thought this was kind of cute, got from another list

[Guest guest]

Please read the notes left on my pillow while I had the flu recently.

Monday A.M.

Dearest: Sleep late. Everything under control. Lunches packed.

Kids off to school. Menu for dinner planned. Your lunch is on a

tray in refrigerator: fruit cup, finger-sandwiches. Thermos of hot

tea by bedside. See you around six.

Tuesday A.M.

Honey: Sorry about the egg rack in the refrigerator. Hope you got

back to sleep. Did the kids tell you about the Coke I put in the

Thermoses? The school might call you on this. Dinner may be a

little late. I'm doing your door-to-door canvas for liver research.

Your lunch is in refrigerator. Hope you like leftover chili.

Wednesday A.M.

Dear Doris: Why in the name of all that is sane would you put soap

powder in the flour canister! If you have time, could you please

come up with a likely spot for Chris's missing shoes? We've checked

the clothes hamper, garage, back seat of the car and wood box. Did

you know the school has a ruling on bedroom slippers? There's some

cold pizza for you on a napkin in the oven drawer. Will be late

tonight. Driving eight Girl Scouts to tour meatpacking house.

Thursday A.M.

Doris: Don't panic over water in hallway. It crested last night at 9

P.M. Will finish laundry tonight. Please pencil in answers to

following:

1. How do you turn on the garbage disposal?

2. Why would that rotten kid leave his shoes in his boots?

3. How do you remove a Confederate flag inked on the palm of a small

boy's hand?

4. What do you do with leftovers when they begin to snap at you when

you open the door?

I don't know what you're having for lunch! Surprise me!

Friday A.M.

Hey: Don't drink from pitcher by the sink. Am trying to restore pink

dress shirt to original white. Take heart. Tonight, the ironing

will be folded, the house cleaned and the dinner on time...I called

your mother