Who do your parents seperate?

[Guest guest]

Hello,

It has been a while since I last posted. I have been spending a lot of

time on the other WTO sites and reading here too.

I am NOT an adult child of, but my kids are teens (14 & 17) children

of a BPD mom. I am to the point of giving up trying to get her to

understand that she needs help, that we (me & Kids) are not the sole

problems in the household. I have been working on a " plan " to leave

for a few months now.

I had got great advice on here a while back about how to tell kids

that " something is wrong with mom " which they were well aware of. I

went into a little more detail without telling them that I thought it

was pretty much hopeless.........things have been getting worse by the

week as she looses more control over thier decisions and I get

stronger and set more boundries and defend them when apropriate (and

support wife when appropriate too).

What I am wondering is how those of you whos parents have seperated or

divorced would recommend telling the kids that it has come down to

this. I feel I should talk to them first and fill them in on " the

plan " of where we would go etc... and let it set in for a week or so.

But at other times I would feel better if I told my wife " I cant stay

if you wont work on things " .........she would say " F* & ^ you leave

then " and I could tell the girls that " mom said she didnt want to try

anymore " . But I also know that that is the coward in me wanting to not

look like the bad guy. I really think in the long run that they will

thank me for giving then a normal place to finish growing up.

How did it happen in your households, and what would you recommend for

bieng the best way to go about it, and also what NOT to do.

Thanks so much,

DKC