Re: The Neverending Battle (Read the whole thing before you start flaming me)

[Guest guest]

Jim! You have figured out all the mysteries of the universe right here!

Dave

[texasems-L] The Neverending Battle (Read the whole thing before

you start flaming me)

> The Neverending Battle

>

>

> In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth. And the

> Earth was without form, and void, and darkness was upon the

> face of the deep.

>

> And Satan said, " It doesn't get any better than this. "

>

> And God said, " Let there be light, " and there was light.

>

> And God said, " Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding

> seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit, " and God saw that it was

> good.

>

> And Satan said, " There goes the neighborhood. "

>

> And God said, " Let us make Man in our image, after our likeness,

> and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the

> fowl of the air and over the cattle, and over all the Earth, and

> over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the Earth. " And so

> God created Man in his own image; male and female created he

> them. And God looked upon Man and Woman and saw that

> they were lean and fit.

>

> And Satan said, " I know how I can get back in this game. "

>

> And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and

> spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and

> Woman would live long and healthy lives.

>

> And Satan created Mc's. And Mc's brought forth the

> 99-cent double cheeseburger.

>

> And Satan said to Man, " You want fries with that? "

>

> And Man said, " Supersize them. " And Man gained 5 pounds.

>

> And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her

> figure that man found so fair.

>

> And Satan brought forth chocolate. And Woman gained 5 pounds.

>

> And God said, " Try my crispy fresh salad. "

>

> And Satan brought forth Ben and Jerry's. And Woman gained 10

> pounds.

>

> And God said, " I have sent thee heart-healthy vegetables and

> olive oil with which to cook them. "

>

> And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its

> own platter.

>

> And Man gained 10 pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the

> roof.

>

> And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose

> those extra pounds.

>

> And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would

> not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.

>

> And Man gained another 20 pounds.

>

> And God said, " You're running up the score, Devil. " And God

> brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and

> brimming with nutrition.

>

> And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy

> center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created

> sour cream dip also.

>

> And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips

> swaddled in cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, " It is good. "

>

> And Man went into cardiac arrest.

>

> And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

>

> And Satan created HMO's.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>