Two questions from a newbie

February 18, 2008

I am just beginning to do some reading about BPD and I've been

wondering about 2 specific things.

Here's the background on the first question:

This is an incident that happened around my mother's 80th birthday.

She was born in late October and began to drop not so subtle hints by

the end of the summer(August)that she expected that her 5 children

would want to give her a big 80th birthday celebration. Well of

course we did - NOT! Anyway, for a couple of us money was really

tight (she knew this) so we did whatever we could to make the party

nice without it costing a lot. My one sister spent her last dime to

fly here from another state. We arranged a very nice party, invited

all of her friends she wanted and all of our family members. She

checked in regularly with us constantly throughout the week of the

party. She seemed very excited and proud that her children were

giving her a party, even though she suggested it. About a half hour

after the party started, with everyone in attendance, my sisters and

I wondered where she was. Long story short - we called her and she

was too ill to attend! Party went on without her and then we had to

bring everything over to her and sing HB, etc. in the comfort of her

home. All while she kept saying, " I don't know what came over me but

I got so sick.

QUESTION 1+ Had she planned this all along or was she really sick? "

Did she have us do this to impress her friends? Had she planned this

all along, or did she suddenly get sick?

Almost every holiday she pulled a stunt like this even when SHE was

the hostess. What is THAT all about? Did it make her sick to be

around her family?

QUESTION 2 No story here just a question. If a mother has BPD why

does she treat her children differently? I mean if a person has some

illness don't they have it all of the time with everyone?

Any insight here is appreciated. -neenmac

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