Depakote

[Guest guest]

My 87 year old mother was diagnosed with LBD in April, we moved her to be with

me, her daughter in May. I have the most time of all of my 8 siblings. I dearly

love my mother and want to do what is the best for her. I was working to clear

the hurdles of changing insurance policies (as she was disenrolled from hers due

to the move to a new state), finding a primary care physician and team (our

initial appointment was for August 17) and obtaining power of attorney in order

that we my be able to begin to use her long term care insurance benefit for home

health care and companionship. All of this was a tedious process in all the ways

I've been reading about through posts on this site.

My mother fell on Sunday, seemingly fine until Wednesday when she reported

dizzyness. As it turns out, she has fractured the dens, or odontoid process on

C2 vertebrae and why she is still alive, who knows.

She spent two terrible days in a comprehensive care unit and is still in the

hospital, now on the neurology floor and doing much better. She is walking about

in a cervical collar after the family and Mom and doctor (in consensus for once)

opted out of the halo.

She is being seen by a neurosurgeon who is very forthcoming about the

inevitability of her death with another fall, provides detailed information and

very willing to work with us on the spine issues as we decide upon whether or to

she should have surgery to insert a screw. This may buy a little time. I debate,

as many of you debate in your heart, is additional time what she needs given the

long slow prognosis for her Lewy Body Dementia?

She was also assigned, in the absence of a primary care physician, a

hospitalist. He had orders written to begin her on Aricept and Depakote last

night. I had no idea, and neither did my sister, who had spoken with him

yesterday (I did not meet him until today) regarding his intentions. I thought

we'd begin the medications when we weren't dealing with a broken neck and all of

these other issues. His reasoning is, why wait? He claims that he did speak of

it with my sister, although her understanding of it was not the same as his.

I am quite confused trying to muddle through all of this process. I don't object

to starting the Aricept now. I would like to learn more about the purpose of the

Depakote. My mother is not yet agitated and combative, and as you all know, can

be very cognizant on her good days and during show time.

After a long day (after a very short night) of dealing with this issue, I am at

a loss. My mother, who seemed to be unaware of this as it was unfolding said

with the most clarity she has had since the fall said, " The very worst part of

all of this is that everybody stands around arguing about what should happen to

me and they don't know what they are talking about. If they want to know they

should ask me. " I immediately told her that she was absolutely correct. I

started with " Mom, I need YOU to tell me what choices you would make. First we

need to make a decision whether or not you begin taking a medication that could

improve your dementia symptoms but may have some side effects, like diarrhea " . I

was really hoping that just providing two choices, reasonably clear cut, would

elicit a response, and then she fell asleep, that kind of sleep that seems like

her brain just hit sensory overload and turned off temporarily.

Anyway, I'd like to buy some time on the depakote issue and learn more about it.

What are my rights in asking them to please wait on the medication? I now have

durable power of attorney but her medical power of attorney is a sister in

California from a document drawn up in 2005. A brother in Arizona is next in

line. I'm in Colorado

By the way, these doctors prefer to stand beside her hospital bed and speak of

her time left and the expectation that she will fall and break something, if not

her neck soon. How do I politely ask them to consider being kinder if not

gentler in their presentation of this information to her?