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Re: Bizzarro Gifts

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Welcome......

BARF!!!

I too got a portrait from my nada.......she looks for it when she

comes. I used to move it and make sure it was at least out where

she could see it. Other wise it was in the closet. She has made

comments " why isn't there any pictures of me in your house " . What

crap.....who does this??? I would never expect someone to put my

picture's up in their house.

She would have one of those big, garish, painted portraits of her in

her house if she thought she could get away with it.

Barf, barf, barf!!!

drlingirl

> >

> > Hi hi,

> > I've noticed a lot of mentions of strange gifts from da nada.

I'd

> love to

> > hear more. My mom saves manilla envelopes for just about

everyone

> she knows.

> > No personal notes or cards, but sometimes blank ones. Lots of

> pictures

> > ripped out of magazines and catalogues, hard candies, and who

knows

> what

> > else.

> >

> > Also, the gifts are so strange. She gave my boyfriend a used

jersey

> with

> > " james " printed on the back (not his name and definitly not his

> team). She

> > also tried to give him one of my brother's childhood drawings

that

> she has

> > saved for the past 32 years or so.

> >

> > I'm interested to hear more about weird gifts. I know a lot of

us

> have

> > recieved clothes that will in no way ever possibly fit.

> >

> > Thanks, Girlscout

> >

> >

> >

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ha ha I know plus why would i want a portrait of her dog

>

> wow. that is amazing. the kitsch factor is through the roof.

>

> sorry, just had to comment. i can't even imagine getting a gift like

> that...picture frames that talk? that's unpossible!

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Hi hi,

> > > > I've noticed a lot of mentions of strange gifts from da nada.

> I'd

> > > love to

> > > > hear more. My mom saves manilla envelopes for just about

> everyone

> > > she knows.

> > > > No personal notes or cards, but sometimes blank ones. Lots of

> > > pictures

> > > > ripped out of magazines and catalogues, hard candies, and who

> knows

> > > what

> > > > else.

> > > >

> > > > Also, the gifts are so strange. She gave my boyfriend a used

> jersey

> > > with

> > > > " james " printed on the back (not his name and definitly not his

> > > team). She

> > > > also tried to give him one of my brother's childhood drawings

> that

> > > she has

> > > > saved for the past 32 years or so.

> > > >

> > > > I'm interested to hear more about weird gifts. I know a lot of

> us

> > > have

> > > > recieved clothes that will in no way ever possibly fit.

> > > >

> > > > Thanks, Girlscout

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

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Because Girlscout......naturally your mom's dog would be your

SIBLING. We have posted about this before.....

My nada loved going around introducing her dog as my

BROTHER.......and because he was a black lab.....he was MY BLACK

BROTHER. She of course thought she was hilarious.....

Now what is wrong with you....why wouldn't you want a portrait of

your dog-sibling???

:0)drlingirl

> > > > >

> > > > > Hi hi,

> > > > > I've noticed a lot of mentions of strange gifts from da

nada.

> > I'd

> > > > love to

> > > > > hear more. My mom saves manilla envelopes for just about

> > everyone

> > > > she knows.

> > > > > No personal notes or cards, but sometimes blank ones. Lots

of

> > > > pictures

> > > > > ripped out of magazines and catalogues, hard candies, and

who

> > knows

> > > > what

> > > > > else.

> > > > >

> > > > > Also, the gifts are so strange. She gave my boyfriend a

used

> > jersey

> > > > with

> > > > > " james " printed on the back (not his name and definitly

not his

> > > > team). She

> > > > > also tried to give him one of my brother's childhood

drawings

> > that

> > > > she has

> > > > > saved for the past 32 years or so.

> > > > >

> > > > > I'm interested to hear more about weird gifts. I know a

lot of

> > us

> > > > have

> > > > > recieved clothes that will in no way ever possibly fit.

> > > > >

> > > > > Thanks, Girlscout

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

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Wow - how entertaining this thread has been to read.

I am so glad to see that I am not the only one that suffers

the fate of odd gifts.

So, on the lines of pet stuff. My nada just loves to send

stuff to her " grandkitties " . Yes....our cats! We don't have

kids and granted we do spoil our cats like they our our

children it is so weird to get care packages for them.

There really is a point where it just becomes odd and boy

does she hit that nail on the head!

Even better is when her dog sends gifts to our cats.

Seriously.

I couldn't make this stuff up.

I remember one Christmas I was excited because she

asked me to make an Amazon wish list. I thought finally....

maybe she was really listening and wanted to get me

something I would use and love. I had been in the process

of trying to build up a nice cookware collection. On Christmas

I opened my presents to find on pot that I had wanted only a much

different and cheaper style. The other was a roasting pan which

I had no use for.

I got home that day and threw out the usual other garbage (toys,

games for kids) that she gives us every year and listed the 2 pans

on eBay. She called me later that night sobbing uncontrollably

because she found my eBay auction. OMG! It was terrible! You

would have thought someone died the way she was carrying on.

That is the way my nada works. She will give a few toys, some new

some from Mcs to me and hubby. Then for me, she will give

me something that I want but it will be different in some critical way.

Enough so that it isn't what I really would ever use. Then of course,

I am so ungrateful for not appreciating that she got me exactly what

I asked for. Yeah. Right. Glad you think so lady.

I tell ya, being NC this Christmas was a pleasure! It was so nice not

having to deal with all the drama of her and the holidays!

Maeghan

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TFF! Perhaps subliminally she was letting you know what she thought of you. Sit,

speak, roll over. Amazingly disconnected. I could understand if she gave you a

nicely framed picture of your dogs, but her dog? Hmmmmm.

Re: Re: Bizzarro Gifts

Hey, welcome and congrats on your survivorship

Ha ha, my mom did that once - I mean gave me a portrait of herself framed. I

threw out the picture and used the frame for a photo of my dog.

Even weirder than that, my bpd ex mother in law once gave us a professional

portrait of her dog with a frame that you could record sound into. She

recorded herself saying " speak " and the dog barking into it. WTF? Why would

I want that?

>

> I'm new to this group too. Interesting and amazing topics! For

> Christmas, my BPD mother gave me and my husband a professional

> portrait of herself; she also gave one to my daughter (but in a

> different pose) who still lives at home. Then, for my birthday a

> couple of weeks ago, guess what I got? Yep! Another one--different

> from the one she gave me at Xmas, but the exact same one she gave my

> daughter at Xmas. Nice.

>

>

> >

> > Hi hi,

> > I've noticed a lot of mentions of strange gifts from da nada. I'd

> love to

> > hear more. My mom saves manilla envelopes for just about everyone

> she knows.

> > No personal notes or cards, but sometimes blank ones. Lots of

> pictures

> > ripped out of magazines and catalogues, hard candies, and who knows

> what

> > else.

> >

> > Also, the gifts are so strange. She gave my boyfriend a used jersey

> with

> > " james " printed on the back (not his name and definitly not his

> team). She

> > also tried to give him one of my brother's childhood drawings that

> she has

> > saved for the past 32 years or so.

> >

> > I'm interested to hear more about weird gifts. I know a lot of us

> have

> > recieved clothes that will in no way ever possibly fit.

> >

> > Thanks, Girlscout

> >

> >

> >

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Oh my gosh! I can't believe that she found it on Ebay! I'm sorry,

but, I'm laughing hysterically! Though, it must have been tragic

at the time. I'd have just told her " Oops, well I got two. "

>

> Wow - how entertaining this thread has been to read.

> I am so glad to see that I am not the only one that suffers

> the fate of odd gifts.

>

> So, on the lines of pet stuff. My nada just loves to send

> stuff to her " grandkitties " . Yes....our cats! We don't have

> kids and granted we do spoil our cats like they our our

> children it is so weird to get care packages for them.

> There really is a point where it just becomes odd and boy

> does she hit that nail on the head!

>

> Even better is when her dog sends gifts to our cats.

>

> Seriously.

>

> I couldn't make this stuff up.

>

> I remember one Christmas I was excited because she

> asked me to make an Amazon wish list. I thought finally....

> maybe she was really listening and wanted to get me

> something I would use and love. I had been in the process

> of trying to build up a nice cookware collection. On Christmas

> I opened my presents to find on pot that I had wanted only a much

> different and cheaper style. The other was a roasting pan which

> I had no use for.

>

> I got home that day and threw out the usual other garbage (toys,

> games for kids) that she gives us every year and listed the 2 pans

> on eBay. She called me later that night sobbing uncontrollably

> because she found my eBay auction. OMG! It was terrible! You

> would have thought someone died the way she was carrying on.

>

> That is the way my nada works. She will give a few toys, some new

> some from Mcs to me and hubby. Then for me, she will give

> me something that I want but it will be different in some critical

way.

> Enough so that it isn't what I really would ever use. Then of

course,

> I am so ungrateful for not appreciating that she got me exactly

what

> I asked for. Yeah. Right. Glad you think so lady.

>

> I tell ya, being NC this Christmas was a pleasure! It was so nice

not

> having to deal with all the drama of her and the holidays!

>

> Maeghan

>

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It was funny. After I hung up the phone DH and I had

quite the laugh about it! That was around the time that we

were starting to really see that something wasn't quite right

with her (or well, I knew that for a while but she was getting worse).

On the up side I made really good money on those pans! LOL :D

What got me about it is that she had to know when she

got them for me that I wouldn't use them. I am SO uber particular

about my cookware. She knew my eBay user name too, so

she must have intentionally gone looking knowing what she

would find. Talk about being bated by her!!!

Oh my gosh! I can't believe that she found it on Ebay! I'm sorry,

but, I'm laughing hysterically! Though, it must have been tragic

at the time. I'd have just told her " Oops, well I got two. "

>

> Wow - how entertaining this thread has been to read.

> I am so glad to see that I am not the only one that suffers

> the fate of odd gifts.

>

> So, on the lines of pet stuff. My nada just loves to send

> stuff to her " grandkitties " . Yes....our cats! We don't have

> kids and granted we do spoil our cats like they our our

> children it is so weird to get care packages for them.

> There really is a point where it just becomes odd and boy

> does she hit that nail on the head!

>

> Even better is when her dog sends gifts to our cats.

>

> Seriously.

>

> I couldn't make this stuff up.

>

> I remember one Christmas I was excited because she

> asked me to make an Amazon wish list. I thought finally....

> maybe she was really listening and wanted to get me

> something I would use and love. I had been in the process

> of trying to build up a nice cookware collection. On Christmas

> I opened my presents to find on pot that I had wanted only a much

> different and cheaper style. The other was a roasting pan which

> I had no use for.

>

> I got home that day and threw out the usual other garbage (toys,

> games for kids) that she gives us every year and listed the 2 pans

> on eBay. She called me later that night sobbing uncontrollably

> because she found my eBay auction. OMG! It was terrible! You

> would have thought someone died the way she was carrying on.

>

> That is the way my nada works. She will give a few toys, some new

> some from Mcs to me and hubby. Then for me, she will give

> me something that I want but it will be different in some critical

way.

> Enough so that it isn't what I really would ever use. Then of

course,

> I am so ungrateful for not appreciating that she got me exactly

what

> I asked for. Yeah. Right. Glad you think so lady.

>

> I tell ya, being NC this Christmas was a pleasure! It was so nice

not

> having to deal with all the drama of her and the holidays!

>

> Maeghan

>

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>

> ....Talk about being bated by her!!!

>

If BPDs are good at anything, it's bating. I can't tell you how many

phone conversations with my mother started with, " I'm too tired to

fight " or " I'm too old to fight anymore. " Then she'd proceed to bait

me into an argument. I'm done with that for now though. I haven't

taken a call from her since December 21st after having been NC from mid-

August to my birthday in early December.

As for cookware that I don't need...my husband and I got a crock-pot

for Christmas from Nada and my father. I already have two...one of

mine is only one year old. So last time St. de came

around collecting clothes and housewares, I put out the brand new crock

pot I got for Christmas along with Nada's old clothes she has attempted

to hand down.

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Good for you for blessing someone else with your brand new crock pot!

-Kyla

> >

> > ....Talk about being bated by her!!!

> >

>

> If BPDs are good at anything, it's bating. I can't tell you how

many

> phone conversations with my mother started with, " I'm too tired to

> fight " or " I'm too old to fight anymore. " Then she'd proceed to

bait

> me into an argument. I'm done with that for now though. I

haven't

> taken a call from her since December 21st after having been NC

from mid-

> August to my birthday in early December.

>

> As for cookware that I don't need...my husband and I got a crock-

pot

> for Christmas from Nada and my father. I already have two...one

of

> mine is only one year old. So last time St. de came

> around collecting clothes and housewares, I put out the brand new

crock

> pot I got for Christmas along with Nada's old clothes she has

attempted

> to hand down.

>

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Sarita,

Hit the " messages in this topic " link at the end of this e-mail. It will take

you all the way back to the original post. The number to the right of it is the

number of responses to the original posting. Hope this helps.

Re: Bizzarro Gifts

Well, I sure wish I could find the original post 'bizarre gifts' to

read and respond to, but these replies are great too -- it's so

therapeutic to find that others have experienced what you did!

I received a framed picture of my mother as a Christmas gift when I

was about 11, which I used to face to the wall when I didn't want to

look at it (which was most of the time) and she used to come in my

room every day (without knocking, without saying a word), just walk

in and turn it round and leave again.

As we got older, my siblings and I would get wierd things that we

didn't want -- it was just stuff she found at the thrift store --

she'd pick out whatever she decided was the best bargain, without any

regard as to whether it would fit us, suit us, or whether we would

like it. Usually we'd just stuff it in a bottom drawer and forget

about it -- until it turned up again as the present of another

sibling the following Christmas!

Another typical present nowadays is free gifts -- you know, the sort

of thing you get when you apply for a credit card, or if you order a

year's subscription for a magazine, it will come with some kind of

free gift. Then she wraps it up (in used wrapping paper of course)

and gives it to us for Christmas and birthday presents.

All you can do really is laugh. Her presents are a standing family

joke.

All I got this year was a letter that arrived a week before my

birthday containing a cryptic comment 'I'll be thinking of you on

your birthday next week' and the rest of the letter was a diatribe

against other family members, as usual . . . . I suppose

her 'thinking of me' was my present this year . . . .

Well, you have to have a sense of humor about these things I think!

The upside is that I feel so amazingly happy now when my grown

children give me nice presents! I appreciate it so much :)

>

> Wow - how entertaining this thread has been to read.

> I am so glad to see that I am not the only one that suffers

> the fate of odd gifts.

>

> So, on the lines of pet stuff. My nada just loves to send

> stuff to her " grandkitties " . Yes....our cats! We don't have

> kids and granted we do spoil our cats like they our our

> children it is so weird to get care packages for them.

> There really is a point where it just becomes odd and boy

> does she hit that nail on the head!

>

> Even better is when her dog sends gifts to our cats.

>

> Seriously.

>

> I couldn't make this stuff up.

>

> I remember one Christmas I was excited because she

> asked me to make an Amazon wish list. I thought finally....

> maybe she was really listening and wanted to get me

> something I would use and love. I had been in the process

> of trying to build up a nice cookware collection. On Christmas

> I opened my presents to find on pot that I had wanted only a much

> different and cheaper style. The other was a roasting pan which

> I had no use for.

>

> I got home that day and threw out the usual other garbage (toys,

> games for kids) that she gives us every year and listed the 2 pans

> on eBay. She called me later that night sobbing uncontrollably

> because she found my eBay auction. OMG! It was terrible! You

> would have thought someone died the way she was carrying on.

>

> That is the way my nada works. She will give a few toys, some new

> some from Mcs to me and hubby. Then for me, she will give

> me something that I want but it will be different in some critical

way.

> Enough so that it isn't what I really would ever use. Then of

course,

> I am so ungrateful for not appreciating that she got me exactly what

> I asked for. Yeah. Right. Glad you think so lady.

>

> I tell ya, being NC this Christmas was a pleasure! It was so nice

not

> having to deal with all the drama of her and the holidays!

>

> Maeghan

>

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____

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thanks for keeping this going, sarita, I just realized that if you are

on the discussion board and looking at a post, all you have to do is

look below the post where it says 'first' in blue and click on that

and it shows the whole thread. Eureka!!! thanks for asking all the

questions, I've been trying to figure this out for a while. :)

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I understand but still she believe that she should be confronted on that

behavior. She obvioously goes through the insincere motions of " giving " simply

to look good to others or to obligate them somehow. Here's a thought. Next time

she sends you some garbage just return the gift with a " Its the thought that

counts and you obviously didn't put any into this'. be sure to type it out so

that she can't show it to friends/strangers/ any audience to get them to feel

sorry for her. She needs to be confronted or will never change her behavior. She

might not change anyway but at least will stop insulting you with those

degrading gifts.

Girlscout Cowboy wrote: Let's see, to read

the whole thread you click on the e-mail and at the top

you will see a list of other e-mails in the same conversation. So, you

canlook through those.

>

> Well, I sure wish I could find the original post 'bizarre gifts' to

> read and respond to, but these replies are great too -- it's so

> therapeutic to find that others have experienced what you did!

> I received a framed picture of my mother as a Christmas gift when I

> was about 11, which I used to face to the wall when I didn't want to

> look at it (which was most of the time) and she used to come in my

> room every day (without knocking, without saying a word), just walk

> in and turn it round and leave again.

> As we got older, my siblings and I would get wierd things that we

> didn't want -- it was just stuff she found at the thrift store --

> she'd pick out whatever she decided was the best bargain, without any

> regard as to whether it would fit us, suit us, or whether we would

> like it. Usually we'd just stuff it in a bottom drawer and forget

> about it -- until it turned up again as the present of another

> sibling the following Christmas!

> Another typical present nowadays is free gifts -- you know, the sort

> of thing you get when you apply for a credit card, or if you order a

> year's subscription for a magazine, it will come with some kind of

> free gift. Then she wraps it up (in used wrapping paper of course)

> and gives it to us for Christmas and birthday presents.

> All you can do really is laugh. Her presents are a standing family

> joke.

> All I got this year was a letter that arrived a week before my

> birthday containing a cryptic comment 'I'll be thinking of you on

> your birthday next week' and the rest of the letter was a diatribe

> against other family members, as usual . . . . I suppose

> her 'thinking of me' was my present this year . . . .

> Well, you have to have a sense of humor about these things I think!

> The upside is that I feel so amazingly happy now when my grown

> children give me nice presents! I appreciate it so much :)

>

>

> >

> > Wow - how entertaining this thread has been to read.

> > I am so glad to see that I am not the only one that suffers

> > the fate of odd gifts.

> >

> > So, on the lines of pet stuff. My nada just loves to send

> > stuff to her " grandkitties " . Yes....our cats! We don't have

> > kids and granted we do spoil our cats like they our our

> > children it is so weird to get care packages for them.

> > There really is a point where it just becomes odd and boy

> > does she hit that nail on the head!

> >

> > Even better is when her dog sends gifts to our cats.

> >

> > Seriously.

> >

> > I couldn't make this stuff up.

> >

> > I remember one Christmas I was excited because she

> > asked me to make an Amazon wish list. I thought finally....

> > maybe she was really listening and wanted to get me

> > something I would use and love. I had been in the process

> > of trying to build up a nice cookware collection. On Christmas

> > I opened my presents to find on pot that I had wanted only a much

> > different and cheaper style. The other was a roasting pan which

> > I had no use for.

> >

> > I got home that day and threw out the usual other garbage (toys,

> > games for kids) that she gives us every year and listed the 2 pans

> > on eBay. She called me later that night sobbing uncontrollably

> > because she found my eBay auction. OMG! It was terrible! You

> > would have thought someone died the way she was carrying on.

> >

> > That is the way my nada works. She will give a few toys, some new

> > some from Mcs to me and hubby. Then for me, she will give

> > me something that I want but it will be different in some critical

> way.

> > Enough so that it isn't what I really would ever use. Then of

> course,

> > I am so ungrateful for not appreciating that she got me exactly what

> > I asked for. Yeah. Right. Glad you think so lady.

> >

> > I tell ya, being NC this Christmas was a pleasure! It was so nice

> not

> > having to deal with all the drama of her and the holidays!

> >

> > Maeghan

> >

>

>

>

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