Guest guest Posted July 12, 2006 Report Share Posted July 12, 2006 *I would also like to add that my dear hubby is around A LOT of women on a regular basis, and anytime women mention getting implants he does try to talk them out of it and tells them about poisoning and other expenses they don't consider. (I forgot to add that in my post.) He does get a lot of points for that. Plus despite his short comings where support is concerned, he IS very good to me otherwise. As for your words, Rogene --- you are SO wise!!! Everything you said is right on. Dr. Phil has nothing on you...You need your own show!!! LOL I'd watch it!!! In a message dated 7/11/2006 11:05:05 PM Eastern Standard Time, saxony01@... writes: Oh Brigite . . . I'm so sorry your husband isn't there for you . . . I guess I assumed that, since you'd been sick so long, and were still married that your husband was understanding. . . So many husbands find a way to get out! At least your husband is accepting of what's going on. I can understand why you're not getting much sympathy though . . . You try not to let them see how you're suffering . . . I can understand that too . . . When I had my recent breast cancer scar, one of the worst parts of it was the attention - and worry - it brought from my friends and family! . . . I didn't like that at all! . . . I don't care to think of myself as a full time breast cancer patient, and I don't want others to think of me that way either. I had it, I dealt with it, and I've moved on. Are you on Medicaid, or Medicare? . . . I know women who have had their implants removed on both Medicaid and Medicare. I think it has a lot to do with the state though. Medicaid is administered by the state. I think it was Tennessee stopped all Medicaid coverage. I can't imagine how the poor sick there are faring! With most states, you have to have the medical services done in state for Medicaid. Sometime we need to express our needs in the form of "I feel" . . . without someone knowing how we feel, we can't expect them to understand. . . especially when we're trying to keep a stiff upper lip and not let on how much pain we're in. With my hubby, I found that, when he does something for me, I lavish him with praise! . . . He works that much harder to please me then. He often amazes me in that respect! There was one study done that found that when people first become ill, people tend to lavish attention on them . . .but that just lasts so long . .. then it's like "OK, you've had your turn at being sick. Now get well!" Unfortunately that's not always possible. I do pray you can find a way to have your implants removed! . . . There's no promise that explant would make you well, but it would relieve part of the burden on your body . . . and that should help with everything else.Hugs and prayers,Rogene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2006 Report Share Posted July 12, 2006 Oh Brigite . . . I'm so sorry your husband isn't there for you . . . I guess I assumed that, since you'd been sick so long, and were still married that your husband was understanding. . . So many husbands find a way to get out! At least your husband is accepting of what's going on. I can understand why you're not getting much sympathy though . . . You try not to let them see how you're suffering . . . I can understand that too . . . When I had my recent breast cancer scar, one of the worst parts of it was the attention - and worry - it brought from my friends and family! . . . I didn't like that at all! . . . I don't care to think of myself as a full time breast cancer patient, and I don't want others to think of me that way either. I had it, I dealt with it, and I've moved on. Are you on Medicaid, or Medicare? . . . I know women who have had their implants removed on both Medicaid and Medicare. I think it has a lot to do with the state though. Medicaid is administered by the state. I think it was Tennessee stopped all Medicaid coverage. I can't imagine how the poor sick there are faring! With most states, you have to have the medical services done in state for Medicaid. Sometime we need to express our needs in the form of "I feel" . . . without someone knowing how we feel, we can't expect them to understand. . . especially when we're trying to keep a stiff upper lip and not let on how much pain we're in. With my hubby, I found that, when he does something for me, I lavish him with praise! . . . He works that much harder to please me then. He often amazes me in that respect! There was one study done that found that when people first become ill, people tend to lavish attention on them . . .but that just lasts so long . .. then it's like "OK, you've had your turn at being sick. Now get well!" Unfortunately that's not always possible. I do pray you can find a way to have your implants removed! . . . There's no promise that explant would make you well, but it would relieve part of the burden on your body . . . and that should help with everything else.Hugs and prayers,Rogene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2006 Report Share Posted July 12, 2006 My husband did not get it, either. My best friend and my sisters got me through this, and of course my friends here at Saline Support. Sis > > > Who is your support system? Who gets you all through this? > > My husband and I have been together for 16yrs, married 9yrs. (I am 31, he is > 34.) FORTUNATELY, he's been with me long enough to know that the broken > person I am today is 100% the person illness has made me. Meaning, he knows that > before this I was never a lazy person, I worked multiple jobs - loved to make > money, exercised, watched every bite that went into my mouth -- etc. I was so > healthy, plus I looked like Pamela head to toe. (Now I look like > Roseanne. LOL!) He's been able to see everything happen and that it all started > Oct. 3, 1997 when I got implanted. He is tolerant to the things I cannot do, > and although my house stays pretty spotless, he has never complained if there > were times dirty dishes sat in the sink for days or laundry didn't get done. > (That happens sometimes... you all know how it is when your energy comes and > goes.) If there are days, or weeks, I can't fix dinner -he's happy with a > sandwich. When people say " What does your wife do for a living? " he isn't > embarrassed to say I'm disabled and that I've been sick. I can never give him kids, > so he just acts like he doesn't want any (despite that we wanted them before > I got sick)...........These are just small examples of how he is > supportive...and they mean the most. > > But, having said that, he is VERY passive in life. It's just his way. He > isn't the type of person to stand up and shout when he needs to. So, years ago > when his boss tried to keep me off their group insurance ---he let me go > uninsured for 2 years. I got little medical treatment or medications. (I didn't > have Medicare at the time, either.) This was before I was as sick - --but I will > NEVER forget it. I went through PTC onset having NO insurance. That's why it > took me so long to get a spinal tap to treat it ---I finally needed one so > bad and had lost so much vision, a doctor did it regardless of insurance. Most > men would stand up and say " WAIT JUST A MINUTE... " That's just one example of > many situations like that. He doesn't stand up for me about things like > that. He'd rather I hurt or suffer than someone else hurt, or also if it keeps > him from having to get in a confrontation with someone. In life, when something > comes down to me being put out or someone else ---he always picks me. There > again, he thinks I'm tough and that makes it OK. > > He also seems to be so used to my being sick that he forgets that it's a big > deal. For example, if his mom or sister have the sniffles he checks on them > ten times a day, " Do you need anything? Are you OK? Oh, you must really feel > horrible...you poor thing " ---but with me, he thinks I'm Wonder Woman and > that I don't need verbal support or that I don't need him to show interest in > what I'm going through. His MOM was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia which turned out > to actually just be upper body pain in her ARMS only ------GOD FORBID. I > love that he cares about his mom and sister, but he doesn't save any of that for > me. > > I have not one person in my life to stop every once in a while and say " Hey, > are you OK? How are you dealing with everything? I know it gets hard. " It's > so rare that I sit and whine or weep that people just assume I'm OK and > strong and that I don't need that. The rest assume I'm just nuts anyway, so they > don't acknowledge a health problem to ask about. > > I think he's seen me go through so much that he thinks I'm used to it and it > doesn't bother me or something ---I don't know. > > Also, something that sort of weighs heavy on me... Our yearly income is > about the lowest national average. We barely get by... so there's no affording > explant until a miracle comes along; however ---his family has money. I've > always felt that if I had CANCER or something known and money came between life > or health/death that he'd ask to borrow money. It makes me feel like the value > of my life, or the quality of it, is less than $8,000 (or how ever much)---- > since no one in our families seems to want to help. I know they don't OWE it > to me, and I'd NEVER ask ---I probably wouldn't even take it (because I hate > owing people)... but it would just be nice if someone OFFERED. If someone > made me feel like " Hey... you're worth this to us... there's no price on your > life... " But there again, people look at it like " Oh, she needs money for a > BOOB JOB... " They don't see it like a life saving surgery, or understand what > explant would mean to our health. And the kicker is ---I bend over backwards > for our family. Anytime something is asked of me (which can be often), I'm > there no matter what ----even if I have to pretend I feel fine when really I'm > dying inside. I force myself to do things for other people I can't do for > myself...then I collapse for about 12 hours when I get home, but still!!! > LOL!!!!!!!! (I'm sure most of you relate!!!) > > This board has been the first place in many years that I've been able to > talk about what I'm going through and have people understand it and know how > hard it is...and not treat me like I'm WHINING or like I'm a hypochondriac. > > I have two friends, out of many, who don't treat me like a hypochondriac... > and I withhold discussing much of this with them for fear they will quickly > think I am one. > > My family support ----forget it. They are clueless to this. I have one of > those families who are all too busy dealing with their own problems, so they > certainly don't want to hear about anyone else's. > > Any gals relating to any of this? On the flip side, I feel bad for the ones > of you who don't have the support of a loving husband. > Prayers to all, > ---Brigite > > In a message dated 7/11/2006 9:23:49 PM Eastern Standard Time, > deniseplatte@... writes: > > > > All of you are so lucky to have supportive husbands. Loving and caring. > Anyone have a difficult one, especially with the health issues? > > lv, > D > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2006 Report Share Posted July 12, 2006 GET YOUR IMPLANTS OUT! You sound so wonderful and beautiful. Save $100 a month. Do anything. KissofSadness@... wrote: Who is your support system? Who gets you all through this? My husband and I have been together for 16yrs, married 9yrs. (I am 31, he is 34.) FORTUNATELY, he's been with me long enough to know that the broken person I am today is 100% the person illness has made me. Meaning, he knows that before this I was never a lazy person, I worked multiple jobs -loved to make money, exercised, watched every bite that went into my mouth --etc. I was so healthy, plus I looked like Pamela head to toe. (Now I look like Roseanne. LOL!) He's been able to see everything happen and that it all started Oct. 3, 1997 when I got implanted. He is tolerant to the things I cannot do, and although my house stays pretty spotless, he has never complained if there were times dirty dishes sat in the sink for days or laundry didn't get done. (That happens sometimes... you all know how it is when your energy comes and goes.) If there are days, or weeks, I can't fix dinner -he's happy with a sandwich. When people say "What does your wife do for a living?" he isn't embarrassed to say I'm disabled and that I've been sick. I can never give him kids, so he just acts like he doesn't want any (despite that we wanted them before I got sick)...........These are just small examples of how he is supportive...and they mean the most. But, having said that, he is VERY passive in life. It's just his way. He isn't the type of person to stand up and shout when he needs to. So, years ago when his boss tried to keep me off their group insurance ---he let me go uninsured for 2 years. I got little medical treatment or medications. (I didn't have Medicare at the time, either.) This was before I was as sick ---but I will NEVER forget it. I went through PTC onset having NO insurance. That's why it took me so long to get a spinal tap to treat it ---I finally needed one so bad and had lost so much vision, a doctor did it regardless of insurance. Most men would stand up and say "WAIT JUST A MINUTE..." That's just one example of many situations like that. He doesn't stand up for me about things like that. He'd rather I hurt or suffer than someone else hurt, or also if it keeps him from having to get in a confrontation with someone. In life, when something comes down to me being put out or someone else ---he always picks me. There again, he thinks I'm tough and that makes it OK. He also seems to be so used to my being sick that he forgets that it's a big deal. For example, if his mom or sister have the sniffles he checks on them ten times a day, "Do you need anything? Are you OK? Oh, you must really feel horrible...you poor thing" ---but with me, he thinks I'm Wonder Woman and that I don't need verbal support or that I don't need him to show interest in what I'm going through. His MOM was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia which turned out to actually just be upper body pain in her ARMS only ------GOD FORBID. I love that he cares about his mom and sister, but he doesn't save any of that for me. I have not one person in my life to stop every once in a while and say "Hey, are you OK? How are you dealing with everything? I know it gets hard." It's so rare that I sit and whine or weep that people just assume I'm OK and strong and that I don't need that. The rest assume I'm just nuts anyway, so they don't acknowledge a health problem to ask about. I think he's seen me go through so much that he thinks I'm used to it and it doesn't bother me or something ---I don't know. Also, something that sort of weighs heavy on me... Our yearly income is about the lowest national average. We barely get by... so there's no affording explant until a miracle comes along; however ---his family has money. I've always felt that if I had CANCER or something known and money came between life or health/death that he'd ask to borrow money. It makes me feel like the value of my life, or the quality of it, is less than $8,000 (or how ever much)---- since no one in our families seems to want to help. I know they don't OWE it to me, and I'd NEVER ask ---I probably wouldn't even take it (because I hate owing people)... but it would just be nice if someone OFFERED. If someone made me feel like "Hey... you're worth this to us... there's no price on your life..." But there again, people look at it like "Oh, she needs money for a BOOB JOB..." They don't see it like a life saving surgery, or understand what explant would mean to our health. And the kicker is ---I bend over backwards for our family. Anytime something is asked of me (which can be often), I'm there no matter what ----even if I have to pretend I feel fine when really I'm dying inside. I force myself to do things for other people I can't do for myself...then I collapse for about 12 hours when I get home, but still!!! LOL!!!!!!!! (I'm sure most of you relate!!!) This board has been the first place in many years that I've been able to talk about what I'm going through and have people understand it and know how hard it is...and not treat me like I'm WHINING or like I'm a hypochondriac. I have two friends, out of many, who don't treat me like a hypochondriac... and I withhold discussing much of this with them for fear they will quickly think I am one. My family support ----forget it. They are clueless to this. I have one of those families who are all too busy dealing with their own problems, so they certainly don't want to hear about anyone else's. Any gals relating to any of this? On the flip side, I feel bad for the ones of you who don't have the support of a loving husband. Prayers to all, ---Brigite In a message dated 7/11/2006 9:23:49 PM Eastern Standard Time, deniseplatte@... writes: All of you are so lucky to have supportive husbands. Loving and caring. Anyone have a difficult one, especially with the health issues? lv, D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2006 Report Share Posted July 12, 2006 Brigite: Yours is definitely a horror story. I agree with , is there anything you can do financially to get your implants out? How about your family? Equity in your house? Nothing's more important than your health. It sounds like your husband is being somewhat supportive but could be doing more. Mine was trusting of doctors and he got mad at me when I figured out it was my implants and went off all the prescription drugs, saying I needed to listen to them. I really believe I'd be dead now if I had. He's come around now that I'm better, but it's been a tough couple of years, and I'm not sure I've forgiven him completely for how he treated me, which included going on trips when I was seriously ill and bed ridden. I didn't have a support system as I never told my friends or family and therefore had no one to confide in (too embarassed after having a back surgery I didn't need). I ended up seeing a psychologist, just because I needed to talk to someone. I don't know if that's an option for you, though. I wasn't aware of this support group at the time, which is really the best place to get support from women who understand what you're going through. Kate Platte <deniseplatte@...> wrote: GET YOUR IMPLANTS OUT! You sound so wonderful and beautiful. Save $100 a month. Do anything. KissofSadness@... wrote: Who is your support system? Who gets you all through this? My husband and I have been together for 16yrs, married 9yrs. (I am 31, he is 34.) FORTUNATELY, he's been with me long enough to know that the broken person I am today is 100% the person illness has made me. Meaning, he knows that before this I was never a lazy person, I worked multiple jobs -loved to make money, exercised, watched every bite that went into my mouth --etc. I was so healthy, plus I looked like Pamela head to toe. (Now I look like Roseanne. LOL!) He's been able to see everything happen and that it all started Oct. 3, 1997 when I got implanted. He is tolerant to the things I cannot do, and although my house stays pretty spotless, he has never complained if there were times dirty dishes sat in the sink for days or laundry didn't get done. (That happens sometimes... you all know how it is when your energy comes and goes.) If there are days, or weeks, I can't fix dinner -he's happy with a sandwich. When people say "What does your wife do for a living?" he isn't embarrassed to say I'm disabled and that I've been sick. I can never give him kids, so he just acts like he doesn't want any (despite that we wanted them before I got sick)...........These are just small examples of how he is supportive...and they mean the most. But, having said that, he is VERY passive in life. It's just his way. He isn't the type of person to stand up and shout when he needs to. So, years ago when his boss tried to keep me off their group insurance ---he let me go uninsured for 2 years. I got little medical treatment or medications. (I didn't have Medicare at the time, either.) This was before I was as sick ---but I will NEVER forget it. I went through PTC onset having NO insurance. That's why it took me so long to get a spinal tap to treat it ---I finally needed one so bad and had lost so much vision, a doctor did it regardless of insurance. Most men would stand up and say "WAIT JUST A MINUTE..." That's just one example of many situations like that. He doesn't stand up for me about things like that. He'd rather I hurt or suffer than someone else hurt, or also if it keeps him from having to get in a confrontation with someone. In life, when something comes down to me being put out or someone else ---he always picks me. There again, he thinks I'm tough and that makes it OK. He also seems to be so used to my being sick that he forgets that it's a big deal. For example, if his mom or sister have the sniffles he checks on them ten times a day, "Do you need anything? Are you OK? Oh, you must really feel horrible...you poor thing" ---but with me, he thinks I'm Wonder Woman and that I don't need verbal support or that I don't need him to show interest in what I'm going through. His MOM was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia which turned out to actually just be upper body pain in her ARMS only ------GOD FORBID. I love that he cares about his mom and sister, but he doesn't save any of that for me. I have not one person in my life to stop every once in a while and say "Hey, are you OK? How are you dealing with everything? I know it gets hard." It's so rare that I sit and whine or weep that people just assume I'm OK and strong and that I don't need that. The rest assume I'm just nuts anyway, so they don't acknowledge a health problem to ask about. I think he's seen me go through so much that he thinks I'm used to it and it doesn't bother me or something ---I don't know. Also, something that sort of weighs heavy on me... Our yearly income is about the lowest national average. We barely get by... so there's no affording explant until a miracle comes along; however ---his family has money. I've always felt that if I had CANCER or something known and money came between life or health/death that he'd ask to borrow money. It makes me feel like the value of my life, or the quality of it, is less than $8,000 (or how ever much)---- since no one in our families seems to want to help. I know they don't OWE it to me, and I'd NEVER ask ---I probably wouldn't even take it (because I hate owing people)... but it would just be nice if someone OFFERED. If someone made me feel like "Hey... you're worth this to us... there's no price on your life..." But there again, people look at it like "Oh, she needs money for a BOOB JOB..." They don't see it like a life saving surgery, or understand what explant would mean to our health. And the kicker is ---I bend over backwards for our family. Anytime something is asked of me (which can be often), I'm there no matter what ----even if I have to pretend I feel fine when really I'm dying inside. I force myself to do things for other people I can't do for myself...then I collapse for about 12 hours when I get home, but still!!! LOL!!!!!!!! (I'm sure most of you relate!!!) This board has been the first place in many years that I've been able to talk about what I'm going through and have people understand it and know how hard it is...and not treat me like I'm WHINING or like I'm a hypochondriac. I have two friends, out of many, who don't treat me like a hypochondriac... and I withhold discussing much of this with them for fear they will quickly think I am one. My family support ----forget it. They are clueless to this. I have one of those families who are all too busy dealing with their own problems, so they certainly don't want to hear about anyone else's. Any gals relating to any of this? On the flip side, I feel bad for the ones of you who don't have the support of a loving husband. Prayers to all, ---Brigite In a message dated 7/11/2006 9:23:49 PM Eastern Standard Time, deniseplatte@... writes: All of you are so lucky to have supportive husbands. Loving and caring. Anyone have a difficult one, especially with the health issues? lv, D __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 12, 2006 Report Share Posted July 12, 2006 Brigite . . . and all the other wonderful ladies looking for a way to finance explant . . . Some time ago, I met a woman who desperately needed her implants out, but had no funds . . . It took her a year, but she raised the money - by breeding toy poodles. I don't know how she got started - or if it would be feasible for anyone else, but where there's a will, there's a way! Hugs,Rogene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2006 Report Share Posted July 13, 2006 (Not complaining, just explaining!) Trust me when I say ---there's no financial way. We don't own our house (we rent a very small house), and don't have the credit (or collateral) for loans. I mean, we aren't starving, but we just "get by." I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that these days. We pay expenses until we're down to the last dollar every month, then what ever didn't fit in doesn't get paid until later. We don't go to the grocery store until we've used everything in the cabinets and freezer. We already do without a lot, and have no where else to cut. Our health insurance alone is 1/4 of our monthly income (after taxes). If we had $100 (or even $50) left to save each month -I'd feel rich! We aren't in the position to borrow money and be able to pay it back to family, which -my side doesn't have it to give anyway. This is just what happens when you've already had to go off work and lose your income... and it DRIVES me to want to be able to work and make good money again. My husband makes about the lowest national average income, then I get SSI. (In our state, WV, minimum wage is still $5.15. Our wages are WAY low here.) I'm sure there are a lot of others in my shoes. It's all the more reason the health insurance system is so frustrating. I keep holding out hoping they will cover explant someday. I am going to go for a consultation to 's doctor, Schnarrs, who is 7 hours from me to see what I'm looking at. It seems his costs might be lower than most docs I've checked with thus far. I called yesterday morning at 9am to schedule a consult, and was told someone would call me back -they never did, so we'll see what the next day brings. I'm hoping to price the lowest explant w/lift I can find, and then see if hubby can get his boss to loan it to him. He's tried before for $7,000 when I was checking into just having them replaced (before knowing what I know now), and was denied. So, we'll see!!! Pray for a lower number for me -and add an extra prayer that it will include a LIFT!!! I know this will be my only shot at having one, and I KNOW I'll need one. I have a lot of skin. Anyway ---thanks for the kind words, gals!!! This all just drives me to want to get well more. I would dearly love to pick up where I left off when I first got sick. I was about to start college -no one in my family even graduated high school, much less went to college. Then I'd also know if I have the strength to do college, I'll be able to work again someday. I'd like to be a dental hygienist, but I'd also have to recover enough to not only go to college -but use my hands better. (I used to be a dental assistant, before working for BCBS Federal Employee Programs when I became disabled.) Pray for those of us in waiting, as we pray for everyone's healing in return, Brigite In a message dated 7/12/2006 6:45:41 PM Eastern Standard Time, lagarita120@... writes: Brigite: Yours is definitely a horror story. I agree with , is there anything you can do financially to get your implants out? How about your family? Equity in your house? Nothing's more important than your health. It sounds like your husband is being somewhat supportive but could be doing more. Mine was trusting of doctors and he got mad at me when I figured out it was my implants and went off all the prescription drugs, saying I needed to listen to them. I really believe I'd be dead now if I had. He's come around now that I'm better, but it's been a tough couple of years, and I'm not sure I've forgiven him completely for how he treated me, which included going on trips when I was seriously ill and bed ridden. I didn't have a support system as I never told my friends or family and therefore had no one to confide in (too embarassed after having a back surgery I didn't need). I ended up seeing a psychologist, just because I needed to talk to someone. I don't know if that's an option for you, though. I wasn't aware of this support group at the time, which is really the best place to get support from women who understand what you're going through. Kate Platte <deniseplatte@...> wrote: GET YOUR IMPLANTS OUT! You sound so wonderful and beautiful. Save $100 a month. Do anything. KissofSadness@... wrote: Who is your support system? Who gets you all through this? My husband and I have been together for 16yrs, married 9yrs. (I am 31, he is 34.) FORTUNATELY, he's been with me long enough to know that the broken person I am today is 100% the person illness has made me. Meaning, he knows that before this I was never a lazy person, I worked multiple jobs -loved to make money, exercised, watched every bite that went into my mouth --etc. I was so healthy, plus I looked like Pamela head to toe. (Now I look like Roseanne. LOL!) He's been able to see everything happen and that it all started Oct. 3, 1997 when I got implanted. He is tolerant to the things I cannot do, and although my house stays pretty spotless, he has never complained if there were times dirty dishes sat in the sink for days or laundry didn't get done. (That happens sometimes... you all know how it is when your energy comes and goes.) If there are days, or weeks, I can't fix dinner -he's happy with a sandwich. When people say "What does your wife do for a living?" he isn't embarrassed to say I'm disabled and that I've been sick. I can never give him kids, so he just acts like he doesn't want any (despite that we wanted them before I got sick)...........These are just small examples of how he is supportive...and they mean the most. But, having said that, he is VERY passive in life. It's just his way. He isn't the type of person to stand up and shout when he needs to. So, years ago when his boss tried to keep me off their group insurance ---he let me go uninsured for 2 years. I got little medical treatment or medications. (I didn't have Medicare at the time, either.) This was before I was as sick ---but I will NEVER forget it. I went through PTC onset having NO insurance. That's why it took me so long to get a spinal tap to treat it ---I finally needed one so bad and had lost so much vision, a doctor did it regardless of insurance. Most men would stand up and say "WAIT JUST A MINUTE..." That's just one example of many situations like that. He doesn't stand up for me about things like that. He'd rather I hurt or suffer than someone else hurt, or also if it keeps him from having to get in a confrontation with someone. In life, when something comes down to me being put out or someone else ---he always picks me. There again, he thinks I'm tough and that makes it OK. He also seems to be so used to my being sick that he forgets that it's a big deal. For example, if his mom or sister have the sniffles he checks on them ten times a day, "Do you need anything? Are you OK? Oh, you must really feel horrible...you poor thing" ---but with me, he thinks I'm Wonder Woman and that I don't need verbal support or that I don't need him to show interest in what I'm going through. His MOM was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia which turned out to actually just be upper body pain in her ARMS only ------GOD FORBID. I love that he cares about his mom and sister, but he doesn't save any of that for me. I have not one person in my life to stop every once in a while and say "Hey, are you OK? How are you dealing with everything? I know it gets hard." It's so rare that I sit and whine or weep that people just assume I'm OK and strong and that I don't need that. The rest assume I'm just nuts anyway, so they don't acknowledge a health problem to ask about. I think he's seen me go through so much that he thinks I'm used to it and it doesn't bother me or something ---I don't know. Also, something that sort of weighs heavy on me... Our yearly income is about the lowest national average. We barely get by... so there's no affording explant until a miracle comes along; however ---his family has money. I've always felt that if I had CANCER or something known and money came between life or health/death that he'd ask to borrow money. It makes me feel like the value of my life, or the quality of it, is less than $8,000 (or how ever much)---- since no one in our families seems to want to help. I know they don't OWE it to me, and I'd NEVER ask ---I probably wouldn't even take it (because I hate owing people)... but it would just be nice if someone OFFERED. If someone made me feel like "Hey... you're worth this to us... there's no price on your life..." But there again, people look at it like "Oh, she needs money for a BOOB JOB..." They don't see it like a life saving surgery, or understand what explant would mean to our health. And the kicker is ---I bend over backwards for our family. Anytime something is asked of me (which can be often), I'm there no matter what ----even if I have to pretend I feel fine when really I'm dying inside. I force myself to do things for other people I can't do for myself...then I collapse for about 12 hours when I get home, but still!!! LOL!!!!!!!! (I'm sure most of you relate!!!) This board has been the first place in many years that I've been able to talk about what I'm going through and have people understand it and know how hard it is...and not treat me like I'm WHINING or like I'm a hypochondriac. I have two friends, out of many, who don't treat me like a hypochondriac... and I withhold discussing much of this with them for fear they will quickly think I am one. My family support ----forget it. They are clueless to this. I have one of those families who are all too busy dealing with their own problems, so they certainly don't want to hear about anyone else's. Any gals relating to any of this? On the flip side, I feel bad for the ones of you who don't have the support of a loving husband. Prayers to all, ---Brigite In a message dated 7/11/2006 9:23:49 PM Eastern Standard Time, deniseplatte@... writes: All of you are so lucky to have supportive husbands. Loving and caring. Anyone have a difficult one, especially with the health issues? lv, D __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2006 Report Share Posted July 13, 2006 In a message dated 7/13/2006 1:25:40 AM Eastern Standard Time, saxony01@... writes: Good luck to anyone who tries bathing a cat!Rogene You have to start when they're BABIES and get them used to it. I bathe mine at least once a month to help her, because she's getting too old to groom as well as she used to. (Audrey, 9 ---she's a "mutt" Maine Coon mix.) I don't know how people go through life without a pet! They truly are little gifts from God, and they are proof He doesn't want us to be lonely. By the way, I forgot to mention that breeding was a GREAT suggestion as a way to save money for women who can handle dogs or cats. (My cat can't handle other cats.) Hmm.........fish??? LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2006 Report Share Posted July 13, 2006 Maybe a bunch of us should ask Oprah -- instead of giving away cars to her audience she could pay for explant surgery - a much better place to put her cash. Love, Sunny > > Brigite . . . and all the other wonderful ladies looking for a way to finance explant . . . > > Some time ago, I met a woman who desperately needed her implants out, but had no funds . . . It took her a year, but she raised the money - by breeding toy poodles. > > I don't know how she got started - or if it would be feasible for anyone else, but where there's a will, there's a way! > > Hugs, > > Rogene > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2006 Report Share Posted July 13, 2006 LOL! . . . I don't think you'd get her to bring up the subject! . . . Apparently she got burned when she brought up something about the beef industry some years ago! . . . The implant manufacturer's would hang her out to dry! . . . Not really . . . but the advertisers run this country . . . They don't want the truth out!Rogene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2006 Report Share Posted July 13, 2006 LOL! . . . Talk about a project gone bad! . . . For anyone allergic to house pets . . . Long ago, I saw where one could bathe pets in Woolite every couple weeks to keep the animal dander suppressed . . . I used to do that with a little poodle I had when I met my hubby (who claimed allergy to dogs and cats) . . . Hubby never had a problem with my babt - but I didn't remember to bathe her with it all the time - so I'm still wondering about him. He does seem to have problems with some cats! Especially if he thinks it's time to go home! LOL!Good luck to anyone who tries bathing a cat!Rogene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2006 Report Share Posted July 13, 2006 Good for your husband. We need as many guys talking about this as we can! I fear that there are alot of men walking into this totally unprepared for what it will cost them in the long run. A voice of reason needs to be heard from their side, as a warning to them. I wish more guy magazines would talk about the dangers of implants. That would go a long way toward putting a stigma on implants, making them LESS attractive. Any chance your husband would like to become a freelance writer??? Anyone's husband???? PattyKissofSadness@... wrote: *I would also like to add that my dear hubby is around A LOT of women on a regular basis, and anytime women mention getting implants he does try to talk them out of it and tells them about poisoning and other expenses they don't consider. (I forgot to add that in my post.) He does get a lot of points for that. Plus despite his short comings where support is concerned, he IS very good to me otherwise. As for your words, Rogene --- you are SO wise!!! Everything you said is right on. Dr. Phil has nothing on you...You need your own show!!! LOL I'd watch it!!! In a message dated 7/11/2006 11:05:05 PM Eastern Standard Time, saxony01@... writes: Oh Brigite . . . I'm so sorry your husband isn't there for you . . . I guess I assumed that, since you'd been sick so long, and were still married that your husband was understanding. . . So many husbands find a way to get out! At least your husband is accepting of what's going on. I can understand why you're not getting much sympathy though . . . You try not to let them see how you're suffering . . . I can understand that too . . . When I had my recent breast cancer scar, one of the worst parts of it was the attention - and worry - it brought from my friends and family! . . . I didn't like that at all! . . . I don't care to think of myself as a full time breast cancer patient, and I don't want others to think of me that way either. I had it, I dealt with it, and I've moved on. Are you on Medicaid, or Medicare? . . . I know women who have had their implants removed on both Medicaid and Medicare. I think it has a lot to do with the state though. Medicaid is administered by the state. I think it was Tennessee stopped all Medicaid coverage. I can't imagine how the poor sick there are faring! With most states, you have to have the medical services done in state for Medicaid. Sometime we need to express our needs in the form of "I feel" . . . without someone knowing how we feel, we can't expect them to understand. . . especially when we're trying to keep a stiff upper lip and not let on how much pain we're in. With my hubby, I found that, when he does something for me, I lavish him with praise! . . . He works that much harder to please me then. He often amazes me in that respect! There was one study done that found that when people first become ill, people tend to lavish attention on them . . .but that just lasts so long . .. then it's like "OK, you've had your turn at being sick. Now get well!" Unfortunately that's not always possible. I do pray you can find a way to have your implants removed! . . . There's no promise that explant would make you well, but it would relieve part of the burden on your body . . . and that should help with everything else.Hugs and prayers,Rogene Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2006 Report Share Posted July 13, 2006 Brigite, I absolutely adore Maine Coon's! We had one that was magnificent...white with gray and dark gray tips. I loved that cat...he died several years ago, which was unexpected and sad. We've always had a kitten or cat in our house. I guess none of us have allergies and I hope we never do. I agree, breeding is a great idea for those who can handle it! PattyKissofSadness@... wrote: In a message dated 7/13/2006 1:25:40 AM Eastern Standard Time, saxony01@... writes: Good luck to anyone who tries bathing a cat!Rogene You have to start when they're BABIES and get them used to it. I bathe mine at least once a month to help her, because she's getting too old to groom as well as she used to. (Audrey, 9 ---she's a "mutt" Maine Coon mix.) I don't know how people go through life without a pet! They truly are little gifts from God, and they are proof He doesn't want us to be lonely. By the way, I forgot to mention that breeding was a GREAT suggestion as a way to save money for women who can handle dogs or cats. (My cat can't handle other cats.) Hmm.........fish??? LOL Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2006 Report Share Posted July 13, 2006 Now there's a great idea! Much grander idea than giving away cars! (Except it's a type of reverse publicity?) I can see where she would shy away from implying anything against implant manufacturers, having spent scads of $$$ on that beef industry lawsuit several years back. I am sure she doesnt' want any repeat performances. But then again, there is a right and a wrong. And helping these type of women is just plain right. Maybe she can be persuaded. She should be a champion for those who are being trampled. That's us. PattySunny <wellnessnow@...> wrote: Maybe a bunch of us should ask Oprah -- instead of giving away cars to her audience she could pay for explant surgery - a much better place to put her cash.Love, Sunny >> Brigite . . . and all the other wonderful ladies looking for a way to finance explant . . . > > Some time ago, I met a woman who desperately needed her implants out, but had no funds . . . It took her a year, but she raised the money - by breeding toy poodles. > > I don't know how she got started - or if it would be feasible for anyone else, but where there's a will, there's a way! > > Hugs,> > Rogene> Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2006 Report Share Posted July 13, 2006 Hi Rogene, Poodles are hypoallergenic, as far as I know they are the only breed that is, that could be why your husband had no problems with your little guy. As far as bathing cats, I do it occasionally with ours. Once we bathed all 7! My husband held them by the scruff of the neck and I washed them in the sink. It wasn't bad at all if two people do it together but there was a lot of howling! Kenda > LOL! . . . Talk about a project gone bad! . . . > > For anyone allergic to house pets . . . Long ago, I saw where one could bathe > pets in Woolite every couple weeks to keep the animal dander suppressed . . . > > I used to do that with a little poodle I had when I met my hubby (who claimed > allergy to dogs and cats) . . . Hubby never had a problem with my babt - but I > didn't remember to bathe her with it all the time - so I'm still wondering > about him. He does seem to have problems with some cats! Especially if he > thinks it's time to go home! LOL! > > Good luck to anyone who tries bathing a cat! > > Rogene > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2006 Report Share Posted July 13, 2006 LOL! I didn't know that about poodles! . . . I know I never saw any dander on her. I've been told that, if you start bathing a cat as a baby, there's no problem . . . Also, I've been hearing about vacuuming pets lately . . . The would probably work best with central vacuums so the noise isn't so loud. Rogene Kenda Skaggs <skaggs@...> wrote: Hi Rogene,Poodles are hypoallergenic, as far as I know they are the only breed thatis, that could be why your husband had no problems with your little guy. Asfar as bathing cats, I do it occasionally with ours. Once we bathed all 7!My husband held them by the scruff of the neck and I washed them in thesink. It wasn't bad at all if two people do it together but there was a lotof howling!Kenda> LOL! . . . Talk about a project gone bad! . . .> > For anyone allergic to house pets . . . Long ago, I saw where one could bathe> pets in Woolite every couple weeks to keep the animal dander suppressed . . .> > I used to do that with a little poodle I had when I met my hubby (who claimed> allergy to dogs and cats) . . . Hubby never had a problem with my babt - but I> didn't remember to bathe her with it all the time - so I'm still wondering> about him. He does seem to have problems with some cats! Especially if he> thinks it's time to go home! LOL!> > Good luck to anyone who tries bathing a cat!> > Rogene> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2006 Report Share Posted July 13, 2006 I never heard of Maine Coon cats until our neighbor moved in with one . . . That's one incredible, huge cat! . . . It's so funny, because he avoids visitors - usually hides out . . . But when we go over there, he sits himself down right next to my hubby! . . . So far, hubby hasn't reacted to him. Breeding Maine Coons might work! . . . Probably less trouble than dogs! Rogene Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2006 Report Share Posted July 13, 2006 LOL . . . and I was just thinking that Brigite would be a good writer! . . . Rogene Tricia Trish <glory2glory1401@...> wrote: Good for your husband. We need as many guys talking about this as we can! I fear that there are alot of men walking into this totally unprepared for what it will cost them in the long run. A voice of reason needs to be heard from their side, as a warning to them. I wish more guy magazines would talk about the dangers of implants. That would go a long way toward putting a stigma on implants, making them LESS attractive. Any chance your husband would like to become a freelance writer??? Anyone's husband???? PattyKissofSadness@... wrote: *I would also like to add that my dear hubby is around A LOT of women on a regular basis, and anytime women mention getting implants he does try to talk them out of it and tells them about poisoning and other expenses they don't consider. (I forgot to add that in my post.) He does get a lot of points for that. Plus despite his short comings where support is concerned, he IS very good to me otherwise. As for your words, Rogene --- you are SO wise!!! Everything you said is right on. Dr. Phil has nothing on you...You need your own show!!! LOL I'd watch it!!! In a message dated 7/11/2006 11:05:05 PM Eastern Standard Time, saxony01@... writes: Oh Brigite . . . I'm so sorry your husband isn't there for you . . . I guess I assumed that, since you'd been sick so long, and were still married that your husband was understanding. . . So many husbands find a way to get out! At least your husband is accepting of what's going on. I can understand why you're not getting much sympathy though . . . You try not to let them see how you're suffering . . . I can understand that too . . . When I had my recent breast cancer scar, one of the worst parts of it was the attention - and worry - it brought from my friends and family! . . . I didn't like that at all! . . . I don't care to think of myself as a full time breast cancer patient, and I don't want others to think of me that way either. I had it, I dealt with it, and I've moved on. Are you on Medicaid, or Medicare? . . . I know women who have had their implants removed on both Medicaid and Medicare. I think it has a lot to do with the state though. Medicaid is administered by the state. I think it was Tennessee stopped all Medicaid coverage. I can't imagine how the poor sick there are faring! With most states, you have to have the medical services done in state for Medicaid. Sometime we need to express our needs in the form of "I feel" . . . without someone knowing how we feel, we can't expect them to understand. . . especially when we're trying to keep a stiff upper lip and not let on how much pain we're in. With my hubby, I found that, when he does something for me, I lavish him with praise! . . . He works that much harder to please me then. He often amazes me in that respect! There was one study done that found that when people first become ill, people tend to lavish attention on them . . .but that just lasts so long . .. then it's like "OK, you've had your turn at being sick. Now get well!" Unfortunately that's not always possible. I do pray you can find a way to have your implants removed! . . . There's no promise that explant would make you well, but it would relieve part of the burden on your body . . . and that should help with everything else.Hugs and prayers,Rogene Messenger with Voice. Make PC-to-Phone Calls to the US (and 30+ countries) for 2¢/min or less. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2006 Report Share Posted July 13, 2006 Brigite I am so glad that you have found your support system with us! We truly can sympathize and understand and care! I am sending prayers and well wishes your way. I also think that you must find anyway you can to get those implants out. Please talk to your husband about possibly getting a loan from his family if you can't get one any other away. I know some ladies have charged it to their credit cards. Your husband needs to understand that your life is at stake...if he cares about you he will help you find the way to get help. Somehow you need to light a fire under him and stand up for yourself and your needs. This should be top priority. Nothing else will matter more to your marriage then your ability to feel well and to be a happy, loving, able marriage partner. He needs to see that. He needs to understand what supporting and caring about you really means. I willing be praying for you. Hugs, Kathy Who is your support system? Who gets you all through this? > > My husband and I have been together for 16yrs, married 9yrs. (I am 31, he is 34.) FORTUNATELY, he's been with me long enough to know that the broken person I am today is 100% the person illness has made me. Meaning, he knows that before this I was never a lazy person, I worked multiple jobs -loved to make money, exercised, watched every bite that went into my mouth --etc. I was so healthy, plus I looked like Pamela head to toe. (Now I look like Roseanne. LOL!) He's been able to see everything happen and that it all started Oct. 3, 1997 when I got implanted. He is tolerant to the things I cannot do, and although my house stays pretty spotless, he has never complained if there were times dirty dishes sat in the sink for days or laundry didn't get done. (That happens sometimes... you all know how it is when your energy comes and goes.) If there are days, or weeks, I can't fix dinner -he's happy with a sandwich. When people say " What does your wife do for a living? " > he isn't embarrassed to say I'm disabled and that I've been sick. I can never give him kids, so he just acts like he doesn't want any (despite that we wanted them before I got sick)...........These are just small examples of how he is supportive...and they mean the most. > > But, having said that, he is VERY passive in life. It's just his way. He isn't the type of person to stand up and shout when he needs to. So, years ago when his boss tried to keep me off their group insurance ---he let me go uninsured for 2 years. I got little medical treatment or medications. (I didn't have Medicare at the time, either.) This was before I was as sick ---but I will NEVER forget it. I went through PTC onset having NO insurance. That's why it took me so long to get a spinal tap to treat it ---I finally needed one so bad and had lost so much vision, a doctor did it regardless of insurance. Most men would stand up and say " WAIT JUST A MINUTE... " That's just one example of many situations like that. He doesn't stand up for me about things like that. He'd rather I hurt or suffer than someone else hurt, or also if it keeps him from having to get in a confrontation with someone. In life, when something comes down to me being put out or someone else ---he always > picks me. There again, he thinks I'm tough and that makes it OK. > > He also seems to be so used to my being sick that he forgets that it's a big deal. For example, if his mom or sister have the sniffles he checks on them ten times a day, " Do you need anything? Are you OK? Oh, you must really feel horrible...you poor thing " --- but with me, he thinks I'm Wonder Woman and that I don't need verbal support or that I don't need him to show interest in what I'm going through. His MOM was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia which turned out to actually just be upper body pain in her ARMS only ------GOD FORBID. I love that he cares about his mom and sister, but he doesn't save any of that for me. > > I have not one person in my life to stop every once in a while and say " Hey, are you OK? How are you dealing with everything? I know it gets hard. " It's so rare that I sit and whine or weep that people just assume I'm OK and strong and that I don't need that. The rest assume I'm just nuts anyway, so they don't acknowledge a health problem to ask about. > > I think he's seen me go through so much that he thinks I'm used to it and it doesn't bother me or something ---I don't know. > > Also, something that sort of weighs heavy on me... Our yearly income is about the lowest national average. We barely get by... so there's no affording explant until a miracle comes along; however --- his family has money. I've always felt that if I had CANCER or something known and money came between life or health/death that he'd ask to borrow money. It makes me feel like the value of my life, or the quality of it, is less than $8,000 (or how ever much)--- - since no one in our families seems to want to help. I know they don't OWE it to me, and I'd NEVER ask ---I probably wouldn't even take it (because I hate owing people)... but it would just be nice if someone OFFERED. If someone made me feel like " Hey... you're worth this to us... there's no price on your life... " But there again, people look at it like " Oh, she needs money for a BOOB JOB... " They don't see it like a life saving surgery, or understand what explant would mean to our health. And the kicker is ---I bend > over backwards for our family. Anytime something is asked of me (which can be often), I'm there no matter what ----even if I have to pretend I feel fine when really I'm dying inside. I force myself to do things for other people I can't do for myself...then I collapse for about 12 hours when I get home, but still!!! LOL!!!!!!!! (I'm sure most of you relate!!!) > > This board has been the first place in many years that I've been able to talk about what I'm going through and have people understand it and know how hard it is...and not treat me like I'm WHINING or like I'm a hypochondriac. > > I have two friends, out of many, who don't treat me like a hypochondriac... and I withhold discussing much of this with them for fear they will quickly think I am one. > > My family support ----forget it. They are clueless to this. I have one of those families who are all too busy dealing with their own problems, so they certainly don't want to hear about anyone else's. > > Any gals relating to any of this? On the flip side, I feel bad for the ones of you who don't have the support of a loving husband. > Prayers to all, > ---Brigite > > In a message dated 7/11/2006 9:23:49 PM Eastern Standard Time, deniseplatte@... writes: > All of you are so lucky to have supportive husbands. Loving and caring. Anyone have a difficult one, especially with the health issues? > > lv, > D > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2006 Report Share Posted July 13, 2006 In a message dated 7/13/2006 11:13:51 AM Eastern Standard Time, saxony01@... writes: LOL . . . and I was just thinking that Brigite would be a good writer! . . . Rogene Aw, thanks Rogene! I get carried away sometimes, though, and once I start ranting I can't quit!!! LOL Maybe someday............ Both my sisters have a thing for writing books. The one who was murdered wrote a few, though never published, and the other is writing several right now. (She has a lot of time on her hands, she just got sentenced to 12 yrs in federal prison (with no time off)---bad as it sounds, though, that's down from 80-LIFE that she WAS facing... so it's actually not too bad in a way. And everytime I say I have family in prison, I have to add this: Most families have 1 black sheep ---I'm the 1 "WHITE" sheep of mine ---thank the Lord. I learn by others bad examples. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2006 Report Share Posted July 13, 2006 In a message dated 7/13/2006 11:39:26 AM Eastern Standard Time, mikat828@... writes: I willing be praying for you.Hugs,Kathy Thank you, Kathy! (And everyone else.) Prayer changes things, and it's great to know so many great gals are praying for one another. -Brigite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2006 Report Share Posted July 13, 2006 In a message dated 7/13/2006 7:47:26 PM Eastern Standard Time, glory2glory1401@... writes: Oh my, what did she do???? 80 to life...must have been pretty bad! I am really sorry to hear about your sisters. That's sad. You are the smart one and I am glad you learned by their example! Patty Thanks for the kind words!!! Half my family is in jail/prison for having meth labs. Hers was the biggest and most organized to date in our county. Plus, it was her 3rd felony. In WV, if you have at least 1 violent felony, and 2 other felonies the "3 strikes and it's life" law takes effect. Thankfully, I've never touched a drug, I don't drink alcohol ---and I won't go around people who do. (Even family.) Meth is decaying our state. I'm sure some of you who are in big cities see the effects even worse! Brigite Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 13, 2006 Report Share Posted July 13, 2006 In a message dated 7/13/2006 8:27:07 PM Eastern Standard Time, skaggs@... writes: Don't feel bad, my husband's brother ran over someone and left them dead inthe road. They found him a few months later. He only served a year or twoin prison! His mother phoned us asking for us to pay for his legal fees.We refused! He is out living a wonderful life but can't live the state ofArizona until his restitution is paid to the family. That will likely behis entire life.Kenda The guy who killed my sister plead guilty to 2nd degree murder and got 30 years. He can be out after serving 25% of his sentence, and gets day for day off in good time. So, he can be out in 2010 and he will only be about 37. To me, that seems young enough to get his life back together and move on. My sister was 39 when he killed her, so he won't even be the age she was when she left this Earth due to him. They were both high on meth, got into a dispute, and he strangled her to death. (He'd always been abusive to her, as was every man she'd ever been with.) He sobered up and realized what he had done, put her in a garbage bag, then wrapped her up in an oriental rug to hide her in a back bedroom until he could decide what to do. He pondered a couple days, and considered burning her up or tossing her into a river. THANKFULLY, he didn't try to hide his crime. He turned himself in. As bad as that sounds, I say "thankfully" because he could have tried to hide it and we may have never known what happened to her. Most people would have gone that route. So, for this we are grateful, but at the same time --- he got a slap on the wrist, and that angers our family. Just like what's said here in Kendra's post, about the brother in law only serving a couple years for taking a life (depending on the circumstances) ---it shocks me that a life is so disposable to our legal system. The person he killed was probably not "important" enough to society to matter enough to hand down a stiffer penalty. This is the case with my sister. She was a former prostitute, used drugs, and was unemployed. I've read statistics showing that the more valuable a victim was to society, the stiffer the penalty and vice versa. An example is the case of Laci . Her case was unfolding as my sister's had been. You see the difference in outcome ---because Laci was not only pregnant, but was a good citizen, got the stiffest penalty (and he deserves it if he's guilty). There is no consistency regarding sentencing within our legal system. It's so biased towards stature. They forget ---the family hurts the same, regardless if they lost a loved one who was a hooker, drug dealer, doctor, or saint. Brigite PS: I'm sorry for morphing posts again to something non-related, ya'll! LOL!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2006 Report Share Posted July 14, 2006 Oh my, what did she do???? 80 to life...must have been pretty bad! I am really sorry to hear about your sisters. That's sad. You are the smart one and I am glad you learned by their example! PattyKissofSadness@... wrote: In a message dated 7/13/2006 11:13:51 AM Eastern Standard Time, saxony01@... writes: LOL . . . and I was just thinking that Brigite would be a good writer! . . . Rogene Aw, thanks Rogene! I get carried away sometimes, though, and once I start ranting I can't quit!!! LOL Maybe someday............ Both my sisters have a thing for writing books. The one who was murdered wrote a few, though never published, and the other is writing several right now. (She has a lot of time on her hands, she just got sentenced to 12 yrs in federal prison (with no time off)---bad as it sounds, though, that's down from 80-LIFE that she WAS facing... so it's actually not too bad in a way. And everytime I say I have family in prison, I have to add this: Most families have 1 black sheep ---I'm the 1 "WHITE" sheep of mine ---thank the Lord. I learn by others bad examples. Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 14, 2006 Report Share Posted July 14, 2006 Don't feel bad, my husband's brother ran over someone and left them dead in the road. They found him a few months later. He only served a year or two in prison! His mother phoned us asking for us to pay for his legal fees. We refused! He is out living a wonderful life but can't live the state of Arizona until his restitution is paid to the family. That will likely be his entire life. Kenda > Oh my, what did she do???? 80 to life...must have been pretty bad! > I am really sorry to hear about your sisters. That's sad. You are the > smart one and I am glad you learned by their example! > Patty > > KissofSadness@... wrote: > In a message dated 7/13/2006 11:13:51 AM Eastern Standard Time, > saxony01@... writes: > LOL . . . and I was just thinking that Brigite would be a good > writer! . . . Rogene > > > > > Aw, thanks Rogene! I get carried away sometimes, though, and once I start > ranting I can't quit!!! LOL > Maybe someday............ > > Both my sisters have a thing for writing books. The one who was murdered > wrote a few, though never published, and the other is writing several right > now. (She has a lot of time on her hands, she just got sentenced to 12 yrs in > federal prison (with no time off)---bad as it sounds, though, that's down from > 80-LIFE that she WAS facing... so it's actually not too bad in a way. > > And everytime I say I have family in prison, I have to add this: > Most families have 1 black sheep ---I'm the 1 " WHITE " sheep of mine ---thank > the Lord. I learn by others bad examples. > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs.Try it free. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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