Re: I am...self as context

[Guest guest]

Hi - that's really interesting! I changed my name to Kate in my early

twenties, because everyone insisted on calling me which I didn't like,

rather than which I did. The only people that call me now

are my mum and and one or two old friends from school days. I'd love to go back

to using because it feels like " me " and Kate never really has, but the

practicality of that is about nil unless I moved somewhere new where nobody

knows me. I still go by on all my official documents accounts etc,

which does lead to some confusion.

Anyway the way our self identity and memories are so connected with our names is

what interests me. I know I actually " feel " different about myself when I think

of myself as " " . It's almost primal, it goes back so long into my

history, back to a pre-verbal age I suppose. The associations with that name

are so old. There are both positive and negative associations, but most of them

are positive for me - it really does feel like that name is " who I am " , and the

" Kate " identity is something tacked on and external.

Cheers

Kate (!)

>

>

> Along the journey of understanding self as context, I took a bold move and

started using my childhood name (). Nobody has used that name with me for

years, people know me as Lou. Initially, I found myself back in the dark ages,

attempting to make sense of childhood experiences. I soon discovered that to be

impossible and thus, full of suffering. Time went on and I continued to use the

name despite the difficulties. Something strange began to happen, little

began to grow up before my eyes and I felt a sense of being more mature.

It was like she just got all her baggage and moved in. It left me with a feeling

of being whole (I know that sounds strange). Right here, this organism tacking

away on this computer is all that there is.

>

> Yesterday my beautiful daughter gave me a gift. It is a cup with the name

on it. Wow, I was blown away, my daughter has never known me as

and she has only ever heard my brother call me by that name. I felt strange,

kind of confused. This IS me, or mine or something?

>

> I guess I'm still travelling with this one. I do find it quite incredible that

a name can induce so much mixed emotion. The name that you are called says

nothing about `who' you are. I often repeat the quote, " I am that...I am " . More

than ever, I now believe that `I am energy'.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

There is so much rich insight in your words, ! I was known as "Lena" as a child, and I really don't like that name, now or then. But when my childhood friends call me that, I don't mind because it takes me back to when we we first became friends, and I am grateful for the fact that we still are (decades later). My older sister changed her name when she was a young adult. It was a conscious effort to leave the wounded child behind and carve out a new person with new memories. I didn't really work; she still suffers a lot. Once, when a therapist referred to her by her given name - Joan - she had a panic attack, burst into tears and ran out of the room, never to return to that therapist or any other. She says she simply cannot handle going back to feeling like that child. I think if you can't learn to accept and love that wounded child, I don't know if you can accept and love the adult you've become. So I think you are definitely on the right track, , by taking back your childhood name - you are opening up to and making room for the pain that stems from the past but that is still so much with you - it is a part of you. In doing that, you embrace yourself whole self and not just some created artifact of yourself that you want to see - as though you can scrape away the wounded parts of you without acknowledging them. I wish my sister could understand that, but she is too terrified to go there.I love it when people here (like you) share the ways in which they are "living ACT." It does my heart good and inspires me to keep going. My big challenge this morning (I just got out of bed) is to try to shake off a horror story I heard on the radio, right as I woke up, about severe animal abuse involving five puppies. There is something about those stories of abused vulnerable animals that plops me right back into the terrified child I was. I am looking at my rescued kitties and remembering all those I rescued in the past (who have now passed on), and I tell myself I am doing my best to be of assistance to these poor animals. Of all the things in my life that are hard to defuse, animal or child abuse is exceedingly difficult. I'm afraid that story will cast a shadow over my entire day - I need to plan some actions that will help me realize my value of being kind to animals and every vulnerable creature, human or non-human. When I can't defuse a painful feeling, the only way I can come to accept it is to DO something good that is related to that helpless feeling. Like - stopping by the animal shelter to make a donation. I spent $20 on cat food my finicky cats hate - I could donate that.Sorry to have rambled so much - the scent of my first cup of coffee is wafting into my computer room and I will now go and enjoy it! Maybe my mind will become more focused. I am such a morning person! My minds spins and races early in the morning sometimes.Thanks for listening...HelenaTo: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, June 8, 2012 7:17:32 PMSubject: I am...self as context

Along the journey of understanding self as context, I took a bold move and started using my childhood name (). Nobody has used that name with me for years, people know me as Lou. Initially, I found myself back in the dark ages, attempting to make sense of childhood experiences. I soon discovered that to be impossible and thus, full of suffering. Time went on and I continued to use the name despite the difficulties. Something strange began to happen, little began to grow up before my eyes and I felt a sense of being more mature. It was like she just got all her baggage and moved in. It left me with a feeling of being whole (I know that sounds strange). Right here, this organism tacking away on this computer is all that there is.

Yesterday my beautiful daughter gave me a gift. It is a cup with the name on it. Wow, I was blown away, my daughter has never known me as and she has only ever heard my brother call me by that name. I felt strange, kind of confused. This IS me, or mine or something?

I guess I'm still travelling with this one. I do find it quite incredible that a name can induce so much mixed emotion. The name that you are called says nothing about `who' you are. I often repeat the quote, "I am that...I am". More than ever, I now believe that `I am energy'.

[Guest guest]

Hi Kate - and hi : )I think you could try to get people to call you - it may take some time and some people might never come around, but I've had friends who were successful in that endeavor. I have a nephew who now wants to be called , after years of using his middle name (Tony-short for ) to differentiate him from his father with the same name (). He has been pretty darn successful with that. He simply feels more like a than a Tony. I do think seems to suit you better. It is more noble and artsy (like you!). If you want to give it a whirl, I'm in!HelenaTo: "ACT for the Public" <ACT_for_the_Public >Sent: Friday, June 8, 2012 8:14:02 PMSubject: Re: I am...self as context

Hi - that's really interesting! I changed my name to Kate in my early twenties, because everyone insisted on calling me which I didn't like, rather than which I did. The only people that call me now are my mum and and one or two old friends from school days. I'd love to go back to using because it feels like "me" and Kate never really has, but the practicality of that is about nil unless I moved somewhere new where nobody knows me. I still go by on all my official documents accounts etc, which does lead to some confusion.

Anyway the way our self identity and memories are so connected with our names is what interests me. I know I actually "feel" different about myself when I think of myself as "". It's almost primal, it goes back so long into my history, back to a pre-verbal age I suppose. The associations with that name are so old. There are both positive and negative associations, but most of them are positive for me - it really does feel like that name is "who I am", and the "Kate" identity is something tacked on and external.

Cheers

Kate (!)

>

>

> Along the journey of understanding self as context, I took a bold move and started using my childhood name (). Nobody has used that name with me for years, people know me as Lou. Initially, I found myself back in the dark ages, attempting to make sense of childhood experiences. I soon discovered that to be impossible and thus, full of suffering. Time went on and I continued to use the name despite the difficulties. Something strange began to happen, little began to grow up before my eyes and I felt a sense of being more mature. It was like she just got all her baggage and moved in. It left me with a feeling of being whole (I know that sounds strange). Right here, this organism tacking away on this computer is all that there is.

>

> Yesterday my beautiful daughter gave me a gift. It is a cup with the name on it. Wow, I was blown away, my daughter has never known me as and she has only ever heard my brother call me by that name. I felt strange, kind of confused. This IS me, or mine or something?

>

> I guess I'm still travelling with this one. I do find it quite incredible that a name can induce so much mixed emotion. The name that you are called says nothing about `who' you are. I often repeat the quote, "I am that...I am". More than ever, I now believe that `I am energy'.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Fascinating. Thank you.D

 

Along the journey of understanding self as context, I took a bold move and started using my childhood name (). Nobody has used that name with me for years, people know me as Lou. Initially, I found myself back in the dark ages, attempting to make sense of childhood experiences. I soon discovered that to be impossible and thus, full of suffering. Time went on and I continued to use the name despite the difficulties. Something strange began to happen, little began to grow up before my eyes and I felt a sense of being more mature. It was like she just got all her baggage and moved in. It left me with a feeling of being whole (I know that sounds strange). Right here, this organism tacking away on this computer is all that there is.

Yesterday my beautiful daughter gave me a gift. It is a cup with the name on it. Wow, I was blown away, my daughter has never known me as and she has only ever heard my brother call me by that name. I felt strange, kind of confused. This IS me, or mine or something?

I guess I'm still travelling with this one. I do find it quite incredible that a name can induce so much mixed emotion. The name that you are called says nothing about `who' you are. I often repeat the quote, " I am that...I am " . More than ever, I now believe that `I am energy'.

-- Darrell G King, RN, CASAC-TRochester, NY, UShttp://darrellking.comDarrellGKing@...

[Guest guest]

"I am energy" sounds beyond, metaphysical and spiritual.It immediately puts my mind on a very high observing mode, calming my turbulent self-judgement part of mind.Myself too, had been struggling with identity issue since young. All the years of logical thinking and psychological reasoning put ideas in perspectives but along with them negative emotions and suffering built up. Only true acceptance, with or without intellectual reasonings, is able to safe me from obscuration to living fully and feeling whole and peaceful under my own skin.Only then that I can truly love myself, allow love into my life and love others.With the help I get here, I am hopeful to transform the above intellectual process into experiential energy by practicing mindfulness.Thanks TC>> > Along the journey of understanding self as context, I took a bold move and started using my childhood name (). Nobody has used that name with me for years, people know me as Lou. Initially, I found myself back in the dark ages, attempting to make sense of childhood experiences. I soon discovered that to be impossible and thus, full of suffering. Time went on and I continued to use the name despite the difficulties. Something strange began to happen, little began to grow up before my eyes and I felt a sense of being more mature. It was like she just got all her baggage and moved in. It left me with a feeling of being whole (I know that sounds strange). Right here, this organism tacking away on this computer is all that there is. > > Yesterday my beautiful daughter gave me a gift. It is a cup with the name on it. Wow, I was blown away, my daughter has never known me as and she has only ever heard my brother call me by that name. I felt strange, kind of confused. This IS me, or mine or something? > > I guess I'm still travelling with this one. I do find it quite incredible that a name can induce so much mixed emotion. The name that you are called says nothing about `who' you are. I often repeat the quote, "I am that...I am". More than ever, I now believe that `I am energy'.> > >

[Guest guest]

yes, humming along . I'm originally from New Zealand (Aotearoa) but lived

in Oz since a child.

I remember different times from childhood where I would repeat my 'name' to

myself over and over ie '. I am '. It always seemed so strange and

unreal. It didn't make sense to me that I was '' but I couldn't have said

why. Now I would say it's because I feel I'm more than that. I'm energy. I'm

everything, having an experience of being human and labelled ''.

seems kind of redundant to sign my name to this post.

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> Thanks for all this feedback guys,

>  

> I don't know why it surprises me that others relate. I do know that learning

of people who do relate instills a sense of connection. That sense of not being

alone.

>  

> We have a lovely song that we sing in Australia, it starts off... " We are are

one but we are many, and from all the lands on earth we come. We share a dream,

and sing with one voice, I am, you are, we are...[all human] " (I added 'all

human', the song doesn't have it. I'll bet the Aussies are humming right about

now :-)

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> Cheers,

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