the dynamic with my mother is shifting

[Guest guest]

has anyone else ever had this happen when the dynamic changes because

a sister or brother previously NC is back on the scene? Plus my mother

has a new three-month old grandson she just adores.

I am starting to see things about her that are really creeping me out.

Since the grandchild was born she has been underwriting my father's

lies/misrepresentations more and more. Then my brother comes back on

the scene about a month later, and I'm seeing a look in her eyes

toward me I don't like. Resentment, malice, something. Something like

a competitive vibe. It's actually causing me a good deal of anxiety

just to write this down, it's really, really creepy. Times I was

growing up I felt like she hated me, she was so remote and the cold

way she would look at me made me feel like she was a stranger. This is

why I felt like she was a multiple personality when I was in my early

twenties and started working on these issues (more with an addiction

focus though). I see someone looking out of her eyes that does not

like me at all, that really, actually, dislikes me, maybe even hates

me. It's strange how much can change in just a few months. I guess I

have outlived my usefulness. I guess she used me as a confidante/ally

for these few years. Now with her favorite child back around/new

grandson/granddaughter on the way/ and eventual reunion with her first

granddaughter, I'm becoming 'the enemy' again. It really scares me for

some reason; I've had chills writing this out. She used to jerk me all

over the place emotionally when I was a kid. I felt I couldn't reach

her at all, and this could be days or hours after her using me for a

confidante about how poorly my dad was treating her. I didn't

understand how someone could treat me as a 'savior' one moment and a

few hours later I was back to being the devil. Those events were

incredibly painful for me...it creeps me out to no end when she

changes like that.