Guest guest Posted February 9, 2008 Report Share Posted February 9, 2008 Hello, My name is . I am new to this group. In fact I've never belonged to an online group before. This is my first message. I found out about this group through research my fiancee had done. She had posted some messages about my mom who we believe had BPD. People wrote interesting feedback and urged me to join. So here I am. I am so relieved to know that there is a name for how my mom has been my life and that there is a group that I can talk to. I thought that I was alone in this. However, I still feel scared. I am trying to draw boundaries but I have a sick feeling from doing so. I know it is theoretically supposed to be better but I am still scared. Can anybody share their thoughts with me. Does it ever get easier to deal with? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 10, 2008 Report Share Posted February 10, 2008 hey peter. i don't know if " easier " is the right word. boundaries definitely become more routine, though. with moms like ours, you just have to draw a line in the sand and then defend that line no matter what, over and over and over and over and over and... (well, that's if you want to maintain a relationship with your mom. you could go NC...) normal people back down after a while when they realize they've breeched a boundary, but bp's don't seem to have that insight. the way i figured out my boundaries was that i reviewed my personal code of ethics, then decided what acceptable treatment for all humans was and chose never to tolerate anything less for myself. bottom line: will she ever be normal? no. do you deserve to have a normal and fulfilling life despite this? yes. hope that helps, bink > > Hello, > > My name is . I am new to this group. In fact I've never > belonged to an online group before. This is my first message. I > found out about this group through research my fiancee had done. She > had posted some messages about my mom who we believe had BPD. People > wrote interesting feedback and urged me to join. So here I am. I am > so relieved to know that there is a name for how my mom has been my > life and that there is a group that I can talk to. I thought that I > was alone in this. However, I still feel scared. I am trying to draw > boundaries but I have a sick feeling from doing so. I know it is > theoretically supposed to be better but I am still scared. Can > anybody share their thoughts with me. Does it ever get easier to deal > with? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.