Re: There is hope--theme dreams

[Guest guest]

Delta, Thank you so much for posting this, it was perfect timing for me! I've

made it very

clear that I won't be responding to any communication from nada, and yet she

keeps

trying to contact me, again and again. And I admit--even though I don't

respond, it still

causes a great deal of fear in me. The fear is of confrontation, mostly. I am

afraid she will

try and show up at my doorstep. I am financially and otherwise independent of

her--but

I'm still afraid, for some reason.

The other thing I wanted to say is that I have that exact same theme dream. The

one

about the breaks in the car giving out, and trying to steer. I also have one

where the view

out of the car is completely blocked, and I have to steer anyway. I've learned

to take good

care of my car--keeping it in working order--and that helps a little.

Another theme dream I have is that nada is trying to get into the door of my

childhood

bedroom. A variant of this is that any number of frightening beasts or

attackers is trying

to get into my childhood home (nada not being there, of course). I think this

is my version

of your being chased dream.

These dreams really try to tell us something!

Charlie

>

> It's been about a year and a half since I cut off communication with

> NADA. Since then she's sent a scant handfull of e-mails that I route

> to a separate folder that I can read when I feel 'braced.' Nothing of

> note has happened in the e-mails, but I always read them in case

> someone died or something.

>

> I feel *SO MUCH BETTER* than I did two years ago. my relationship with

> my husband has improved because I no longer have someone who's lacing

> their conversations with subtext, so I'm not looking for it with him.

> (it's not there). I have a much lower threshold for bulls**t, and the

> crazy friends that were less crazy that NADA but still not healthy are

> far onto the back burner. I'm feeling more confident, and every day

> feel a little more grounded and comfortable with who I am.

> I even notice my pain tolerance is lower since I'm not stressed to the

> max and in pain all the time. I think I'm slowly getting closer to

> normal. Heck, even my fertility cycles are more regular now than

> they've ever been. A month ago, I finally figured out that I was

> still afraid that she would be a pain if I had kids (she has this

> thing about not letting kids see their grandparents being 'child

> abuse'), and got comfortable with the notion that I could tell her to

> piss off and call the cops if she didn't.

>

> I feel loved, I feel comfortable, I feel confident, like the world is

> finally somewhere fun to be.

>

> I'm still getting over some things, and there are parts of my life

> that will never be perfect, but I don't have nearly as many dreams

> about being chased by something that wants to catch me and let me go

> to chase me again, or that I'm in an out of control car with broken

> brakes. And that's a huge improvement.

>

> So, if you're feeling like your NADA has ruined your life forever or

> that there's no end in sight....she hasn't, and there is. I promise.

>

> Delta

>

[Guest guest]

I used to have the no-brakes dream a LOT, also many many nightmares,

often about being chased or being unable to scream. I'd finally force

the scream out, which used to scare my husband half to death when we

were first married.

Now I feel in control during my dreams, and do a lot more exploring or

connecting with others. I don't remember the last time I had a

nightmare. Learning not to fear my mother helped a lot with that

process, I think.

[Guest guest]

Wow--I had those EXACT dreams, the car brakes and being unable to

scream--all through my childhood and teens!

Never ceases to amaze me how many similarities KO's have!

>

> I used to have the no-brakes dream a LOT, also many many nightmares,

> often about being chased or being unable to scream. I'd finally

force

> the scream out, which used to scare my husband half to death when we

> were first married.

>

> Now I feel in control during my dreams, and do a lot more exploring

or

> connecting with others. I don't remember the last time I had a

> nightmare. Learning not to fear my mother helped a lot with that

> process, I think.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Just to join the club!

I used to have the same dreams... often in a car and also often on a

roller coaster that got completely out of control... my head spins

and I lose my balance when I wake up and try to get out of the bed. I

wish I could say it was a thing of the past, but it's not, I continue

to have nightmares, sometimes even more when during the day I am fine

and living a healthy life and sticking to my boundaries... I am still

quite scared of my mother's anger, so maybe when I manage to get this

fear out of my system, the nights will get better for me.

> >

> > I used to have the no-brakes dream a LOT, also many many

nightmares,

> > often about being chased or being unable to scream. I'd finally

> force

> > the scream out, which used to scare my husband half to death when

we

> > were first married.

> >

> > Now I feel in control during my dreams, and do a lot more

exploring

> or

> > connecting with others. I don't remember the last time I had a

> > nightmare. Learning not to fear my mother helped a lot with that

> > process, I think.

> >

> >

> >

>