Update on the Vandalized photos and subsquent Christmas Liberation!

[Guest guest]

Nada's EMAIL TO ME:

I am hoping that you are all coming on Christmas Eve as usual.

> I

> > have a

> > new Trivial Pursuit with new questions.

> > Any thoughts on what you'd like for a present? I have lots of

> > babysitting this month so ask away!

> >

> > Love mum

MY REPLY:

I can't think of anything for presents right now. What do you

> want?

>

> As far as coming over for dinner I think i'll pass this year. I

might

> try something different like going to Banff or something. Maybe you

> should take a break this year too and come with me! I'll treat

> us to a

> nice hotel and a dinner if you want to. I don't want to spend

> time with

> my brothers this year, I feel that they're so disrespectful

> to you

> AND to me too. You go to all kinds of trouble every year and

they're

> utterly unappreciative and juvenile. Maybe if you took a year

> off they

> might appreciate things more next year. I am sure that (BADA) was

> the one

> who scratched up your photos of me. I think that was beyond rude

and

> disrespectful of your home, and I have no desire to see either

> one of

> them this year. Let me know if you're interested in my idea, and

> I will

> book a room in Banff. Could be fun, just think about it.

NADA's REPLY:

> I was very much afraid that you were going to say that you

> wouldn't come

> this year .I am also quite sure (BADA) did NOT scratch up the

pictures

> .It's wear and tear and absolutely nothing to do with him.

> I am sorry I can't go with the idea of Banff just yet. Maybe

> when I get

> too old to cope but for now I'll have Christmas and those who

> want to

> come will do so. I have a feeling you would rather be with (your

boyfriend)

> anyway. I can't tell you how sad that makes me feel but I won't

> make a

> fuss. You do what you have to do and I'll do Christmas.

>

> All I want for Christmas is a table lamp

> Love mum

>

MY REPLY:

Did I say I was going to spend Christmas with (my boyfriend)? I

don't think so, I won't be over at (boyfriend's) for Christmas

either. That has nothing to do with the fact that I don't want to

spend Christmas with my rude brothers. I have felt this way for

years actually before I even knew (boyfriend). I am sorry your sad

that i'm not coming but it makes me sad to watch how badly they

mistreat you each and every year.. and me too. If you want to

continue putting up with that dispicable behaviour you can but i'm

not.

By the way, those photos have recently been damaged. It seems a

coincidence that they slipped out of the glass by themselves, and

coincidentally only my face was the one that was damaged. Maybe you

should look again. Interesting that you think (BADA) had nothing to

do with it. This falls in line with his past abusive behaviour

towards me so i'm done pretending that I can even stand being in the

same room as him.

NADA's REPLY:

Hi .Oops I hope I didn't offend you..I'd hate that .I didn't mean

you'd be spending Christmas with (boyfriend). I understand you

don't want to be with the boys so just do what makes you

comfortable. I just can't abandon them. There is no other

family .They are sometimes a pain as you say but they are still my

sons, I am their mother and I can't just dump them…I wouldn't want

to. Anyway let's just agree to differ here and stay on good terms.

I won't bother you with it again. Do whatever you feel is right for

you. I know you and I will be able to get together one day around

Christmas so we can exchange gifts at least.

Love mum

THE END. I'm Free !! LOL Thoughts anyone?

[Guest guest]

Well, even though she's still clearly ok with putting up with your

brother, at least she sounds like she respects your decision. I can

tell she's not happy about it, but she seems to understand what you

said to her. That's way better than anything my mother would do!

Enjoy your holiday without bro.

Kt

>

> Nada's EMAIL TO ME:

> I am hoping that you are all coming on Christmas Eve as usual.

> > I

> > > have a

> > > new Trivial Pursuit with new questions.

> > > Any thoughts on what you'd like for a present? I have lots of

> > > babysitting this month so ask away!

> > >

> > > Love mum

>

> MY REPLY:

> I can't think of anything for presents right now. What do you

> > want?

> >

> > As far as coming over for dinner I think i'll pass this year. I

> might

> > try something different like going to Banff or something. Maybe

you

> > should take a break this year too and come with me! I'll treat

> > us to a

> > nice hotel and a dinner if you want to. I don't want to spend

> > time with

> > my brothers this year, I feel that they're so disrespectful

> > to you

> > AND to me too. You go to all kinds of trouble every year and

> they're

> > utterly unappreciative and juvenile. Maybe if you took a year

> > off they

> > might appreciate things more next year. I am sure that (BADA) was

> > the one

> > who scratched up your photos of me. I think that was beyond rude

> and

> > disrespectful of your home, and I have no desire to see either

> > one of

> > them this year. Let me know if you're interested in my idea, and

> > I will

> > book a room in Banff. Could be fun, just think about it.

>

> NADA's REPLY:

> > I was very much afraid that you were going to say that you

> > wouldn't come

> > this year .I am also quite sure (BADA) did NOT scratch up the

> pictures

> > .It's wear and tear and absolutely nothing to do with him.

> > I am sorry I can't go with the idea of Banff just yet. Maybe

> > when I get

> > too old to cope but for now I'll have Christmas and those who

> > want to

> > come will do so. I have a feeling you would rather be with (your

> boyfriend)

> > anyway. I can't tell you how sad that makes me feel but I won't

> > make a

> > fuss. You do what you have to do and I'll do Christmas.

> >

> > All I want for Christmas is a table lamp

> > Love mum

> >

> MY REPLY:

> Did I say I was going to spend Christmas with (my boyfriend)? I

> don't think so, I won't be over at (boyfriend's) for Christmas

> either. That has nothing to do with the fact that I don't want to

> spend Christmas with my rude brothers. I have felt this way for

> years actually before I even knew (boyfriend). I am sorry your sad

> that i'm not coming but it makes me sad to watch how badly they

> mistreat you each and every year.. and me too. If you want to

> continue putting up with that dispicable behaviour you can but i'm

> not.

>

> By the way, those photos have recently been damaged. It seems a

> coincidence that they slipped out of the glass by themselves, and

> coincidentally only my face was the one that was damaged. Maybe you

> should look again. Interesting that you think (BADA) had nothing

to

> do with it. This falls in line with his past abusive behaviour

> towards me so i'm done pretending that I can even stand being in

the

> same room as him.

>

> NADA's REPLY:

> Hi .Oops I hope I didn't offend you..I'd hate that .I didn't mean

> you'd be spending Christmas with (boyfriend). I understand you

> don't want to be with the boys so just do what makes you

> comfortable. I just can't abandon them. There is no other

> family .They are sometimes a pain as you say but they are still my

> sons, I am their mother and I can't just dump them…I wouldn't want

> to. Anyway let's just agree to differ here and stay on good terms.

>

> I won't bother you with it again. Do whatever you feel is right

for

> you. I know you and I will be able to get together one day around

> Christmas so we can exchange gifts at least.

>

> Love mum

>

> THE END. I'm Free !! LOL Thoughts anyone?

>

[Guest guest]

She seems pretty respectful of your wishes. She's not going to

change her mind and not invite your brothers but she doesn't sound

like she is being overly defensive of them, either. It seems like

she doesn't want to leave anyone alone on Christmas. It seems like

she got your point about why you won't be joining them. Her ending

made it clear that she understood and she would see you another time

if you chose not to go and she seemed pretty amicable in the email,

from what I got out of it.

Like another poster said, I would never see something that respectful

from Nada!

>

> Nada's EMAIL TO ME:

> I am hoping that you are all coming on Christmas Eve as usual.

> > I

> > > have a

> > > new Trivial Pursuit with new questions.

> > > Any thoughts on what you'd like for a present? I have lots of

> > > babysitting this month so ask away!

> > >

> > > Love mum

>

> MY REPLY:

> I can't think of anything for presents right now. What do you

> > want?

> >

> > As far as coming over for dinner I think i'll pass this year. I

> might

> > try something different like going to Banff or something. Maybe

you

> > should take a break this year too and come with me! I'll treat

> > us to a

> > nice hotel and a dinner if you want to. I don't want to spend

> > time with

> > my brothers this year, I feel that they're so disrespectful

> > to you

> > AND to me too. You go to all kinds of trouble every year and

> they're

> > utterly unappreciative and juvenile. Maybe if you took a year

> > off they

> > might appreciate things more next year. I am sure that (BADA) was

> > the one

> > who scratched up your photos of me. I think that was beyond rude

> and

> > disrespectful of your home, and I have no desire to see either

> > one of

> > them this year. Let me know if you're interested in my idea, and

> > I will

> > book a room in Banff. Could be fun, just think about it.

>

> NADA's REPLY:

> > I was very much afraid that you were going to say that you

> > wouldn't come

> > this year .I am also quite sure (BADA) did NOT scratch up the

> pictures

> > .It's wear and tear and absolutely nothing to do with him.

> > I am sorry I can't go with the idea of Banff just yet. Maybe

> > when I get

> > too old to cope but for now I'll have Christmas and those who

> > want to

> > come will do so. I have a feeling you would rather be with (your

> boyfriend)

> > anyway. I can't tell you how sad that makes me feel but I won't

> > make a

> > fuss. You do what you have to do and I'll do Christmas.

> >

> > All I want for Christmas is a table lamp

> > Love mum

> >

> MY REPLY:

> Did I say I was going to spend Christmas with (my boyfriend)? I

> don't think so, I won't be over at (boyfriend's) for Christmas

> either. That has nothing to do with the fact that I don't want to

> spend Christmas with my rude brothers. I have felt this way for

> years actually before I even knew (boyfriend). I am sorry your sad

> that i'm not coming but it makes me sad to watch how badly they

> mistreat you each and every year.. and me too. If you want to

> continue putting up with that dispicable behaviour you can but i'm

> not.

>

> By the way, those photos have recently been damaged. It seems a

> coincidence that they slipped out of the glass by themselves, and

> coincidentally only my face was the one that was damaged. Maybe you

> should look again. Interesting that you think (BADA) had nothing

to

> do with it. This falls in line with his past abusive behaviour

> towards me so i'm done pretending that I can even stand being in

the

> same room as him.

>

> NADA's REPLY:

> Hi .Oops I hope I didn't offend you..I'd hate that .I didn't mean

> you'd be spending Christmas with (boyfriend). I understand you

> don't want to be with the boys so just do what makes you

> comfortable. I just can't abandon them. There is no other

> family .They are sometimes a pain as you say but they are still my

> sons, I am their mother and I can't just dump them…I wouldn't want

> to. Anyway let's just agree to differ here and stay on good terms.

>

> I won't bother you with it again. Do whatever you feel is right

for

> you. I know you and I will be able to get together one day around

> Christmas so we can exchange gifts at least.

>

> Love mum

>

> THE END. I'm Free !! LOL Thoughts anyone?

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, it's nice that I don't have to put up with anymore 'Hoo Ha'

from her or my brothers this Christmas. It's also good that she's

respecting my boundary, but I wish she could respect her own!

Including her own photos. I suppose if she's in denial abut my

brother scratching them then how could she have a normal reaction to

it. It's soooooo clear and obvious to EVERYONE that was deliberate,

yet she refuses to believe it. Ahhh well c'est la vie, i've moved on

and it feels goood.

Now just to decide what to do with myself over Christmas. This is a

first, and I like it.

PS: Keep working on your nada boundaries, it has taken me YEARS to

even get that much respect out of her. YEARS and YEARS of drama but

somehow the stronger you get with your boundaries, the more likely

the nada's are to respect them. Good luck..

> >

> > Nada's EMAIL TO ME:

> > I am hoping that you are all coming on Christmas Eve as usual.

> > > I

> > > > have a

> > > > new Trivial Pursuit with new questions.

> > > > Any thoughts on what you'd like for a present? I have lots of

> > > > babysitting this month so ask away!

> > > >

> > > > Love mum

> >

> > MY REPLY:

> > I can't think of anything for presents right now. What do you

> > > want?

> > >

> > > As far as coming over for dinner I think i'll pass this year.

I

> > might

> > > try something different like going to Banff or something.

Maybe

> you

> > > should take a break this year too and come with me! I'll treat

> > > us to a

> > > nice hotel and a dinner if you want to. I don't want to spend

> > > time with

> > > my brothers this year, I feel that they're so disrespectful

> > > to you

> > > AND to me too. You go to all kinds of trouble every year and

> > they're

> > > utterly unappreciative and juvenile. Maybe if you took a year

> > > off they

> > > might appreciate things more next year. I am sure that (BADA)

was

> > > the one

> > > who scratched up your photos of me. I think that was beyond

rude

> > and

> > > disrespectful of your home, and I have no desire to see either

> > > one of

> > > them this year. Let me know if you're interested in my idea,

and

> > > I will

> > > book a room in Banff. Could be fun, just think about it.

> >

> > NADA's REPLY:

> > > I was very much afraid that you were going to say that you

> > > wouldn't come

> > > this year .I am also quite sure (BADA) did NOT scratch up the

> > pictures

> > > .It's wear and tear and absolutely nothing to do with him.

> > > I am sorry I can't go with the idea of Banff just yet. Maybe

> > > when I get

> > > too old to cope but for now I'll have Christmas and those who

> > > want to

> > > come will do so. I have a feeling you would rather be with

(your

> > boyfriend)

> > > anyway. I can't tell you how sad that makes me feel but I

won't

> > > make a

> > > fuss. You do what you have to do and I'll do Christmas.

> > >

> > > All I want for Christmas is a table lamp

> > > Love mum

> > >

> > MY REPLY:

> > Did I say I was going to spend Christmas with (my boyfriend)? I

> > don't think so, I won't be over at (boyfriend's) for Christmas

> > either. That has nothing to do with the fact that I don't want

to

> > spend Christmas with my rude brothers. I have felt this way for

> > years actually before I even knew (boyfriend). I am sorry your

sad

> > that i'm not coming but it makes me sad to watch how badly they

> > mistreat you each and every year.. and me too. If you want to

> > continue putting up with that dispicable behaviour you can but

i'm

> > not.

> >

> > By the way, those photos have recently been damaged. It seems a

> > coincidence that they slipped out of the glass by themselves,

and

> > coincidentally only my face was the one that was damaged. Maybe

you

> > should look again. Interesting that you think (BADA) had

nothing

> to

> > do with it. This falls in line with his past abusive behaviour

> > towards me so i'm done pretending that I can even stand being in

> the

> > same room as him.

> >

> > NADA's REPLY:

> > Hi .Oops I hope I didn't offend you..I'd hate that .I didn't

mean

> > you'd be spending Christmas with (boyfriend). I understand you

> > don't want to be with the boys so just do what makes you

> > comfortable. I just can't abandon them. There is no other

> > family .They are sometimes a pain as you say but they are still

my

> > sons, I am their mother and I can't just dump them…I wouldn't

want

> > to. Anyway let's just agree to differ here and stay on good

terms.

> >

> > I won't bother you with it again. Do whatever you feel is right

> for

> > you. I know you and I will be able to get together one day

around

> > Christmas so we can exchange gifts at least.

> >

> > Love mum

> >

> > THE END. I'm Free !! LOL Thoughts anyone?

> >

>