Guest guest Posted October 21, 2002 Report Share Posted October 21, 2002 Joan.... Glad to see you made it to the site here...I am sure you will find alot of info and new friends....like I had said the last time we talked ....just ask away.... there have been a few TX here....many still write to the group ...letting us in on alot of personal info that we could not get from any doctor..... I am sure that our Georgia members will be getting in touch with you and getting you some info on Doctors and Hosp in the area... take care and talk to you soon Luanne Ty's mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2002 Report Share Posted October 21, 2002 Hi Joan, Welcome to the group, sorry to see you here, but you are in the right place. I had PSC for 25+ yrs before I was transplanted on Aug 2nd. This thing decides which course it is going to follow on an individual basis. Everyone is different, so gather as many stories as you can, in order to get some idea of where you are headed. Ask any questions you can think of and you will get an answer, although outsiders sometimes think our sense of humor is pretty weird. Tim L Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 7, 2002 Report Share Posted November 7, 2002 We have dr. Tom-ent, dr. Canning --urology and an endo, but don't remember her name, audiologist is Sara Mckay, but I think we are going to switch to one at st. luke's in bethlehem pa--it's about a half hour away vs 1 1/2 -2 hours at chop. maria Re: New to the group > , > Thanks for the input. We live in Forked River,NJ its about an 1 1/2 > hr drive for us. We do know chop well what doctors do you have? > > Sandy & Kirsten Franz > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 15, 2008 Report Share Posted November 15, 2008 At 07:13 PM 11/12/2008 katiern5123 wrote: >My question is, have any of your BPD family members been helped >by inpatient treatment or >is outpatient better? What sorts of treatment worked for >them? How can you convince a BPD >that they need help? My nada once managed to get herself committed to the local mental hospital when I was growing up. (She made a fake suicide attempt, presumably to cause drama and get attention.) They diagnosed her as " manic " , kept her for a while and sent her home pretty much unchanged. She thought they were crazy and she was fine. The mental hospital upset her because she felt they treated her as a child or as being dumb. Thirty years later she still doesn't think she has a problem. I really don't think there's much that you can do to convince them that they need help because they're so sure they're right and everyone else is wrong. Any therapist who suggests they have a mental illness is usually abandoned. I think something drastic and horrible has to happen before most of them will admit to having a problem and even that may not be enough to make them admit to what the problem is. -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2008 Report Share Posted November 25, 2008 Hi, , you wrote: >She constantly threatens suicide but has yet to try it but i almost wish she > would so that she would be forced to get help. You are not alone in feeling this way. Lots of other KOs have gone through the exact same thing. My mother never did the whole suicide threat thing, but even so, my sister and I still secretly have wished she'd just do it already. I know I felt kind of guilty for thinking that. What I would suggest is communicating a boundary with your mother regarding the suicide threats. A suicide threat should always be taken seriously. If she is doing this to manipulate you and your sister, call her out on that. Tell her you are not responsible for what she does, and that you hope she will tell her doctor or go to the hospital if she is thinking about harming herself. If you suspect she is suicidal, you ought to see about getting her hospitalized. But whatever happens, whether she ever goes thru with it or not, it is not your fault. You are not responsible for her choices. > My question is, have any of your BPD family members been helped by inpatient treatment or > is outpatient better? What sorts of treatment worked for them? How can you convince a BPD > that they need help? Um, well...a big part of this disorder is that people who have it just can't admit that they have a problem. There are very few who commit to therapy and make some serious progress (for example, read the book by Reiland). But like the poster above said, any hope for successful treatment lies completely in the hands of the person with the problem. It is great that you want to help your mother, but the truth is that you are never going to be able to fix her or make her better. Only she can choose that. You are probably never going to be able to convince her to get help for the BPD. You're a nurse, so you'll know more about how to get someone admitted to a hospital for being a danger to herself than I do. Bottom line, though, make it clear to your mother that you do not like her calling you to threaten suicide, that you find it manipulative, and that the next time she does it you will call 911. Good luck, another Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 20, 2009 Report Share Posted January 20, 2009 Hi lilbrandibuddy, Sounds to me like you've done all the right things! Its not easy to set boundaries with one's mentally ill mother, and she will fight it, even escalate her attacks and demands, but its something you have to endure if you want to separate from her dramas and manipulations, if you want peace from the chaos of her disordered mind. You are right on target, my dear. Kudos to you. -Annie > > Hey there! I'm new to the posting portion of the group however I have > been reading your posts for several weeks in order to support my > theories of my mother being a nada and having BPD(undiagnosed).Here's > my story: > I'm 33 yrs old, female and married for 20months(2nd marriage) to the > man of dreams. It has been these past years(we began dating in > Jun2005) that I have been shown unconditional love and my nada's true > colors have come to life. > A little background info: only child,married HS sweetheart(BIG > MISTAKE!)at 25, that year found out I have POF(Premature Ovarian > Failure), failed invitro that ended in miscarriage on my 28th b-day > (Dec),six months later confirmed my ex was cheating and filed > divorce. One year later met my now husband. > The same month that we married (May 07) was when nada began to fall > apart. I moved 20mintes away (OMG!)and she was losing control.My > Grandma (who is in her 90's and has been healthy until now) began > having monthly hospitalizations for seizures/strokes. That's when the > drama began...20months later and the rest of the family is tired. My > Grandma is out of her mind d/t demntia that is worsening, sometimes > combative, wanders at night(found in the snow a week ago!) but my > mother refuses to put her in a nursing home. > It all came to a head on 12/29 when I agreed with nada's brother that > she needed to be placed somewhere to keep her safe. She exploded > (rage) made a scene and " disowned me " . NC for 1 week. Then my NONBPD > father called and defended her because he is her servant(he really > agrees with me but is not allowed to voice his opinion).So for the > next week my husband and I endured countless harassing voicemails > from nada.None of these included an apology for " disowning me " . > Finally my husband wrote a very level-headed letter explaining why we > had gone NC and our concern for her to get professional help. > She got the letter and went into RAGE. She called my cell phone, my > home phone, my husband's cell, my friend's cell;evaing messages > about " the nasty letter " my stupid arrogant husband wrote!....Now she > is saying she is sorry(back-handedly)for disowning me and then > insulting my husband! She has even called and sent a letter to his > parents! Then I blocked her phone numbers from the house and cell. > She called my workline! The last straw was when they(my nada & > father) arrived unannounced on a Thurs night at8:30pm to argue on out > doorstep. We told them that was why we had mailed the letter to avoid > confrontation, we ended by telling them to leave. I sent an email > telling nada to get help or NC. She stated in her response that she > was fine, didn't need help. So it's NC for us! > Any suggestions? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 20, 2009 Report Share Posted January 20, 2009 Thanks for your support Annie! ) > > > > Hey there! I'm new to the posting portion of the group however I have > > been reading your posts for several weeks in order to support my > > theories of my mother being a nada and having BPD (undiagnosed).Here's > > my story: > > I'm 33 yrs old, female and married for 20months(2nd marriage) to the > > man of dreams. It has been these past years(we began dating in > > Jun2005) that I have been shown unconditional love and my nada's true > > colors have come to life. > > A little background info: only child,married HS sweetheart(BIG > > MISTAKE!)at 25, that year found out I have POF(Premature Ovarian > > Failure), failed invitro that ended in miscarriage on my 28th b- day > > (Dec),six months later confirmed my ex was cheating and filed > > divorce. One year later met my now husband. > > The same month that we married (May 07) was when nada began to fall > > apart. I moved 20mintes away (OMG!)and she was losing control.My > > Grandma (who is in her 90's and has been healthy until now) began > > having monthly hospitalizations for seizures/strokes. That's when the > > drama began...20months later and the rest of the family is tired. My > > Grandma is out of her mind d/t demntia that is worsening, sometimes > > combative, wanders at night(found in the snow a week ago!) but my > > mother refuses to put her in a nursing home. > > It all came to a head on 12/29 when I agreed with nada's brother that > > she needed to be placed somewhere to keep her safe. She exploded > > (rage) made a scene and " disowned me " . NC for 1 week. Then my NONBPD > > father called and defended her because he is her servant(he really > > agrees with me but is not allowed to voice his opinion).So for the > > next week my husband and I endured countless harassing voicemails > > from nada.None of these included an apology for " disowning me " . > > Finally my husband wrote a very level-headed letter explaining why we > > had gone NC and our concern for her to get professional help. > > She got the letter and went into RAGE. She called my cell phone, my > > home phone, my husband's cell, my friend's cell;evaing messages > > about " the nasty letter " my stupid arrogant husband wrote!....Now she > > is saying she is sorry(back-handedly)for disowning me and then > > insulting my husband! She has even called and sent a letter to his > > parents! Then I blocked her phone numbers from the house and cell. > > She called my workline! The last straw was when they(my nada & > > father) arrived unannounced on a Thurs night at8:30pm to argue on out > > doorstep. We told them that was why we had mailed the letter to avoid > > confrontation, we ended by telling them to leave. I sent an email > > telling nada to get help or NC. She stated in her response that she > > was fine, didn't need help. So it's NC for us! > > Any suggestions? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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