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Re: My Manifesto

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I know this was written about you, but you just said everything that

I feel, but until now, couldn't find the words for. Thank you for

posting that.

~Sara Jo

>

> First, myself.

>

> I deserve to be happy, to have a happy marriage and to have

myself.

> The most important thing to me right now is to know myself and be

> true to myself. I want to do what is best for me; I want to take

good

> care of myself. I am God-bearing just like everyone else. I need

to

> be good to me. I need to be able to recognize my own needs and

meet

> them for myself. This is my primary goal. I will need God's help

to

> do this.

>

> Secondly, I am not in charge or control of anyone else. Nor am I

> responsible for anyone else. We all have to take responsibility to

> meet our own needs. I am unable to take responsibility for anyone

> else's happiness any longer. Other's happiness can not be based on

> whether or not I come through for them in the way they would like

me

> to.

>

> I would like to have relationships with significant people in my

> life; these relationships need to be based on respect for my

> independent, individual personhood. More specifically, I need to

have

> the freedom to recognize what I need to do, and I need the freedom

to

> do it without fear.

>

> The fear is my part. No one can put fear on me except for me. Fear

> shows up in my life when I worry about disappointing others. In

the

> past, this fear has been coupled with almost debilitating anxiety

and

> dark, deep depression. It is also coupled with guilt becuase I

feel

> like I need to make others' lives happy. I feel like I am not

doing

> my job as a human being if others' are disappointed in my

behavior.

>

> Respecting my personhood is your part. I will no longer be in

> relationships where I cannot be respected as an individual. You

have

> the perogative to dissagree with my decisions, however, I will no

> longer feel guilt, fear, or anxiety after making the decisions I

need

> to make. If you would like to have a relationship with me, you

need

> to realize that I am a piece of humanity. I will make mistakes. I

> will piss you off. I will not always do what you want me to do. In

> fact, I may only seldom or never do what you want me to do. After

> all, I am not a trainable animal. I am not going to be the

possession

> you take ownership of and train any longer. I am untrainable,

> ungroundable, unguiltable.

>

> In spite of, and maybe more accurately becuase of, all of my

faults

> and shortcomings, I am a beautiful, courageous, kind, unique,

> spectacular individual. I hope that you can see that in me.

>

> It is most important to me that I see that in myself.

>

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