Re: To Lou - the most honest person I know

[Guest guest]



Helena,

I have sat here reading your little poem for quite some time not knowing how to reply.

It has obviously hit a very painful chord within my being.

All my life I have had great difficulty dealing with people who I have found to be dishonest. With many of these people I have been inclined to disrespect them and whereas before I thought of them as friends I then began to distance myself from them.

So, you can probably understand why your email affected me so much.

I now realise through ACT that I have to accept that people aren't always strictly honest and in fact I thought I had reached this acceptance. Unfortunately your message obviously struck a chord and made me realise that I haven't fully accepted dishonesty. But I will get there.

Lots of love

Ivor

To Lou - the most honest person I know

If you search for tendernessit isn't hard to find.You can have the love you need to live.But if you look for truthfulnessYou might just as well be blind.It always seems to be so hard to give.Honesty is such a lonely word.Everyone is so untrue.Honesty is hardly ever heard.And mostly what I need from you.I can always find someoneto say they sympathize.If I wear my heart out on my sleeve.But I don't want some pretty faceto tell me pretty lies.All I want is someone to believe.Honesty is such a lonely word.Everyone is so untrue.Honesty is hardly ever heard.And mostly what I need from you.I can find a lover.I can find a friend.I can have security until the bitter end.Anyone can comfort mewith promises again.I know, I know.When I'm deep inside of medon't be too concerned.I won't ask for nothin' while I'm gone.But when I want sinceritytell me where else can I turn.Because you're the one I depend upon.Honesty is such a lonely word.Everyone is so untrue.Honesty is hardly ever heard.And mostly what I need from you.

[Guest guest]

Hi Ivor,

I should have made it clear that I did not create those words. They're from a song by , and I've always loved it. I know exactly what you are talking about. It is hard to accept dishonesty. Perhaps a better way to put it would be we need to accept that people are sometimes dishonest, and that's what we accept - "sometimes people are dishonest" - not the dishonesty itself. I value honesty, right up there with love. Some people find it easier to be dishonest; maybe they didn't have good role models when they were growing up ... whatever.

Even as a child, I valued honesty. When we got home from school (I think I was in 3rd grade), my mother asked me if I had ice cream from the ice cream truck at school that day. I always told the truth, even though it meant I would not be able to have any more ice cream at home. Imagine my horror when my sister lied and said we didn't have any at school when, in fact, we did. What a dilemma to an 8-year old. I kept my mouth shut, but later I told my sister privately that I would tell the truth next time, even if she lied. She never lied again (about that anyway).

I once dated a guy who told me he had been in the Marines when he was actually in the Army. When I learned the truth, I dropped him like a hot potato. When someone can drop a lie that easily for no good reason, I run away fast.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Sunday, April 15, 2012 11:41:11 AMSubject: Re: To Lou - the most honest person I know

 Helena,

I have sat here reading your little poem for quite some time not knowing how to reply.

It has obviously hit a very painful chord within my being.

All my life I have had great difficulty dealing with people who I have found to be dishonest. With many of these people I have been inclined to disrespect them and whereas before I thought of them as friends I then began to distance myself from them.

So, you can probably understand why your email affected me so much.

I now realise through ACT that I have to accept that people aren't always strictly honest and in fact I thought I had reached this acceptance. Unfortunately your message obviously struck a chord and made me realise that I haven't fully accepted dishonesty. But I will get there.

Lots of love

Ivor

To Lou - the most honest person I know

If you search for tendernessit isn't hard to find.You can have the love you need to live.But if you look for truthfulnessYou might just as well be blind.It always seems to be so hard to give.Honesty is such a lonely word.Everyone is so untrue.Honesty is hardly ever heard.And mostly what I need from you.I can always find someoneto say they sympathize.If I wear my heart out on my sleeve.But I don't want some pretty faceto tell me pretty lies.All I want is someone to believe.Honesty is such a lonely word.Everyone is so untrue.Honesty is hardly ever heard.And mostly what I need from you.I can find a lover.I can find a friend.I can have security until the bitter end.Anyone can comfort mewith promises again.I know, I know.When I'm deep inside of medon't be too concerned.I won't ask for nothin' while I'm gone.But when I want sinceritytell me where else can I turn.Because you're the one I depend upon.Honesty is such a lonely word.Everyone is so untrue.Honesty is hardly ever heard.And mostly what I need from you.

[Guest guest]

Hi Ivor,

I should have made it clear that I did not create those words. They're from a song by , and I've always loved it. I know exactly what you are talking about. It is hard to accept dishonesty. Perhaps a better way to put it would be we need to accept that people are sometimes dishonest, and that's what we accept - "sometimes people are dishonest" - not the dishonesty itself. I value honesty, right up there with love. Some people find it easier to be dishonest; maybe they didn't have good role models when they were growing up ... whatever.

Even as a child, I valued honesty. When we got home from school (I think I was in 3rd grade), my mother asked me if I had ice cream from the ice cream truck at school that day. I always told the truth, even though it meant I would not be able to have any more ice cream at home. Imagine my horror when my sister lied and said we didn't have any at school when, in fact, we did. What a dilemma to an 8-year old. I kept my mouth shut, but later I told my sister privately that I would tell the truth next time, even if she lied. She never lied again (about that anyway).

I once dated a guy who told me he had been in the Marines when he was actually in the Army. When I learned the truth, I dropped him like a hot potato. When someone can drop a lie that easily for no good reason, I run away fast.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Sunday, April 15, 2012 11:41:11 AMSubject: Re: To Lou - the most honest person I know

 Helena,

I have sat here reading your little poem for quite some time not knowing how to reply.

It has obviously hit a very painful chord within my being.

All my life I have had great difficulty dealing with people who I have found to be dishonest. With many of these people I have been inclined to disrespect them and whereas before I thought of them as friends I then began to distance myself from them.

So, you can probably understand why your email affected me so much.

I now realise through ACT that I have to accept that people aren't always strictly honest and in fact I thought I had reached this acceptance. Unfortunately your message obviously struck a chord and made me realise that I haven't fully accepted dishonesty. But I will get there.

Lots of love

Ivor

To Lou - the most honest person I know

If you search for tendernessit isn't hard to find.You can have the love you need to live.But if you look for truthfulnessYou might just as well be blind.It always seems to be so hard to give.Honesty is such a lonely word.Everyone is so untrue.Honesty is hardly ever heard.And mostly what I need from you.I can always find someoneto say they sympathize.If I wear my heart out on my sleeve.But I don't want some pretty faceto tell me pretty lies.All I want is someone to believe.Honesty is such a lonely word.Everyone is so untrue.Honesty is hardly ever heard.And mostly what I need from you.I can find a lover.I can find a friend.I can have security until the bitter end.Anyone can comfort mewith promises again.I know, I know.When I'm deep inside of medon't be too concerned.I won't ask for nothin' while I'm gone.But when I want sinceritytell me where else can I turn.Because you're the one I depend upon.Honesty is such a lonely word.Everyone is so untrue.Honesty is hardly ever heard.And mostly what I need from you.

[Guest guest]



Hi Helena

People do lie very easily and I believe I have to understand and accept this however difficult I have found it in the past.

lots of love

ivor

To Lou - the most honest person I know

If you search for tendernessit isn't hard to find.You can have the love you need to live.But if you look for truthfulnessYou might just as well be blind.It always seems to be so hard to give.Honesty is such a lonely word.Everyone is so untrue.Honesty is hardly ever heard.And mostly what I need from you.I can always find someoneto say they sympathize.If I wear my heart out on my sleeve.But I don't want some pretty faceto tell me pretty lies.All I want is someone to believe.Honesty is such a lonely word.Everyone is so untrue.Honesty is hardly ever heard.And mostly what I need from you.I can find a lover.I can find a friend.I can have security until the bitter end.Anyone can comfort mewith promises again.I know, I know.When I'm deep inside of medon't be too concerned.I won't ask for nothin' while I'm gone.But when I want sinceritytell me where else can I turn.Because you're the one I depend upon.Honesty is such a lonely word.Everyone is so untrue.Honesty is hardly ever heard.And mostly what I need from you.

[Guest guest]



Hi Helena

People do lie very easily and I believe I have to understand and accept this however difficult I have found it in the past.

lots of love

ivor

To Lou - the most honest person I know

If you search for tendernessit isn't hard to find.You can have the love you need to live.But if you look for truthfulnessYou might just as well be blind.It always seems to be so hard to give.Honesty is such a lonely word.Everyone is so untrue.Honesty is hardly ever heard.And mostly what I need from you.I can always find someoneto say they sympathize.If I wear my heart out on my sleeve.But I don't want some pretty faceto tell me pretty lies.All I want is someone to believe.Honesty is such a lonely word.Everyone is so untrue.Honesty is hardly ever heard.And mostly what I need from you.I can find a lover.I can find a friend.I can have security until the bitter end.Anyone can comfort mewith promises again.I know, I know.When I'm deep inside of medon't be too concerned.I won't ask for nothin' while I'm gone.But when I want sinceritytell me where else can I turn.Because you're the one I depend upon.Honesty is such a lonely word.Everyone is so untrue.Honesty is hardly ever heard.And mostly what I need from you.