Re: NC but what about Easter?

[Guest guest]

> >

> >

> > What do you guys think? This is the first 'occasion' we've had

> since

> > going NC, so we are struggling with just letting the day slide

> by. If

> > she rejected the card and sent it back or something, at least we

> could

> > say that we tried. I don't know...

> >

>

I still sent a birthday card and gift basket to my dad after I went

NC. (My mother is the BP.) No doubt, he had already made his choice

whose side he was on...to be expected after nearly 45 years of a co-

dependent relationship, but I just couldn't completely ignore it. I

did not personally speak to him on his birthday...I did have my kids

call...of course Nada had to butt in on the conversation. I don't

regret it.

I am wondering what to do about Easter though...do I send a card?

Don't I? I definitely won't call and completely break the NC. I

kind of feel like its a no win situation. Even before I could never

purchase one of those gushing cards (would love a " I hate you, but

Happy Easter anyway! " card...like someone on this board suggested for

a birthday). A non-personal Easter greeting will likely be seen as a

slap in the face...but not really my problem how it is received. If

I don't send one, then I get the " she didn't even send a card. " So

I'm leaning toward sending one and leaving it at that.

Any thoughts out there?

[Guest guest]

I think it depends on how it would be taken by your

particular parent. I know if I sent an Easter card

(and, I usually don't send Easter cards anyway.) it

would be taken as an " invitation " to contact...even a

generic one. I don't want it taken that way, so I'm

not sending anything. If she wants to complain to

others that I don't send anything for holidays/Mothers

Day/birthday, well, I think most sane people are going

to wonder why. And, if they know me at all, they're

going to eventually realize that my mother must have

earned herself into no contact.

And, she knows that if she gets pissy about me

ignoring a birthday that I will absolutely let people

know about the birthdays of MINE that SHE has ignored.

I've done that to her before...I got confronted by

one of her friends about not sending a birthday card

and I was like " well, my birthday was 5 months

ago...and it was also 17 months ago. I never got a

call, email, or card for those birthdays from her, so

I took that to mean we weren't doing birthdays any

longer. " hehehehehehehehe.

--- jjfan42 wrote:

>

> > >

> > >

> > > What do you guys think? This is the first

> 'occasion' we've had

> > since

> > > going NC, so we are struggling with just letting

> the day slide

> > by. If

> > > she rejected the card and sent it back or

> something, at least we

> > could

> > > say that we tried. I don't know...

> > >

> >

>

> I still sent a birthday card and gift basket to my

> dad after I went

> NC. (My mother is the BP.) No doubt, he had

> already made his choice

> whose side he was on...to be expected after nearly

> 45 years of a co-

> dependent relationship, but I just couldn't

> completely ignore it. I

> did not personally speak to him on his birthday...I

> did have my kids

> call...of course Nada had to butt in on the

> conversation. I don't

> regret it.

>

> I am wondering what to do about Easter though...do I

> send a card?

> Don't I? I definitely won't call and completely

> break the NC. I

> kind of feel like its a no win situation. Even

> before I could never

> purchase one of those gushing cards (would love a " I

> hate you, but

> Happy Easter anyway! " card...like someone on this

> board suggested for

> a birthday). A non-personal Easter greeting will

> likely be seen as a

> slap in the face...but not really my problem how it

> is received. If

> I don't send one, then I get the " she didn't even

> send a card. " So

> I'm leaning toward sending one and leaving it at

> that.

>

> Any thoughts out there?

>

>

>

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