Guest guest Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 I think that there are lots of " normal " people that don't spend the holidays with their parents for a variety of reasons. I think the reason that we don't notice this is because in a normal family everyone is accepting and loving so there is no drama that Suzie Q isn't home for the holidays. Does that make sense? I think it is a very good thing to get to know yourself and what you actually want. Christmas should be a day for you to do whatever you want however you want it!! After all, it is a day of giving. I've never seen it written anywhere that you shouldn't give to yourself. > > A while back I posted about what to do for my Christmas plans, and in > the meantime I discovered something about myself. I don't really want > to go to my parents for Christmas this year. Whatever my mom has done > aside, I think I just want to stay home. > > So, my question is, how " normal " is it for people to not want to be > with parents over holidays? If I had a completely " normal " menatally > stable family, and I wanted to stay home, would that be a normal thing > to do? > > I do have a reason, though. I feel like I want to know my really true > self. That's really hard to do when I am around my mom because I just > do stuff to " make " her happy. I'm tired of it. Any thoughts? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 3, 2008 Report Share Posted December 3, 2008 Sounds pretty normal to me to not want to be around a person (or a group) that makes you tense up with anxiety and dread. If you've never experienced Christmas on your own, well, why not try it? It could be interesting for you in a self-discovery sort of way. You might love it, you might hate it. You could use the time to have an adventure: try going somewhere you've never been before, or doing something you've never done, like... bungee jumping? I'm all for having adventures, myself! -Annie > > A while back I posted about what to do for my Christmas plans, and in > the meantime I discovered something about myself. I don't really want > to go to my parents for Christmas this year. Whatever my mom has done > aside, I think I just want to stay home. > > So, my question is, how " normal " is it for people to not want to be > with parents over holidays? If I had a completely " normal " menatally > stable family, and I wanted to stay home, would that be a normal thing > to do? > > I do have a reason, though. I feel like I want to know my really true > self. That's really hard to do when I am around my mom because I just > do stuff to " make " her happy. I'm tired of it. Any thoughts? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 > > A while back I posted about what to do for my Christmas plans, and in > the meantime I discovered something about myself. I don't really want > to go to my parents for Christmas this year. Whatever my mom has done > aside, I think I just want to stay home. > > So, my question is, how " normal " is it for people to not want to be > with parents over holidays? If I had a completely " normal " menatally > stable family, and I wanted to stay home, would that be a normal thing > to do? > > I do have a reason, though. I feel like I want to know my really true > self. That's really hard to do when I am around my mom because I just > do stuff to " make " her happy. I'm tired of it. Any thoughts? > Lucky- Last year we decided to stay home for Christmas. My husband had to work a 1/2 day on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day was his only day off. Things were so tense with my parents that I decided it would just be us and the kids. We invited my parents for a late brunch on Christmas Eve which set off World War III because Nada felt entitled to a full Christmas dinner on Christmas day. Despite all the drama that ensued, I have no regrets about doing that. We enjoyed our day. The kids got to lounge around in their pajamas and we didn't have to fret about guests. I firmly believe we all have a choice. Often times the FOG (fear, obligation, guilt) creeps in and we think we don't. Give yourself permission to do what YOU really want to do. The Christmas cops aren't going to come arrest you because you chose not to spend another miserable Christmas with your FOO. Take care- JJFan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 My thoughts are- stay at home, and do what you want. Just know there may be residual effects from your mother. Really though even if you give her the full day and rearrange your life to please her- their will be residual effects, but a different kind. So, please honor you. That is the hardest thing for us to do- honor ourselves, but somehow we must learn to do that. Reread my Happy Thanksgiving post- to know that dysfunctional people suck the life out of us, and you want a Christmas Day where you have some inner peace. Otherwise you may be like me, needing a day or two to emotionally recover from it all. Good Luck, Malinda In WTOAdultChildren1 , " luckybluejay " <blue- jay11@...> wrote: > > A while back I posted about what to do for my Christmas plans, and in > the meantime I discovered something about myself. I don't really want > to go to my parents for Christmas this year. Whatever my mom has done > aside, I think I just want to stay home. > > So, my question is, how " normal " is it for people to not want to be > with parents over holidays? If I had a completely " normal " menatally > stable family, and I wanted to stay home, would that be a normal thing > to do? > > I do have a reason, though. I feel like I want to know my really true > self. That's really hard to do when I am around my mom because I just > do stuff to " make " her happy. I'm tired of it. Any thoughts? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 4, 2008 Report Share Posted December 4, 2008 I do not think 'normal'(=not-BDP) families always spend Xmas or any other relevant date (Thanksgiving, for example) together, it is not a 'must' for them to show to the world how perfect of a family they are. Good for you to stand up and do what *YOU* want with your vacation. I bet this will be your best Xmas ever. > > > > A while back I posted about what to do for my Christmas plans, and in > > the meantime I discovered something about myself. I don't really want > > to go to my parents for Christmas this year. Whatever my mom has done > > aside, I think I just want to stay home. > > > > So, my question is, how " normal " is it for people to not want to be > > with parents over holidays? If I had a completely " normal " menatally > > stable family, and I wanted to stay home, would that be a normal thing > > to do? > > > > I do have a reason, though. I feel like I want to know my really true > > self. That's really hard to do when I am around my mom because I just > > do stuff to " make " her happy. I'm tired of it. Any thoughts? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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