Re: Explaining BPD and FOO behavior to young grandchildren of BPD's?

[Guest guest]

I like the part about the BIG time out. For a four year old that seems about the

right level. One of the tactics I use with my son is to ask him what he wants to

know. It is fine if he asks a question but I don't want to answer it above his

head or give him too much information. Usually if my son can tell me what he

wants to know by asking the question I can give him just enough information to

satisfy him but not overload him or scare him.

We just had the good people bad people talk. How some people may seem to be good

on the outside but are not really good on the inside and how you really need to

listen to your inner voice to tell. Tough subject. I drill it into my son's head

that if anyone talks to him whether or not he knows them and he feels

uncomfortable or he is not sure that he should be talking to them he is to find

me or a teacher and ask if it is alright. Perhaps that is a tactic you could try

with your son. If nada or fada just suddenly show up he is to find you or your

husband or a teacher and ask if they are out of their BIG time out yet.

Hope this helps

Explaining BPD and FOO behavior to young

grandchildren of BPD's?

It's been awhile since I've been on this board. I hope all my old

posting pals have progressed with their healing and are in better

places now.

My DS is turning 4 soon. I went NC with BPD nada and NPD fada and BPD

younger sis 2.5 years ago. My DS still remembers them, but doesn't

ask to see them. We told him awhile ago that the grandparents were in

a big time out and that was enough for awhile.

Unfortunately, my fada has been stalking us but not in any way that

could help us to get a restraining order or call the police. We've

had to tell DS that if fada or nada shows up to not say anything and

walk away. So far they haven't attempted to contact him directly.

We just had a DD in late December and somehow the FOO found out about

her. Where not sure where the leak was from since we were pretty

careful about info distribution. Today, my fada showed up at my

husband's graduate school. He had parked his car right next to DH and

made it impossible for DH to enter the car without confronting him and

moving around him. (He didn't block the way or threaten. He played

the usual I'm subservient to you and will do anything you say passive

aggressive routine). I'm worried that they might try to ambush me or

the kids.

I felt I had to review the if you see the grandparents walk away

policy tonight. DS started asking more questions about why we don't

see them anymore and that he liked them.

Anyone have a similar situation and can advise what might be best to

say to young children? ;(

thanks,

a

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