WARNING SEXUAL CONTENT Re: Re: Nadas and sexual development

[Guest guest]

OMG, that is horrible. I am so sorry. I hope it helps to talk about it and

to know it's not your fault.

Something similar very nearly happened to me. When I was about 15, this

gross boy who had been kicked out of his house was hanging out with some of

my friends. My b*tch of a mother somehow met him and talked to him for about

3 minutes. Then she told him he could come stay with us. The kid made me

really nervous, he seemed very attracted to me and the feeling wasn't

mutual. He wouldn't take " no " for an answer. So, I took nada aside and said

that he made me feel very uncomfortable in a sexual way. The b*tch said,

" oh, that's okay, he can still stay with us, you can just sleep in my bed

with me. " WTF

I think my brother, who was also their figured out what was going on and

told the kid to get lost. Thank God. It never came up again. It was funny

too because this was the same day she told me " I " m worried you might be a

slut " after seeing me hug one of the boys that I grew up with who was just a

friend. I mean, I took baths with the kid when we were 2 - and suddenly i'm

a slut for giving him a hug - I was closer to him than a brother, in a

brother/sister way. WTF

>

> Tag,

> No, I didn't have to see him in school. But (I don't know if I had

> posted bits and pieces of this before) I had to face him AT HOME

> because my nada had let him move in with us. Remember the thread about

> inappropriate friendliness/behavior, yeah,...the Fed Ex guy story and

> all,....anyway, this guy was 17 and his mom had kicked him out. Nada

> found this out in meeting him in the grocery store where he was working

> stock and bagging, didn't know him from Adam but acted like he was her

> long lost son and INVITED him to live with us. He was very charming at

> first and me being only barely 14 was intrigued by the attention of an

> older boy. I had never had a serious BF yet and well,...you get it.

>

> When I confided to nada what happened, she told me that well, that's

> just the way men are. Get used to it. He told me after that now I was

> damaged goods and no one else would want me anyway so I might as well

> let him do to me what he wanted. It was horribly degrading.

>

> He finally left when nada slept with the guy who came to tune the

> piano. I think he got jealous because he was sexing up my nada while I

> was at school during the day but that's purely speculation.

> Mercy

>

>

> >

> > That is terrible about what happened to you your first time. I hope

> you have been able to heal from it. What a jerk. Did you still have

> to see the boy in school?

> >

> >

> > Tag

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

WTF sums it up, huh?

Funny. My brother was mostly a d*ck to me, and he was the " good " one in the

b*tch's eyes (I prefer that word to nada by far, that's what I call my

mother in my own mind) but I can remember one or two times that he would

somehow detect that something was going to happen that would break me into

pieces and silently intervene behind my back, like magic.

Mostly I hate him, but right now I'm thanking god for him. What would I have

done with that ass in my house, stalking me? How dare my mother put me in

that position.

And how dare your mother do that to you? Makes me furious. I always wanted a

sister. Maybe we can be each other's sisters by choice.

Take care of yourself and again I'm so sorry that happened to you, Girlscout

>

> GirlScout,

> It's taken YEARS for me to remember all those details and put it all

> behind me. I had completely wiped it out; didn't remember a thing.

> It was actually my sister and I talking about things and she made a

> passing comment about this guy/jerk that set the whole process in

> motion. Yes, I do know now that it's not my fault. Thank you for

> your kind words. Talking about it does help still and I hope to God

> that my story can help someone else. There is so much suffering in

> all our pasts that we just have to stick together. Plain and

> simple. We're all in this together and I just don't want to see any

> of us beaten down any more.

>

> Y'know,...I've always wanted a brother. Maybe he would have kicked

> my 'gross boy' out! : )

>

> Mercy

>

> P.S. LOL,...I've found that WTF applies to SOOOO many situations in

> my past. Haven't you? : )

>

>

> >

> > OMG, that is horrible. I am so sorry. I hope it helps to talk about

> it and

> > to know it's not your fault.

> >

> > Something similar very nearly happened to me. When I was about 15,

> this

> > gross boy who had been kicked out of his house was hanging out with

> some of

> > my friends. My b*tch of a mother somehow met him and talked to him

> for about

> > 3 minutes. Then she told him he could come stay with us. The kid

> made me

> > really nervous, he seemed very attracted to me and the feeling

> wasn't

> > mutual. He wouldn't take " no " for an answer. So, I took nada aside

> and said

> > that he made me feel very uncomfortable in a sexual way. The b*tch

> said,

> > " oh, that's okay, he can still stay with us, you can just sleep in

> my bed

> > with me. " WTF

> >

> > I think my brother, who was also their figured out what was going

> on and

> > told the kid to get lost. Thank God. It never came up again. It was

> funny

> > too because this was the same day she told me " I " m worried you

> might be a

> > slut " after seeing me hug one of the boys that I grew up with who

> was just a

> > friend. I mean, I took baths with the kid when we were 2 - and

> suddenly i'm

> > a slut for giving him a hug - I was closer to him than a brother,

> in a

> > brother/sister way. WTF

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh Mercy - what a sad story. What a terrible position to be put in. You

definitely were not being cared for properly on so many levels. The damaged

goods comment is so cruel. It sounds like you are able to discuss it which I

hope means you have been able to work through it. I know something like this

can't ever go away, but it sounds like you have made a good life for yourself.

Hugs to you,

Tag

WARNING SEXUAL CONTENT Re: Re: Nadas and sexual

development

Tag,

No, I didn't have to see him in school. But (I don't know if I had

posted bits and pieces of this before) I had to face him AT HOME

because my nada had let him move in with us. Remember the thread about

inappropriate friendliness/ behavior, yeah,...the Fed Ex guy story and

all,.....anyway, this guy was 17 and his mom had kicked him out. Nada

found this out in meeting him in the grocery store where he was working

stock and bagging, didn't know him from Adam but acted like he was her

long lost son and INVITED him to live with us. He was very charming at

first and me being only barely 14 was intrigued by the attention of an

older boy. I had never had a serious BF yet and well,...you get it.

When I confided to nada what happened, she told me that well, that's

just the way men are. Get used to it. He told me after that now I was

damaged goods and no one else would want me anyway so I might as well

let him do to me what he wanted. It was horribly degrading.

He finally left when nada slept with the guy who came to tune the

piano. I think he got jealous because he was sexing up my nada while I

was at school during the day but that's purely speculation.

Mercy

>

> That is terrible about what happened to you your first time. I hope

you have been able to heal from it. What a jerk. Did you still have

to see the boy in school?

>

>

> Tag

>

>

>

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[Guest guest]

awww mercy! I have a sister whom i feel the same way about. It sure took a long

time to get here with nada pitting the 2 of us against each other for so long

but now that we are here... nothing beats it.

WARNING SEXUAL CONTENT Re: Re: Nadas and sexual

development

GirlScout,

I don't know what I'd do without my sister. I wish you all had one

just like her. We stick together through everything. Aside from my

husband, she is the one person in the whole world that I know has my

back no matter what and I would go to the mat for her no matter what.

We are fiercely protective of each other. Like I said, I wish you all

had one just like her.

I'm all up for being sisters by choice!

Kindest regards,

Mercy

>

> WTF sums it up, huh? <----------- -----You BETCHA!!

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[Guest guest]

awww mercy! I have a sister whom i feel the same way about. It sure took a long

time to get here with nada pitting the 2 of us against each other for so long

but now that we are here... nothing beats it.

WARNING SEXUAL CONTENT Re: Re: Nadas and sexual

development

GirlScout,

I don't know what I'd do without my sister. I wish you all had one

just like her. We stick together through everything. Aside from my

husband, she is the one person in the whole world that I know has my

back no matter what and I would go to the mat for her no matter what.

We are fiercely protective of each other. Like I said, I wish you all

had one just like her.

I'm all up for being sisters by choice!

Kindest regards,

Mercy

>

> WTF sums it up, huh? <----------- -----You BETCHA!!

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[Guest guest]

Choosing to put a child in a dangerous situation is abuse. That and she was

derelict in her duties once you told her what was happening. These Bp are really

selfish people. The ones I've known would throw her own kids under the bus the

second it benefited her. They both are terrible for what happened.

friendsofcam wrote: You're right. She

definitly shouldn't have done those things.

> >

> > Mercy, Your mom definitely did send mixed messages about sex.

And

> > that was weird to tell you to get a condom. She should have

been

> > more supportive. However, I don't think that it's her fault

that

> > you were raped, or that your first experience was rape.

> >

> > That was the fault of the man who did it. Still, I do believe

> that

> > being in abusive homes makes us more vulnerable to being

> > victimized. Because, it is confusing, lowers our self esteem

and

> > makes us more fragile. I remember hearing a rapist on the news

say

> > that he can spot a girl like that out of a hundred girls,

walking

> in

> > the mall, and he can do it in a minute.

> >

>

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[Guest guest]

Hey ,

Yes - my nada was molested by an uncle when she was little. I have spoken to

her about it in detail because I suspected it might answer some questions,

however, after spending some time really delving into it with her, it seemed

that she had processed through the event in a surprisingly healthy way. I was

not abused, so I can never know what it was like for her or anyone else who has

been victimized, but I did not come away feeling that the isolated event with

her uncle was what caused her to be BPD.. All of her ideas about EVERYTHING are

just so skewed, I feel there has to be more to it. She has some insane jeolousy

about any form attention - not just sexual. And yes, I became a slut and whore

as soon as I reached puberty.

tag

Re: WARNING SEXUAL CONTENT Re: Re: Nadas and sexual

development

There seems to be a common behavioral pattern with BPD Nadas. Mine hated women,

hated her own daughters, yet kissed ass to every man she met. Literally, she

would sell any one of us out to gain the favor of a man. Why is that? Why do so

many female BPDs have a preoccupation with men themselves and then accuse all

the other girls around them of being sluts?I've always suspected mine of having

a major " Daddy Complex " (her father committed suicicide when she was about 12 or

14). Also, it wouldn't surprise me if she had been sexually molested (she has

some warped ideas on sexuality). Is it just me or have the rest of you had that

experience?

mercysaidno415 <mercysaidno415@ yahoo.com> wrote: Hi Friendsofcam,

I thank you for your response to my earlier post. However, I have to

respectfully disagree with you. I filled in some details in a

subsequent post to Tag. I did indeed admit my part in being snowed

by an older boy HOWEVER, my nada INVITED him to live in our home. At

the time my Dad was gone and it was her, me and my younger sister

living together. When you are a single mother with two girls, you do

not invite an older teenage boy you just met to LIVE in your home

like your long lost son. She talked him up, she said he was a 'nice'

boy, he had her fooled, he charmed me, I fell for it, he took

advantage of the stupid divorced single mother and her naive,

trusting daughter. She is partly to blame. You just don't do that.

She should have been the parent, I trusted her and he was just an

opportunistic jerk. She set the situation up to affect the rest of

my life,....I blame her AND I blame him. He raped me and she didn't

kick him out, she blew me off with a lame excuse, let him stay and

abuse me too! WTF??? (See, Scout? Perfect.)

I do blame her as well as him.

Kindest regards,

Mercy

>

> Mercy, Your mom definitely did send mixed messages about sex. And

> that was weird to tell you to get a condom. She should have been

> more supportive. However, I don't think that it's her fault that

> you were raped, or that your first experience was rape.

>

> That was the fault of the man who did it. Still, I do believe

that

> being in abusive homes makes us more vulnerable to being

> victimized. Because, it is confusing, lowers our self esteem and

> makes us more fragile. I remember hearing a rapist on the news say

> that he can spot a girl like that out of a hundred girls, walking

in

> the mall, and he can do it in a minute.

>

------------ --------- --------- ---

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[Guest guest]

I don't blame you for being NC with her. That makes me furious just

reading it. I am so, so sorry that you were treated that way. It

touches me on such a deep level because I don't think that anyone

truly understands how it feels to be treated this way by a parent

unless they have been there. It is so her loss that she doesn't have

you in her life. ((((((((hugs))))))))