WARNING SEXUAL CONTENT Re: Re: Nadas and sexual development

[Guest guest]

There seems to be a common behavioral pattern with BPD Nadas. Mine hated women,

hated her own daughters, yet kissed ass to every man she met. Literally, she

would sell any one of us out to gain the favor of a man. Why is that? Why do so

many female BPDs have a preoccupation with men themselves and then accuse all

the other girls around them of being sluts?I've always suspected mine of having

a major " Daddy Complex " (her father committed suicicide when she was about 12 or

14). Also, it wouldn't surprise me if she had been sexually molested (she has

some warped ideas on sexuality). Is it just me or have the rest of you had that

experience?

mercysaidno415 wrote: Hi Friendsofcam,

I thank you for your response to my earlier post. However, I have to

respectfully disagree with you. I filled in some details in a

subsequent post to Tag. I did indeed admit my part in being snowed

by an older boy HOWEVER, my nada INVITED him to live in our home. At

the time my Dad was gone and it was her, me and my younger sister

living together. When you are a single mother with two girls, you do

not invite an older teenage boy you just met to LIVE in your home

like your long lost son. She talked him up, she said he was a 'nice'

boy, he had her fooled, he charmed me, I fell for it, he took

advantage of the stupid divorced single mother and her naive,

trusting daughter. She is partly to blame. You just don't do that.

She should have been the parent, I trusted her and he was just an

opportunistic jerk. She set the situation up to affect the rest of

my life,....I blame her AND I blame him. He raped me and she didn't

kick him out, she blew me off with a lame excuse, let him stay and

abuse me too! WTF??? (See, Scout? Perfect.)

I do blame her as well as him.

Kindest regards,

Mercy

>

> Mercy, Your mom definitely did send mixed messages about sex. And

> that was weird to tell you to get a condom. She should have been

> more supportive. However, I don't think that it's her fault that

> you were raped, or that your first experience was rape.

>

> That was the fault of the man who did it. Still, I do believe

that

> being in abusive homes makes us more vulnerable to being

> victimized. Because, it is confusing, lowers our self esteem and

> makes us more fragile. I remember hearing a rapist on the news say

> that he can spot a girl like that out of a hundred girls, walking

in

> the mall, and he can do it in a minute.

>

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[Guest guest]

Very much an attitude of cowtow to any man. She had an alcoholic

abuse father and I believe that she was sexually abused as a child.

This behavior is how they got along and survived, I think.

But, here's an example. Some man was coming over to fix the

window. We'd never seen this handyman before. I had been out

excercising...in work out clothes. When I walked in my mother was

horrified. " How can you look like that, there's a man in here! "

I said, " who cares. I don't know him. I'm not planning on seeing

him again. Are you? " And then, I was supposed to praise him to high

heaven for existing...make him like me. He was really an arrogant

jerk. Despite, the fact that he was married with children. It made

no sense. " Why are we trying to impress him? " I asked.

And he was responding to me in what I felt an offensive manner. I

guess he picked up some idea that we-I was after him. Gee, go

figure.

I wasn't praising him enough and going along with it. I guess.

Because, he decided that he didn't like me. But, was only there for

my mother. Ya, ok. Whatever that means?

> >

> > Mercy, Your mom definitely did send mixed messages about sex.

And

> > that was weird to tell you to get a condom. She should have been

> > more supportive. However, I don't think that it's her fault that

> > you were raped, or that your first experience was rape.

> >

> > That was the fault of the man who did it. Still, I do believe

> that

> > being in abusive homes makes us more vulnerable to being

> > victimized. Because, it is confusing, lowers our self esteem and

> > makes us more fragile. I remember hearing a rapist on the news

say

> > that he can spot a girl like that out of a hundred girls,

walking

> in

> > the mall, and he can do it in a minute.

> >

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.

>

>