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Count me in for ADD- not 'fully diagnosed' but I do have ADD

tendencies. Can't concentrate, or OVER concentrate- i can start

reading a book and the 4 kids will be screaming at each other in

front of me and I can hear nothing but what is going on in my head. i

leave things in every room of the house as I walk from room to room

trying to recall why I was in there in the first place. I have a hard

time focusing on some conversations. But thats only with family

members- not with outside friends.

hhmmm.. something to research.

My NADA did all the thinking for me as well. And was a control- neat

freak. We would wash our hands in the bathroom, wipe our hands on the

hand towel, then she would walk in 2 seconds after to straighten the

hand towel. EVERY time. And the house always smelled like bleach. She

bleached EVERYTHING. So, when I smell bleach, I think of her.

I tried medication, and it made me so jittery I could not handle it.

So its possible our ADD is not a physical thing- ADD is a misfiring

in the brain and can be alleviated or retrained with medication. I

think that our type of 'add behavior' is learned. Does that make

sense? For me that is why i beleive the medication did not work. This

could be a 'flea' from living with NADA. let me know what you and

others think.

hugs,

cindy

>

> I am curious...are there any other KO's out there that have

discovered that they are ADD. I

> have suspected that I am for years but always thought that you had

to be diagnosed as a kid.

> I am 41.

>

> Nada was such a control freak that I never had to organize or think

for myself, then I went

> into the Army...same there. Have been struggling to organize

myself since I got out of the

> Army over 17 years ago.

>

> My train of thought spends so much time off the track that it has

now been registered as an

> off road vehicle.

>

> Of course ADD is such a popular diagnosis now that my doctor thinks

I am drug seeking!

> Yeah right. I have a mildly herniated disc and my vicodin script

of 30 pills lasts me between

> 18 months and two years! Oh and at least ten of them are not even

consumed by me in that

> time. I have a neighbor that has severe dental problems that I

give one to once in a while.

> Gimme a break.

>

> Did I mention that I stopped in the middle of cleaning to eat and

then check my e-mail and

> then come to this site and post about this? My oven is sitting in

the middle of my kitchen

> with my vacuum sitting beside it waiting for me to finish.

>

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Hoo boy that's a big fat " yes. " I was diagnosed as a kid, but at the

time they didn't treat unless one was also hyper, which I wasn't. I

learned to get by, I loved to read and was smart enough that I didn't

have to study for tests to get B's and low A's. Still, I felt like I

was skating by on charm and if anyone " found me out " if be through. I

found creative outlets like theatre and writing that allowed me to use

my " hunter " brain to good use.

I didn't go to college right after high school, working for a few

years and going to massage school first. massage school was enormously

helpful in helping me to understand the different styles of learning,

and giving me permission to have quiet fidget toys and take notes in

colored pencils. After a few years or working in massage and partying,

hard, I realized that I was still operating under the " I don't want to

take ritalin because i don't want a drug controlling my brain " while I

was " self medicating " with drugs that didn't have street names yet. it

was fun, but I thought I'd try the one that might actually help.

I continued with the ritalin through college when I knew I'd have to

knuckle down a bit. Now that I'm done, I'm off for a variety of

reasons, among which is that it begins to lose effectiveness after a

few years.

You don't have to be a kid to be diagnosed, in fact, it's common for

adults to discover their own diagnosis when they have kids who get

diagnosed and realize that the symptoms sound awfully familiar. I'm

not sure what the connection is between BP parents and ADD/HD, but it

would be interesting to investigate.

>

> I am curious...are there any other KO's out there that have

discovered that they are ADD. I

> have suspected that I am for years but always thought that you had

to be diagnosed as a kid.

> I am 41.

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I find that interesting because I have always noticed that my nada has

a short attention span and little patience with tasks that take time

to convey or achieve. She is very easily frustrated, and easily bored.

Could be ADD!

Also, my nada has mentioned that she is somewhat dyslexic, and was

forced in elementary school to learn to write with her right hand

although she was naturally left-handed. She is good with math, and

not so good with reading; she has never read for pleasure.

Fortunately, I think Sister and both I dodged a bullet; neither of us

have ADD, although my sister says she has a touch of dyslexia. At

least, I don't think I have any " Cluster B " pds (thank God) although I

do seem to have some traits of avoidant pd, and I sure did pick up

" fleas " from nada. But I'm gradually de-flea-ing myself.

-Annie

> >

> > I am curious...are there any other KO's out there that have

> discovered that they are ADD. I

> > have suspected that I am for years but always thought that you had

> to be diagnosed as a kid.

> > I am 41.

>

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---

I think my sister and I both have ADD (w/o hyperactivity). I am

distracted easily, especially by noise, like when I'm trying to

work. I get very caught up in reading and will spend an entire day

reading when other things need to be done. I'm very unorganized and

get overwhelmed with it. My sister is an exaggerated version of all

of these and then some.

Joanna

In WTOAdultChildren1 , " cspace67 "

wrote:

>

> I am curious...are there any other KO's out there that have

discovered that they are ADD. I

> have suspected that I am for years but always thought that you had

to be diagnosed as a kid.

> I am 41.

>

> Nada was such a control freak that I never had to organize or think

for myself, then I went

> into the Army...same there. Have been struggling to organize

myself since I got out of the

> Army over 17 years ago.

>

> My train of thought spends so much time off the track that it has

now been registered as an

> off road vehicle.

>

> Of course ADD is such a popular diagnosis now that my doctor thinks

I am drug seeking!

> Yeah right. I have a mildly herniated disc and my vicodin script

of 30 pills lasts me between

> 18 months and two years! Oh and at least ten of them are not even

consumed by me in that

> time. I have a neighbor that has severe dental problems that I

give one to once in a while.

> Gimme a break.

>

> Did I mention that I stopped in the middle of cleaning to eat and

then check my e-mail and

> then come to this site and post about this? My oven is sitting in

the middle of my kitchen

> with my vacuum sitting beside it waiting for me to finish.

>

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I've had these symptoms too, I was seeing a psychologist a while back

and she said ADD, she also said I had dyslexia, oppositional defiant

disorder, food allergies, and about 1/2 dozen other things, and then

she wrote a nasty letter back to my GP.

Turned out it was stress, my concentration is the first thing to go.

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This may have been brought up already...I'm way behind on posts...

I was dx'd with ADD when I was 12...in 1985, before it was trendy. I was again

diagnosed, in a different state, at age 16.

When I read the criteria and diagnostics, I can definitely see that I fit into

that label.

However, what I also know is that for a fully accurate diagnosis part of the

" suggestions " is that the child/patient have been free from any trauma for the

previous 6 months.

And that makes me wonder...is the " ADD " that I have *truly* ADD? Or is it a

cumulative effect of the extreme stress and the trauma that I was born into? It

is hard to focus on a task at hand when one has learned, probably from birth, to

be constantly on very high alert for the behaviour of another.. Even as an

adult, away from my mother, the more I untangle the damage she did...the more I

realize how on alert I am and how that affects my concentration and my ability

to follow through on tasks.

So I wonder if it is really ADD for me...or if it is the effect of the trauma of

being the child of my mother.

Ninera

>

> Subject: Re: KO's with ADD

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

> Date: Saturday, November 22, 2008, 5:15 PM

> Count me in for ADD- not 'fully diagnosed' but I do

> have ADD

> tendencies. Can't concentrate, or OVER concentrate- i

> can start

> reading a book and the 4 kids will be screaming at each

> other in

> front of me and I can hear nothing but what is going on in

> my head. i

> leave things in every room of the house as I walk from room

> to room

> trying to recall why I was in there in the first place. I

> have a hard

> time focusing on some conversations. But thats only with

> family

> members- not with outside friends.

> hhmmm.. something to research.

>

> My NADA did all the thinking for me as well. And was a

> control- neat

> freak. We would wash our hands in the bathroom, wipe our

> hands on the

> hand towel, then she would walk in 2 seconds after to

> straighten the

> hand towel. EVERY time. And the house always smelled like

> bleach. She

> bleached EVERYTHING. So, when I smell bleach, I think of

> her.

>

> I tried medication, and it made me so jittery I could not

> handle it.

> So its possible our ADD is not a physical thing- ADD is a

> misfiring

> in the brain and can be alleviated or retrained with

> medication. I

> think that our type of 'add behavior' is learned.

> Does that make

> sense? For me that is why i beleive the medication did not

> work. This

> could be a 'flea' from living with NADA. let me

> know what you and

> others think.

> hugs,

> cindy

>

>

>

> >

> > I am curious...are there any other KO's out there

> that have

> discovered that they are ADD. I

> > have suspected that I am for years but always thought

> that you had

> to be diagnosed as a kid.

> > I am 41.

> >

> > Nada was such a control freak that I never had to

> organize or think

> for myself, then I went

> > into the Army...same there. Have been struggling to

> organize

> myself since I got out of the

> > Army over 17 years ago.

> >

> > My train of thought spends so much time off the track

> that it has

> now been registered as an

> > off road vehicle.

> >

> > Of course ADD is such a popular diagnosis now that my

> doctor thinks

> I am drug seeking!

> > Yeah right. I have a mildly herniated disc and my

> vicodin script

> of 30 pills lasts me between

> > 18 months and two years! Oh and at least ten of them

> are not even

> consumed by me in that

> > time. I have a neighbor that has severe dental

> problems that I

> give one to once in a while.

> > Gimme a break.

> >

> > Did I mention that I stopped in the middle of cleaning

> to eat and

> then check my e-mail and

> > then come to this site and post about this? My oven

> is sitting in

> the middle of my kitchen

> > with my vacuum sitting beside it waiting for me to

> finish.

> >

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at

> @.... SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO

> NOT Respond ON THE GROUP.

>

> To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on

> Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL () for your

> copy. We also refer to “Understanding the Borderline

> Mother†(Lawson) and “Surviving the Borderline

> Parent,†(Roth) which you can find at any bookstore.

> Welcome to the WTO community!

>

> From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community

> and author SWOE and the SWOE Workbook.

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Also, I have PTSD, and often some of those symptoms mimic ADD symptoms.

> From: leik49832 <leik49832yahoo (DOT) com>

> Subject: Re: KO's with ADD

> To: WTOAdultChildren1@ yahoogroups. com

> Date: Saturday, November 22, 2008, 5:15 PM

> Count me in for ADD- not 'fully diagnosed' but I do

> have ADD

> tendencies. Can't concentrate, or OVER concentrate- i

> can start

> reading a book and the 4 kids will be screaming at each

> other in

> front of me and I can hear nothing but what is going on in

> my head. i

> leave things in every room of the house as I walk from room

> to room

> trying to recall why I was in there in the first place. I

> have a hard

> time focusing on some conversations. But thats only with

> family

> members- not with outside friends.

> hhmmm.. something to research.

>

> My NADA did all the thinking for me as well. And was a

> control- neat

> freak. We would wash our hands in the bathroom, wipe our

> hands on the

> hand towel, then she would walk in 2 seconds after to

> straighten the

> hand towel. EVERY time. And the house always smelled like

> bleach. She

> bleached EVERYTHING. So, when I smell bleach, I think of

> her.

>

> I tried medication, and it made me so jittery I could not

> handle it.

> So its possible our ADD is not a physical thing- ADD is a

> misfiring

> in the brain and can be alleviated or retrained with

> medication. I

> think that our type of 'add behavior' is learned.

> Does that make

> sense? For me that is why i beleive the medication did not

> work. This

> could be a 'flea' from living with NADA. let me

> know what you and

> others think.

> hugs,

> cindy

>

>

>

> >

> > I am curious...are there any other KO's out there

> that have

> discovered that they are ADD. I

> > have suspected that I am for years but always thought

> that you had

> to be diagnosed as a kid.

> > I am 41.

> >

> > Nada was such a control freak that I never had to

> organize or think

> for myself, then I went

> > into the Army...same there. Have been struggling to

> organize

> myself since I got out of the

> > Army over 17 years ago.

> >

> > My train of thought spends so much time off the track

> that it has

> now been registered as an

> > off road vehicle.

> >

> > Of course ADD is such a popular diagnosis now that my

> doctor thinks

> I am drug seeking!

> > Yeah right. I have a mildly herniated disc and my

> vicodin script

> of 30 pills lasts me between

> > 18 months and two years! Oh and at least ten of them

> are not even

> consumed by me in that

> > time. I have a neighbor that has severe dental

> problems that I

> give one to once in a while.

> > Gimme a break.

> >

> > Did I mention that I stopped in the middle of cleaning

> to eat and

> then check my e-mail and

> > then come to this site and post about this? My oven

> is sitting in

> the middle of my kitchen

> > with my vacuum sitting beside it waiting for me to

> finish.

> >

>

>

>

> ------------ --------- --------- ------

>

> Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at

> BPDCentral (DOT) com. SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO

> NOT Respond ON THE GROUP.

>

> To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on

> Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL () for your

> copy. We also refer to “Understanding the Borderline

> Mother� (Lawson) and “Surviving the Borderline

> Parent,� (Roth) which you can find at any bookstore.

> Welcome to the WTO community!

>

> From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community

> and author SWOE and the SWOE Workbook.

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Funny how society would much rather blame the child, as it were, and

diagnose them with ADD and drug them rather than do some real

investigating and discover that the child is living a virtual P.O.W.

existence, enduring daily psychological torture at the hands of a

supposedly loving " parent. "

Problem is that abusive parents rarely (if ever) take their kids in

for evaluations ( " There's something wrong with this kid, and I need my

kid to be perfect, so fix them. " ) But when the mentally ill parent

learns that its herself, the nada, who is the main cause of the

child's distress (problems eating, sleeping, concentrating, or

embarrassing nervous habits, etc.) the nada then declare that the

doctor/therapist is an idiot and the child is not helped or (even

better) rescued.

I think children need to have legal advocates assigned to them at

birth, or something. There's got to be something better than just

letting the mentally ill and substance abusers have and raise kids.

-Annie

> > >

> > > I am curious...are there any other KO's out there

> > that have

> > discovered that they are ADD. I

> > > have suspected that I am for years but always thought

> > that you had

> > to be diagnosed as a kid.

> > > I am 41.

> > >

> > > Nada was such a control freak that I never had to

> > organize or think

> > for myself, then I went

> > > into the Army...same there. Have been struggling to

> > organize

> > myself since I got out of the

> > > Army over 17 years ago.

> > >

> > > My train of thought spends so much time off the track

> > that it has

> > now been registered as an

> > > off road vehicle.

> > >

> > > Of course ADD is such a popular diagnosis now that my

> > doctor thinks

> > I am drug seeking!

> > > Yeah right. I have a mildly herniated disc and my

> > vicodin script

> > of 30 pills lasts me between

> > > 18 months and two years! Oh and at least ten of them

> > are not even

> > consumed by me in that

> > > time. I have a neighbor that has severe dental

> > problems that I

> > give one to once in a while.

> > > Gimme a break.

> > >

> > > Did I mention that I stopped in the middle of cleaning

> > to eat and

> > then check my e-mail and

> > > then come to this site and post about this? My oven

> > is sitting in

> > the middle of my kitchen

> > > with my vacuum sitting beside it waiting for me to

> > finish.

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> > ------------ --------- --------- ------

> >

> > Problems? Ask our friendly List Manager for help at

> > BPDCentral (DOT) com. SEND HER ANY POSTS THAT CONCERN YOU; DO

> > NOT Respond ON THE GROUP.

> >

> > To order the KO bible " Stop Walking on

> > Eggshells, " call 888-35-SHELL () for your

> > copy. We also refer to  " Understanding the Borderline

> > Mother� (Lawson) and  " Surviving the Borderline

> > Parent,� (Roth) which you can find at any bookstore.

> > Welcome to the WTO community!

> >

> > From Randi Kreger, Owner BPDCentral, WTO Online Community

> > and author SWOE and the SWOE Workbook.

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> I think children need to have legal advocates assigned to them at

> birth, or something. There's got to be something better than just

> letting the mentally ill and substance abusers have and raise kids.

> -Annie

Amen to that Annie, if only. Sometimes I still get a sudden burst of

anger that *no one* said anything, no one did anything not even

people in a real position to know my nada was " unbalanced " . Who

guards the guardians? Sure leave her to raise a child totally on her

own with no other adult around....what could go wrong?

Part of the problem is that a parent has to be crazy, really

obviously out of their friggin' heads crazy before anyone will do

anything. Personality disorders are a lot easier to pass off as just

an unpleasant aspect of normal behavior - at least the part they let

people see in public. In the " Daughters of Madness " book the author

says that in some ways people with officially crazy mothers

(hallucinating, going out in public undressed) at least get

validation of their reality.

julie

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I've thought of that too: that it would actually have been " better "

for Sister and me if our nada had been worse, ie, less

high-functioning, but our nada was/is pretty well in control and would

only act out her rages and beat us in private. In public nada was

" June Cleaver. " (ie, perfect TV sitcom mom from the 1950's.)

When Sister and I were in elementary school and high school, we were

never required to strip and shower after gym classes, we stayed fully

clothed the whole day so nobody could ever see our bruises and welts.

But it was the continuous disapproval, the criticism, the irritability

that could switch instantly into smothering sweetness for no apparent

reason and then back again that kept us on edge, the never feeling

like anything we ever did was good enough, that we could never meet

nada's standards of intelligence, competence, talent, beauty, wit,

charm, etc., etc., that did the most brutal damage. Sister and I grew

up feeling like tragic disappointments to our parents (nada in

particular) who were expecting to give birth to a couple of Miss

America Pageant winners, apparently.

There, that's my whine for the day.

All done now!

-Annie

> > I think children need to have legal advocates assigned to them at

> > birth, or something. There's got to be something better than just

> > letting the mentally ill and substance abusers have and raise kids.

> > -Annie

>

> Amen to that Annie, if only. Sometimes I still get a sudden burst of

> anger that *no one* said anything, no one did anything not even

> people in a real position to know my nada was " unbalanced " . Who

> guards the guardians? Sure leave her to raise a child totally on her

> own with no other adult around....what could go wrong?

>

> Part of the problem is that a parent has to be crazy, really

> obviously out of their friggin' heads crazy before anyone will do

> anything. Personality disorders are a lot easier to pass off as just

> an unpleasant aspect of normal behavior - at least the part they let

> people see in public. In the " Daughters of Madness " book the author

> says that in some ways people with officially crazy mothers

> (hallucinating, going out in public undressed) at least get

> validation of their reality.

>

> julie

>

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You know, I often have wondered if I have ADD because I find it

impossible at times to concentrate on tasks that take more than a

few minutes or follow long coversations. The funny thing is, when

the environment gets very stressful, i.e. the night before a test, I

can buckle down and do what I need to do- I just can't unless the

pressure is on. I get bored quickly at work and at home and am

always looking for new projects when things slow down instead of

just enjoying the peace. I think that since I was raised under

constant stress (waiting for nada's next outburst) that that is the

only way I know how to function. As for following conversations,

nada used to scream at me for hours on end and I just learned to

tune out when she started so maybe that's why I have a tendancy to

tune out when conversations are one-sided.

>

> I am curious...are there any other KO's out there that have

discovered that they are ADD. I

> have suspected that I am for years but always thought that you had

to be diagnosed as a kid.

> I am 41.

>

> Nada was such a control freak that I never had to organize or

think for myself, then I went

> into the Army...same there. Have been struggling to organize

myself since I got out of the

> Army over 17 years ago.

>

> My train of thought spends so much time off the track that it has

now been registered as an

> off road vehicle.

>

> Of course ADD is such a popular diagnosis now that my doctor

thinks I am drug seeking!

> Yeah right. I have a mildly herniated disc and my vicodin script

of 30 pills lasts me between

> 18 months and two years! Oh and at least ten of them are not even

consumed by me in that

> time. I have a neighbor that has severe dental problems that I

give one to once in a while.

> Gimme a break.

>

> Did I mention that I stopped in the middle of cleaning to eat and

then check my e-mail and

> then come to this site and post about this? My oven is sitting in

the middle of my kitchen

> with my vacuum sitting beside it waiting for me to finish.

>

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I wonder about ADD symptoms, myself: I don't think I have it, but,

maybe its just that decades of enduring the stress of

constant/frequent exposure to a bpd mother has bequeathed me with some

of the symptoms. I startle very easily and very strongly at

unexpected loud noises and it takes several minutes for my heart rate

to go back down. I still bite my nails. I avoid dramatic people and

emotional situations, preferring to live very quietly, alone. Although

I can concentrate for very long periods on things that interest me (I

even " lose " time, 4 hours can pass and I'll not even realize it if I'm

reading a good book) but I'm finding it increasingly difficult to pay

attention and concentrate on tasks I find boring/onerous/difficult.

And I find myself eating too much without even being consciously aware

of it, as I usually eat while on the computer. I think my

consciousness is on " automatic pilot " too often.

Maybe its time for a psychological " tune up. " I need to feel more in

control of myself, so I think I need to seek out a therapist whose got

a background in treating bpds or (better yet) adult kids of bpds.

-Annie

> >

> > I am curious...are there any other KO's out there that have

> discovered that they are ADD. I

> > have suspected that I am for years but always thought that you had

> to be diagnosed as a kid.

> > I am 41.

> >

> > Nada was such a control freak that I never had to organize or

> think for myself, then I went

> > into the Army...same there. Have been struggling to organize

> myself since I got out of the

> > Army over 17 years ago.

> >

> > My train of thought spends so much time off the track that it has

> now been registered as an

> > off road vehicle.

> >

> > Of course ADD is such a popular diagnosis now that my doctor

> thinks I am drug seeking!

> > Yeah right. I have a mildly herniated disc and my vicodin script

> of 30 pills lasts me between

> > 18 months and two years! Oh and at least ten of them are not even

> consumed by me in that

> > time. I have a neighbor that has severe dental problems that I

> give one to once in a while.

> > Gimme a break.

> >

> > Did I mention that I stopped in the middle of cleaning to eat and

> then check my e-mail and

> > then come to this site and post about this? My oven is sitting in

> the middle of my kitchen

> > with my vacuum sitting beside it waiting for me to finish.

> >

>

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Yep, I fall in the ADD category also. I had no idea until I was 29

years old! My therapist also thinks nada and possibly my dad also

have undiagnosed ADD. I wonder how prolific ADD is with KO's and if

there's a correlation there?

I wish I had known this going through school, perhaps if I had been

medicated sooner I might have been able to concentrate for more than

0.2 seconds! I had to learn everything on my own time though

textbooks. NOTHING STUCK in lectures. I was especially bad at math;

however my IQ is supposedly 122 or so. I suppose that explains how

intelligent people can do poorly in certain subject at school. Of

course nada never noticed or cared there was a problem. Her

response, " Oh I failed at math too, so don't worry abut it. " Thanks

nada, keep the bar low and you'll never be disappointed!! Lol

>

> I am curious...are there any other KO's out there that have

discovered that they are ADD. I

> have suspected that I am for years but always thought that you had

to be diagnosed as a kid.

> I am 41.

>

> Nada was such a control freak that I never had to organize or

think for myself, then I went

> into the Army...same there. Have been struggling to organize

myself since I got out of the

> Army over 17 years ago.

>

> My train of thought spends so much time off the track that it has

now been registered as an

> off road vehicle.

>

> Of course ADD is such a popular diagnosis now that my doctor

thinks I am drug seeking!

> Yeah right. I have a mildly herniated disc and my vicodin script

of 30 pills lasts me between

> 18 months and two years! Oh and at least ten of them are not even

consumed by me in that

> time. I have a neighbor that has severe dental problems that I

give one to once in a while.

> Gimme a break.

>

> Did I mention that I stopped in the middle of cleaning to eat and

then check my e-mail and

> then come to this site and post about this? My oven is sitting in

the middle of my kitchen

> with my vacuum sitting beside it waiting for me to finish.

>

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I also have wondering about ADD. Years ago I listened to a cassette about a

mother who was dealing with her ADD child and suddenly realized that her child

was just like her and that she had ADD.  She had listed many things which I

definitely had identified with growing up and going to school.  I remembered

bringing it to the attention of a counselor I had been seeing and his response

was ... " if you can write a letter then you don't have ADD " . 

I find myself constantly starting projects at home or at work and never

completing anything.  I get bored really easily and have to have at least three

things going at one time in order to complete any tasks. I have to stop myself

and do a little self talking like " Okay, you cannot begin anything else until

you finish this, that & the other thing.  "  If I don't self talk and  have too

much going on, I become overwhelmed and paralyzed and can't complete anything.

I discovered BPD about 6 months ago and it just consumed me.  I've been reading

everything I can online. All my life I had never understood what I did to set

nada off.  I can't believe I am in my late 50's, have been going to therapists

since I was in my 20's and not one therapist ever even mentioned BPD to me. 

Everything I had said about my mother and every thing I felt about myself I have

read in these posts and on another Non BPD group.  I have felt anger, sadness, 

enlightment  and a zillion other emotions these past months. When I had

mentioned it to my therapist she brushed it off and warned me to be careful what

I read online.  When I had mentioned it to the psychiatric nurse who prescribes

antidepressants for me (who is also my mother's doctor) she blew me off saying

your mother doesn't have BPD.  I left feeling so unvalidated and decided I don't

really care what they say or think.  I now know what I know and reading what

everyone

writes has helped me more than any counselor or therapist has in over 30 years.

This group is great.

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Tuesday, November 25, 2008 12:12:58 PM

Subject: Re: KO's with ADD

You know, I often have wondered if I have ADD because I find it

impossible at times to concentrate on tasks that take more than a

few minutes or follow long coversations. The funny thing is, when

the environment gets very stressful, i.e. the night before a test, I

can buckle down and do what I need to do- I just can't unless the

pressure is on. I get bored quickly at work and at home and am

always looking for new projects when things slow down instead of

just enjoying the peace. I think that since I was raised under

constant stress (waiting for nada's next outburst) that that is the

only way I know how to function. As for following conversations,

nada used to scream at me for hours on end and I just learned to

tune out when she started so maybe that's why I have a tendancy to

tune out when conversations are one-sided.

>

> I am curious...are there any other KO's out there that have

discovered that they are ADD. I

> have suspected that I am for years but always thought that you had

to be diagnosed as a kid.

> I am 41.

>

> Nada was such a control freak that I never had to organize or

think for myself, then I went

> into the Army...same there. Have been struggling to organize

myself since I got out of the

> Army over 17 years ago.

>

> My train of thought spends so much time off the track that it has

now been registered as an

> off road vehicle.

>

> Of course ADD is such a popular diagnosis now that my doctor

thinks I am drug seeking!

> Yeah right. I have a mildly herniated disc and my vicodin script

of 30 pills lasts me between

> 18 months and two years! Oh and at least ten of them are not even

consumed by me in that

> time. I have a neighbor that has severe dental problems that I

give one to once in a while.

> Gimme a break.

>

> Did I mention that I stopped in the middle of cleaning to eat and

then check my e-mail and

> then come to this site and post about this? My oven is sitting in

the middle of my kitchen

> with my vacuum sitting beside it waiting for me to finish.

>

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