Guest guest Posted December 7, 2008 Report Share Posted December 7, 2008 I absolutely agree with you and I feel the same way. My nada always manipulated situations so that my family and people who were close to me thought that I was just a bad person. She still has everyone believing that I have some unfounded resentment towards her for making " normal parenting mistakes " , and that I just resent her because I can't let those things go. Sometimes I still subconciously believe that I'm a bad person because of how many times I've been told it, and it effects my relationships even now, as an adult. I've never been able to feel comfortable being around normal people in normal situations, because I always hear my family in the back of my head saying " you're a terrible person, it's so hard to love you. " That's why this group has helped me tremendously. I hope it does the same for you. > > It is so bizzare to feel alone, bad, and never understood my whole life > and suddenly read stories that someone else is writing and its like > they are describing my life. When all my life it was just me. Its > like the other stories are describing things I never even admitted to > myself or could articulate. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 7, 2008 Report Share Posted December 7, 2008 mycats wrote: I've never been able to feel comfortable being around normal people in normal situations, because I always hear my family in the back of my head saying " you're a terrible person, it's so hard to love you. " ------------- I felt the same way, still do a lot of the time. It was beaten into my head what an awful, unloveable, terrible child I was. As an adult it is the same. Everything I do is wrong, every choice I make etc. This is why I finally just went NC - so I could start healing and realize that just bc somebody says something bad about me ... does NOT mean it's true! This has been a huge achievement in therapy. It was so hard ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 NonBP offspring of BPD parentsI'm new here. But I just wanted to say I am feeling the same way! After reading these posts I am sitting here with my jaw on the floor! It is so amazing how simular our stories are because I spent so long feeling alone. I also can read people extremely well. And It has always seems weird that it took me so long to realize that my nada had " mental issues " . But I too, thought she was the greatest person on the face of the earth until the lightbulb came on. And then everything made sence! I just recently realized bpd was her problem. julie in maine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 I am the same, I tend to not feel comfortable around " regular " people because I have so little to share with them. Most people share stories about their families: their spouses, their kids, etc., or who they are currently dating. And I have never been married and never had kids, and rarely date. All I can share are stories about my work and my friends, so I feel kind of like an outsider. But, I have found a circle of friends and we all share common interests (literature, films, theater, food) and we hang out together and have parties and things, and many of us are single and childless and so with us its no big deal! I finally feel like I have my " family of choice. " -Annie > I've never been > able to feel comfortable being around normal people in normal > situations, because I always hear my family in the back of my head > saying " you're a terrible person, it's so hard to love you. " > ------------- > > I felt the same way, still do a lot of the time. It was beaten into my head what an awful, unloveable, terrible child I was. As an adult it is the same. Everything I do is wrong, every choice I make etc. This is why I finally just went NC - so I could start healing and realize that just bc somebody says something bad about me ... does NOT mean it's true! This has been a huge achievement in therapy. It was so hard ... > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 I know what you mean. No matter how much perspective I gain, nor how much I heal--I always feel like an outsider. And, you're right...we need to find our own circle of outsiders so we can help each other grow & give each other support. Normal people just don't get it. They're in a different world. > > I've never been > > able to feel comfortable being around normal people in normal > > situations, because I always hear my family in the back of my head > > saying " you're a terrible person, it's so hard to love you. " > > ------------- > > > > I felt the same way, still do a lot of the time. It was beaten into > my head what an awful, unloveable, terrible child I was. As an adult > it is the same. Everything I do is wrong, every choice I make etc. > This is why I finally just went NC - so I could start healing and > realize that just bc somebody says something bad about me ... does NOT > mean it's true! This has been a huge achievement in therapy. It was > so hard ... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 8, 2008 Report Share Posted December 8, 2008 Annie, I'm happy you found your " family of choice " . It's more important to have that circle of friends whom you share common interests and fun than be made to feel different because you didn't choose the same paths " regular " or so called " normal " people did. I always found it difficutl to relate to most people because I didn't choose the same lifestyle they did and many regarded me as " wierd " which further alienated me. I think I've accepted that my 'wierdness " is really just about my uniqueness as a person. And just because everyone is wearing the color purple this season doesn't mean I will be! LOL! ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Monday, December 8, 2008 10:25:44 AM Subject: Re: So Bizzare I am the same, I tend to not feel comfortable around " regular " people because I have so little to share with them. Most people share stories about their families: their spouses, their kids, etc., or who they are currently dating. And I have never been married and never had kids, and rarely date. All I can share are stories about my work and my friends, so I feel kind of like an outsider. But, I have found a circle of friends and we all share common interests (literature, films, theater, food) and we hang out together and have parties and things, and many of us are single and childless and so with us its no big deal! I finally feel like I have my " family of choice. " -Annie > I've never been > able to feel comfortable being around normal people in normal > situations, because I always hear my family in the back of my head > saying " you're a terrible person, it's so hard to love you. " > ------------ - > > I felt the same way, still do a lot of the time. It was beaten into my head what an awful, unloveable, terrible child I was. As an adult it is the same. Everything I do is wrong, every choice I make etc. This is why I finally just went NC - so I could start healing and realize that just bc somebody says something bad about me ... does NOT mean it's true! This has been a huge achievement in therapy. It was so hard ... > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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