Jim is gone : (

[Guest guest]

It is with a heavy heart that I tell you Jim died at 8:41AM Pacific Time today.

I was with him through the night. I stayed over for the last 3 nights at the

nursing home. I only went home once to shower and change when Hospice sent a

sitter to stay with Jim while I went home for awhile. He died peacefully, but he

was a fighter to the end. He didn't want to go. He looked like he was from a

concentration camp, he was so bony, no one knew where he was getting the energy

to keep on breathing, but he kept on going. He had a will to live.

Last night we had quality time together. They moved Jim into a private room and

I could talk to him and we did body language to show our love. I winked at him

and he raised his eyebrows up and down, I patted my heart to let him know I

loved him and when I went to put some vasiline on his dry lips, he pursed his

lips and kissed my finger and put his lips togeter and said, The B sound. It

sounded like Bye to me. It broke my heart. It was just like Jim to do something

so touching in a moment of sorrow.

He touched so many residents and staff at the nursing home with his personality

that they did a respectful ceremony for him as he went out the door for the last

time. Usually, the coroner comes and takes the people out on a gurney with a

cover over them and residents are sitting in the hall, but the

admin. staff cleared everyone out of the hall and not one person was sitting in

the hall and the staff went up and down the hall and closed all the doors to the

rooms in the hall that Jim would pass through and when Jim went down the hall

the staff all stood in silence. I never saw them do that before to anyone and

all the people that worked there said the samething. 

Sharyn, Jim's daughter, came when I called her to let her know that her dad had

passed. She had planned to come at 10AM before my call. She had been there most

of the day before too. She was a real support and we both were tearful and

helped each other through it. We both had a melt down when Jim passed through

the hall for the last time. Jim waited to go the day after my birthday instead

of on my birthday. The staff at the nursing home gave me a small party and they

all signed a birthday card. I was given a slice of cake with a candle on it, so

my birthday did not go unnoticed.

Sharyn helped me clean out all Jim's belongings out of drawers and closets and

pack them in the car to take home.

I am staying at my mom's tonight, so I don't sit at home alone and reflect and

have a melt down. My whole life for the past decade has been centered around

Jim. I won't know what to do with all my free time.

Thank you all for your kind words, concern and support.

Love and Hugs,

Jan Colello

Husband, Jim dx w/LBD 2003 died January 22, 2011