Re: Help....

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[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/6/2008 9:12:03 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

deerskin@... writes:

My friends

mean so much to me, in games, I go out of my way to be helpful and do more

than is asked, to try to offset my social idiocy. But its getting worse, and

the stress is also causing erosion of my mind

I wish I had answers for you but I can only say this is how I feel lately

myself. I have tried, reached out, only to be hurt over and over. I have gone

back to just being by myself with my seldom online contact. I try to keep quiet

because my mouth tends to get me into trouble. It's a very lonely life I

live. I wish it were different but I guess that's not in my cards. {{HUGS}}

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[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

--snipped for brevity only--

> I

> asked and askd for them to stop, they would just blow me off. Finally I

> reported them, and though it was supposed to have been where no one knew,

> someone told them I had reported, and I got thrown out, and now all of

> them

> hate me. I know I have problems with memory, and told them that I have

> physical and mental situations that are making it worse, making me forget,

> and asked their patience with me for it, to tell me when I forgot

> something,

> so I could fix it,etc. A few days a go, a friend made me think I could

> come

> back....this is the result of my asking to come back home:

> http://forum.wl.igg.com/viewthread.php?tid=27586 & extra=page%3D1

> (oh, and my ingame name, while in their group, was Allegra. Now, on

> another

> server, my character is SeaStar)

>

> Here is what I need help with....this keeps happning to me, over and over,

> and I am so afraid now to even hope to have a friend....no matter what the

> groups focus is, or game or whatever, I wind up with them banning me, and

> I

> don't know why, and it tears me up. This hurt was most recent, but the

> worst

> was in a group about racehorses, which I have loved since a kid. When the

> mare EightBelles broke her ankles in the Kentucky Derby, I was devastated,

> because it was yet another instance of a horse overmedicated, overraced at

> too early an age,with all the signs of other problems in the TB industry.

> I

> was horribly worried it was going to happen again in the other two Triple

> Crown races, because of how hard the push they horses...thank God it

> didn't

> but because I was not talking about how great it was that they could use

> meds and whatever to 'keep the horses going', and otherwise talking like

> the

> TB industry was at that time, I was thrown out, and IP banned. Why???

> Nothing I said was anything that isnt said now, or hasnt been known for as

> long as TBs have been raced-anything other than oats, hay, water, and

> sensible care will get you nothing but a weak horse that can run only a

> handful of races before he breakes down or has to be retired. But I got

> banned for that.

>

> My health has now made me house bound- I can walk around the house, but

> that

> s about it, because of where we live in a hilly part of town, I cant go

> for

> walks, etc. So my life is pretty much what I find online... And it hurts

> so

> much to make and lose friends every 3-4 months.... What can I do? My

> friends

> mean so much to me, in games, I go out of my way to be helpful and do more

> than is asked, to try to offset my social idiocy. But its getting worse,

> and

> the stress is also causing erosion of my mind...I'm taking a big risk, I

> feel, just writing this to youall. But I need, need help on what to do,

> before its too much for me

I feel for you, Gail, and know exactly what you mean. People will turn on

you again and again. That's why I avoid people as much as possible. Sorry, I

don't have a solution to your problems.

D.

[Guest guest]

Gail:

>Here is what I need help with....this keeps happning to me, over and over,

and I am so afraid now to even hope to have a friend....no matter what the

groups focus is, or game or whatever, I wind up with them banning me, and I

don't know why, and it tears me up.

Yes, pretty awful, and I understand why using foul language offends

you so much because I'm the same. I'm on a (NT) forum where one

person in particular posts offensively, and others have said they

enjoy his posts, like he's to be admired for being so daring or

something. And these aren't kids. He's had a go at me several times,

nastily and belittling me. People did stand up for me in a big way

those times, but then he said they were ganging up on him, and I was

stirring up trouble. A couple of others backed him up on this.

Now I just try not to rock the boat with him at all. I hate it.

There are times he says awful things, including recently some dreadful

things about autistic people and personality disordered people. He

doesn't know I'm autistic, just thinks I'm OTT on political

correctness. If he knew he'd slam me for it.

Anyway, the point of this is that if I want to hang out on that forum

I have to keep my head down a lot. I think it's wrong, really wrong,

but the choice is to perform a mixture of keeping quiet and outwardly

ignoring this guy, or leave. And I think there are a lot of online

places out there where this is the reality for sensitive people. We

get kind of spoilt, not that it's wrong at all, on AC forums where

respect is a prerequisite of being able to remain in a community/on a

list. Unfortunately in the NT world lots of places aren't like that.

All I can advise is either try this keeping your head down and keeping

quiet, or ask other ACs what games and groups they have found

friendly, and try those. I'm not into games so can't help with that.

HTH,

Ruth

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

>

> Yes, pretty awful, and I understand why using foul language offends

> you so much because I'm the same. I'm on a (NT) forum where one

> person in particular posts offensively, and others have said they

> enjoy his posts, like he's to be admired for being so daring or

> something. And these aren't kids. He's had a go at me several times,

> nastily and belittling me. People did stand up for me in a big way

> those times, but then he said they were ganging up on him, and I was

> stirring up trouble. A couple of others backed him up on this.

>

> Now I just try not to rock the boat with him at all. I hate it.

> There are times he says awful things, including recently some dreadful

> things about autistic people and personality disordered people. He

> doesn't know I'm autistic, just thinks I'm OTT on political

> correctness. If he knew he'd slam me for it.

He sounds like a mega jerk. I'd just not read his posts at all, or killfile

him, so you'll never see his posts.

>

> Anyway, the point of this is that if I want to hang out on that forum

> I have to keep my head down a lot. I think it's wrong, really wrong,

> but the choice is to perform a mixture of keeping quiet and outwardly

> ignoring this guy, or leave.

There's almost always one person on any group who will ruin things for

someone. See my advice above. The guy is a bully and doesn't deserve a reply

to his insults.

And I think there are a lot of online

> places out there where this is the reality for sensitive people. We

> get kind of spoilt, not that it's wrong at all, on AC forums where

> respect is a prerequisite of being able to remain in a community/on a

> list. Unfortunately in the NT world lots of places aren't like that.

True. But I've found it much easier dealing with bullies on-line than in

'real' life.

D.

[Guest guest]

2008/12/7 Delila :

He sounds like a mega jerk. I'd just not read his posts at all, or killfile

> him, so you'll never see his posts.

Indeed, and I have him killfiled, but of course I see his posts

quoted, or simply not deleted, in others' replies to him, no to

mention one person recently tried to start a thread in praise of him.

> There's almost always one person on any group who will ruin things for

> someone. See my advice above. The guy is a bully and doesn't deserve a reply

> to his insults.

Trouble is he has a way of making you look stupid in front of others

who up to then have liked and respected you - putting a slant on what

I say that then makes some others read it differently. Some times it

is necessary just to say, that's not what I meant, or that's not on -

you can argue with my words if you like but to make me out to be the

various nasty things you do is not right.

But yes, mostly I just don't respond now. Still makes me sick

sometimes how he will continue bullying me or picking on anything he

can that I say, while when others say the same things he will be much

more civil about it, usually.

> True. But I've found it much easier dealing with bullies on-line than in

> 'real' life.

Yes, there is more control and no chance of physical threats, usually.

As a last resort you can leave and rejoin from another e-mail address

using another name.

I try not to worry too much about him - he's an a**hole and not really

my problem.

Ruth

[Guest guest]

Insist an new med if at all possible.  Stay away from yuppy stuff that only

brings you and most logical and kind hearted person like yourself missery.  Most

of those people only care about themselves and how to play the social game as

well as how  much money they can throw around!!

Subject: Help....

To: AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse

Date: Saturday, December 6, 2008, 8:11 PM

I know this is going to sound really dumb and trite, but I'm at my wits end

on how to solve this problem....one that has been going on for years, but

getting worse as my physical and mental situations worsen.

Dxed as an aspie years ago, not long after our oldest son was,, and

shortly before our second oldest was found to have adhd, along with my other

alphabet soup of other Dxs, likePTSD, severe depression and so on, ive

managed rather well online, with having friends in groups such as this, and

not felt isolated. For many years, I've had a service dog group, and felt I

was really accomplishing something there. But last summer, my husband and I

were advised that my prozac was pooping out, and to move on to something

else, before things got out of hand. I swear to you, this has been a summer

and fall in hell...main problem is that the change has worsened my

depression, made me incredibly brittle where I drop into deeper depression

along with seeming to go into a childish mode, uncontrollable crying,

wanting childish things, and fearing my kids and their normal quarreling. It

also seemes to have been eroding my memory, concentration on many things,

abilties (I used to be a fast typist, and good speller...this post is taking

forever, and I'm having to go back and correct things the spellcheck cant

figure out.). All of this since going off prozac. I am scared that one day

this will overcome me, in one of the childish periods, and ill OD on

something so I can 'sleep, and never wake up' to get away from the fears,

and screams of the kids.

What I have done for many, many years is play video games, to distance

myself from the fear. Last year,I discovered nintendo's animal crossing

game, that lets you 'visit' friends towns, and was in a great group of

ladies who play this togetyer. But with computer problems, I cant do this

now, and came across an online game called 'wonderland online.' great game!

You have an anime character, you have your own house, pets, build things for

your house, learn to travel around the world and protect yourself with your

pets help, and meet other people playing the game too. I was having so much

fun....till recently. I was in a 'guild' in the game, where we were together

to help with quests, defend a castle and all kinds of neat things. But

suddenly, it fell apart. Part of it was because the coowers have filthy

mouths, and most of the players of the game are children, despite the fact

that its supposed to be 18 and over only. And the things they said and

posted were not just against the rules, but the kids in the group followed

the example of the adult leaders, and were beginning to talk like them. I

asked and askd for them to stop, they would just blow me off. Finally I

reported them, and though it was supposed to have been where no one knew,

someone told them I had reported, and I got thrown out, and now all of them

hate me. I know I have problems with memory, and told them that I have

physical and mental situations that are making it worse, making me forget,

and asked their patience with me for it, to tell me when I forgot something,

so I could fix it,etc. A few days a go, a friend made me think I could come

back....this is the result of my asking to come back home:

http://forum. wl.igg.com/ viewthread. php?tid=27586 & extra=page% 3D1

(oh, and my ingame name, while in their group, was Allegra. Now, on another

server, my character is SeaStar)

Here is what I need help with....this keeps happning to me, over and over,

and I am so afraid now to even hope to have a friend....no matter what the

groups focus is, or game or whatever, I wind up with them banning me, and I

don't know why, and it tears me up. This hurt was most recent, but the worst

was in a group about racehorses, which I have loved since a kid. When the

mare EightBelles broke her ankles in the Kentucky Derby, I was devastated,

because it was yet another instance of a horse overmedicated, overraced at

too early an age,with all the signs of other problems in the TB industry. I

was horribly worried it was going to happen again in the other two Triple

Crown races, because of how hard the push they horses...thank God it didn't

but because I was not talking about how great it was that they could use

meds and whatever to 'keep the horses going', and otherwise talking like the

TB industry was at that time, I was thrown out, and IP banned. Why???

Nothing I said was anything that isnt said now, or hasnt been known for as

long as TBs have been raced-anything other than oats, hay, water, and

sensible care will get you nothing but a weak horse that can run only a

handful of races before he breakes down or has to be retired. But I got

banned for that.

My health has now made me house bound- I can walk around the house, but that

s about it, because of where we live in a hilly part of town, I cant go for

walks, etc. So my life is pretty much what I find online... And it hurts so

much to make and lose friends every 3-4 months.... What can I do? My friends

mean so much to me, in games, I go out of my way to be helpful and do more

than is asked, to try to offset my social idiocy. But its getting worse, and

the stress is also causing erosion of my mind...I'm taking a big risk, I

feel, just writing this to youall. But I need, need help on what to do,

before its too much for me

Gail

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

>

> Indeed, and I have him killfiled, but of course I see his posts

> quoted, or simply not deleted, in others' replies to him,

True, but maybe you can force yourself to not read what he wrote.

no to

> mention one person recently tried to start a thread in praise of him.

It never ceases to amaze me how childish so many adults are. I'd killfile

that person, too.

> Trouble is he has a way of making you look stupid in front of others

I know how that goes...

> who up to then have liked and respected you - putting a slant on what

> I say that then makes some others read it differently.

They're probably smart enough to know what you meant and know he's just

trying to get a reaction from you. Bullies are like that.

Some times it

> is necessary just to say, that's not what I meant, or that's not on -

> you can argue with my words if you like but to make me out to be the

> various nasty things you do is not right.

As soon as someone starts to hurl irrelevancies and insults, he's already

lost the argument. He is childish and petty. I bet he's not like that in

real life.

>

> But yes, mostly I just don't respond now. Still makes me sick

> sometimes how he will continue bullying me or picking on anything he

> can that I say, while when others say the same things he will be much

> more civil about it, usually.

Again, I can relate. He just dispises you for some imaginative reason, so

anything from you is fair game to him for kicking around. Don't be his

soccer ball.

> Yes, there is more control and no chance of physical threats, usually.

If physical threats are made you can report him to the police. Making

cyber-threads is illegal.

> As a last resort you can leave and rejoin from another e-mail address

> using another name.

Why should you have to leave a group you otherwise like because of one anus.

Even if you do what you said above, they'll figure out soon enough that it's

you.

>

> I try not to worry too much about him - he's an a**hole and not really

> my problem.

There you go. BTW, I replied as I read, so I didn't read this sentence until

after I'd written mine above.

D.

[Guest guest]

I did that on the main AC group here for Larry, who seemed to go out of his

way to hassle me, and be contrary. I just had my mail set to delete him from

the server. But when you are in a game online, especially when the ones

harassing you are the guild leaders. At the moment, I don't really know what

I'm going to do about Wonderland....I did find another game, that has

breathtakingly beautiful graphics, called 'Perfect World " , that has even my

husband interested in playing. Its a lot harder to play than Wonderland,

needing to be played with the keyboard, and mouse, but the elves look like

angels! So beautiful....now if I can just find some decent clothes for the

girls.....*wry grin*

Gail

-- Re: Help....

2008/12/7 Delila :

He sounds like a mega jerk. I'd just not read his posts at all, or killfile

> him, so you'll never see his posts.

Indeed, and I have him killfiled, but of course I see his posts

quoted, or simply not deleted, in others' replies to him, no to

mention one person recently tried to start a thread in praise of him.

> There's almost always one person on any group who will ruin things for

> someone. See my advice above. The guy is a bully and doesn't deserve a

reply

> to his insults.

Trouble is he has a way of making you look stupid in front of others

who up to then have liked and respected you - putting a slant on what

I say that then makes some others read it differently. Some times it

is necessary just to say, that's not what I meant, or that's not on -

you can argue with my words if you like but to make me out to be the

various nasty things you do is not right.

But yes, mostly I just don't respond now. Still makes me sick

sometimes how he will continue bullying me or picking on anything he

can that I say, while when others say the same things he will be much

more civil about it, usually.

> True. But I've found it much easier dealing with bullies on-line than in

> 'real' life.

Yes, there is more control and no chance of physical threats, usually.

As a last resort you can leave and rejoin from another e-mail address

using another name.

I try not to worry too much about him - he's an a**hole and not really

my problem.

Ruth

------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

I think I have go to back to prozac...I was on that for about 12 years, and

went off it because my temper started getting out of hand. But it is much

easier for me to handle that than what is happening now. Though the

situation that happened in Wonderland would have still had me destroyed

Gail

-- Help....

To: AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse

Date: Saturday, December 6, 2008, 8:11 PM

I know this is going to sound really dumb and trite, but I'm at my wits end

on how to solve this problem....one that has been going on for years, but

getting worse as my physical and mental situations worsen.

Dxed as an aspie years ago, not long after our oldest son was,, and

shortly before our second oldest was found to have adhd, along with my other

alphabet soup of other Dxs, likePTSD, severe depression and so on, ive

managed rather well online, with having friends in groups such as this, and

not felt isolated. For many years, I've had a service dog group, and felt I

was really accomplishing something there. But last summer, my husband and I

were advised that my prozac was pooping out, and to move on to something

else, before things got out of hand. I swear to you, this has been a summer

and fall in hell...main problem is that the change has worsened my

depression, made me incredibly brittle where I drop into deeper depression

along with seeming to go into a childish mode, uncontrollable crying,

wanting childish things, and fearing my kids and their normal quarreling. It

also seemes to have been eroding my memory, concentration on many things,

abilties (I used to be a fast typist, and good speller...this post is taking

forever, and I'm having to go back and correct things the spellcheck cant

figure out.). All of this since going off prozac. I am scared that one day

this will overcome me, in one of the childish periods, and ill OD on

something so I can 'sleep, and never wake up' to get away from the fears,

and screams of the kids.

What I have done for many, many years is play video games, to distance

myself from the fear. Last year,I discovered nintendo's animal crossing

game, that lets you 'visit' friends towns, and was in a great group of

ladies who play this togetyer. But with computer problems, I cant do this

now, and came across an online game called 'wonderland online.' great game!

You have an anime character, you have your own house, pets, build things for

your house, learn to travel around the world and protect yourself with your

pets help, and meet other people playing the game too. I was having so much

fun....till recently. I was in a 'guild' in the game, where we were together

to help with quests, defend a castle and all kinds of neat things. But

suddenly, it fell apart. Part of it was because the coowers have filthy

mouths, and most of the players of the game are children, despite the fact

that its supposed to be 18 and over only. And the things they said and

posted were not just against the rules, but the kids in the group followed

the example of the adult leaders, and were beginning to talk like them. I

asked and askd for them to stop, they would just blow me off. Finally I

reported them, and though it was supposed to have been where no one knew,

someone told them I had reported, and I got thrown out, and now all of them

hate me. I know I have problems with memory, and told them that I have

physical and mental situations that are making it worse, making me forget,

and asked their patience with me for it, to tell me when I forgot something,

so I could fix it,etc. A few days a go, a friend made me think I could come

back....this is the result of my asking to come back home:

http://forum. wl.igg.com/ viewthread. php?tid=27586 & extra=page% 3D1

(oh, and my ingame name, while in their group, was Allegra. Now, on another

server, my character is SeaStar)

Here is what I need help with....this keeps happning to me, over and over,

and I am so afraid now to even hope to have a friend....no matter what the

groups focus is, or game or whatever, I wind up with them banning me, and I

don't know why, and it tears me up. This hurt was most recent, but the worst

was in a group about racehorses, which I have loved since a kid. When the

mare EightBelles broke her ankles in the Kentucky Derby, I was devastated,

because it was yet another instance of a horse overmedicated, overraced at

too early an age,with all the signs of other problems in the TB industry. I

was horribly worried it was going to happen again in the other two Triple

Crown races, because of how hard the push they horses...thank God it didn't

but because I was not talking about how great it was that they could use

meds and whatever to 'keep the horses going', and otherwise talking like the

TB industry was at that time, I was thrown out, and IP banned. Why???

Nothing I said was anything that isnt said now, or hasnt been known for as

long as TBs have been raced-anything other than oats, hay, water, and

sensible care will get you nothing but a weak horse that can run only a

handful of races before he breakes down or has to be retired. But I got

banned for that.

My health has now made me house bound- I can walk around the house, but that

s about it, because of where we live in a hilly part of town, I cant go for

walks, etc. So my life is pretty much what I find online... And it hurts so

much to make and lose friends every 3-4 months.... What can I do? My friends

mean so much to me, in games, I go out of my way to be helpful and do more

than is asked, to try to offset my social idiocy. But its getting worse, and

the stress is also causing erosion of my mind...I'm taking a big risk, I

feel, just writing this to youall. But I need, need help on what to do,

before its too much for me

Gail

[Guest guest]

Hi Gail- Sorry you have been having such a rotten time lately...

I'm not into gaming, so can't totally relate to your situation- although I know

what it's like to be dumped by friends when you don't know why: I've had that

happen plenty of times before too. I tend to just retreat from them- I'm to

proud to crawl! I just think ' well- sod them then!!' Some people just seem to

enjoy the power of messing with other people's feelings.

I've found Facebook's groups (Adults with Asperger's & Blazing the Aspie Trail)

Very good- Supportive & friendly. Lots of nice people and interesting

discussions/ no slagging or nastiness. Also, I don't know if you know of the

site 'Daily Strength'? That has an Aspie group too- and is great for when you're

having a bad time and need some sympathy, and a moan. Give them a try, I'd say!!

Good Luck- and hope you meet some nice people soon!

Ana

xx

________________________________

To: AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse

Sent: Sunday, 7 December, 2008 2:11:36

Subject: Help....

I know this is going to sound really dumb and trite, but I'm at my wits end

on how to solve this problem....one that has been going on for years, but

getting worse as my physical and mental situations worsen.

Dxed as an aspie years ago, not long after our oldest son was,, and

shortly before our second oldest was found to have adhd, along with my other

alphabet soup of other Dxs, likePTSD, severe depression and so on, ive

managed rather well online, with having friends in groups such as this, and

not felt isolated. For many years, I've had a service dog group, and felt I

was really accomplishing something there. But last summer, my husband and I

were advised that my prozac was pooping out, and to move on to something

else, before things got out of hand. I swear to you, this has been a summer

and fall in hell...main problem is that the change has worsened my

depression, made me incredibly brittle where I drop into deeper depression

along with seeming to go into a childish mode, uncontrollable crying,

wanting childish things, and fearing my kids and their normal quarreling. It

also seemes to have been eroding my memory, concentration on many things,

abilties (I used to be a fast typist, and good speller...this post is taking

forever, and I'm having to go back and correct things the spellcheck cant

figure out.). All of this since going off prozac. I am scared that one day

this will overcome me, in one of the childish periods, and ill OD on

something so I can 'sleep, and never wake up' to get away from the fears,

and screams of the kids.

What I have done for many, many years is play video games, to distance

myself from the fear. Last year,I discovered nintendo's animal crossing

game, that lets you 'visit' friends towns, and was in a great group of

ladies who play this togetyer. But with computer problems, I cant do this

now, and came across an online game called 'wonderland online.' great game!

You have an anime character, you have your own house, pets, build things for

your house, learn to travel around the world and protect yourself with your

pets help, and meet other people playing the game too. I was having so much

fun....till recently. I was in a 'guild' in the game, where we were together

to help with quests, defend a castle and all kinds of neat things. But

suddenly, it fell apart. Part of it was because the coowers have filthy

mouths, and most of the players of the game are children, despite the fact

that its supposed to be 18 and over only. And the things they said and

posted were not just against the rules, but the kids in the group followed

the example of the adult leaders, and were beginning to talk like them. I

asked and askd for them to stop, they would just blow me off. Finally I

reported them, and though it was supposed to have been where no one knew,

someone told them I had reported, and I got thrown out, and now all of them

hate me. I know I have problems with memory, and told them that I have

physical and mental situations that are making it worse, making me forget,

and asked their patience with me for it, to tell me when I forgot something,

so I could fix it,etc. A few days a go, a friend made me think I could come

back....this is the result of my asking to come back home:

http://forum. wl.igg.com/ viewthread. php?tid=27586 & extra=page% 3D1

(oh, and my ingame name, while in their group, was Allegra. Now, on another

server, my character is SeaStar)

Here is what I need help with....this keeps happning to me, over and over,

and I am so afraid now to even hope to have a friend....no matter what the

groups focus is, or game or whatever, I wind up with them banning me, and I

don't know why, and it tears me up. This hurt was most recent, but the worst

was in a group about racehorses, which I have loved since a kid. When the

mare EightBelles broke her ankles in the Kentucky Derby, I was devastated,

because it was yet another instance of a horse overmedicated, overraced at

too early an age,with all the signs of other problems in the TB industry. I

was horribly worried it was going to happen again in the other two Triple

Crown races, because of how hard the push they horses...thank God it didn't

but because I was not talking about how great it was that they could use

meds and whatever to 'keep the horses going', and otherwise talking like the

TB industry was at that time, I was thrown out, and IP banned. Why???

Nothing I said was anything that isnt said now, or hasnt been known for as

long as TBs have been raced-anything other than oats, hay, water, and

sensible care will get you nothing but a weak horse that can run only a

handful of races before he breakes down or has to be retired. But I got

banned for that.

My health has now made me house bound- I can walk around the house, but that

s about it, because of where we live in a hilly part of town, I cant go for

walks, etc. So my life is pretty much what I find online... And it hurts so

much to make and lose friends every 3-4 months.... What can I do? My friends

mean so much to me, in games, I go out of my way to be helpful and do more

than is asked, to try to offset my social idiocy. But its getting worse, and

the stress is also causing erosion of my mind...I'm taking a big risk, I

feel, just writing this to youall. But I need, need help on what to do,

before its too much for me

Gail

[Guest guest]

People can be very mean in online forums. RPG's seem to be the worst. I was

hooked on something like that for a while, then they started talking about

killing someone in real life! When I objected, they all turned on me. Since

that forum was, at the time, the sum total of my social interactoin, it hit me

pretty hard, and i wound up hospitalized.

Here are some suggestions - drop that forum, and look for places where you can

make real contributions online. You may be an expert at something or other and

you can answer a lot of quetsoins about it on Yahooo Answers. that way you can

be engaged with people over something real and they will appreciate you. I hear

wrongplanet.com is another good place online but I havn't checked that out

personally.

We tend to take things very literaly and seriously and NT's don't understand

that. Foul language bothers me very much because I interpret these words

according to their literal meaning. For example if someone says " s..t " I think

of excrement; if somoene says " d..n " I think of calling upon the Higher Power to

hurt someone; etc. Most people don't seem to think of these bad words literally

according to their meanning, so they use these words casually. But it's

something about us spectrumites, we say what we mean, mean what we say, and

expect others to do likewise.

I hope things get better for you - Joni

PASS IT ON!

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Margaret Mead said, " Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed

citizens can change the world: Indeed it's the only thing that ever has. "

[Guest guest]

Yes, when I'm hurt like that, I do tend to leave, after having stated my

position I leave. And cry

-- Help....

I know this is going to sound really dumb and trite, but I'm at my wits end

on how to solve this problem....one that has been going on for years, but

getting worse as my physical and mental situations worsen.

Dxed as an aspie years ago, not long after our oldest son was,, and

shortly before our second oldest was found to have adhd, along with my other

alphabet soup of other Dxs, likePTSD, severe depression and so on, ive

managed rather well online, with having friends in groups such as this, and

not felt isolated. For many years, I've had a service dog group, and felt I

was really accomplishing something there. But last summer, my husband and I

were advised that my prozac was pooping out, and to move on to something

else, before things got out of hand. I swear to you, this has been a summer

and fall in hell...main problem is that the change has worsened my

depression, made me incredibly brittle where I drop into deeper depression

along with seeming to go into a childish mode, uncontrollable crying,

wanting childish things, and fearing my kids and their normal quarreling. It

also seemes to have been eroding my memory, concentration on many things,

abilties (I used to be a fast typist, and good speller...this post is taking

forever, and I'm having to go back and correct things the spellcheck cant

figure out.). All of this since going off prozac. I am scared that one day

this will overcome me, in one of the childish periods, and ill OD on

something so I can 'sleep, and never wake up' to get away from the fears,

and screams of the kids.

What I have done for many, many years is play video games, to distance

myself from the fear. Last year,I discovered nintendo's animal crossing

game, that lets you 'visit' friends towns, and was in a great group of

ladies who play this togetyer. But with computer problems, I cant do this

now, and came across an online game called 'wonderland online.' great game!

You have an anime character, you have your own house, pets, build things for

your house, learn to travel around the world and protect yourself with your

pets help, and meet other people playing the game too. I was having so much

fun....till recently. I was in a 'guild' in the game, where we were together

to help with quests, defend a castle and all kinds of neat things. But

suddenly, it fell apart. Part of it was because the coowers have filthy

mouths, and most of the players of the game are children, despite the fact

that its supposed to be 18 and over only. And the things they said and

posted were not just against the rules, but the kids in the group followed

the example of the adult leaders, and were beginning to talk like them. I

asked and askd for them to stop, they would just blow me off. Finally I

reported them, and though it was supposed to have been where no one knew,

someone told them I had reported, and I got thrown out, and now all of them

hate me. I know I have problems with memory, and told them that I have

physical and mental situations that are making it worse, making me forget,

and asked their patience with me for it, to tell me when I forgot something,

so I could fix it,etc. A few days a go, a friend made me think I could come

back....this is the result of my asking to come back home:

http://forum. wl.igg.com/ viewthread. php?tid=27586 & extra=page% 3D1

(oh, and my ingame name, while in their group, was Allegra. Now, on another

server, my character is SeaStar)

Here is what I need help with....this keeps happning to me, over and over,

and I am so afraid now to even hope to have a friend....no matter what the

groups focus is, or game or whatever, I wind up with them banning me, and I

don't know why, and it tears me up. This hurt was most recent, but the worst

was in a group about racehorses, which I have loved since a kid. When the

mare EightBelles broke her ankles in the Kentucky Derby, I was devastated,

because it was yet another instance of a horse overmedicated, overraced at

too early an age,with all the signs of other problems in the TB industry. I

was horribly worried it was going to happen again in the other two Triple

Crown races, because of how hard the push they horses...thank God it didn't

but because I was not talking about how great it was that they could use

meds and whatever to 'keep the horses going', and otherwise talking like the

TB industry was at that time, I was thrown out, and IP banned. Why???

Nothing I said was anything that isnt said now, or hasnt been known for as

long as TBs have been raced-anything other than oats, hay, water, and

sensible care will get you nothing but a weak horse that can run only a

handful of races before he breakes down or has to be retired. But I got

banned for that.

My health has now made me house bound- I can walk around the house, but that

s about it, because of where we live in a hilly part of town, I cant go for

walks, etc. So my life is pretty much what I find online... And it hurts so

much to make and lose friends every 3-4 months.... What can I do? My friends

mean so much to me, in games, I go out of my way to be helpful and do more

than is asked, to try to offset my social idiocy. But its getting worse, and

the stress is also causing erosion of my mind...I'm taking a big risk, I

feel, just writing this to youall. But I need, need help on what to do,

before its too much for me

Gail

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/8/2008 4:53:28 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

mccann_ana@... writes:

I've found Facebook's groups (Adults with Asperger's & Blazing the Aspie

Trail) Very good- Supportive & friendly.

How do you find these/join these. I have a facebook.

**************One site keeps you connected to all your email: AOL Mail,

Gmail, and Yahoo Mail. Try it now.

(http://www.aol.com/?optin=new-dp & icid=aolcom40vanity & ncid=emlcntaolcom00000025)

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Just log yourself in to Facebook, and search groups (on your home page- r.hand

side) for 'Asperger's' or Autism, then find these and join!

NB: There are some rubbish Autism groups too- and some 'hate' autism ones, so

watch out...

The two I've mentioned are lovely groups though....

________________________________

To: AutisticSpectrumTreeHouse

Sent: Friday, 19 December, 2008 3:42:30

Subject: Re: Help....

In a message dated 12/8/2008 4:53:28 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

mccann_anayahoo (DOT) co.uk writes:

I've found Facebook's groups (Adults with Asperger's & Blazing the Aspie

Trail) Very good- Supportive & friendly.

How do you find these/join these. I have a facebook.

************ **One site keeps you connected to all your email: AOL Mail,

Gmail, and Yahoo Mail. Try it now.

(http://www.aol. com/?optin= new-dp & icid= aolcom40vanity & ncid=emlcntaolco

m00000025)