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Re: Update on my Dad

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Hi Ellen from Cleveland

I too took a break from my heart break with mom for a few days only To see

her yesterday looking a bit worse _ still so removed - your post today has me

weeping since mom does not speak anymore - so reading what your dad says hurts

me because it highlights what mom must be thinking bit can't being

The words out !!! I am not sure sometimes if is better to spend more time with

her or to skip days - either way - even with children and grandchildren in town

- just the thought of mom can bring me to weeping - also the home health care

angels are sounding rather grim now as she is refusing to eat hard foods but

even the soft foods she is eating just a few spoonfuls and then doesn't want

more

The pain of watching her is so deep!!! Ellen I

Agree that god does have some explaining to do!!!

Best,

Judy

Judy R. Strauss LMSW PhD

Lead Faculty

University of Phoenix

Jersey City Campus

100 Town Square Place

|Jersey City, NJ 07310

Direct Cell-

Email- Jrstr@...

> I've been catching up on this week's LBD e-mails. It's hard to read some of

them through the tears! Beautiful thoughts this week...

> My Dad recently had a bad bout of constipation and " stomach ache " from that.

He refused to eat or get out of bed for a couple of days. He looked terrible. He

got through it, but you know how most of our loved ones never come back to the

place they were before. I think he thought it was the end of him, and now he's

mentioning death, which he seldom did before. " I know I'll be here for the rest

of my days... " " I can't live the rest of my days without my glasses! " (He popped

out the lens again.) He even told me he " scared the hospice nurse to death " ! I

doubt that, but it seems she was very concerned.

> But then he keeps begging me for some glue and a model airplane so he can do

" something useful. " I cannot imagine what torture it must be to be confined to

one chair with mostly the TV for company, to not always be sure where you are,

to be hurting, and to know there's no way out except death.

> He and I are believers in God, but what I say is, God has some explaining to

do!

> Ellen in Cleveland

>

>

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I feel for your pain. Mom (81) started with hospice this week and yesterday we

had a big scare as she was totally unresponsive, shallow intermittent breathing

and hands, feet and lips purple. With massage lying down her color returned but

her pulse and bp were all over the place and she remained unresponsive. She

slept for 2 hours ( a short nap for her) and woke up alert and able to speak a

bit and ate a little dinner. Every episode sends adrenaline surging for me and

I realize how afraid I am despite hoping Mom's suffering will not be prolonged.

Sent from my iPhone

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Dear Ellen,

I, too, am catching up on emails that I haven't been able to read in a few

days...

I share your last thought when I think about my Mom, who has been through so

much in her life... God has some explaining to do!!!

Sending you strength,

Helene in NY

(Mom 77, about 11 years with lbd)

>

> I've been catching up on this week's LBD e-mails. It's hard to read some of

them through the tears! Beautiful thoughts this week...

> My Dad recently had a bad bout of constipation and " stomach ache " from that.

He refused to eat or get out of bed for a couple of days. He looked terrible. He

got through it, but you know how most of our loved ones never come back to the

place they were before. I think he thought it was the end of him, and now he's

mentioning death, which he seldom did before. " I know I'll be here for the rest

of my days... " " I can't live the rest of my days without my glasses! " (He popped

out the lens again.) He even told me he " scared the hospice nurse to death " ! I

doubt that, but it seems she was very concerned.

> But then he keeps begging me for some glue and a model airplane so he can do

" something useful. " I cannot imagine what torture it must be to be confined to

one chair with mostly the TV for company, to not always be sure where you are,

to be hurting, and to know there's no way out except death.

> He and I are believers in God, but what I say is, God has some explaining to

do!

> Ellen in Cleveland

>

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