Great experience with tracking my thoughts in time

[Guest guest]

Don't know if this will cheer anyone up, but I did the " tracking-exercise " from

" Get Out of Your Mind.. " today and it really worked. I have been struggling

really bad lately, my mind screaming and worrying and going back and forth in

time, telling me to avoid everything. I woke up feeling very very confused and

not knowing what to do, I decided to go for a jog (panic style). My thinking was

like " if I can't make these thoughts go away now, I'll end up in a mental

hospital again, sitting on a bed and crying my heart and brain out for five

months " .

I called up a kind of crisis phone number, and talked to a woman psychologist

for a while. I just said the usual stuff ( " there's no way of making this go

away " , " I can't stand this anymore " etc), and she told me to focus my attention

on something else. All respect to her, but I knew that wouldn't work. I have had

these thoughts before, and I have never been able to do anything about them

before. I thanked her for the talk and hung up. I wanted to start jogging, but I

couldn't, because I didn't see the point. There was no way I was jogging myself

out of this pain. I was angry, confused, and very very sad.

Then I remembered the tracking-exercise from the book, and I started doing that,

with one finger on the leg of my shorts, just walking. I didn't think it would

work. I followed my thoughts, and they were jumping forwards to events in the

future I was worrying about, and back in time to show me what an idiot I am, and

how everything is going to stay the same forever. I kept doing it, moving my

attention back to my surroundings whenever I floated back and forth in time. I

couldn't believe it when it actually started working, and I don't know if I have

really tried it long enough before. It is a great feeling, being in the present.

I am still kind of flabbergasted by the effect it had. I thought this was the

last step on the ladder into depression-hell for me. Damn.

I guess all of you have tried this exercise. If you haven't, I can recommend it,

a least. Maybe different things work for different people, though. It sounds too

simple to be true, but today was a breakthrough for me. I have never been able

to do anything about my depressive thoughts at this level before. I am very

happy about it.

Much love to you all.

Håkon.