Re: Question for re: problem solving vs. appreciation in ACT

[Guest guest]

Best at first to stay away from advantages and disadvantages(looking for such a list is itself a marker for a problem solving mode)I'm not cheating (truly) in saying that because it is a legit question ... just for later

..........OK, so right now I feel somewhat unfairly treated by some one.I will use that (warning ... my voice is changing line by line.If what I'm writing does not make sense. change the voice and see if it does)

...........My head in problem solving mode:Why are they doing this?It's not fair. How can I explain?

Will this ever change.This won't ever change.I don't like it.What can I do?It makes me mad.We keep ending up hereWhy do we keep ending up here?

How could I not end up hereI've tried everythingMaybe not everythingWhat else could I try?Maybe I shouldn't try.Maybe I should try what did.

That won't work.This feels lousy.This is not fair.******My head in ACT problem solving mode:

Why are they doing this?It's not fair. That is just a thought.Yeah, but its a true thought.How can I explain?Will this ever change.This won't ever change.

I should accept it.I should defuse from it.That only works for a little whileI don't like it.What can I do?It makes me mad.I should accept it.

OK I accept it.That didn't change anythingACT is for something else, or someone else.We keep ending up hereWhy do we keep ending up here?Thank you mind for the thought.

I'm still thinking the thought.How could I not end up hereThat's a thought too.So what, I'm still here.I've tried everythingMaybe not everything

What else could I try?Maybe ACT.Maybe I shouldn't try.Maybe I should try what did.He tried ACT. It helped him.That won't work.

Not for me.This feels lousy.This is not fair.******My question to you: are these two mental conversationsfunctionally different?

My answer? Not really. Same agenda; same function.What is the agenda? Solve the " problem. " What is a problem?A problem is when what is present signifies " you are not there yet. "

think about it. A problem = you are here, not there. Not yet. Aaaagh. A problemIf I'm sick it is a problem because I'm not yet well;If I'm poor it is a problem because I'm not yet monied;

etc etcNothin wrong with problems. The problem isnon problems as problems.Boring, stupid, lifeless problems.Doing your taxes is a problem. Doing your life is not a problem.

Notice the mind pull back. The linear mind mind does onlyone thing well: problem solving. It HATES this conversation. " your life is not a problem " sounds daaaannnngeroussss.

ooooooooooooh. Crrraaazzzzyyyy.**Really? Look at it.What, is your life a problem? You " not there yet " with your life. Really?

Pretty amazing because you look alive to me; the clocksays you're alive; your heart is beating. SO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? " You not there yet. "  Yes you are. You are here/ alive.

So stop the friggin pretense that your life is a problem. It isbooorrrriiiinnnggg  bbuuuullll puuucckkkyyy.It is a lie; a trick; a con**********

OKMindful observation modeSlow it down. Watch with curiosity.Open up. Be here. Be you. Be with purpose.Risky to write this down but I will try.

Just remember it is not the words.It is what is happening between the words.It is the empty lines and spaces. Read those carefully.I'm not kidding

********Me doing ACT with feeling somewhat unfairly treated by some one......

Why are they doing this?It's not fair. ........That is a thought.I sometimes have it a lot.Slow this thing down.

*********I feel like a little kid. " It's not fair " .............Let me just make some room for feeling like a little kid.

**********My mind is trying to pul me into a fight:********* " Yeah, but its a true thought; How can I explain? Will this ever change.

This won't ever change. " Interesting. Look at that. Wow.They run on like a choo choo train.The feel almost urgent

**********I notice when I start to buy into all that I feel less like a little kid.Less " out of control. "

Wow maybe that is part of the juice ... the payoff.Maybe ... it is clearly a result. Maybe I'm playing for thatresult

*********Do I really need to be " in control " here?Maybe that feeling like a little kid thing is something I can have.It might even be important. There might be things to learn in there.

......Maybe I should just slow this down and watch more carefully.I'm noticing my body.I feel big ... not little. 

There is that little kid feeling too tho. There it is.....Scared. Scared of insanity.The adults are insane. I have to watch out for myself.

*******Yipes. That is ooollldddd.That is soooo oooollllldddd.No friggin wonder I feel like a kidActually what they were doing was not insane.

The miscommunication feels insane.But what am I trying to " communicate " Maybe it is me that is doing lousy communication*********

Don't do anything scary. Don't do anything insane.......Sheesh, not much to " communicate " in that.That's not their job its mine. They are my feelings

Maybe insane and scared are things I can have.*******They feel funny.Funny how they feel.

Funny I try so hard not to feel that.Funny.YoungScaredNutsBoy is that ooooollllllddddd

: )Sweet in a way. He was a good kid he was.I like my little kid..........Do I need to do anything about this?

...........Hmmm " about " this. 'Gee, look at that.Why " about " ?Why do I feel so far away.

" About " Shesh. " About this " Make a report, sir.Filie away the report, sir.Yes sir. Right away sir.

.....Can you say " avoidance " ?Sweet in a way. He was a good kid he was.I like my little kid. He did the best he could.

Yeah but I'm 64 in two months. Enough of that'********

What IS the " this. " What's inside " this " Better questions

Let's go there -- then there is no " about " needed;no story; no dialogue needed.i can do that. I'm big enough to do that

************Breath it in

Breath it in*********See if I can flow around this feeling like arms.

*********Breath in. Like a hug

My stomach was tight.Now it is not********Somehow this pull to do something just doesn't seem interesting right now.

I don't think I need to DO anything It's more important just to be here.

Scared is not that scary.Insane is not insane.It will be fine. I don't need to try to control anything about this.

Truly I do notOK, in that case, I wont!......

Gee, its 12:30. Time to go to bed.@@@@@@@@[by the way, I actually did all that. I'm not just writing it down.]

Not sure that was a good idea. Please don't quote me andsay I said " that is mindful observation. "  I did not say that. i said

It's not the words.It was what was in the empty likes and spaces between the words.********Back on point

ACT is not problem solving. And now we can answer that last part of your questionsAdvantages and disadvantages

AdvantagesIt helps us abandon useless, stinky, lifeless, lying problems and crease fantastic new ones ... like how to be a great dad;or a good husband ..... or how to write an email to people 

you care about that might makes a differenceFun problems like thatDisadvantagesWell Mr. Mind does not like it. Mr. Mind does not know how to read

empty lines and spaces. Never willNo problemo tho: You do! (But don't forget your mind does not)Peace, love, and life 

- S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062 " Love isn't everything, it's the only thing "

 

I was recently reading the forward Steve wrote for " ACT Made Simple " and I noticed a sentence I'd never paid much attention to before.

wrote:

" Clients have a hard time shifting from a problem-solving mode into a mindful appreciation mode. "

To be honest I think I've been approaching ACT in a problem-solving mode. So can someone give me some insight into how to approach ACT in the mindful appreciation mode and also what the advantages of doing so are.

Thanks in advance.

Rodney

[Guest guest]

Awesome, . Thank you so much for sharing your personal experience of ACT with us.HelenaTo: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Thursday, June 7, 2012 4:19:51 AMSubject: Re: Question for re: problem solving vs. appreciation in ACT

Best at first to stay away from advantages and disadvantages(looking for such a list is itself a marker for a problem solving mode)I'm not cheating (truly) in saying that because it is a legit question ... just for later

..........OK, so right now I feel somewhat unfairly treated by some one.I will use that (warning ... my voice is changing line by line.If what I'm writing does not make sense. change the voice and see if it does)

...........My head in problem solving mode:Why are they doing this?It's not fair. How can I explain?

Will this ever change.This won't ever change.I don't like it.What can I do?It makes me mad.We keep ending up hereWhy do we keep ending up here?

How could I not end up hereI've tried everythingMaybe not everythingWhat else could I try?Maybe I shouldn't try.Maybe I should try what did.

That won't work.This feels lousy.This is not fair.******My head in ACT problem solving mode:

Why are they doing this?It's not fair. That is just a thought.Yeah, but its a true thought.How can I explain?Will this ever change.This won't ever change.

I should accept it.I should defuse from it.That only works for a little whileI don't like it.What can I do?It makes me mad.I should accept it.

OK I accept it.That didn't change anythingACT is for something else, or someone else.We keep ending up hereWhy do we keep ending up here?Thank you mind for the thought.

I'm still thinking the thought.How could I not end up hereThat's a thought too.So what, I'm still here.I've tried everythingMaybe not everything

What else could I try?Maybe ACT.Maybe I shouldn't try.Maybe I should try what did.He tried ACT. It helped him.That won't work.

Not for me.This feels lousy.This is not fair.******My question to you: are these two mental conversationsfunctionally different?

My answer? Not really. Same agenda; same function.What is the agenda? Solve the "problem."What is a problem?A problem is when what is present signifies "you are not there yet."

think about it. A problem = you are here, not there. Not yet. Aaaagh. A problemIf I'm sick it is a problem because I'm not yet well;If I'm poor it is a problem because I'm not yet monied;

etc etcNothin wrong with problems. The problem isnon problems as problems.Boring, stupid, lifeless problems.Doing your taxes is a problem. Doing your life is not a problem.

Notice the mind pull back. The linear mind mind does onlyone thing well: problem solving. It HATES this conversation."your life is not a problem" sounds daaaannnngeroussss.

ooooooooooooh. Crrraaazzzzyyyy.**Really? Look at it.What, is your life a problem? You "not there yet" with your life. Really?

Pretty amazing because you look alive to me; the clocksays you're alive; your heart is beating. SO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"You not there yet." Yes you are. You are here/ alive.

So stop the friggin pretense that your life is a problem. It isbooorrrriiiinnnggg bbuuuullll puuucckkkyyy.It is a lie; a trick; a con**********

OKMindful observation modeSlow it down. Watch with curiosity.Open up. Be here. Be you. Be with purpose.Risky to write this down but I will try.

Just remember it is not the words.It is what is happening between the words.It is the empty lines and spaces. Read those carefully.I'm not kidding

********Me doing ACT with feeling somewhat unfairly treated by some one......

Why are they doing this?It's not fair. ........That is a thought.I sometimes have it a lot.Slow this thing down.

*********I feel like a little kid."It's not fair".............Let me just make some room for feeling like a little kid.

**********My mind is trying to pul me into a fight:*********"Yeah, but its a true thought; How can I explain? Will this ever change.

This won't ever change."Interesting. Look at that. Wow.They run on like a choo choo train.The feel almost urgent

**********I notice when I start to buy into all that I feel less like a little kid.Less "out of control."

Wow maybe that is part of the juice ... the payoff.Maybe ... it is clearly a result. Maybe I'm playing for thatresult

*********Do I really need to be "in control" here?Maybe that feeling like a little kid thing is something I can have.It might even be important. There might be things to learn in there.

......Maybe I should just slow this down and watch more carefully.I'm noticing my body.I feel big ... not little.

There is that little kid feeling too tho. There it is.....Scared. Scared of insanity.The adults are insane. I have to watch out for myself.

*******Yipes. That is ooollldddd.That is soooo oooollllldddd.No friggin wonder I feel like a kidActually what they were doing was not insane.

The miscommunication feels insane.But what am I trying to "communicate"Maybe it is me that is doing lousy communication*********

Don't do anything scary. Don't do anything insane.......Sheesh, not much to "communicate" in that.That's not their job its mine. They are my feelings

Maybe insane and scared are things I can have.*******They feel funny.Funny how they feel.

Funny I try so hard not to feel that.Funny.YoungScaredNutsBoy is that ooooollllllddddd

: )Sweet in a way. He was a good kid he was.I like my little kid..........Do I need to do anything about this?

...........Hmmm "about" this. 'Gee, look at that.Why "about"?Why do I feel so far away.

"About"Shesh."About this"Make a report, sir.Filie away the report, sir.Yes sir. Right away sir.

.....Can you say "avoidance"?Sweet in a way. He was a good kid he was.I like my little kid. He did the best he could.

Yeah but I'm 64 in two months. Enough of that'********

What IS the "this."What's inside "this"Better questions

Let's go there -- then there is no "about" needed;no story; no dialogue needed.i can do that. I'm big enough to do that

************Breath it in

Breath it in*********See if I can flow around this feeling like arms.

*********Breath in. Like a hug

My stomach was tight.Now it is not********Somehow this pull to do something just doesn't seem interesting right now.

I don't think I need to DO anything It's more important just to be here.

Scared is not that scary.Insane is not insane.It will be fine. I don't need to try to control anything about this.

Truly I do notOK, in that case, I wont!......

Gee, its 12:30. Time to go to bed.@@@@@@@@[by the way, I actually did all that. I'm not just writing it down.]

Not sure that was a good idea. Please don't quote me andsay I said "that is mindful observation." I did not say that. i said

It's not the words.It was what was in the empty likes and spaces between the words.********Back on point

ACT is not problem solving. And now we can answer that last part of your questionsAdvantages and disadvantages

AdvantagesIt helps us abandon useless, stinky, lifeless, lying problems and crease fantastic new ones ... like how to be a great dad;or a good husband ..... or how to write an email to people

you care about that might makes a differenceFun problems like thatDisadvantagesWell Mr. Mind does not like it. Mr. Mind does not know how to read

empty lines and spaces. Never willNo problemo tho: You do! (But don't forget your mind does not)Peace, love, and life

- S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062"Love isn't everything, it's the only thing"

I was recently reading the forward Steve wrote for "ACT Made Simple" and I noticed a sentence I'd never paid much attention to before.

wrote:

"Clients have a hard time shifting from a problem-solving mode into a mindful appreciation mode."

To be honest I think I've been approaching ACT in a problem-solving mode. So can someone give me some insight into how to approach ACT in the mindful appreciation mode and also what the advantages of doing so are.

Thanks in advance.

Rodney

[Guest guest]

That's so Zen, or maybe call it ACT Poetry. Wonderful stuff!> > "Clients have a hard time shifting from a problem-solving mode into a> > mindful appreciation mode."> >> > To be honest I think I've been approaching ACT in a problem-solving mode.> > So can someone give me some insight into how to approach ACT in the mindful> > appreciation mode and also what the advantages of doing so are.> >> > Thanks in advance.> >> > Rodney> >> > > >>

[Guest guest]

Great exercise, Steve!I did it myself, inserting my own current problem. My mind says: "I'm rejected by other people, and I also reject people - and I don't know which comes first - my rejection or theirs. And I don't know how to quit rejecting other people and I don't know how to make them not reject me". The "about" thing - yes it's avoidance. I need to do my interventions - like breathing in - very, very gently, otherwise I slip into avoidance or - "about mode". If I go into the problem - the question "how can I make people not reject me" - slips away and I get into the stuff. I think that is a better platform for connecting than a problem solving mode Thanks and have a great week end Steve and all!Henrik Best at first to stay away from advantages and disadvantages(looking for such a list is itself a marker for a problem solving mode)I'm not cheating (truly) in saying that because it is a legit question... just for later.........OK, so right now I feel somewhat unfairly treated by some one.I will use that (warning ... my voice is changing line by line.If what I'm writing does not make sense. change the voice and see if itdoes)..........My head in problem solving mode:Why are they doing this?It's not fair.How can I explain?Will this ever change.This won't ever change.I don't like it.What can I do?It makes me mad.We keep ending up hereWhy do we keep ending up here?How could I not end up hereI've tried everythingMaybe not everythingWhat else could I try?Maybe I shouldn't try.Maybe I should try what did.That won't work.This feels lousy.This is not fair.******My head in ACT problem solving mode:Why are they doing this?It's not fair.That is just a thought.Yeah, but its a true thought.How can I explain?Will this ever change.This won't ever change.I should accept it.I should defuse from it.That only works for a little whileI don't like it.What can I do?It makes me mad.I should accept it.OK I accept it.That didn't change anythingACT is for something else, or someone else.We keep ending up hereWhy do we keep ending up here?Thank you mind for the thought.I'm still thinking the thought.How could I not end up hereThat's a thought too.So what, I'm still here.I've tried everythingMaybe not everythingWhat else could I try?Maybe ACT.Maybe I shouldn't try.Maybe I should try what did.He tried ACT.It helped him.That won't work.Not for me.This feels lousy.This is not fair.******My question to you:are these two mental conversationsfunctionally different?My answer? Not really.Same agenda; same function.What is the agenda? Solve the "problem."What is a problem?A problem is when what is present signifies "you are not there yet."think about it. A problem = you are here, not there. Not yet.Aaaagh. A problemIf I'm sick it is a problem because I'm not yet well;If I'm poor it is a problem because I'm not yet monied;etc etcNothin wrong with problems. The problem isnon problems as problems.Boring, stupid, lifeless problems.Doing your taxes is a problem. Doing your life is not a problem.Notice the mind pull back. The linear mind mind does onlyone thing well: problem solving. It HATES this conversation."your life is not a problem" sounds daaaannnngeroussss.ooooooooooooh. Crrraaazzzzyyyy.**Really? Look at it.What, is your life a problem? You "not there yet" with your life.Really?Pretty amazing because you look alive to me; the clocksays you're alive; your heart is beating.SO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"You not there yet." Yes you are. You are here/ alive.So stop the friggin pretense that your life is a problem. It isbooorrrriiiinnnggg bbuuuullll puuucckkkyyy.It is a lie; a trick; a con**********OKMindful observation modeSlow it down. Watch with curiosity.Open up. Be here. Be you. Be with purpose.Risky to write this down but I will try.Just remember it is not the words.It is what is happening between the words.It is the empty lines and spaces. Read those carefully.I'm not kidding********Me doing ACT with feeling somewhat unfairly treated by some one......Why are they doing this?It's not fair.........That is a thought.I sometimes have it a lot.Slow this thing down.*********I feel like a little kid."It's not fair".............Let me just make some room for feeling like a little kid.**********My mind is trying to pul me into a fight:*********"Yeah, but its a true thought; How can I explain? Will this ever change.This won't ever change."Interesting. Look at that. Wow.They run on like a choo choo train.The feel almost urgent**********I notice when I start to buy into all that I feel less like a littlekid.Less "out of control."Wow maybe that is part of the juice ... the payoff.Maybe ...it is clearly a result. Maybe I'm playing for thatresult*********Do I really need to be "in control" here?Maybe that feeling like a little kid thing is something I can have.It might even be important. There might be things to learn in there......Maybe I should just slow this down and watch more carefully.I'm noticing my body.I feel big ... not little.There is that little kid feeling too tho. There it is.....Scared. Scared of insanity.The adults are insane.I have to watch out for myself.*******Yipes. That is ooollldddd.That is soooo oooollllldddd.No friggin wonder I feel like a kidActually what they were doing was not insane.The miscommunication feels insane.But what am I trying to "communicate"Maybe it is me that is doing lousy communication*********Don't do anything scary. Don't do anything insane.......Sheesh, not much to "communicate" in that.That's not their job its mine. They are my feelingsMaybe insane and scared are things I can have.*******They feel funny.Funny how they feel.Funny I try so hard not to feel that.Funny.YoungScaredNutsBoy is that ooooollllllddddd: )Sweet in a way. He was a good kid he was.I like my little kid..........Do I need to do anything about this?..........Hmmm "about" this. 'Gee, look at that.Why "about"?Why do I feel so far away."About"Shesh."About this"Make a report, sir.Filie away the report, sir.Yes sir. Right away sir.....Can you say "avoidance"?Sweet in a way. He was a good kid he was.I like my little kid.He did the best he could.Yeah but I'm 64 in two months.Enough of that'********What IS the "this."What's inside "this"Better questionsLet's go there -- then there is no "about" needed;no story; no dialogue needed.i can do that. I'm big enough to do that************Breath it inBreath it in*********See if I can flow around this feeling like arms.*********Breath in. Like a hugMy stomach was tight.Now it is not********Somehow this pull to do something just doesn't seem interesting rightnow.I don't think I need to DO anythingIt's more important just to be here.Scared is not that scary.Insane is not insane.It will be fine. I don't need to try to control anything about this.Truly I do notOK, in that case, I wont!......Gee, its 12:30. Time to go to bed.@@@@@@@@[by the way, I actually did all that. I'm not just writing it down.]Not sure that was a good idea. Please don't quote me andsay I said "that is mindful observation." I did not say that.i saidIt's not the words.It was what was in the empty likes and spaces between the words.********Back on pointACT is not problem solving.And now we can answer that last part of your questionsAdvantages and disadvantagesAdvantagesIt helps us abandon useless, stinky, lifeless, lyingproblems and crease fantastic new ones ... like how to be a great dad;or a good husband ..... or how to write an email to peopleyou care about that might makes a differenceFun problems like thatDisadvantagesWell Mr. Mind does not like it.Mr. Mind does not know how to readempty lines and spaces.Never willNo problemo tho: You do!(But don't forget your mind does not)Peace, love, and life- S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062"Love isn't everything, it's the only thing"On Wed, Jun 6, 2012 at 12:47 AM, RODNEY D > wrote:> > > I was recently reading the forward Steve wrote for "ACT Made> Simple" and I noticed a sentence I'd never paid much attention to> before.> > wrote:> "Clients have a hard time shifting from a problem-solving mode into a> mindful appreciation mode."> > To be honest I think I've been approaching ACT in a problem-solving> mode. So can someone give me some insight into how to approach ACT in> the mindful appreciation mode and also what the advantages of doing so> are.> > Thanks in advance.> > Rodney> > > >

[Guest guest]

Really appreciate your sharing this exercise.Phil

Great exercise, Steve!I did it myself, inserting my own current problem. My mind says: "I'm rejected by other people, and I also reject people - and I don't know which comes first - my rejection or theirs. And I don't know how to quit rejecting other people and I don't know how to make them not reject me". The "about" thing - yes it's avoidance. I need to do my interventions - like breathing in - very, very gently, otherwise I slip into avoidance or - "about mode". If I go into the problem - the question "how can I make people not reject me" - slips away and I get into the stuff. I think that is a better platform for connecting than a problem solving mode Thanks and have a great week end Steve and all!Henrik Best at first to stay away from advantages and disadvantages(looking for such a list is itself a marker for a problem solving mode)I'm not cheating (truly) in saying that because it is a legit question... just for later.........OK, so right now I feel somewhat unfairly treated by some one.I will use that (warning ... my voice is changing line by line.If what I'm writing does not make sense. change the voice and see if itdoes)..........My head in problem solving mode:Why are they doing this?It's not fair.How can I explain?Will this ever change.This won't ever change.I don't like it.What can I do?It makes me mad.We keep ending up hereWhy do we keep ending up here?H

ow could I not end up hereI've tried everythingMaybe not everythingWhat else could I try?Maybe I shouldn't try.Maybe I should try what did.That won't work.This feels lousy.This is not fair.******My head in ACT problem solving mode:Why are they doing this?It's not fair.That is just a thought.Yeah, but its a true thought.How can I explain?Will this ever change.This won't ever change.I should accept it.I should defuse from it.That only works for a little whileI don't like it.What can I do?It makes me mad.I should accept it.OK I accept it.That didn't change anythingACT is for something else, or someone else.We keep ending up hereWhy do we keep ending up here?Thank you mind for the thought.I'm still thinking the thought.How could I not end up hereThat's a thought too.So what, I'm still here.I've tried everythingMaybe not everythingWhat else could I try?Maybe ACT.Maybe I shouldn't try.Maybe I should try what did.He tried ACT.It helped him.That won't work.Not for me.This feels lousy.This is not fair.******My question to you:are these two mental conversationsfunctionally different?My answer? Not really.Same agenda; same function.What is the agenda? Solve the "problem."What is a problem?A problem is when what is present signifies "you are not there yet."think about it. A problem = you are here, not there. Not yet.Aaaagh. A problemIf I'm sick it is a problem b

ecause I'm not yet well;If I'm poor it is a problem because I'm not yet monied;etc etcNothin wrong with problems. The problem isnon problems as problems.Boring, stupid, lifeless problems.Doing your taxes is a problem. Doing your life is not a problem.Notice the mind pull back. The linear mind mind does onlyone thing well: problem solving. It HATES this conversation."your life is not a problem" sounds daaaannnngeroussss.ooooooooooooh. Crrraaazzzzyyyy.**Really? Look at it.What, is your life a problem? You "not there yet" with your life.Really?Pretty amazing because you look alive to me; the clocksays you're alive; your heart is beating.SO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"You not there yet." Yes you are. You are here/ alive.So stop the friggin pretens

e that your life is a problem. It isbooorrrriiiinnnggg bbuuuullll puuucckkkyyy.It is a lie; a trick; a con**********OKMindful observation modeSlow it down. Watch with curiosity.Open up. Be here. Be you. Be with purpose.Risky to write this down but I will try.Just remember it is not the words.It is what is happening between the words.It is the empty lines and spaces. Read those carefully.I'm not kidding********Me doing ACT with feeling somewhat unfairly treated by some one......Why are they doing this?It's not fair.........That is a thought.I sometimes have it a lot.Slow this thing down.*********I feel like a little kid."It's not fair".............Let me just make some room for feeling like a little kid.**********My mind is trying to pul me into a fight:*********"Yeah, but its a true thought; How can I explain? Will this ever change.This won't ever change."Interesting. Look at that. Wow.They run on like a choo choo train.The feel almost urgent**********I notice when I start to buy into all that I feel less like a littlekid.Less "out of control."Wow maybe that is part of the juice ... the payoff.Maybe ...it is clearly a result. Maybe I'm playing for thatresult*********Do I really need to be "in control" here?Maybe that feeling like a little kid thing is something I can have.It might even be important. There might be things to learn in there......Maybe I should just slow this down and watch more carefully.I'm noticing my body.I feel big ... not little.There is that little kid feeling too tho. There it is.....Scared. Scared of insanity.The adults are insane.I have to watch out for myself.*******Yipes. That is ooollldddd.That is soooo oooollllldddd.No friggin wonder I feel like a kidActually what they were doing was not insane.The miscommunication feels insane.But what a

m I trying to "communicate"Maybe it is me that is doing lousy communication*********Don't do anything scary. Don't do anything insane.......Sheesh, not much to "communicate" in that.That's not their job its mine. They are my feelingsMaybe insane and scared are things I can have.*******They feel funny.Funny how they feel.Funny I try so hard not to feel that.Funny.YoungScaredNutsBoy is that ooooollllllddddd: )Sweet in a way. He was a good kid he was.I like my little kid..........Do I need to do anything about this?..........<

br>Hmmm "about" this. 'Gee, look at that.Why "about"?Why do I feel so far away."About"Shesh."About this"Make a report, sir.Filie away the report, sir.Yes sir. Right away sir.....Can you say "avoidance"?Sweet in a way. He was a good kid he was.I like my little kid.He did the best he could.Yeah but I'm 64 in two months.Enough of that'********What IS the "this."What's inside "this"Better questionsLet's go there -- then there is no "about" needed;no story; no dialogue needed.<

br>i can do that. I'm big enough to do that************Breath it inBreath it in*********See if I can flow around this feeling like arms.*********Breath in. Like a hugMy stomach was tight.Now it is not********Somehow this pull to do something just doesn't seem interesting rightnow.I don't think I need to DO anythingIt's more imp

ortant just to be here.Scared is not that scary.Insane is not insane.It will be fine. I don't need to try to control anything about this.Truly I do notOK, in that case, I wont!......Gee, its 12:30. Time to go to bed.@@@@@@@@[by the way, I actually did all that. I'm not just writing it down.]Not sure that was a good idea. Please don't quote me andsay I said "that is mindful observation." I did not say that.i saidIt's not the words.It was what was in the empty likes and spaces between the w

ords.********Back on pointACT is not problem solving.And now we can answer that last part of your questionsAdvantages and disadvantagesAdvantagesIt helps us abandon useless, stinky, lifeless, lyingproblems and crease fantastic new ones ... like how to be a great dad;or a good husband ..... or how to write an email to peopleyou care about that might makes a differenceFun problems like thatDisadvantagesWell Mr. Mind does not like it.Mr. Mind does not know how to readempty lines and spaces.Never willNo problemo tho: You do!(But don't forget your mind does not)Peace, love, and life- S<

br> C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062"Love isn't everything, it's the only thing"On Wed, Jun 6, 2012 at 12:47 AM, RODNEY D > wrote:> > > I was recently reading the forward Steve wrote for "ACT Made> Simple" and I noticed a sentence I'd never paid much attention to> before.> > wrote:> "Clients have a hard time shifting from a problem-solving mode into a> mindful appreciation mode."> > To be honest I think I've been approaching ACT in a problem-solving> mode. So can someone give me some insight into how to approach ACT in> the mindful appreciation mode and also what the advantages of doing so> are.> > Thanks in advance.> > Rodney> > > >

[Guest guest]

Brilliant post, Steve. I’ve filed it away for re-reading!I just wanted to add that there is a time and place for constructive problem-solving in the ACT model: when people face important challenges that can effectively be solved through constructive problem-solving techniques. For example, if someone wanted to change career to something more meaningful, we would make time in ACT to consider what are the necessary steps required, and develop an action plan. However, in ACT we’d encourage you to infuse your problem-solving with values: as I face this issue or obstacle and challenge, what values do I want to live by? What matters enough to me that I would be willing to take the necessary actions to solve the problem?We’d also encourage you that when you do engage in constructive problem-solving, you give it your full attention – rather than doing it in your head while you’re driving the car or playing with the kids or eating dinner.Indeed, if a client lacks effective problem-solving skills, we’d make time to teach them in ACT - as without them, that person will struggle. (For example, many people who are chronically suicidal either lack, or fail to apply, effective problem-solving skills to the challenges in their life.)And we’d help them distinguish truly effective problem-solving – which is quick, simple, effective and time-efficient - from all its ineffective time-wasting, vitality-draining cousins, such as worrying, rumination, magical thinking and ‘analysis paralysis’. All the best,Cheers, Russ www.actmindfully.com.auwww.thehappinesstrap.com From: ACT_for_the_Public [mailto:ACT_for_the_Public ] On Behalf Of onSent: Saturday, 9 June 2012 6:42 PMTo: ACT_for_the_Public Subject: Re: Question for re: problem solving vs. appreciation in ACT Really appreciate your sharing this exercise. Phil Great exercise, Steve!I did it myself, inserting my own current problem. My mind says: " I'm rejected by other people, and I also reject people - and I don't know which comes first - my rejection or theirs. And I don't know how to quit rejecting other people and I don't know how to make them not reject me " . The " about " thing - yes it's avoidance. I need to do my interventions - like breathing in - very, very gently, otherwise I slip into avoidance or - " about mode " . If I go into the problem - the question " how can I make people not reject me " - slips away and I get into the stuff. I think that is a better platform for connecting than a problem solving mode Thanks and have a great week end Steve and all! HenrikBest at first to stay away from advantages and disadvantages(looking for such a list is itself a marker for a problem solving mode)I'm not cheating (truly) in saying that because it is a legit question... just for later.........OK, so right now I feel somewhat unfairly treated by some one.I will use that (warning ... my voice is changing line by line.If what I'm writing does not make sense. change the voice and see if itdoes)..........My head in problem solving mode:Why are they doing this?It's not fair.How can I explain?Will this ever change.This won't ever change.I don't like it.What can I do?It makes me mad.We keep ending up hereWhy do we keep ending up here?H ow could I not end up hereI've tried everythingMaybe not everythingWhat else could I try?Maybe I shouldn't try.Maybe I should try what did.That won't work.This feels lousy.This is not fair.******My head in ACT problem solving mode:Why are they doing this?It's not fair.That is just a thought.Yeah, but its a true thought.How can I explain?Will this ever change.This won't ever change.I should accept it.I should defuse from it.That only works for a little whileI don't like it.What can I do?It makes me mad.I should accept it.OK I accept it.That didn't change anythingACT is for something else, or someone else.We keep ending up hereWhy do we keep ending up here?Thank you mind for the thought.I'm still thinking the thought.How could I not end up hereThat's a thought too.So what, I'm still here.I've tried everythingMaybe not everythingWhat else could I try?Maybe ACT.Maybe I shouldn't try.Maybe I should try what did.He tried ACT.It helped him.That won't work.Not for me.This feels lousy.This is not fair.******My question to you:are these two mental conversationsfunctionally different?My answer? Not really.Same agenda; same function.What is the agenda? Solve the " problem. " What is a problem?A problem is when what is present signifies " you are not there yet. " think about it. A problem = you are here, not there. Not yet.Aaaagh. A problemIf I'm sick it is a problem b ecause I'm not yet well;If I'm poor it is a problem because I'm not yet monied;etc etcNothin wrong with problems. The problem isnon problems as problems.Boring, stupid, lifeless problems.Doing your taxes is a problem. Doing your life is not a problem.Notice the mind pull back. The linear mind mind does onlyone thing well: problem solving. It HATES this conversation. " your life is not a problem " sounds daaaannnngeroussss.ooooooooooooh. Crrraaazzzzyyyy.**Really? Look at it.What, is your life a problem? You " not there yet " with your life.Really?Pretty amazing because you look alive to me; the clocksays you're alive; your heart is beating.SO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? " You not there yet. " Yes you are. You are here/ alive.So stop the friggin pretens e that your life is a problem. It isbooorrrriiiinnnggg bbuuuullll puuucckkkyyy.It is a lie; a trick; a con**********OKMindful observation modeSlow it down. Watch with curiosity.Open up. Be here. Be you. Be with purpose.Risky to write this down but I will try.Just remember it is not the words.It is what is happening between the words.It is the empty lines and spaces. Read those carefully.I'm not kidding********Me doing ACT with feeling somewhat unfairly treated by some one......Why are they doing this?It's not fair.........That is a thought.I sometimes have it a lot.Slow this thing down.*********I feel like a little kid. " It's not fair " .............Let me just make some room for feeling like a little kid.**********My mind is trying to pul me into a fight:********* " Yeah, but its a true thought; How can I explain? Will this ever change.This won't ever change. " Interesting. Look at that. Wow.They run on like a choo choo train.The feel almost urgent**********I notice when I start to buy into all that I feel less like a littlekid.Less " out of control. " Wow maybe that is part of the juice ... the payoff.Maybe ...it is clearly a result. Maybe I'm playing for thatresult*********Do I really need to be " in control " here?Maybe that feeling like a little kid thing is something I can have.It might even be important. There might be things to learn in there......Maybe I should just slow this down and watch more carefully.I'm noticing my body.I feel big ... not little.There is that little kid feeling too tho. There it is.....Scared. Scared of insanity.The adults are insane.I have to watch out for myself.*******Yipes. That is ooollldddd.That is soooo oooollllldddd.No friggin wonder I feel like a kidActually what they were doing was not insane.The miscommunication feels insane.But what a m I trying to " communicate " Maybe it is me that is doing lousy communication*********Don't do anything scary. Don't do anything insane.......Sheesh, not much to " communicate " in that.That's not their job its mine. They are my feelingsMaybe insane and scared are things I can have.*******They feel funny.Funny how they feel.Funny I try so hard not to feel that.Funny.YoungScaredNutsBoy is that ooooollllllddddd: )Sweet in a way. He was a good kid he was.I like my little kid..........Do I need to do anything about this?..........< br>Hmmm " about " this. 'Gee, look at that.Why " about " ?Why do I feel so far away. " About " Shesh. " About this " Make a report, sir.Filie away the report, sir.Yes sir. Right away sir.....Can you say " avoidance " ?Sweet in a way. He was a good kid he was.I like my little kid.He did the best he could.Yeah but I'm 64 in two months.Enough of that'********What IS the " this. " What's inside " this " Better questionsLet's go there -- then there is no " about " needed;no story; no dialogue needed.< br>i can do that. I'm big enough to do that************Breath it inBreath it in*********See if I can flow around this feeling like arms.*********Breath in. Like a hugMy stomach was tight.Now it is not********Somehow this pull to do something just doesn't seem interesting rightnow.I don't think I need to DO anythingIt's more imp ortant just to be here.Scared is not that scary.Insane is not insane.It will be fine. I don't need to try to control anything about this.Truly I do notOK, in that case, I wont!......Gee, its 12:30. Time to go to bed.@@@@@@@@[by the way, I actually did all that. I'm not just writing it down.]Not sure that was a good idea. Please don't quote me andsay I said " that is mindful observation. " I did not say that.i saidIt's not the words.It was what was in the empty likes and spaces between the w ords.********Back on pointACT is not problem solving.And now we can answer that last part of your questionsAdvantages and disadvantagesAdvantagesIt helps us abandon useless, stinky, lifeless, lyingproblems and crease fantastic new ones ... like how to be a great dad;or a good husband ..... or how to write an email to peopleyou care about that might makes a differenceFun problems like thatDisadvantagesWell Mr. Mind does not like it.Mr. Mind does not know how to readempty lines and spaces.Never willNo problemo tho: You do!(But don't forget your mind does not)Peace, love, and life- S< br> C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062 " Love isn't everything, it's the only thing " On Wed, Jun 6, 2012 at 12:47 AM, RODNEY D > wrote:> > > I was recently reading the forward Steve wrote for " ACT Made> Simple " and I noticed a sentence I'd never paid much attention to> before.> > wrote:> " Clients have a hard time shifting from a problem-solving mode into a> mindful appreciation mode. " > > To be honest I think I've been approaching ACT in a problem-solving> mode. So can someone give me some insight into how to approach ACT in> the mindful appreciation mode and also what the advantages of doing so> are.> > Thanks in advance.> > Rodney> > > >

[Guest guest]

I started to copy and save this beautiful comprehensive meditation of ACT in process before having read it fully. My problem-inventing mind wanted to clean it up some right away. I noticed all the lines and spaces and started thinking: Why did he put so many empty lines in there? How can I explain this? What can I do? What should I try to make this better? I can get this on less pages for a more efficient read. Then it will look better, flow better and if I print out, there will be less paper and pages to deal with. So I started deleting the lines and spaces. No joke. As I was deleting, I began reading and caught this:

Just remember it is not the words.

It is what is happening between the words.

It is the empty lines and spaces. Read those carefully.Ha!Hit edit un-do. Wow, it flows perfectly. Thanks so much,Terry To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Thursday, June 7, 2012 1:19 AM Subject: Re: Question for re: problem solving vs. appreciation in ACT

Best at first to stay away from advantages and disadvantages(looking for such a list is itself a marker for a problem solving mode)I'm not cheating (truly) in saying that because it is a legit question ... just for later

..........OK, so right now I feel somewhat unfairly treated by some one.I will use that (warning ... my voice is changing line by line.If what I'm writing does not make sense. change the voice and see if it does)

...........My head in problem solving mode:Why are they doing this?It's not fair. How can I explain?

Will this ever change.This won't ever change.I don't like it.What can I do?It makes me mad.We keep ending up hereWhy do we keep ending up here?

How could I not end up hereI've tried everythingMaybe not everythingWhat else could I try?Maybe I shouldn't try.Maybe I should try what did.

That won't work.This feels lousy.This is not fair.******My head in ACT problem solving mode:

Why are they doing this?It's not fair. That is just a thought.Yeah, but its a true thought.How can I explain?Will this ever change.This won't ever change.

I should accept it.I should defuse from it.That only works for a little whileI don't like it.What can I do?It makes me mad.I should accept it.

OK I accept it.That didn't change anythingACT is for something else, or someone else.We keep ending up hereWhy do we keep ending up here?Thank you mind for the thought.

I'm still thinking the thought.How could I not end up hereThat's a thought too.So what, I'm still here.I've tried everythingMaybe not everything

What else could I try?Maybe ACT.Maybe I shouldn't try.Maybe I should try what did.He tried ACT. It helped him.That won't work.

Not for me.This feels lousy.This is not fair.******My question to you: are these two mental conversationsfunctionally different?

My answer? Not really. Same agenda; same function.What is the agenda? Solve the "problem."What is a problem?A problem is when what is present signifies "you are not there yet."

think about it. A problem = you are here, not there. Not yet. Aaaagh. A problemIf I'm sick it is a problem because I'm not yet well;If I'm poor it is a problem because I'm not yet monied;

etc etcNothin wrong with problems. The problem isnon problems as problems.Boring, stupid, lifeless problems.Doing your taxes is a problem. Doing your life is not a problem.

Notice the mind pull back. The linear mind mind does onlyone thing well: problem solving. It HATES this conversation."your life is not a problem" sounds daaaannnngeroussss.

ooooooooooooh. Crrraaazzzzyyyy.**Really? Look at it.What, is your life a problem? You "not there yet" with your life. Really?

Pretty amazing because you look alive to me; the clocksays you're alive; your heart is beating. SO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"You not there yet." Yes you are. You are here/ alive.

So stop the friggin pretense that your life is a problem. It isbooorrrriiiinnnggg bbuuuullll puuucckkkyyy.It is a lie; a trick; a con**********

OKMindful observation modeSlow it down. Watch with curiosity.Open up. Be here. Be you. Be with purpose.Risky to write this down but I will try.

Just remember it is not the words.It is what is happening between the words.It is the empty lines and spaces. Read those carefully.I'm not kidding

********Me doing ACT with feeling somewhat unfairly treated by some one......

Why are they doing this?It's not fair. ........That is a thought.I sometimes have it a lot.Slow this thing down.

*********I feel like a little kid."It's not fair".............Let me just make some room for feeling like a little kid.

**********My mind is trying to pul me into a fight:*********"Yeah, but its a true thought; How can I explain? Will this ever change.

This won't ever change."Interesting. Look at that. Wow.They run on like a choo choo train.The feel almost urgent

**********I notice when I start to buy into all that I feel less like a little kid.Less "out of control."

Wow maybe that is part of the juice ... the payoff.Maybe ... it is clearly a result. Maybe I'm playing for thatresult

*********Do I really need to be "in control" here?Maybe that feeling like a little kid thing is something I can have.It might even be important. There might be things to learn in there.

......Maybe I should just slow this down and watch more carefully.I'm noticing my body.I feel big ... not little.

There is that little kid feeling too tho. There it is.....Scared. Scared of insanity.The adults are insane. I have to watch out for myself.

*******Yipes. That is ooollldddd.That is soooo oooollllldddd.No friggin wonder I feel like a kidActually what they were doing was not insane.

The miscommunication feels insane.But what am I trying to "communicate"Maybe it is me that is doing lousy communication*********

Don't do anything scary. Don't do anything insane.......Sheesh, not much to "communicate" in that.That's not their job its mine. They are my feelings

Maybe insane and scared are things I can have.*******They feel funny.Funny how they feel.

Funny I try so hard not to feel that.Funny.YoungScaredNutsBoy is that ooooollllllddddd

: )Sweet in a way. He was a good kid he was.I like my little kid..........Do I need to do anything about this?

...........Hmmm "about" this. 'Gee, look at that.Why "about"?Why do I feel so far away.

"About"Shesh."About this"Make a report, sir.Filie away the report, sir.Yes sir. Right away sir.

.....Can you say "avoidance"?Sweet in a way. He was a good kid he was.I like my little kid. He did the best he could.

Yeah but I'm 64 in two months. Enough of that'********

What IS the "this."What's inside "this"Better questions

Let's go there -- then there is no "about" needed;no story; no dialogue needed.i can do that. I'm big enough to do that

************Breath it in

Breath it in*********See if I can flow around this feeling like arms.

*********Breath in. Like a hug

My stomach was tight.Now it is not********Somehow this pull to do something just doesn't seem interesting right now.

I don't think I need to DO anything It's more important just to be here.

Scared is not that scary.Insane is not insane.It will be fine. I don't need to try to control anything about this.

Truly I do notOK, in that case, I wont!......

Gee, its 12:30. Time to go to bed.@@@@@@@@[by the way, I actually did all that. I'm not just writing it down.]

Not sure that was a good idea. Please don't quote me andsay I said "that is mindful observation." I did not say that. i said

It's not the words.It was what was in the empty likes and spaces between the words.********Back on point

ACT is not problem solving. And now we can answer that last part of your questionsAdvantages and disadvantages

AdvantagesIt helps us abandon useless, stinky, lifeless, lying problems and crease fantastic new ones ... like how to be a great dad;or a good husband ..... or how to write an email to people

you care about that might makes a differenceFun problems like thatDisadvantagesWell Mr. Mind does not like it. Mr. Mind does not know how to read

empty lines and spaces. Never willNo problemo tho: You do! (But don't forget your mind does not)Peace, love, and life

- S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062"Love isn't everything, it's the only thing"

I was recently reading the forward Steve wrote for "ACT Made Simple" and I noticed a sentence I'd never paid much attention to before.

wrote:

"Clients have a hard time shifting from a problem-solving mode into a mindful appreciation mode."

To be honest I think I've been approaching ACT in a problem-solving mode. So can someone give me some insight into how to approach ACT in the mindful appreciation mode and also what the advantages of doing so are.

Thanks in advance.

Rodney

[Guest guest]

>>>>how free my language is, it is clear I've been drinking...not an

excuse....more like a dutch courage potion...) Really I just wish I would be

more like you...like others ....I really don't know mate...I'm just alive,

living this moment.....

>

>

>

hi lou

I predict that re-reading steve's post when you are sober will be an incredible

experience for you, as it was for many of us, those who responded and those that

didn't.

now that you are drinking again, does that mean your daughter is moving out

again for the sake of her own sanity?

wanda

[Guest guest]

"now that you are drinking again, does that mean your daughter is moving out again for the sake of her own sanity?"

Sorry, Wanda, but I think this is an unkind, loaded question. You have absolutely no idea what the dynamics are between and her daughter and it doesn't seem appropriate to imply this kind of outcome for them. I admit to having some sadness about this episode of drunk posting, too, but can only hope that will ultimately find her path without relying on substances, if she so chooses.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Monday, June 11, 2012 9:24:33 AMSubject: Re: Question for re: problem solving vs. appreciation in ACT

>>>>how free my language is, it is clear I've been drinking...not an excuse....more like a dutch courage potion...) Really I just wish I would be more like you...like others ....I really don't know mate...I'm just alive, living this moment.....> > >hi louI predict that re-reading steve's post when you are sober will be an incredible experience for you, as it was for many of us, those who responded and those that didn't.wanda

[Guest guest]

Dear LouThis is amazing! I am talking about energy.When wrote that she is energy, I identified. Now, I feel the intensity of it. If I have to trace it, I would point at Freud's ID.Others may feel averse, but I am smiling reading this because I can really relate to the irony. My anger and my relationship with it had been very intense, my earliest display of rage was when I wanted to punch my mom at 6 yo. Anger shall be my best friend if the application of ACT technique succeed.The excitement ACT gave me is it's principals are very similar to some eastern teachings and the 12-step program.In every 12-step meeting, the "keep coming back" mantra is hummed repeatedly. employed commitment as a technique for his therapy. Mantra was originated in India to cultivate mindfulness. When I found out that science validates what I had learnt from eastern religions and 12-step program, I experience joy from harmony.I think ACT is a good mediator if starts being punitive towards you.TCkeep coming back>> OK DR Steve,> > Gosh you made me feel bad...no...your words made me feel bad...hang on...the way I see your words makes me feel bad......> > I fucken love the way you put your science out there but sometimes you can be such a prick...what the hell man...you tell me/us that,> > "....Really? Look at it. What, is your life a problem? You "not there yet" with your life. Really? Pretty amazing because you look alive to me; the clock says you're alive; your heart is beating. Really? Look at it. What, is your life a problem? You "not there yet" with your life. Really?Pretty amazing because you look alive to me; the clock says you're alive; your heart is beating.SO WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? You not there yet. Yes you are. You are here/ alive. So stop the friggin pretense that your life is a problem. It is booorrrriiiinnnggg bbuuuullll puuucckkkyyy. It is a lie; a trick; a con WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? "You not there yet." Yes you are. You are here/ alive. So stop the friggin pretense that your life is a problem. It is booorrrriiiinnnggg bbuuuullll puuucckkkyyy. It is a lie; a trick; a con"> > ....I know there is more to it, don't be a dickhead, taking this layman criticism....(I'm sure you wont, sorry if you don't)...> > I can't disagree with the last statement but WHAT THE HELL MAN, you are saying that all this is what?....fucken nothing.....boring....not worth a look in....> > WHAT THE FUCK MAN...are we nothing.....worthy of nothing?> > Do we do that? NO! Did we try to communicate?...to get along?...well fuck you man...I have tried and tried but no-one taught me the right way until `you' and my `therapist' but you still want to slam people like me? I want/desire to say sorry for `who' I am because it doesn't match you...I ask...Why ?> > I know your work has helped me but what the?...man? Maybe I'm just stupid...reading you here, like this, makes me feel this way....> > Lou> > > > (I'm quite sure by reading how free my language is, it is clear I've been drinking...not an excuse....more like a dutch courage potion...) Really I just wish I would be more like you...like others ....I really don't know mate...I'm just alive, living this moment.....

[Guest guest]

Hail Helena, for compassionate intervention..>> > > "now that you are drinking again, does that mean your daughter is moving out again for the sake of her own sanity?" > > > > Sorry, Wanda, but I think this is an unkind, loaded question . You have absolutely no idea what the dynamics are between and her daughter and it doesn't seem appropriate to imply this kind of outcome for them . I admit to having some sadness about this episode of drunk posting , too, but can only hope that will ultimately find her path without relying on substances, if she so chooses. > > > > Helena

[Guest guest]

Ok, I did not understand a single word of this. So, problem solving is bad? We

should just observe? Disengage from problem solving? Not try and do anything? I

know I must be confused, cause it sounded like you're saying don't try and

problem solve, just mindfully observe. Which is great, but if they're mutually

exclusive how/when do you ever actually solve any problems?

Can you explain what you did in actual sentences and not just

stream-of-consciousness gibberish please.

> > " Clients have a hard time shifting from a problem-solving mode into a

> > mindful appreciation mode. "

> >

> > To be honest I think I've been approaching ACT in a problem-solving mode.

> > So can someone give me some insight into how to approach ACT in the mindful

> > appreciation mode and also what the advantages of doing so are.

> >

> > Thanks in advance.

> >

> > Rodney

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Russ posted a good response on this.Problem solving is great for what it is good for.It is not good for everything. It is especially not good when itestablishes your life as a problem to be solved.

And your mind can easily do just that.You want to be able to use the mode of mind that works best in agiven situation

The question I was asked that lead to that answeris what does a problem solving mode of

mind look like as compared to a mindful observation mode of mind.Trying to answer that question does not mean I think that problem solving

has no role. It has a very important role ... but that was not the question I was addressing

Answering such a question entirely logically is darn hard to do.

It would be like trying to answer the question " how do I do somethingspontaneously? " (I'm not saying that is the same question ... just the same

kind of difficulty).Thus the gibberish.

Someone else said poetry ... not sure it deserves that high minded label butI was just trying to give voice to an experience.It was stream of consciousness as you said.

Sorry if it does not make sense. For you, the question was not answered.We will try to find another way.Have you read " Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life " ?

Lots of sentences in there. Part of that book isdancing around this question as well- S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298

University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062 " Love isn't everything, it's the only thing " hayes@... or stevenchayes@...

Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mind

Huffington Post  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page: 

http://contextualpsychology.org/steve_hayesor you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.com

If you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost is up to your own values.

If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions, join the ACT list: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/join

or the RFT list:http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., " Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life " etc) and want to be part of that conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join

 

Ok, I did not understand a single word of this. So, problem solving is bad? We should just observe? Disengage from problem solving? Not try and do anything? I know I must be confused, cause it sounded like you're saying don't try and problem solve, just mindfully observe. Which is great, but if they're mutually exclusive how/when do you ever actually solve any problems?

Can you explain what you did in actual sentences and not just stream-of-consciousness gibberish please.

> > " Clients have a hard time shifting from a problem-solving mode into a

> > mindful appreciation mode. "

> >

> > To be honest I think I've been approaching ACT in a problem-solving mode.

> > So can someone give me some insight into how to approach ACT in the mindful

> > appreciation mode and also what the advantages of doing so are.

> >

> > Thanks in advance.

> >

> > Rodney

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

For me: I tend to think that problem solving is great but that it doesn't work when I'm is upset and confused. The solutions I arrive at when my head is spinning are mostly confusing conclusions like:

"My apartment is horrible, I must get a new one, right now!"

Mostly, when under high levels of stress, I'm not in a position to think straight.

Countless times I've reached decisions in a state of fear and confusion, and they have proved unfortunate in the long run. Eventhough they felt good at the time, because they took me out of the state of confusion momentarily. "Ah, now I have a PLAN!" When the dust settled, I was then stuck with that plan - that unfortunately led me to other problems. All because I couldn't accept the confusion and be still where I was until I really knew what to do that would make sense.

In conclusion: When I'm confused, I've found it much better to accept the confusion and other thoughts and feelings till they pass. Then I can get back to looking for a solution.

That solution will be better than the one I tried to arrive at when I was confused.

I interpreted Steve's exercise as a way of getting through that sense of confusion, so that one can later get to the values and commited action that are around the corner.

Hope this helps,

Henrik

Russ posted a good response on this. Problem solving is great for what it is good for.

It is not good for everything.

It is especially not good when it

establishes your life as a problem to be solved.

And your mind can easily do just that.

You want to be able to use the mode of mind that works best in a

given situation

The question I was asked that lead to that answer

is what does a problem solving mode of

mind look like as compared to a mindful observation mode of mind.

Trying to answer that question does not mean I think that problem solving

has no role. It has a very important role ...

but that was not the question I was addressing

Answering such a question entirely logically is darn hard to do.

It would be like trying to answer the question "how do I do something

spontaneously?" (I'm not saying that is the same question ... just the same

kind of difficulty).

Thus the gibberish.

Someone else said poetry ... not sure it deserves that high minded label but

I was just trying to give voice to an experience.

It was stream of consciousness as you said.

Sorry if it does not make sense.

For you, the question was not answered.

We will try to find another way.

Have you read "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life"?

Lots of sentences in there. Part of that book is

dancing around this question as well

- S

C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062"Love isn't everything, it's the only thing"hayes@... or stevenchayes@...Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mindHuffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page: http://contextualpsychology.org/steve_hayesor you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.comIf you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost is up to your own values. If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions, join the ACT list: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/joinor the RFT list:http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" etc) and want to be part of that conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join

Ok, I did not understand a single word of this. So, problem solving is bad? We should just observe? Disengage from problem solving? Not try and do anything? I know I must be confused, cause it sounded like you're saying don't try and problem solve, just mindfully observe. Which is great, but if they're mutually exclusive how/when do you ever actually solve any problems? Can you explain what you did in actual sentences and not just stream-of-consciousness gibberish please.

> > "Clients have a hard time shifting from a problem-solving mode into a> > mindful appreciation mode."> >> > To be honest I think I've been approaching ACT in a problem-solving mode.> > So can someone give me some insight into how to approach ACT in the mindful> > appreciation mode and also what the advantages of doing so are.> >> > Thanks in advance.> >> > Rodney> >> > > >>

[Guest guest]

This my first post to the group though I've been reading it for a while. I recommend Get Out of Your Mind And Into Your Life, and doing the exercises suggested. Today, I had two rather startling insights, stuff I thought I knew but now know differently, thanks to the exercises. One was uncovering (and/or actually experiencing) the belief that I really can't handle the horrible feelings and the other that the mere fact of their presence was proof my mind was right - I'm defective, unlovable, ugly, etc. etc. Who knew? It was a relief to get these flashes of insight. In both cases, if you had asked me before, I would have told you of course I know about these beliefs and, therefore, I must not really have them. But I did! It seems I experienced them in a different way so I know them now differently. This sounds circular or unclear at best but I wanted to share them because they were quite meaningful to me and the workbook was very helpful for seeing them.Kathy

Russ posted a good response on this.Problem solving is great for what it is good for.It is not good for everything. It is especially not good when itestablishes your life as a problem to be solved.

And your mind can easily do just that.You want to be able to use the mode of mind that works best in agiven situation

The question I was asked that lead to that answeris what does a problem solving mode of

mind look like as compared to a mindful observation mode of mind.Trying to answer that question does not mean I think that problem solving

has no role. It has a very important role ... but that was not the question I was addressing

Answering such a question entirely logically is darn hard to do.

It would be like trying to answer the question "how do I do somethingspontaneously?" (I'm not saying that is the same question ... just the same

kind of difficulty).Thus the gibberish.

Someone else said poetry ... not sure it deserves that high minded label butI was just trying to give voice to an experience.It was stream of consciousness as you said.

Sorry if it does not make sense. For you, the question was not answered.We will try to find another way.Have you read "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life"?

Lots of sentences in there. Part of that book isdancing around this question as well- S C. Foundation ProfessorDepartment of Psychology /298

University of NevadaReno, NV 89557-0062"Love isn't everything, it's the only thing"hayes@... or stevenchayes@...

Fax: Psych Department: Contextual Change (you can use this number for messages if need be): Blogs: Psychology Today http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-out-your-mind

Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steven-c-hayes-phdIf you want my vita, publications, PowerPoint slides, try my training page:

http://contextualpsychology.org/steve_hayesor you can try my website (it is semi-functional) stevenchayes.com

If you have any questions about ACT or RFT (articles, AAQ information etc), please first check the vast resources at website of the Association for Contextual Behavioral Science (ACBS): www.contextualpsychology.org. You have to register on the site to download things, but the cost is up to your own values.

If you are a professional or student and want to be part of the world wide ACT discussion or RFT discussions, join the ACT list: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy/join

or the RFT list:http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/relationalframetheory/joinIf you are a member of the public reading ACT self-help books (e.g., "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life" etc) and want to be part of that conversation go to: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join

Ok, I did not understand a single word of this. So, problem solving is bad? We should just observe? Disengage from problem solving? Not try and do anything? I know I must be confused, cause it sounded like you're saying don't try and problem solve, just mindfully observe. Which is great, but if they're mutually exclusive how/when do you ever actually solve any problems?

Can you explain what you did in actual sentences and not just stream-of-consciousness gibberish please.

> > "Clients have a hard time shifting from a problem-solving mode into a

> > mindful appreciation mode."

> >

> > To be honest I think I've been approaching ACT in a problem-solving mode.

> > So can someone give me some insight into how to approach ACT in the mindful

> > appreciation mode and also what the advantages of doing so are.

> >

> > Thanks in advance.

> >

> > Rodney

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

> .  You have absolutely no idea what the dynamics are between and her

daughter and it doesn't seem appropriate to imply this kind of outcome for them

..  I admit to having some sadness about this episode of drunk posting , too,

but can only hope that will ultimately find her path without relying on

substances, if she so chooses.

> Helena

you may feel it unkind and loaded, but i do know of the dynamics that have been

shared on the list, Lou has shared that her daughter moved out because of her

drinking and that she had moved back because Lou had become sober and Lou

commited to us not to post when she has been drinking. Wanda

[Guest guest]

> .  You have absolutely no idea what the dynamics are between and her

daughter and it doesn't seem appropriate to imply this kind of outcome for them

..  I admit to having some sadness about this episode of drunk posting , too,

but can only hope that will ultimately find her path without relying on

substances, if she so chooses.

> Helena

you may feel it unkind and loaded, but i do know of the dynamics that have been

shared on the list, Lou has shared that her daughter moved out because of her

drinking and that she had moved back because Lou had become sober and Lou

commited to us not to post when she has been drinking. Wanda

[Guest guest]

Wanda, I was not aware that Lou had posted that as the reason for her daughter moving out and later back home, nor of her commitment to not post drunk. I wasn't even aware that she had decided to become sober (ongoingly). Perhaps I missed those things, or could you be reading some things into her posts? Just asking ... in a friendly way.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2012 10:09:37 AMSubject: Re: Question for re: problem solving vs. appreciation in ACT

> . You have absolutely no idea what the dynamics are between and her daughter and it doesn't seem appropriate to imply this kind of outcome for them . I admit to having some sadness about this episode of drunk posting , too, but can only hope that will ultimately find her path without relying on substances, if she so chooses. > Helena you may feel it unkind and loaded, but i do know of the dynamics that have been shared on the list, Lou has shared that her daughter moved out because of her drinking and that she had moved back because Lou had become sober and Lou commited to us not to post when she has been drinking. Wanda

[Guest guest]

Wanda, I was not aware that Lou had posted that as the reason for her daughter moving out and later back home, nor of her commitment to not post drunk. I wasn't even aware that she had decided to become sober (ongoingly). Perhaps I missed those things, or could you be reading some things into her posts? Just asking ... in a friendly way.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2012 10:09:37 AMSubject: Re: Question for re: problem solving vs. appreciation in ACT

> . You have absolutely no idea what the dynamics are between and her daughter and it doesn't seem appropriate to imply this kind of outcome for them . I admit to having some sadness about this episode of drunk posting , too, but can only hope that will ultimately find her path without relying on substances, if she so chooses. > Helena you may feel it unkind and loaded, but i do know of the dynamics that have been shared on the list, Lou has shared that her daughter moved out because of her drinking and that she had moved back because Lou had become sober and Lou commited to us not to post when she has been drinking. Wanda

[Guest guest]

Hi Helena, I don't know how to answer your question. I can't quote Lou's

specific posts.....Wanda

[Guest guest]

Hi Helena, I don't know how to answer your question. I can't quote Lou's

specific posts.....Wanda

[Guest guest]

No need to answer - I'll go to the Yahoo ACT website and re-read the posts to see if I missed anything.

Helena

From: "WandaZ" <wandarzimmcomcast (DOT) net>To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2012 10:50:30 AMSubject: Re: Question for re: problem solving vs. appreciation in ACT

Hi Helena, I don't know how to answer your question. I can't quote Lou's specific posts.....Wanda

[Guest guest]

No need to answer - I'll go to the Yahoo ACT website and re-read the posts to see if I missed anything.

Helena

From: "WandaZ" <wandarzimmcomcast (DOT) net>To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2012 10:50:30 AMSubject: Re: Question for re: problem solving vs. appreciation in ACT

Hi Helena, I don't know how to answer your question. I can't quote Lou's specific posts.....Wanda

[Guest guest]

What's the function of posting this kind of stuff to the entire list?It seems like this back and forth about what "she said or didn't say" etc. could be done back channel. I find it distracting and annoying as I try to read along in otherwise interesting thread. To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2012

8:03 AM Subject: Re: Re: Question for re: problem solving vs. appreciation in ACT

No need to answer - I'll go to the Yahoo ACT website and re-read the posts to see if I missed anything.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2012 10:50:30 AMSubject: Re: Question for re: problem solving vs. appreciation in ACT

Hi Helena, I don't know how to answer your question. I can't quote Lou's specific posts.....Wanda

[Guest guest]

What's the function of posting this kind of stuff to the entire list?It seems like this back and forth about what "she said or didn't say" etc. could be done back channel. I find it distracting and annoying as I try to read along in otherwise interesting thread. To: ACT for the Public <ACT_for_the_Public > Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2012

8:03 AM Subject: Re: Re: Question for re: problem solving vs. appreciation in ACT

No need to answer - I'll go to the Yahoo ACT website and re-read the posts to see if I missed anything.

Helena

To: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2012 10:50:30 AMSubject: Re: Question for re: problem solving vs. appreciation in ACT

Hi Helena, I don't know how to answer your question. I can't quote Lou's specific posts.....Wanda