Re: Esti *also*---> BPD MOM

[Guest guest]

,

I'm not upset at all. I really come to this group for validation and

you gave it to me. thats what i need the most. My nada is also

the " passive agressive " kind. sometimes i see people writing about

nadas who do blatantly nasty stuff to them. mine is more the silent

treatment, ignoring, and then pretending like its alright. of course

there are blatant episodes too but not as much since i moved 3000

miles away

>

> I wrote that response in such a worried flurry I realized I forgot

to put back my other paragraph in which I explained that I don't know

all the details of *your* situation and don't purport to =- I just

know the feeling of the nc/lc stuff and the grandkids part very

well.  I sincerely hope you're not offended by my fervor, I just

really wish you the best and like I said = your intuition will know

what to do!

>  

> I also saw someone had a very well informed post before mine with

lots of good info.  This list is great for that

>  

> Sorry again for being so blatant *(need to edit better)*

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[Guest guest]

I can really relate to what you're going through. The decision to go

lc/nc is huge, especially when there are grandchildren involved. I

think it's also more confusing when the person is passive-aggressive.

Not that the other kind isn't horrible, because it is. But with a

passive-aggressive person you are more likely to doubt yourself or

wonder if you're misinterpreting things, especially when you were

raised by that someone and taught to doubt your perception of things

so they can manipulate you. It's also harder for other people to

recognize the abuse for what it is, because it's not as blatent. It's

harder to break away.

Anyway, I think there is some manipulating going on with those phone

calls and messages. It's like she's testing you. It's ok to take it

one day at a time so don't feel like you're on a cliff, but try not

to let guilt prevent you from making the best decisions for you. This

is your life and you deserve happiness.

Sometimes it helps me to think of my mother like a boyfriend. If a

guy I was dating said and did those things, would I continue seeing

him? Hell no... A mom is supposed to be different, but a mom is

supposed to be a lot of things our mothers are not.

> >

> > I wrote that response in such a worried flurry I realized I

forgot

> to put back my other paragraph in which I explained that I don't

know

> all the details of *your* situation and don't purport to =- I just

> know the feeling of the nc/lc stuff and the grandkids part very

> well.  I sincerely hope you're not offended by my fervor, I just

> really wish you the best and like I said = your intuition will know

> what to do!

> >  

> > I also saw someone had a very well informed post before mine with

> lots of good info.  This list is great for that

> >  

> > Sorry again for being so blatant *(need to edit better)*

> >

> >

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