Re: Re: New York Times piece about sex after prostate surgery (Question for Laurel)

[Guest guest]

> My last visit to my Urologist didn't go so well. He asked me do I

> have a sex life and I told him I do not at this time, and haven't in

> about two years. I may already have toached on this before but with

> my brain spinning, I just don't know. This is the day that I dreaded.

> This was the day I was suppose to come to a decision.

It does not appear that Bob made a decision.

(snip)

I will never understand those men who seem to believe that loss of the

sexual life they have known is somehow, in some way, the end of life as

they know it. It is not.

After treatment (tx) sex will likely be different, but will not

inevitably be ended.

And what if one is unable to achieve an erection? Well, OK, what then?

Does Bob know that an orgasm can be achieved without an erection? Does

he know how to please his lady without an erection? Information is

available.

(snip)

> If I am say 50/50 it may just be a coin toss for me. Anything less

> that that I will " ride this monster out " .

Does that mean decline treatment? Does Bob understand the likely horror

of the consequence?

(snip info re: rising PSA)

> But it has been the last four that it has gone wild.

> Everytime I think about surgery all I can see is a coffin.

Surgery might not be the only option. Bob should bear in mind that he is

dealing with a urologist, who is at best a surgeon. Surgery is how he

pays his overhead.

Is surgery the wrong tx? I have no idea. But Bob can, if he will, learn

and make his decision.

Objective, encyclopedic and reliable information is available on the

website of the Prostate Cancer Research Institute (PCRI) at:

http://prostate-cancer.org/index.html

A good place to start is the section " Newly Diagnosed. "

And consultation with a genuine cancer specialist, an oncologist

(preferably one trained in tx of PCa) could give Bob vital information

that will help him to decide.

> Yes I am a card-carrying, born again pessimist.

Some say the pessimist is simply being the realist. I'd agree if and

only if that party had all the facts at hand. Otherwise, he's just

hiding his head in hope that the world will pass him by.

As Mark Twain wrote in Pudd'nhead :

" It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a

man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal,

complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it. "

(snip)

> Sorry to bother you but I just don't have the money to fly everywhere

> seeking a cure.

I regret to say that I don't find that persuasive. Does Bob perhaps have

enough money to enrich his heirs after his PCa kills him?

> In my mind is have a psa test each year or sooner,

> and if it goes above 4.0 get the bi-op. He said I am curable at this

> stage, but WHY DO I STILL THINK I CAN OUTLAST IT?

Answer: Just maybe because Bob does not understand the nature and scope

of his situation.

The solution lies in education. The above-referenced website is a good

start. Another source of reliable information is the best PCa text, _A

Primer on Prostate Cancer_ 2nd ed., subtitled " The Empowered Patient's

Guide " by medical oncologist and PCa specialist B. Strum, MD and

PCa warrior Donna Pogliano. It is available from the PCRI website and

the like, as well as Amazon (30+ five-star reviews), & Noble, and

bookstores. A lifesaver, as I very well know.

Bob and I and every one of us is dealing as best we can with Mama

Nature, red of tooth and claw. She never forgives mistakes, however

innocent.

Regards,

Steve J