness

> Jo

>

July 12, 2012