Re: Why do ppl BELIEVE nadas??

December 8, 2008

, I honestly don't know!

My family is the same way, and I know so many of us here have to deal with this

same issue.

I was just wondering that, over this last Thanksgiving -- my nada was there with

our entire family, everyone having a big family holiday except me and my son!

What are these people thinking???? How do they explain my not being there?

She's clearly insane, yet they have consistently believed her, for my entire

life, that I'm this crazy selfish awful person and SHE'S the innocent victim!

Oh well. Their loss.

I think, at the heart of it, is that nobody wants to believe that a mother can

hate her own children or that she'd deliberately spread lies about them or want

to harm them and make them unhappy. Nobody wants to believe anybody could be so

crazy and evil!

It's easier to believe that WE are bad and selfish and mean than it is to

believe that some mothers just don't love their children.

S

Why do ppl BELIEVE nadas??

To: WTOAdultChildren1

> For BPs, it's sometimes all about getting everyone on THEIR

> side, and making YOU look like the insane, irrational one.... Ugghhhhh

> -------------

> S - You are so right about that! My nada had her whole family

> convinced I am this evil, ungrateful, horrible person who took

> away her grandchildren. It always shocks me that these people,

> who were around to watch me be sexually assuatled not just once

> but by 4 strangers from age 3 - 8 and NEVER SAID A WORD!!!! -

> just think it's normal that my nada is a nutcase. THEY BELIEVE

> HER !! WTH??? They felt sorry for HER - Nada sucked up so much

> attention from MY tragedy and never once attempted to get ME

> HELP - just focused on what a poor little waif she was.

>

> Why do people believe Nada's? I mean seriously!!

>

December 8, 2008

Underlying pretty much all of their mentally ill behaviors is their

need to control everything.

The bpd/narcissist/psychopath is obsessed with having total, absolute

control over their little universe, so they can and will " spin " all

situations and incidents to make themselves look like the good

guy/perfect one/martyr and *you* (or anyone else, really) as the bad

guy/evil child/criminal.

Its a pattern seen over and over not only in these posts, but articles

and studies on bpds and actual criminals.

If they can't control you, they want nothing to do with you, and you

are stamped " bad " .

-Annie

>

> For BPs, it's sometimes all about getting everyone on THEIR side,

and making YOU look like the insane, irrational one.... Ugghhhhh

> -------------

> S - You are so right about that! My nada had her whole family

convinced I am this evil, ungrateful, horrible person who took away

her grandchildren. It always shocks me that these people, who were

around to watch me be sexually assuatled not just once but by 4

strangers from age 3 - 8 and NEVER SAID A WORD!!!! - just think it's

normal that my nada is a nutcase. THEY BELIEVE HER !! WTH??? They

felt sorry for HER - Nada sucked up so much attention from MY tragedy

and never once attempted to get ME HELP - just focused on what a poor

little waif she was.

>

> Why do people believe Nada's? I mean seriously!!

>

December 8, 2008

I agree, I think that is a big factor; most people have sweet, normal,

mentally healthy mothers and simply can't take in the concept that any

mother would do the kinds of things to us that we've endured.

The title " Mother " is imbued with a nearly sacred quality.

Well, shoot; it is hard for us KOs to accept and admit that our own

mothers are severely mentally ill, and *we* are the ones who have

experienced the abuse first-hand!

I think its the same thought-pattern as people not wanting to believe

that there has been so much sexual abuse of children by priests.

People are trained from birth to trust and *revere* a priest so,

whatever the priest told the child to do was OK. Children were

instructed or threatened to not talk about it. Children were told that

it was their fault(!?) It took a LOT of publicity and HUNDREDS of

separate incidents coming to light to make people even admit that it

was going on AT ALL, a LOT more than anyone dreamed, and now people

just want to sweep it under the rug again and forget about it.

-Annie

> I think, at the heart of it, is that nobody wants to believe that a

mother can hate her own children or that she'd deliberately spread

lies about them or want to harm them and make them unhappy. Nobody

wants to believe anybody could be so crazy and evil!

>

> It's easier to believe that WE are bad and selfish and mean than it

is to believe that some mothers just don't love their children.

>

> S

December 8, 2008

" nobody wants to believe that a mother can hate her own children or

that she'd deliberately spread lies about them or want to harm them

and make them unhappy. Nobody wants to believe anybody could be so

crazy and evil! "

YES!!! That is exactly it. Mother-love is perceived by many people as

a sacred, angelic force. Mother-hatred is inconceivable to many

people. Yet this household evil is common & is safely hidden behind

closed doors. There are no witnesses, no judge, no jury. Kids are easy

targets. Nadas shield themselves behind the sacred belief in

mother-love and manipulate the hell out of everyone around them.

>

> , I honestly don't know!

>

> My family is the same way, and I know so many of us here have to

deal with this same issue.

>

> I was just wondering that, over this last Thanksgiving -- my nada

was there with our entire family, everyone having a big family holiday

except me and my son! What are these people thinking???? How do they

explain my not being there? She's clearly insane, yet they have

consistently believed her, for my entire life, that I'm this crazy

selfish awful person and SHE'S the innocent victim!

>

> Oh well. Their loss.

>

> I think, at the heart of it, is that nobody wants to believe that a

mother can hate her own children or that she'd deliberately spread

lies about them or want to harm them and make them unhappy. Nobody

wants to believe anybody could be so crazy and evil!

>

> It's easier to believe that WE are bad and selfish and mean than it

is to believe that some mothers just don't love their children.

>

> S

>

> Why do ppl BELIEVE nadas??

> To: WTOAdultChildren1

>

> > For BPs, it's sometimes all about getting everyone on THEIR

> > side, and making YOU look like the insane, irrational one.... Ugghhhhh

> > -------------

> > S - You are so right about that! My nada had her whole family

> > convinced I am this evil, ungrateful, horrible person who took

> > away her grandchildren. It always shocks me that these people,

> > who were around to watch me be sexually assuatled not just once

> > but by 4 strangers from age 3 - 8 and NEVER SAID A WORD!!!! -

> > just think it's normal that my nada is a nutcase. THEY BELIEVE

> > HER !! WTH??? They felt sorry for HER - Nada sucked up so much

> > attention from MY tragedy and never once attempted to get ME

> > HELP - just focused on what a poor little waif she was.

> >

> > Why do people believe Nada's? I mean seriously!!

> >

December 8, 2008

Absolutely. This is something that has hurt and angered me my whole

life. My family thinks the same of me because of my nada's

manipulation. It's really made me feel like a piece of garbage

sometimes. I'm still in the process of healing, but I don't even

know if I can, because it's still happening. I can't believe

it...you're describing what my life has been like and still is like.