Guest guest Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 Bumping this up one time. Anyone who was ever split-good might find some real value to watching this or who has family members under control of a nada/fada. For me it just helped crystallize how freakin' crazy it is to let a mentally ill person dominate others and that often they are treated as if they have the power to destroy like that little boy. We may see an adult parent with our eyes, but in actuality we really are dealing with a tyrranical child. > > There's a Twilight Zone episode called " It's a Good Life " that reminds > me so much of what a BPD parent can make life like for those around > them if they have control. The show is about an omnipotent six year- > old and the destruction that power in a child's hands can cause. > Considering those with BPD are like emotional children and their power > as parents with young children is God-like it's a pretty sobering thing. > > Here's the episode: > part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db3v9BBYeQc > part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtu5cnJzpjo & feature=related > part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7glAsly-USE & feature=related > > What thoughts does this spark? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 Well put! I always wondered why that particular episode of " The Twilight Zone " resonated with me, as I saw it for the first time way back when the show was originally broadcast (showing my age, here!) when I myself was a kid and it affected me so much I bought an anthology so that I could read the original short story (which is even creepier, if you can imagine it!) But you're right, its very symbolic of what happens to us KO bpd's, who are indeed at the mercy of an all- powerful " child. " And that is very much a nightmare, and very much like growing up in hell. -Anie > > > > There's a Twilight Zone episode called " It's a Good Life " that > reminds > > me so much of what a BPD parent can make life like for those around > > them if they have control. The show is about an omnipotent six > year- > > old and the destruction that power in a child's hands can cause. > > Considering those with BPD are like emotional children and their > power > > as parents with young children is God-like it's a pretty sobering > thing. > > > > Here's the episode: > > part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db3v9BBYeQc > > part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtu5cnJzpjo & feature=related > > part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7glAsly-USE & feature=related > > > > What thoughts does this spark? > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 Very interesting. Is how everyone behaves in the episode an example of mirroring? That state of fear of trying to keep the peace and of showing them they are great in fear of their retribution. I have an NPD father and BPD mother and NPD sister. It firstly struck me as an example of NPD and how my sister and father act - that kind of creepiness if they arent mirrored correctly - I used to be (and still am alot) terrified that I'd 'get it wrong' i.e. my reactions to them. For my situation with my nada - she also makes a tremendous effort to mirror everyone - so I thought it reflected the effect of the BPD in my life, but struck accurately the darkness in my NPD father and NPD sister and how everyone has to see them as perfect ALL the time - very scary. Then I think of the past week, visiting my nada in hospital and I was acting just like those people in that film to 'cope with her' and it took a month for me to stop holding my breath until her 'turn' stopped two nights ago. So, its familiar to me. > > > > > > There's a Twilight Zone episode called " It's a Good Life " that > > reminds > > > me so much of what a BPD parent can make life like for those around > > > them if they have control. The show is about an omnipotent six > > year- > > > old and the destruction that power in a child's hands can cause. > > > Considering those with BPD are like emotional children and their > > power > > > as parents with young children is God-like it's a pretty sobering > > thing. > > > > > > Here's the episode: > > > part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db3v9BBYeQc > > > part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=mtu5cnJzpjo & feature=related > > > part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7glAsly- USE & feature=related > > > > > > What thoughts does this spark? > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 Annie, I'll have to find that short story! It's hard to explain but it's healing for me to see something like that - gives me a way to look at and think about it that gets past the usual defenses. That's cool (sad too) that you recognized its significance as a kid. Me, I was brainwashed so deeply I doubt I would have even seen it. I saw that episode for the first time maybe a two years ago, and even then I didn't have the reaction to it I have now. Happyout, curious you said your BPD mother mirrors everyone else??? I thought BPD's wanted to be mirrored by everyone just like NPD's. Your description of the NPD's in your life is very familiar to me. I'm glad your mother's " turn " has finished, does that mean she's out of the hospital and you can get some space again? > > > > > > > > There's a Twilight Zone episode called " It's a Good Life " that > > > reminds > > > > me so much of what a BPD parent can make life like for those > around > > > > them if they have control. The show is about an omnipotent six > > > year- > > > > old and the destruction that power in a child's hands can > cause. > > > > Considering those with BPD are like emotional children and > their > > > power > > > > as parents with young children is God-like it's a pretty > sobering > > > thing. > > > > > > > > Here's the episode: > > > > part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db3v9BBYeQc > > > > part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch? > v=mtu5cnJzpjo & feature=related > > > > part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7glAsly- > USE & feature=related > > > > > > > > What thoughts does this spark? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 26, 2008 Report Share Posted November 26, 2008 Here's a link to the short story online; the author is Jerome Bixby. http://nickelkid.net/docs/greats/its_a_good_life.html It has apparently been hand-transcribed and has some spelling and punctuation errors that aren't in the original, but its complete, and its very, very chilling. -Annie > > > > > > > > > > There's a Twilight Zone episode called " It's a Good Life " > that > > > > reminds > > > > > me so much of what a BPD parent can make life like for those > > around > > > > > them if they have control. The show is about an omnipotent > six > > > > year- > > > > > old and the destruction that power in a child's hands can > > cause. > > > > > Considering those with BPD are like emotional children and > > their > > > > power > > > > > as parents with young children is God-like it's a pretty > > sobering > > > > thing. > > > > > > > > > > Here's the episode: > > > > > part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db3v9BBYeQc > > > > > part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch? > > v=mtu5cnJzpjo & feature=related > > > > > part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7glAsly- > > USE & feature=related > > > > > > > > > > What thoughts does this spark? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 This is a time of transition for you, Grace, sounds like. I think you are beginning to understand that you need to get away from your toxic family of origin, make a clean break as soon as you possibly can, but strangely enough that is making you anxious. I believe what you are struggling with is that your parents and sibs are still your identity: you define yourself as part of this dysfunctional dynamic, which is another way of saying that you are totally enmeshed with your foo (family of origin), and you're just starting to realize how extremely unhealthy that is for you. Yet, toxic as it is, it is familiar. I think we all have that problem to one degree or another: the familiar feels safe, the unknown feels scary. But in your case, in my opinion, the familiar is going to eventually totally absorb you /dissolve you unless you rescue yourself. They are not going to change; they are invested in keeping you " in your place " as their virtual servant/slave. You are the one who has to change, to give up the fantasy that they will ever show you respect, concern, love, or even the civility that every human being deserves, overcome your anxiety and finalize your plans and just... leave! The sooner you get away the sooner you will begin to have your own life and be a fully-functioning, joyful, independent adult. Many wishes for success are winging your way. -Annie > > > > > > > > > > > > There's a Twilight Zone episode called " It's a Good Life " > > that > > > > > reminds > > > > > > me so much of what a BPD parent can make life like for > those > > > around > > > > > > them if they have control. The show is about an omnipotent > > six > > > > > year- > > > > > > old and the destruction that power in a child's hands can > > > cause. > > > > > > Considering those with BPD are like emotional children and > > > their > > > > > power > > > > > > as parents with young children is God-like it's a pretty > > > sobering > > > > > thing. > > > > > > > > > > > > Here's the episode: > > > > > > part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db3v9BBYeQc > > > > > > part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch? > > > v=mtu5cnJzpjo & feature=related > > > > > > part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7glAsly- > > > USE & feature=related > > > > > > > > > > > > What thoughts does this spark? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 Thanks Annie! I may save it till after finishing all my Thanksgiving delicious food...it might scare me > > > > > > > > > > > > There's a Twilight Zone episode called " It's a Good Life " > > that > > > > > reminds > > > > > > me so much of what a BPD parent can make life like for those > > > around > > > > > > them if they have control. The show is about an omnipotent > > six > > > > > year- > > > > > > old and the destruction that power in a child's hands can > > > cause. > > > > > > Considering those with BPD are like emotional children and > > > their > > > > > power > > > > > > as parents with young children is God-like it's a pretty > > > sobering > > > > > thing. > > > > > > > > > > > > Here's the episode: > > > > > > part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db3v9BBYeQc > > > > > > part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch? > > > v=mtu5cnJzpjo & feature=related > > > > > > part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7glAsly- > > > USE & feature=related > > > > > > > > > > > > What thoughts does this spark? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 I have another episode for you. I'm pretty sure it is the same boy that was in the episode you described. This one is much more " obvious " . It's called " Long Distance Call " and it's about a grandmother who wants to...well...pretty much consume her grandson. This episode is really sick and creepy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIaH13Ud_-I http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHSlkVLm-nU & feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7MPOiL064g & feature=related > > There's a Twilight Zone episode called " It's a Good Life " that reminds > me so much of what a BPD parent can make life like for those around > them if they have control. The show is about an omnipotent six year- > old and the destruction that power in a child's hands can cause. > Considering those with BPD are like emotional children and their power > as parents with young children is God-like it's a pretty sobering thing. > > Here's the episode: > part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db3v9BBYeQc > part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtu5cnJzpjo & feature=related > part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7glAsly-USE & feature=related > > What thoughts does this spark? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 27, 2008 Report Share Posted November 27, 2008 Damn, that is chilling! Thinking maybe I shouldn't have read that shortly before bedtime. I think getting the extra insight into , what happened to the rat (shiver), and what was going on in the people's minds made it much worse. What it reminds me of though I'll be clear I wouldn't say it compares is the visits to my grandmother's house that my mother and I use to make especially when I was younger and hadn't " learned the ropes " say about seven years old. We would sit around the dinner table grandmother, grandfather, mother, and me sometimes my aunt. My grandmother (who likely had some combo of NPD/BPD) would hold forth about her paranoid suspicions about the neighbors, talk negatively about relatives to the family, spend time making speculations about the horrible thoughts or motivations various people had. Everyone at the table would nodd and agree or say nothing. Me, I was a rebel I'd occasionally contradict her or point out that what she was saying didn't make sense. That meant I was in for it the moment my mother got a moment alone with me. Some of my most vivid memories of that age are my mother saying how ashamed she was of my behavior, how terribly rude I was what an ungrateful child. Sometimes lectured for what seemed like forever in the hours long car trip back home, trapped, and acted angry for days. And of course the whole thing got played again at home with my mother ruling the roost and me supposed to be being a cooperative Greek chorus with no needs or thoughts also. Along about puberty my brain developed enough or maybe I just got broken down enough to figure out what they wanted. I became quiet and withdrawn too, and my lifelong problems with depression started. In hindsight I wish I'd been strong enough to rebel, to run away, but there was nowhere to go - my father can be said without exaggeration to be a sociopath and I knew it. Anyway, that episode makes me think - today, TODAY my nada is not in charge of my life. I do not depend on her for food, shelter, transportation and displeasing her will not result in the end of the universe. My inner child though is a little slower in coming 'round. > > > > > > > > > > > > There's a Twilight Zone episode called " It's a Good Life " > > that > > > > > reminds > > > > > > me so much of what a BPD parent can make life like for those > > > around > > > > > > them if they have control. The show is about an omnipotent > > six > > > > > year- > > > > > > old and the destruction that power in a child's hands can > > > cause. > > > > > > Considering those with BPD are like emotional children and > > > their > > > > > power > > > > > > as parents with young children is God-like it's a pretty > > > sobering > > > > > thing. > > > > > > > > > > > > Here's the episode: > > > > > > part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db3v9BBYeQc > > > > > > part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch? > > > v=mtu5cnJzpjo & feature=related > > > > > > part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7glAsly- > > > USE & feature=related > > > > > > > > > > > > What thoughts does this spark? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2008 Report Share Posted November 28, 2008 Hi Grace, still planning on writing back to your post but my brain is fried with twilight zone thoughts right now so tomorrow will be better. One question though what is it that your nada does when she tries to " merge " with you, how does this work? My first thoughts her the combination of enmeshment with BPD yields a particular set of difficulties. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > There's a Twilight Zone episode called " It's a Good > Life " > > > > that > > > > > > > reminds > > > > > > > > me so much of what a BPD parent can make life like for > > > those > > > > > around > > > > > > > > them if they have control. The show is about an > omnipotent > > > > six > > > > > > > year- > > > > > > > > old and the destruction that power in a child's hands > can > > > > > cause. > > > > > > > > Considering those with BPD are like emotional children > and > > > > > their > > > > > > > power > > > > > > > > as parents with young children is God-like it's a > pretty > > > > > sobering > > > > > > > thing. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Here's the episode: > > > > > > > > part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db3v9BBYeQc > > > > > > > > part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch? > > > > > v=mtu5cnJzpjo & feature=related > > > > > > > > part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7glAsly- > > > > > USE & feature=related > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > What thoughts does this spark? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2008 Report Share Posted November 28, 2008 Thanks Deanna, but I'm definitely waiting till daylight to watch this one! > > > > There's a Twilight Zone episode called " It's a Good Life " that reminds > > me so much of what a BPD parent can make life like for those around > > them if they have control. The show is about an omnipotent six year- > > old and the destruction that power in a child's hands can cause. > > Considering those with BPD are like emotional children and their power > > as parents with young children is God-like it's a pretty sobering thing. > > > > Here's the episode: > > part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db3v9BBYeQc > > part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtu5cnJzpjo & feature=related > > part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7glAsly-USE & feature=related > > > > What thoughts does this spark? > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2008 Report Share Posted November 28, 2008 > > What thoughts does this spark? > > > Wow...quite something. There are many BPD analogies to be made with the episode you suggested and the episode about the Grandmother. I think the feeling of being wholey consumed is something KOs can relate to very well. We weren't allowed to have feelings independent of our BPD/NPD parent and the minute we did, we were judged as being difficult. I can relate to the Grandmother story from the line, " I don't have a son. Some woman took him away. " My Ex-MIL communicated similar feelings. Although she is not BPD, she has been in a co- dependent relationship with her husband (an alcoholic) for over 40 years. She lived her life through her kids. As each of her boys married (my Ex-husband being the first), she went through various issues with each of the new DIL's. She used to say something like, " A daughters a daughter for life, but a son is only a son until he takes a wife. " or something like that. She truly did feel her sons were taken from her. She also sent a congratulations baby card to my SIL where on the front it said, " Congratulations on your new Baby. " She crossed out the " your " and wrote " our. " Totally over the top, and I guess a red flag all around. My BPD mother used to also say things like, " How are MY girls? " when speaking about my daughters. The concept of independence is totally foreign to them and forget boundaries! Definitely an interesting episode. Thanks for sharing. JJFan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2008 Report Share Posted November 28, 2008 Wow, that is definitely a chilling episode, and very much a metaphor for the creepy selfishness of the bpd/narcissist. For me, the most " fantasy-like " element of the story was the dad actually intervening, and the bpd/grandma voluntarily letting go! It would have been much more " realistic " if the child had died, or had somehow managed to rescue himself from creepy grandma. The story does illustrate vividly how pitifully vulnerable children are to the reality distortions of the " Cluster B " personality disorders. In this story, the level of toxicity was almost lethal. Thanks for posting the link to it! Brrr!! Yes, the grandmother's line about her son ( " I don't have a son, he was taken away by a woman. " ) was particularly bpd/narcissist, imho. It has struck me how a lot of stories about the supernatural, monsters, fantasy, and even sci-fi, could be interpreted as metaphors for dealing with real-life insanity. " Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde " (which is a lot like my nada) " The Wolf-man " " Invasion of the Body Snatchers " and " Dracula " (the bps who latch onto their victim and drain them dry) come to mind most readily. And that notion kind of feeds back into my earlier theory that " Cluster Bs " : the pds that lack empathy, that use other people for their own gain, that treat other people like objects, that lack a conscious and lack remorse, that are un-fillable black holes of need... that these individuals lack the qualities that make us fully human. I've mentioned before that I think the sociopaths are just human-shaped sharks, existing only to feed and reproduce: they really don't seem human to me. So, in a way, they *are* monsters. Otherwise, I hope all of you had a lovely Thanksgiving. I and my friend went to a favorite restaurant for a few hours of blissfully insanity-free time together. My Sister had a great time at one of our relative's homes, and apparently our nada had a miserable time at a different relative's home. I think that Mark Twain was right: we're all about as happy as we make up our minds to be! -Annie > > > > There's a Twilight Zone episode called " It's a Good Life " that reminds > > me so much of what a BPD parent can make life like for those around > > them if they have control. The show is about an omnipotent six year- > > old and the destruction that power in a child's hands can cause. > > Considering those with BPD are like emotional children and their power > > as parents with young children is God-like it's a pretty sobering thing. > > > > Here's the episode: > > part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db3v9BBYeQc > > part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtu5cnJzpjo & feature=related > > part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7glAsly-USE & feature=related > > > > What thoughts does this spark? > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2008 Report Share Posted November 28, 2008 JJFan and all, I remember the episode oh too well. Your post JJFan just struck such a cord with me. Yes, having your own view that is different from the bp parent, does make us a difficult child, at first, then adult. My mother wanted me to dress like her- feel like her- make all of my choices like she did-even down to the foods we like. It is very sick. Just yesterday nada asking me what food did I pick as a dinner choice for a Christmas party. We had three choices- veal, crab cakes and or prime rib. She told me she was having crab cakes, I said I think I may try prime rib. Then I heard about how delicious this restuarant's crab cakes were, and how she loves them. It is like that about the simmple and more complexed issues. are so difficult if they do not align with her choice. it is emotionally exhausting. Also I agree there are no boundaries when it comes to our children. I have one daughter, and my parents have always wanted her to be their daughter. So they treated her like my sister, rather then I was her mother. They wanted to be part of every moment of my daughter's life and still do. So when I made the boundaries again I was the difficult one. I remember my nada fighting with me because I didn't invite her and my father to go with us- my husband and I when we took our daughter to college as a freshman. We helped her get organized, and get set-up her dorm room, it was our daughter, but once again I was the difficult one. This is just so wrong and yes, it hurts. Malinda > > > > > > What thoughts does this spark? > > > > > > > > Wow...quite something. There are many BPD analogies to be made with > the episode you suggested and the episode about the Grandmother. I > think the feeling of being wholey consumed is something KOs can > relate to very well. We weren't allowed to have feelings independent > of our BPD/NPD parent and the minute we did, we were judged as being > difficult. I can relate to the Grandmother story from the line, " I > don't have a son. Some woman took him away. " My Ex-MIL communicated > similar feelings. Although she is not BPD, she has been in a co- > dependent relationship with her husband (an alcoholic) for over 40 > years. She lived her life through her kids. As each of her boys > married (my Ex-husband being the first), she went through various > issues with each of the new DIL's. She used to say something > like, " A daughters a daughter for life, but a son is only a son until > he takes a wife. " or something like that. She truly did feel her > sons were taken from her. She also sent a congratulations baby card > to my SIL where on the front it said, " Congratulations on your new > Baby. " She crossed out the " your " and wrote " our. " Totally over the > top, and I guess a red flag all around. My BPD mother used to also > say things like, " How are MY girls? " when speaking about my > daughters. The concept of independence is totally foreign to them > and forget boundaries! > > Definitely an interesting episode. Thanks for sharing. > > JJFan > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 28, 2008 Report Share Posted November 28, 2008 Hi Grace, I relate to so very much of your description of how things are for you with your NPD & BPD family. It is hellish situation to be enmeshed in. There's a lot to say if I can organize my thoughts, but there's one most important thing - run, run for your life. You've got the option being that your mother is married and you've got siblings who sound like they deserve a turn with the responsibility, run. You've already written about moving to another country - that sounds great - go for it! Now it's never that simple though...people tell me to get out too. I'm an only child and my nada is a hermit with some other mental illness as well. There is literally only one other person to take the burden if I leave and it is not a person I feel right about putting it on. Still those are my issues I've got to work out, but physical distance is a start but it's not a cure. I've lived away many years but still much can happen " long distance " ....as the Twilight Zone demonstrates. Terms...mirroring is when a person reflects your emotions back to you. So if " " says it's a hot day, you say " why yes it sure is hot! " (this is different from the first Twilight Zone episode where they just responded that everything was " good " ) Or if is exicted you reflect that back too. If she hurts her knee, you say " ouch, that sure looks like it hurts " It's what parents are supposed to do to help a child learn to recognize their own emotions as valid and real. For contrast, a BPD parent might respond to the hurt knee with " stop crying " or " you're not hurt that's nothing " or " stop that or you'll get punished " ....this is the beginning of breaking a child's internal awareness of their own experience and why lack of mirroring is so damaging. Splitting - means splitting someone or even something all good or all bad. So everything they do and say is good or everything they do and say is bad. BPD's do this most damagingly in their relationships so that's why we talk about children being split-good or split-bad. It's also why the BPD can't acknowledge the wrongs they've done because then they would have to split themselves bad - something they cannot endure. Merging...yes, I believe there is a spiritual, metaphysical aspect to this. I haven't found this group too interested in that so I don't talk about it often. Still I'll share one thing http://www.rose- rosetree.com/faq.htm#aboutcords I know it comes off as very unscientific and woo-woo but the truth is this has been more aid to me than anything I've tried. One warning though, if you don't change the external real world situation eventually new cords form and you have to do it again. Guess that's long enough > > > > > > > > > > > > There's a Twilight Zone episode called " It's a Good Life " > > that > > > > > reminds > > > > > > me so much of what a BPD parent can make life like for > those > > > around > > > > > > them if they have control. The show is about an omnipotent > > six > > > > > year- > > > > > > old and the destruction that power in a child's hands can > > > cause. > > > > > > Considering those with BPD are like emotional children and > > > their > > > > > power > > > > > > as parents with young children is God-like it's a pretty > > > sobering > > > > > thing. > > > > > > > > > > > > Here's the episode: > > > > > > part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db3v9BBYeQc > > > > > > part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch? > > > v=mtu5cnJzpjo & feature=related > > > > > > part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7glAsly- > > > USE & feature=related > > > > > > > > > > > > What thoughts does this spark? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 29, 2008 Report Share Posted November 29, 2008 Hi Grace, that's cool you got to do a session with Rosetree. If I may ask did she do a cord cutting for your mother? The one she did for me was for someone else but I was amazed at how it just demolished that person's power over me in real life and inside my head. I've learned how to do her technique from her book effectively and have done it for my mother and it works, only problem is that it is temporary only. The external situation is so strong that new cords develop though not on the same level as the original ones. So in the end spiritual action whether prayer or new age has to be followed up with real world action any way. Still it's nice to get some peace for a little while. About empathy, (for others reading this is psychic picking up of others emotions, not regular empathy) I agree my experience has been of it as a burden mostly. I am able to be there for others when I want to be in a deep way they that say is unique, but I've had to involunatarily be there so much it is hard to feel positive sometimes. I've searched the net and read many books and I've yet to find a foolproof technique that really shuts it off though I've found some things that help. Rosetree emphasizes over and over in her book not to try to connect empathicly with mentally disturbed people - that it is dangerous and hard to shake off the effects. When I read that I was like " No sh**! " ...too bad if those mentally disturbed people are your family of origin I guess. It's one reason their craziness and anger can get on " the inside " and do so much damage - it's harder as an empath to keep it out there, " their problem " . Which brings the interesting question of merging, who's merging with whom? One one side there's the mother that wants to merge with the child, to live through them, to feel more whole and solid. On the other side there's the child (as a young child) who has a motive to merge with the mother - just to stay safe, to know wha she wants, to anticipate her moods. Add those two together....enmeshment. Add a litle psychic empathy and it's even worse. So as far as this merging one bit of advice...check to make sure *you* aren't merging with her or leaving the way open as a form of self-defense. Anyway, enough about that...back to brass tacks. As usual I agree with Annie that it sounds like you are under terrible strain. Another idea if you can't pull off the fake nervous breakdown is to appear to get some kind of recurrent infection - like your lung infection you mentioned earlier...have it come back when you need a break for a few days. Do you have any friends or therapist in real life who understand what is happening who can back you up? This can make a big difference though hard to find. Ultimately manipulating the situation does not get you your power back and this will have implications for later. Still your psychological survival matters most....as always I say run far and run fast at first opportunity. all the best > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > There's a Twilight Zone episode called " It's a Good > Life " > > > > that > > > > > > > reminds > > > > > > > > me so much of what a BPD parent can make life like for > > > those > > > > > around > > > > > > > > them if they have control. The show is about an > > omnipotent > > > > six > > > > > > > year- > > > > > > > > old and the destruction that power in a child's hands > can > > > > > cause. > > > > > > > > Considering those with BPD are like emotional children > > and > > > > > their > > > > > > > power > > > > > > > > as parents with young children is God-like it's a > pretty > > > > > sobering > > > > > > > thing. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Here's the episode: > > > > > > > > part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Db3v9BBYeQc > > > > > > > > part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch? > > > > > v=mtu5cnJzpjo & feature=related > > > > > > > > part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7glAsly- > > > > > USE & feature=related > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > What thoughts does this spark? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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