WARNING SEXUAL CONTENT Re: Re: Nadas and sexual development

[Guest guest]

Mercy, Your mom definitely did send mixed messages about sex. And

that was weird to tell you to get a condom. She should have been

more supportive. However, I don't think that it's her fault that

you were raped, or that your first experience was rape.

That was the fault of the man who did it. Still, I do believe that

being in abusive homes makes us more vulnerable to being

victimized. Because, it is confusing, lowers our self esteem and

makes us more fragile. I remember hearing a rapist on the news say

that he can spot a girl like that out of a hundred girls, walking in

the mall, and he can do it in a minute.

And then, of course, we have no one there to protect us. My dad was

so gone, he was like nobody. And my mom was trying to protect me,

but, in an insane BPD sort of way that was of no use. She's so over-

protective in some ways and so completely un-protective in the

needed ways.

So, of course, I was very vulnerable to men.

I think that as we overcome our weird BPD parenting and learn to

walk and live with confidence, being aware of our surroundings,

then we are less vulnerable.

> >

> > Once again, I am so thankful to the members of this board who

are

> willing to talk through such painful and personal subjects.

Reading

> all of your posts has brought me another one of those lightbulb

moments

> and along with that - such relief. This thread is completely

> fascinating to me. I got all kinds of weird mixed messages when it

> came to sex and bodily functions also. Here are some of the major

> things I remember...

> >

> > My nada was always telling me she got an infection from having

sex

> with my father. I can remember seeing her squat over a pyrex dish

in

> the bathroom pouring diluted Lysol over her genitals. It was

> horrible. Apparently there is an old wives tale about Lysol

preventing

> pregnancy, but she thought it would make her clean. I can also

> remember her douching constantly.

>

>

>

>

>

>

_____________________________________________________________________

_______________

> Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your home page.

> http://www.yahoo.com/r/hs

>

>